Slouch
By Jim Earle
“I’m glad that the University was not interested in selling
the Aggie Band to the lady from Kuwait, but just for my own
personal information, I’d like to know what her going price
is for a trumpet blower.”
Opinion
The coming crunch
A holiday is almost here. That’s good news.
Only four remain until finals. That’s not so good.
The end-of-semester crunch is beginning. Research pap
ers and more tests are piling up in an attempt to cover
everything in the course the catalog describes.
Our only advice is to keep a sense of humor about the
whole thing. Don’t get crunched.
Clown Kahn should quit
s>
When President Carter IV.ed^hiiJf his Q^hjiyet apd shook up
his top stafflast summer, he mysteriously let Alfred E\ Kahn
escape.
Kahn has “chief inflation fighter’ as his title, though he’s
done nothing to show he’s entitled to it. Perhaps President
Carter keeps him around just for laughs or kicks. Every
administration can use a court jester.
Instead of spouting nonsense, Kahn should throw in the
towel and get off the government payroll. Last March Kahn
was candid enough to say that if the inflation rate didn’t
begin to taper by the beginning of the summer, he would
consider his program a failure.
Well, inflation hasn’t tapered and Kahn HAS failed. In
the interest of preserving national sanity. President Carter
had better dump Kahn as quickly as one could say Ted
Kennedy.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat
the small society
by Brickman
l* IVAT
s'
Washington Star Syndicata, Inc
//-/<£
The Battalion
U S P S 045 360
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MEMBER
Texas Press Association
Southwest Journalism Congress
Editor Liz Newlin
Managing Editor Andy Williams
Asst. Managing Editor Dillard Stone
News Editors .Karen Cornelison
and Michelle Burrowes
Sports Editor Sean Petty
City Editor Roy Bragg
Campus Editor Keith Taylor
Focus Editors Beth Calhoun
Staff Writers Meril Edwards, Nancy
Andersen, Louie Arthur, Richard Oliver,
Mark Patterson, Carolyn Blosser, Kurt
Allen, Debbie Nelson, Rhonda Watters
Photo Editor . Lee Roy Leschper Jr.
Photographers Lynn Blanco, Sam
Stroder, Ken Herrera
Cartoonist Doug Graham
Opinions expressed in The Battalion are
those of the editor or of the writer of the
article and are not necessarily those of the
University administration or the Board of
Regents. The Battalion is a non-profit, self-
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as a university and community newspaper.
Editorial policy is determined by the editor.
Viewpoint
The Battalion
Texas A&M University
Friday
November 16, 1979
Analysis
Khomeini, once exiled by shah, fill
leads Iran as half-king, half-pope
By JIM ANDERSON
United Press International
WASHINGTON — By Islamic tradition
and Iranian law, the Ayatollah Ruhollah
Khomeini is half-pope, half-king, with a
combination of absolute moral and legal
authority that has not existed in the mod
ern world since Mao Tse-tung died.
The Shi’a sect probably has about 87 mil
lion adherents around the world.
Khomeini’s sect, called the Ithna Asharis
(literally. The Twelve-ers) has prevailed in
Iran since 1502, and claims as followers
about half the population of Iraq, as well as
substantial minorities in the Persian Gulf
States and Lebanon.
The Shiite believe a council of 12 imams
represents the direct descendants of
Mohammed’s son-in-law Ali, who died in a
dispute with Sunni Moslems in 661 A.D.
The 12 imams, of whom Khomeini is
dominant, have approximately the same
spiritual authority that the pope has with
Roman Catholics.
From that spiritual authority, the 12 im
ams also derive a mystic, regal power: as
one of the holy books puts it, “The Imam’s
light abiding in the faithful s heart is more
resplendent than a sun spreading daylight,
because the Imam is always within the
hearts of all his loyal people.”
The group which took over the U.S.
Embassy in Tehran goes by the name of
“The Loyal Followers of the Imam.”
For the past 1,000 years, the Shiites in
Persia existed in an uneasy relationship
with a succession of weak or brutal rulers.
Then the Pahlavi family came to power in
1921 under Reza Khan — a tough Cossack
who united the country which had become
virtually a joint colony of Russia and Great
Britain.
Among Reza Khan’s revolutionary ideas
was to minimize the power of imams, and
there is a story — which may only be a
legend — that Reza Khan stormed the mos
que in the holy city of Qom, his boots and
spurs still on his feet, and threatened the
imams for criticizing his wife for going out
in public without a veil.
That modernization process was acceler
ated by Shah Mohammed Rezafc
who further reduced the powerofi
ams by distributing their churcH
part of his “White Revolution,
More disquieting to the imams
Khomeini in particular, wastheslj
cision to import the 20th centuryia
wholesale, by bringing in westemts
ogy and sending tens of thousands
nians to the West to be educated
Any religious or sectarian oppo?
the shah and his ideas of re
quashed, sometimes brutally.
After a series of riots in 1963,
was exiled to France where he
spiritual and political alternative
shah and, finally, his nemesis.
f/r
By RH
If Shah
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Dick West
New book on world’s biggest lies
overlooks Washington fabricatiorff^.
pdent
(ounty.
Miri wa:
stin aparti
By DICK WEST
United Press International
WASHINGTON — A new book called
“The Three Biggest Lies ’ does a pretty fair
job of sorting out and ranking universal
prevarication.
For example, it identifies the “3 Biggest
Parent Lies” as “I) This hurts us more tban
it hurts you. 2) We re only looking out for
your best interest. 3) Someday you’ll thank
us.”
