THE BATTALION
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 1981
)
1
n the thinl
yard pis
Amid the grumbling and rumbling of a
ampus in turmoil, there stirs a sleeping
pant.
While all the peasants and serfs are com-
ilaining about whose rights belong to
diom, who started whatever saber duel
,nd where the people with the funny anim-
ds on the shirt can go, a slight rumbling in
:he campus foundation has been missed.
After a long winter(spring/summer/fall/
md winter again)’s nap, the giant has finally
and then icgun to stir.
t's running
:1 only out
tries of41
er by line-
a 12-yanl
iosbie anil
-oneom
iutler anil
s from Joe
13 to (lie
i mistake,
e artificial
uld get to
a quarter-
or anyone
red out to
Dorsett'i
ained 117
or year ii
er ever to
: five sea-
ing giant soon to act
Oh, he’s not stirring much. One reason
is that he’s been asleep a long time. And the
last time the giant jumped up quickly, he
was put to sleep twice in the same season,
itien’s firstBthe last time with an unbelievable 38-foot
ump shot at the buzzer.
Magical (Call Me Merlin) Metcalf has
been working the better part of the summer
and fall on potions and spells, trying to get
ready for the new jousting season that is
scheduled to open this week with an exhibi
tion game.
Magical had been put to sleep himself for
a long time, but he has always been able to
recover easier than his giant.
Many of the old spells that he has to work
with are not obsolete yet. He’s got one that
calls for the fleet feet of a Reggie bird that is
a sure thing for a few points this season.
Another spell calls for a block of Woods,
jam of Claude and bound of Bluntson. The
last ingredient is a new one adapted espe
cially for this season, to help the brews for
the jousting season.
There are a number of both new and old
spells and potions on the bench that will
help a lot in the coming bouts.
But the giant’s Wall, which used to be so
formidable, has been tom down and must
be rebuilt. Magical (Call Me Merlin) Met
calf can do it, but it will take all the help of
the serfs and followers to shore up the Wall.
It can be the terrible weapon it was before it
fell upon hard times — all it needs is a little
help.
The followers of the giant let him down
just before he was put to sleep. When he
fell and needed support, the few who were
at the final jousting match could not hold
him up. In that match, the Killer’s Frogs
became the Killer Frogs.
And the old nemesis, the evil Duke Sut
ton of Mutton is still in the woodwork, like a
nasty little bug, trying to upset all the well-
laid plans of the good magician Magical
Metcalf.
He is sitting there patiently waiting to
turn the lights out on our hero. Has the evil
Duke no decency? Will he play the game
like it is supposed to be played? Can he
joust without resorting to tricks? I doubt it.
Others also are out for the giant’s blood.
These evil creatures abound in the jousting
world.
One of the earliest opponents for the
giant, in what is really a warm-up for the
Kingdom’s jousting season, will be the
Bayou Badcats from Louisiana. They used
to be called swamp kittens, but after beat
ing up on a black and blue (and partially
sleepy) giant late in the season last year,
they earned the name Badcats.
These Badcats beat up on all the other
cats in their kingdom last year and made it
far along the golden path (or yellow brick
road) to the crown of the mythical kingdom
of NCAA. The Badcats were ambushed
close to the goal, however, by the minions
of the wicked witch of the east coast and
midwest.
But there are other foes equally as evil
within the giant’s own Kingdom. The Evil
Duke Sutton of Mutton is always plotting
against the giant. And Gambling “Lucky’
Lewis will bring some new hit men with
him to try to bring the giant down.
“Lucky” still has his old weapons: Rob
“The Sting” Williams and “In-your-eye-
Clyde” Drexler among others, but he has
added some muscle in Akeem the dream.
“Lucky” promises that anyone who crosses
Akeem will soon be dreaming.
