Page 6
THE BATTALION
THURSDAY, OCT. 23, 1975
Letters that say ‘can’t we just be friends?’
By DOUGLAS W. KIRK
Battalion Staff Writer
Graduate Student Psychology
Dear John,
I don’t know how to say this other
than to come directly to the point. I
don’t think we should see each
other anymore. I love you in a spe
cial way, but we’ll have to remain
just friends.
Mary Jane
seems to have limited feeling, but
the reasons for breaking a relation
ship are either unclear or largely
absurd.
The third type is the modern let
ter which ends a relationship by ask
ing questions, attempting to under
stand, projecting honesty, openness
and a willingness to communicate.
This type of letter is rare.
The classic and traditional letters
are most common.
When was the last time you dis
covered a letter in your post office
bpx similar to this one? That rela
tively common letter that is capable
of stopping your heart momentari
ly? You tore open the correspon
dence and within the first line your
girl friend wrote — Dear John, get
lost—?
Well, some interesting research
has been done on those letters, and
surprisingly, they have some re
markable similarities. In a recent
study involving 18 actual Dear John
letters, it was found that the con
tents, the length, the method of sig
nature and the time of year that such
letters are mailed represent general
trends.
Dear John letters tend to begin
with the same kinds of statements.
For example:
The beginning
‘T have tried to put it softly in
earlier letters. Perhaps I put it too
softly because you seem so sincere
and involved ...”
‘T’ve been trying to write you a
letter now for over a week . . . ”
“I hope you’re feeling better by
the time you receive this letter. . .
“I don t think you're gonna like
this letter ..."
“I really don’t know if I should tell
you this, but I decided it’s only fair
T hope you’re ready for this . . .”
Dear John letters are com
monplace at colleges and univer
sities. In the United States, a fellow
goes off to college, and while he is
making the difficult transition from
high school, instead of getting en
couragement from his not-yet-
graduated girl friend, what does he
get but a runaround like, “I must say
this before it’s too late ...” and
eventually the world stands still
when he reads, “Dear John ”.
Dear John letters seem to fall into
one of three categories. The first is
the classic letter, or the blunt, terse,
to-the-point letter that does not exp
lain why the relationship is being
dissolved.
The traditional letter is one which
SAVE A BUNDLE
Remember the old. Cash and Carry,
money saving trick?
Buy a pizza at the Krueger-Dunn Snack Bar and eat it there or take
it anywhere you wish. Prices are right, and the pizzas are great.
Before Thanksgiving Special
Hamburger Pizza 1.29
Sausage Pizza. .......1.29
Pepperoni Pizza.......... .........$1.29
OPEN
Monday thru Friday
11:00 a.m.-1:30 p.m.
7:00 p.m.-11:00 p.m.
Saturday & Sunday
4:00 p.m.-11:00 p.m.
QUALITY FIRST’
letter and may assume one of these
arguments:
The inside look
“I got your letter Saturday and if I
didn’t know better I would have
The length tells
A few general trends exist which
one letter may have in common with
another. A Dear John letter is
almost always one and three quar
ters pages in length. It is a good ride
of thumb that longer letters are de
ceptive: they often fall deliberately
short of ending a relationship. More
often than not, they seek to rescue it
from destruction. Modern letters
are usually longer than the other
two types.
The content of Dear John let-
leters ranges widely, but can be re
duced to a few general phrases. One
is, “I must say this before it’s too
late. Another, “You don’t love
me, or “You don’t know me. “I
can’t see you this weekend, is a
common statement, and the most
frequently used is, “Let’s retain our
past friendship,” or, “Can’t we re
main just friends?
A third party, a discovered in
compatibility for one another, a dis
agreement, emotional overkill, or
unrestrained physical contact are
reasons given in Dear John letters
for the breakup. Explanations may
either be honest personality con
flicts, or simple fabricated extrapo
lations to blow someone off. The lat
ter is the most painful.
Most Dear John letters end with
out a closing (i.e., love, yours truly,
always, etc.) but rather simply the
full first name of the writer with
nicknames usually being abandoned
for the occasion. The few letters that
do have some form of closing are the
longer, modern type letters and
more often than not are those letters
from which a relationship can be re
covered.
Dear John letters have been
found to be mailed during the last
week or the first week in the month
and are written in two periods of the
year, with rare exception. These
periods each follow holidays from
school and are termed the early
(Feb.-Apr.) and late (Sept.-Oct.)
periods.
Reasons for a breakup comprise
the middle portion of a Dear John
thought it was the same letter I
wrote to a girl just a few months ago.
You see, I know exactly how you feel
about me and this whole rotten
mess because I’ve been there be
fore. I know what it’s like to feel
something for a person and then
they don’t seem to care about it or
you or anything ...”