By its rating, the “3 Biggest Lawyer
Lies” are “1) I won’t charge you for this
meeting. 2) Don’t worry, I have the judge
in my pocket. 3) If we have to go to trial,
we ll win hands down in front of a jury.”
And so on for more than a hundred other
categories.
But even the author, Howard Smith,
admits the book doesn’t begin to touch all
the classes of mendacity. Following,
although not necessarily in groups of three,
are some Washington-type fabrications he
overlooked.
Four Biggest Senate Lies: 1) I shall have
a few brief remarks. 2) Men of good will can
disagree without being disagreeable. 3) I
have the highest regard for my disting
uished colleague’s ability and integrity. 4)
Politics aside,.
Four Biggest House Lies: 1) My position
would be the same even if there were no
defense plants in my district. 2) The cost of
the program will be more than offset by the
additional revenue it generates. 3) Actual
ly, I work harder during a recess than when
Gongress is in session. 4) The main reason
for not seeking reelection is because I want
to spend more time with my wife and
family.
Three Biggest Government Switchboard
Lies: 1) I’m sorry, he is out of the office at
the moment. 2) Would you “hold” for just a
second, please? 3) If you leave a number,
he will call you right back.
Three Biggest News Conference Lies: 1)
Frankly,. 2) I don’t know the answer off
hand but my staff will look it up and give
you the information in time to meet your
deadline. 3) That’s a good question.
Three Biggest State Department Lies: 1)
We have had a very informative and useful
exchange of views. 2) A crisis of this sort can
best be handled through normal diplomatic-
channels. 3) Campaign contributions had
nothing to do with his appointment as
ambassador.
m a waite
Three Biggest Bureaucrat Lies: 11» His bo
count all of the unpaid overtime Ipot«40,000 b
In the long run, having a chaulftcused 0 |
limohsine at my disposal saves moKj
The increase is necessary to keep
from taking higher-paying jobs in|i
business.
Three Biggest Congressional
Lies: 1) My wife was able toaccompa
at no additional expense to the taxpav
There is no substitute for a first handls
problems overseas. 3) The stopoveriid |
was arranged without my knowlecfe
Single Biggest White House Lit
president’s trip is nonpolitical. Singlt
gest Journalism Lie: Newspapermen; |
such interesting people.
Letters
A vote of confidence, for a change,
in Carter’s handling of Iran crisis
Un
REN(
,no long
owner ]
[Ranch.
Confc
Wednes
student
hostage
Confo
Editor:
Although I have yet to be really impress
ed by anything President Carter has done
in his administration, I must say that he is
handling the Iranian situation very well.
Ordering deportation of illegal Iranian stu
dents is a sound move to prevent anti-
American demonstrations by Iranians. I
commend Carter for this action and also for
his continuing to reject use of military force
to free the Americans hostages. At this time
there is no need for such force. I wish the
anti-Iranian protestors would follow his ex
ample in keeping cool heads.
It’s nice to feel the country uniting in this
crisis, but those who keep issuing threats of
war are speaking irrationally. I must say it’s
been scary to read the threatening anti-
Iranian signs posted around campus this
week. It seems that some Aggies would like
to declare war.
If America does declare war, Aggies,
we’d be the ones to go — and it wouldn’t be
a sight-seeing trip to Iran. Think about that
the next time you threaten another Iranian.
We need to join together in partriotism,
but we also need to remain rational. Amer
ica can show the rest of the world we’ve got
going for us by acting responsibly — not by
issuing threats of war.
— Jane Brust, ‘83
said that it’s better to look at a problem
from a distance, and that’s where we are.
Therefore, we know better than they do.
It’s obvious that we know what is right, but
they just don’t want to listen.
I think it’s horrible that the Uraniums
might kill millions of Americans just be
cause we won’t give them the Sham of
Uran. They say he killed a few Uraniums,
but they probably deserved it. He’s not like
the Nastys that we executed after the war
— we had a right to.
I’ve heard that the half life of Uraniums is
about 2,000 years. That’s a lot of Americans
they could kill if they lived a full life of
4,000 years. Also, where can we deposit
the Uranium’s wastes?
Terrorist groups like the Palasternum
Liberation Orgasmization might steal the
Uranium’s wastes and kill a lot of Juice and
Americans. And the Juice have a right to be
there, even if they don’t believe that Vita
min C has already been born. They’re the
chosen people anyway.
Since the Egypsums don’t want to share
their oil with us, and also hate the Juice,
they must be communists too. Anyone who
wants communism must not want demo
cracy, and then their people don’t get 1
they want.
Therefore, we should kill all ofttie
niums, Egypsums, and Palasternumli
ation Orgasmizationists. Then, evei
would be safe and happy.
— Larry Cliii 1
C orrection
A story in Tuesday’s Battalion about
the Class of ’80 gift to Texas A&M
contained several errors.
The Association of Former Students
is not paying the Class of ’80, nor any
other class, $1,000 per year. It donates
$1,000 to each class at its formation to
give it a sound financial foundation.
No concrete plans for displaying (lie
miniature 12th Man statues in the
Association of Former Students
lounge have been made. E. KingGi
niece is Bettie Nicholas, and the total
cost of the gift is estimated at
while the statue alone costs
The Battalion regrets the errors. ■
Thotz
By Doug Grahai
the hype
who si
Khomei:
brothel.
From
nian stu
Mustanj
releasee
nounce
Iranian
shootini
‘Sham of Uran
Editor:
I’ve been hearing a lot about those Com-
mys overseas lately, and quite frankly, it’s
really got me stirred up. My Dad always
T
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