Page 6 THE BATTALION
THURSDAY, MAY 1, 1980
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Shift in attitude responsible
Divorces now commonplace
j&MSC AGGIE CINEMAimm
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by CATHY L. BREWER
Special to the Battalion
Divorce. Immunization against it
has worn off . Gone are the days when
it only happened to Hollywood stars
and starlets.
Television has traded the calm,
domestic bliss of “Father Knows
Best” for the chaotic “broken home”
of “One Day At A Time.”
Men and women now divorce
without stigma and without jeopar
dizing their jobs or careers — even in
such sensitive fields as politics or the
ministry.
Why has this happened? A great
deal of the change can be attributed
to a shift in public attitude about the
definition of the family.
Bryan attorney Elmer McVey said
better job opportunities for women
have helped change this attitude.
“The woman doesn’t have to feel
trapped in a marriage anymore be
cause of limited financial resources, ”
he said. “But this pursuit of personal
“F'or a long time, marriage
counseling was considered help
ful only if it kept an ailing mar
riage intact, ” said Dr. Felice
Klein, a Bryan marriage and
family counselor. “But many
marriages can t and shouldn t be
saved. If a doctor finds that a
diseased kidney can’t be re
paired, he may remove it in
order to save the patient’s life.
The kidney is lost, but the treat
ment is a success. And so it is
with marriage counseling. “
growth is sometimes resented by the
husband, complications set in, and
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Pol adv. pd. lor by Sears McGee campaign.
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there you are with one big, fat di
vorce.”
Often these divorces involve chil
dren. Currently 20 percent of fami
lies with children are maintained by
one parent, and a U.S. Census
Bureau report estimates 45 percent
of all children born in any given year
will live with only one of their pa
rents at some time before they are
18.
Teresa Schindler of the Austin
Bureau of Vital Statistics said in Bra
zos County, 204 couples with chil
dren were granted divorces in 1979.
A child’s reaction to a divorce may
differ depending on his age. Dr.
Felice Klein, a Bryan marriage and
family counselor, said the most diffi
cult age for a child is 5 or 6. “At this
age the child is very attached to the
parent of the opposite sex,” she ex
plained. “The removal of this parent
can be detrimental to the child’s phy
sical and mental development.”
Klein said the role of the marriage
and family counselor has gone
through many changes in the last 10
years.
“For a long time marriage counsel
ing was considered helpful only if it
kept an ailing marriage intact,” she
said. “But many marriages can’t and
shouldn’t be saved. If a doctor finds
that a diseased kidney can’t be re
paired, he may remove it in order to
save the patient’s life. The kidney is
lost, but the treatment is a success.
And so it is with marriage coun
seling.”
Klein said the marriage and family
counselor has also taken on a new
role, that of divorce counseling. If
during the process of counseling, the
couple decides not to stay together,
the therapist will continue to see
them during and after the divorce.
“This goes hand in hand with mar
riage counseling nowadays,” she
said.
The third and most important
change in counseling is the increased
concern for the children involved in
divorced families. Children are en
couraged to air their problems in
stead of bottling them up.
But professional therapists are not
the only ones showing increased con
cern. Schools, at one time reluctant
to become involved with the child’s
family life, are now
show concern for the child outside)
the classroom.
The McLean Institute for Stliol
Consultation in Belmont, Mass,
teaches school personnel to deal will
the special problems and needs j
children from divorced families,
Peggy White, a counselor at Brjii
High School, said the CollegeSti
tion and Bryan school systems at
not involved in any specialized trail
ing program of this nature. “But»[
do see our share of students froi
split families,” she said.
The most popular image of tit
child from a split home seems toll
the bully, the child who is constant!
getting into trouble at school.
Ernie Wentrcek, chief juvenii
officer for Brazos County, saystli
description is not far from the tml:
“A significant percentage of tit
kids I see who have been in son
kind of trouble have come froms]
homes,” he said. “I see a deft]
correlation.”
Wentrcek supervises two counsel
ing groups for these children: ateeit
age survival program and aprogra
Easily swayed by
from either parent, childrens!! «>nsid
often torn between which pml
they want to live with. “Enchpt
rent tries to bribe the
Bryan attorney Elmer AMej
said. “A father might tell his li
year-old daughter that he nil
get her a car and she can stayk
on dates as late as she wants jus
so she will stay with him.“
for runaway and truancy cases. He
juvenile office on April 7 beganoffti
ing a family counseling program.
Children involved in custody bat
ties are the most torn. McVey cal
this the “loyalty dilemma.”
Easily swayed by appeals
either parent, children are often ton
between which parent they wantl)
live with.
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“Each parent tries to bribe
child,” McVey said. “A father m
tell his 16-year-old daughter thatk
will get her a car and she can stay oil
on dates as late as she wants just»
she will stay with him.”
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McVey said women’s liberatioi
has changed the courts.
“Women wanted to be equal,
nbw they are,” he said. “The
h‘ces?T
serjudfices? I read of a judge in
Worth who has awarded 25 perceil
of his custody cases to the husband
this past year.”
EAST
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Section 14.01 of the revised Tesn
Family Code states that in determb
ing with which parent to place tb
child, the court shall consider i
qualifications of the respective
rents without regard to the sex of (If
parent.
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McVey said if the child is 14 of
older, the judge will consider hisoi
her desires, but this alone does
determine the outcome.
Recently, couples have turned to
joint custody to avoid painful custodj
fights. Eight states, includingTexai!
have joint custody provisions.
College Station attorney Mike
Hoelscher said joint custody was not
allowed in Texas until September
1979. He has had one case of joint
custody.
Nancy Hawtrey of the Bryan law
firm, Seymour, Hawtrey & Hankins
said joint custody is virtually »
heard of in this area.
“Joint custody is a new thing. This
is a conservative area. People dont
branch out and try new things.” she
said.
McVey is skeptical of joint cus
tody.
“How can a parent or a judge allow
this to happen to a child?” he asked
“The father has the kid for one
month, the mother for the next, then
the father again. Can you imagine
the confusion the child would have?
It would be like going through their
parents’ divorce a hundred times, !
And so the struggle goes on. Pa
rents, children and professional
counselors battle with the new
domestic reality of the single-parent
family, as families continue to splitat
an alarming rate.
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