“It is hard for me to tell you how I
feel because I don’t really know. I
know I have said this before, but I
truly don’t know what to say any
more ...”
“Before our emotions turn to
hatred, let’s be mature enough to
admit that our relationship is no
longer the same. If we end things
now we will be able to remember
the fun we had unscarred with bit
terness ...”
“Please don t try to call me or
write me and try to straighten things
out. It won t do any good ...”
Dear John letters ring out across
the college campus, most of them
opening with “I” and all of them
raising a topic that usually has emo
tional impact upon the receiver.
It is strange how so many people
in this world address their letters to
that unpopular little fellow to whom
most of us refer forbiddingly as
“John”. “Dear John,” they begin, “I
dig you but ...” and thus another
promising relationship is dissolved
and two individuals go their sepa
rate ways to play the game of love
once again.
No one seems to know when the
first Dear John letter was written.
No doubt the initial letter was sent^
by some queen in Medieval times to
her king. Obviously, the two had
broken physical nearness due to a
war or a sailing ship or maybe an old
fashioned poker game. This parting
of company probably gave the
queen a chance to play the field
while the king was out of the king
dom playing cards, and in time, she
decided to better his poker game by
sending him a royal flush. And so,
the first Dear John was born and
rumor has it that the queen’s courier
lost his head.
Have you tried the new
RAMADA BARBER SALON?
owned & operated by Troy Causey
Roffler products for men,
846-8811 ext. 104 ’
OCTOBER 24 SHOULD BE PROCLAIMED A
DAY
SHAME
In October, 1971 — on the 26th anniversary of the
founding of the United Nations — the UN voted to
expel the Republic of China and seat instead the
bloody regime of Mao Tse-tung and Chou En-lai.
In recent years, the Palestine Liberation Organi
zation has been responsible for cold-blooded murder
at the Munich Olympic Games, the slaughter of in
nocent children in Israel, hijackings, and kidnap
pings. Yet in spite of its constant pleas for peace,
the United Nations General Assembly enthusiastic
ally welcomed the PLO leader, Yasir Arafat, when
he addressed the Assembly in November, 1974! For
these reasons, and many others, we believe it is time
to Get US out! of the United Nations and declare
October 24 a Day Of Shame.
For more information about the United Nations,
order the United Nations Packet for $2.00 from:
STUDENTS FOR RESPONSIBLE EXPRESSION
Box 8103 Aggieland Post Office 77844
BUYING PAGES IN
THE AGGIELAND ’76
FOR
ORGANIZATIONS
AND CLUBS
In an attempt to set precedent concerning the conflict
of recognized versus unrecognized organizations and
clubs, The Aggieland ’76 is requiring organizations and
clubs desiring to be represented in the book BE RECOG
NIZED BY THE UNIVERSITY.
Even if an unrecognized organization or club has
bought pages in past Aggielands, if they want to be in
cluded this year the organization or club must go through
the recognition procedures established by the university.
An organization or club wanting to become recog
nized can do so at the Student Programs Office, second
floor of the MSC.
The Aggieland will accept no organization or club for
contracting space after Nov. 10, 1975.
All previously recognized organizations and clubs
plus those applying for recognition have until Nov. 10 to
contract space. After Nov. 10 there will be no further space
sold in the book and no exceptions will be made.
If any questions develop call Student Publications at
845-2611, ask for Debbie Stallings or Gary Baldasari.
The last goodbye
Endings of Dear John letters also
possess some quality of similarity:
don’t go out with you ever again
“Please think about what I ve said
— I hope you’re not angry, I’m only
trying to be honest ...”
“You’ve overstepped the bound
aries with me and it’s going to take
time for me to feel about you the
way I used to. I guess I just can’t
understand you ...”
“Perhaps it is about time we both
admitted that we do not now and
never will understand each other. I
like to remember our relationship
the way it used to he. In Order to
keep our pleasant memories it
might be better if we ended our re
lationship now while there is still a
little to be salvaged ...”
“I hope you don’t get mad, but
I’m going to just date a bunch of
guys. I’m not interested in steady
dating ...”
“I hope that we will never feel
hatred toward each other. I have
returned your ring to your father
minds readers that conclusion
based on the small 18-letter sample
are speculative at hest.
In order to further the resei
on Dear John letters, Kirk hasdt-
cided to reopen his search for sod
correspondence. Individualshavin;
Dear John letters and who wisliI)
contribute to this study may do®
now or anytime in the future h
sending a photocopy of the letter
with names blackened out to Dor
Kirk, P.O. Box 270, College Si
tion, Texas 77840, or by bringii
them by the Battalion office.
Auto -
Lit
PI
P.O.