And who can forget the rest of the fight
ers in the kingdom. Sour Lemons is still
with his new wave group BEVO, while Kil
ler Killingsworth and his Killer Frogs will
once again try to trip the giant. The Bumb
ling Bears and Ignorance-is (call me any
thing but) Bliss and his little horsies are out
for the respect nobody showed them last
season. And the bird-brained buzzards of
Rice, as well as the pirates of the badlands
with their leader Mouthy Myers, will be
out to kick the giant while they think he is
down and out.
The battle for supremacy of the kingdom
and the right to continue along the yellow
brick road to the championship will be an
interesting one, with almost any team cap
able of winning it.
But with the new potions of Magical (Call
me Merlin) Metcalf and the new Wall being
formed, the giant should be able to stomp
on his opponents this jousting season. That
is, as long as he doesn’t drink another sleep
ing potion and go from a fire-breathing,
romping-stomping giant to a sleeping babe.
With a little help from all the serfs, ser
vants, peasants and royalty (and any other
followers), the giant can be on the NCAA’s
golden path (a mythical land that no one has
ever seen but many have heard) heading for
a crown.
That is, with a little support both at the
giant’s castle (the Hollerin’ House), and
away from those strange creatures, the fair
headed, fair-weather whooping alumni.
Sports
Page 13
Men's
clinch
can
soccer team
second with win
By FRANK L. CHRISTLIEB
Battalion Staff
The Texas A&M University
men’s soccer team defeated the
Baylor Bears 3-2 Saturday in
Waco, lifting its season record to
6-4-3, while the Aggies’ South
west Conference Soccer League
mark is 3-0-3.
To clinch second place, Texas
A&M needs a victory in Saturday’s
season-ending home match with
Rice University. The Aggies have
nine points in the league stand
ings, and a win over the Owls will
push the team ahead of the Uni
versity of Texas, which finished its
season with 10 points.
The Southern Methodist Uni
versity Mustangs, whom the
Aggies tied 1-1 Nov. 1, has clin
ched the SWCSL title with a 4-0-1
record.
The Aggies and Owls play on
the main drill field at noon, follow
ing the completion of the match
between the Aggie women’s soc
cer team and Sam Houston State
University.
In Saturday’s match, the Bears
scored the first goal 32 minutes
into the first half. Texas A&M’s
Carlos Gutierrez tied the score at
the 41-minute mark, while Aggie
forward Scott Gamble scored
three minutes later on a penalty
shot, giving Texas A&M a 2-1 lead
at halftime.
The Bears scored 15 minutes
into the second half, while the
Aggies’ Gamble scored the win
ning goal minutes later.
Texas A&M coach Telmo Fran
co said his team didn’t play well
against the Bears, but he’s pleased
with the fact that the Aggies ha
ven’t lost a conference match.
“The team really didn’t play
that well,” Franco said. “I imagine
there was some concern about
winning the game ... it may have
been tension about having to win
the match, but we just didn’t play
very well.”
The Aggies have played their
last few matches without four key
players, declared ineligible under
NCAA rules by which the team
must now abide. Franco recently
received news that goalie Xavier
Holquien, fullback David Har
mon and forwards Ramon Marin
and Brian Torres couldn’t play the
rest of the season due to NCAA
infractions involving eligibility.
Assistant coach David Flentge
said: “We’re extremely pleased
with the outcome of the games
considering the number of players
we’ve lost because of the eligibil
ity requirements. We’ve main
tained an aggressive level on our
team even though we’ve lost all
these players.”
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The Texas A&M pistol team
tured first place in its first
ime match of the year Saturday.
The Aggies held off the Univer-
of Texas-Arlington and Sam
[ouston State University for the
le, finishing with a team score of
(002.
UTA shot a 1,994 and Sam
finished third with
finished second and fifth indi
vidually for the Aggies. Buck Sul
livan shot a 518 in the ROTC divi
sion and Margie Arbon captured
the women’s division with a 461.
The Aggies had 18 people com
peting of the 52 entered in the six
team match.
Chip Miles and Ben Jones
The team’s next competition is
Dec. 5 when it will host a duel
match with Sam Houston.
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