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Douglas Finbar Graham is becoming what he feared
most — an old Ag. Doug has been an editor, writer,
and cartoonist with the Battalion for the last two
years. He graduated this semester, ending a 5-year
career at Texas A&M.
Battalion photo by Lee Roy Leschper
a ““J)ouglas Finbar Graham: man, myth or cartoonist?
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Doug Graham, The Batt s cartoon-
1, has graduated. He’s now the
perty of the U.S. Army, and the
lehistoric characters of his Thotz
ip will depend on the Post Office
jbring them to The Batt from Fort
Okla.
Ifirontosauri will no longer inhabit
le Battalion office, though they will
till grace the paper’s editorial page.
A'ith the exceptions of Jim Earle’s
uch and dp’s cartoons on the
sports pages, Doug has done most of
the artwork in The Batt for two years.
Doug’s duties were confined
chiefly to illustrating stories for a
time. His career in comic strips got
off to what he admits was a feeble
start in Feem. The roaches and rats
who were Feem s main figures in
fested The Batt during the summer
of 1978.
Thofz began as an occasional occu
pant of the editorial page in the
presidntob
nt, made
e prelimi®
p of 77, tU
tirdU.N.G*
Develop®:
in New
spring of 1979, moved next to a
three-time-a-week strip and finally,
against almost all the editors’ better
judgment, to a daily. Those who
campaigned against increasing the
frequency of the strip’s appearance
now cheerfully admit they were
wrong.
The main character ot lliotz,
Cheeseworth, had many things in
common with his creator — up to
and including fingerprints, it’s ru
mored. Both struggled their ways
through “Sadistics” and battled the
temptations of keg parties and other
diversions in their valiant attempts
to triumph in the evil world of classes
and grades.
Batt staffers will miss Doug’s ta-
'-Heirtt'and vSvsktflity, bF
one else could do so many things**—
design ads, draw an illustration (and
make it funny) on a minute’s notice,
and write capably for any depart
ment of the paper.
But what will leave the biggest
void is the loss of Doug’s personality.
Doug’s wit has decimated entire
newsrooms full of writers and editors
with a single punch line. He can in
sult a victim’s virtue, heredity,
potency and sexual preference with
one glib remark.
Doug’s funniest cartoons aren’t
the ones he draws, they’re the ones
he lives. Tales of his eccentricities
are almost endless.
Doug’s background — his father
was in the army — made him a natu
ral for the Corps. This same back
ground also gave him his peculiar
taste in food. For example, his idea of
a culinary taste treat was govern
ment issue C-rations.
Eating fruit cockatail out of a can is
by no means the most legendary of
*
Doug’s gastronomical trangressions.
He has things in common with the
trash can inhabitant, Ernie the
Weremaggot, who is disgusting “ev
ery time there is a full sun.
Undergoing Army training one
summer, Doug found himself in an
exercise aimed to teach soldiers how
to live off the land. The trainees were
being shown the correct method for
killing and eating chickens in the wil
derness.
There were various military units
there, all claiming to be the “best
damn outfits’’ from their various
campuses or regions. Doug was lis
tening to them, holding an armload
of field supplies.
Suddenly, he asked a
trainee nearby to hold the supplies
for a second. When she asked why,
he smiled and grabbed a chicken. He
looked into the chicken’s eyes; the
chicken looked into his. A moment of
empathy passed between the two —
then Doug hit through the bird’s
feathery neck.
On another occasion, an editor
eased into the Doug’s bedroom early
one morning, hoping to return a
book without waking him.
He found Doug asleep on the floor
under two week’s worth of dirty
laundry.
“Well, it was cold,” Doug said as
he woke up.
As jthose of us close to him have
1— Doug is,to ? la^ : .
chaos.
He has been known to lose the
keys to his house, a trait that has
forced him to make the Batt office a
true home away from home.
Doug’s absent-mindedness is
noticeable in his relationships with
other people, too.
For example, Doug’s perception
of time is called “Graham-time“. It
works like this: five minutes = one
hour; ten minutes = three hours;
fifteen minutes = infinity. Yet, de
spite his personal problems, he was
always on time with stories and
artwork for the Batt. His schoolwork
is another story ...
Despite his tardiness and ques
tionable “eating” habits, we will miss
Doug and we hope the Army will
find a use for his unconventional ta
lents.
To Doug, if you should read this:
Love, peace, and be sure to write us
from Iran.
— Battalion Staff
H0U/3& qrKo«>&5
{tre-e- deh'se-r^)
S. Cheeseworth is the hero of Doug’s semi-autobiographical
comic strip ‘Thotz.’ The strip concerns a pair of dinosaurs —
Cheeseworth and his roommate Tork — going to a university
similar to Texas A&M. Despite Doug’s departure, the strip
will continue on a daily basis since he’ll be mailing it to the Batt
from wherever he ends up.
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