Arts
“You move too fast for me. I can t
believe you can love me after only
one date. Perhaps it is best that I
About the Study
Regarding the present Dear John
study, Kirk, the researcher, re-
Presently, Kirk is developing
questionnaire relating to Dear Joy
letters which he will distribute all]
later date.
WANT AD RATES
One day 10c per word
Minimum charge—$1.00
Classified Display
$1.50 per column inch
each insertion
ALL classified ads must be pre-paid.
DEADLINE
3 p.m. day before publication
BATTALION CLASSIFIE
HELP WANTED
OFFICAL NOTICE
TEXAS A6cM UNIVERSITY
OFFICE OF THE DEAN OF ADMISSIONS AND
RECORDS
To be eligible to purchase the Texas A&M ring, an
undergraduate student must have at least one year in
residence and credit for at least ninety-two (92) semester
hours. A year in residence may consist of the Fall and
Spring semesters or one of the above and a full Slimmer
session (both the first and second terms). The hours
passed at the preliminary’ grade report period on Oc
tober 22, 1975 may he used in satisfying this ninety-two
hour requirement. Students qualifying under this regu
lation should leave their names with the ring clerk, room
seven, Richard Coke Building. This should be done
prior to October 22nd in order for all records to be
checked to determine ring eligibility. Students already
having ninety-two (92) completed hours on record may
order at any time. Regular orders are mailed once a
month. Graduate students are eligible to order with
proof (receipt) that they have filed for graduation.
Orders for mid-seiiiester will he taken by the ring clerk
starting October 23rd, 1975, and will continue until
December 2, 1975. Students not placing their orders
during this period may order after final grades are re
leased. All rings must he paid for in full when the order is
placed. Students will save time if they will bring grade
reports along when ready to order. Students who have
Tailed to leave their names in advance will he oskcfel to
orts along when ready to order. Students who have
return later to allow time for records to he checked.
The rings are due to arrive at the Registrar’s Office on
January 28, 1976.
All rings ordered, regardless of whether on October 23,
1975 or December 2, 1975, will arrive at the same time.
The ring clerk is on duty from 8 a.m. to 12 noon and 1
p.m. to 5 p.m. of each week, Monday through Frida)
Hov
>.m. ot each week, Monday through r nday.
in order for records to be checked, orders
must be placed prior to 11:30 a.m. and 4 p.m.
We hope this information will be helpful and extend our
ngratulations
ope t
utula
Edwin H. Cooper, Demi
Admissions and Records
Ring Clerk
The English Proficiency Examination for history
majors will be administered on Oct. 28-29 at 1:00 p.m.
All students who did not make a grade of “C” or better in
En^ish 104 or those who took the course at another
institution and transferred the credit to A&M must take
y th«
History Office, Academic 311, as soon as possible. 29t5
Official Notice
It is the policy of Texas A&M University that in all
aspects of its operations each person shall be considered
for employment or for admission to and participation in
ely or
educational programs and activities solely on the basis of
qualifications, without regard for sex as required by Part
86, the regulation that effectuates Title IX of the Educa
tion Amendrrtents of 1972. 29t3
THE GRADUATE COLLEGE
Final Examination for the Doctoral Degree
Name: Shannon, Anna Marie
Degree: Doctor of Environmental Design in Architec
ture
Record of Study: A CRITICAL STUDY OF AN IN
TERIOR SPACE DESIGN OPTION WITHIN A
PROFESSIONAL ARCHITECTURE DEGREE
PROGRAM.
Time: November 5, 1975 at 2:30 p.m.
Place: Room 310-B in the Architecture Bldg.
George W. Kunze
Dean of the Graduate College
SPECIAL NOTICE
LOST PI PHI?
The Brazos Valley Alum Club
would like to know the where
abouts of any initiated mem
bers of Pi Beta Phi.
Please call
693-0427 or 823-0356.
Service For All
Chrysler Corp. Cars
Body Work — Painting
Free Estimates
HALSELL MOTOR COMPANY,
INC.
Dodge Sales and Sen ice Since 1922
1411 Texas Axe. — 823-8111
ATTENTION!!!
Are you interested in Authentic
Indian Jewelry at REASONA
BLE prices? Then you must
come and see this selection
from the Gallup, N. M. area.
Dealer in this *area for
weekend, beginning 6 p.m.
Friday, Oct. 24th at the AG
GIELAND INN in the lobby.
846-5741. Open at 9 a.m.
Saturday & Sunday, Oct. 25 &
26th.
SPEARMAN
REALTY
A REAL VALUE IN A HOME is wait
ing at 1407 Holleman. 1377 square feet
with three bedrooms, large utility
room, a covered patio with gas grill.
You’re on the bus route to A&M yet
close enough to bike or walk. Gas lights
front yard and back yard and a double
garage. Spearman Homes built it three
years ago. Spearman Realty woidd like
you to see it.
Shown by Appointment.
Call Spearman Realty 822-1534
Marilyn Beverly 823-8445
Bob Bell 693-7519
3(H7
Thorens TD-160C manual turnta
ble with base and dust cover. Ex
cellent condition, $175 or best of
fer.
846-4571
Has the following openings
Receptionist
. Secreturiex
Bonkkce |M*r>
Managers
Salesmen - salar) plus commission
Carpenters
Mechanics
Cooks
l ad Hirers
AND OF COURSE:
Numerous other positions
822-7308
2008 Texas Ave.
Plantation Shopping Centet
MR. GATTI’S
is looking for additional versatile enlff
tamers: guitar, banjo, pianist, singm
duos and groups. We are also offer*
cash award plus contract for theforai
tion of a “Mr. G. Ragtime Band.’Ifia
have talent and would like toaudifa
call 846-4809
for appointment.
RN needed for 3-11 and
shifts. Part time or full time. Cal
or come to Grimes Memorii
jHospital, Navasota, Tx. Askfi
(Mrs. Winklemann, 825-6585
$100 WEEKLY possible mailingdc
lars for firm I represent. Send selfi
dressed stamped envelope: Mary As
Davis, Dept. T.M., 3922 MariamK:
Temple, TX 76501.
Know engines?
Help reassemble m)
Plym. 318. I have tools
Pay 3.30 hr. night
weekend.
G. Flynn, 845-4611.
3-C-Corral. Waiters or waitresses, 5-10 p.m., 3(ty
week or schedule is workable. 846-2033, Lanyli
less.
Upright piano, good sound, $175;
kid stereo, $14; 9x12 pink rug, like
new, $25; beanbag chair; books.
846-3440 (Keep Trying).
i LOST
1
Sell your used air conditioner to White’s
Auto Store or trade on new Catalina home
appliances.
Lost small, black and tan (e
male clog. Rabies tag. lit
Carson at College area
REWARD. 822-4491 evening
19fi9 CB350 Honda, SI50. Call (193-7713.
K-Mart Camera Simp. 14-SOL 1 GOH 200
Telephoto Lens Vov NWwwuVa — 899.SS.
n - CHILD CARE
TUNE-UPS & MINQR REPAIRS AT
YOUR HOME OR OFFICE
Datsun ® Toyota 9' VW
MOBILE METRIC MECHANIC
846-8213 Class of’65.
Will keep any age child for Baylo
game. 80c/hr. if child brings lund
$ 1/hr. if I feed child. 901 Mont*!
OR SALE OR at Southgate, within walking
Itance.
Call 846-5454 after 6. ^
BELAIR
Mobile Home Park
6 minutes from campus
Swimming pool, TV cable, all city
large lots.
• _ utilities, large lots,
’ 822-2326 or 822-2421
Get the Best for Less
394tfn
WBaaagaasaaaamBSBfiaMaaM
Typing. After 5:30, 693-0267.
Typing. Experienced, fast, accurate. All kinds ^
0544.
2 bedroom furnished mobile home on private, shaded
corner lot. $150 month. Couple preferred. 846-3395.
Need four pairs of tickets toT. U. game. Phone693^j|
No reasonable offer refused.
IRISH SETTER PUPS
AKC AND FDSB
CHAMPION HUNTING STOCK
846-3946
3114
Chemical Technician needed. Must have atomic absorp
tion experience. Contact Dr. Presley, Oceanography Professional t^ing—All kinds, IBM Selectric. Ro*
25t7 able rates. 846-6756.
Dept., Room 403. 845-5136.
1927 Buggati replica. Runs super. Looks fantastic.
$4200. Write Steve, 9206Tooley, Houston, 77071. 23t3
AUTO INSURANCE
FOR AGGIES:
Call: George Webb
Farmeis Insurance Group
3400 S. College 823-8051
SOSOLIKS
TY & RADIO SERVICE INC.
Zenith Sales and Services
TV Rental
713 S. MAIN BRYAN 822-2133
HOUSEWIVES
STUDENTS
We need full-time or part-time employees to
work 5 days a weak. Cashiers and counter work.
10a.m. 'til 3 p.m.
11 a.m.'til 5 p.m.
3 p.m.'til 8 p.m.
5 p.m.'til 10 p.m.
If you need a iob and want to work wa will arranga the
hours to fit your schedule. Must be neat and dependable,
Apply in person only, if possible t:30 a.m. 'til 11:00 a.m.
Hourly wage is negotiable.
WHATABURGER
Bryan
1101 Texas
Collage Station
105 Dominik
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