iiiiiiiiiaini!
Another Aggie joke
Board of Directors puts on pretty good
By ALAN KILUNGSWORTH
“Peanuts, popcorn, programs
Get ’em right here. Learn about the
men that shape your school. Pea
nuts, popcorn! The best in town!
“Melbert, can you believe the
number of peo
ple that want to
see our Board of
Directors in ac
tion,’’ I said. “I
guess that a lot of
the students
want to see if
they’re for real.”
“Whataya say
we blow off concepts and take in the
show, Melbert said.
No sooner had he said that when
some guy yelled out, “Two tickets
right here! I’ll trade ’em for a date
ticket to Olivia Newton-John!”
Melbert reached for his back
pocket cause he knew that he
wouldn’t ever get a date to Sbisa,
let alone the concert.
Off we went. The line was
wrapped all the way around Wof
ford Cain dorm. Some guy was
hanging out the window of his room
flexing his muscles. He kept us
pretty entertained.
“There they are!’ someone
screamed up front. Sure enough
from around the corner came a big
shiny limousine. The crowd went
crazy. The applause was continuous
until the directors were in the
building.
The line moved pretty fast from
that point on. The students wanted
to get a good seat and they were
ready for action. Some guy tried to
sell us a poster of Clyde H. Wells
(president of the Board). It was a
picture of him scaling a wall and
carrying an interior design book
written by Pahlmann. It wasn t sel
ling too good.
There was a sign on the door of
the board meeting room that said
“No dirty shoes. No Persian rugs.
No antique dealer — We have all
the junk we can handle ” We really
didn’t get the gist of the sign until
we were inside.
“Wow! Who lives here?’’ Melbert
said.
“I don’t know but he sure must
have some money,” I said.
“I heard a rumor that we re the
ones that paid for this place,’’ Mel
bert remarked. “I sure am glad the
money didn’t go for something
ridiculous.’’
Rap, rap. “I now call this meeting
to order,” said Wells. He cas
ually hung his jacket up so the em
broidered "Pres.” across the back
could be seen by the gallery.
“Spectators, please refrain from
raspberries and don t drop popcorn
on the floor,” he said. “Please re
member to take your all-day suck
ers with you. Autographs will be
signed after the meeting.”
Applause filled the crowded
room.
“The first thing on the agenda is
the North Gate Wall, Wells said.
“All those in favor of spending
$500,000 on a wall that will bring
beauty to our $500,000 wall say T
do.”
The board went crazy. They were
yelling “I do until I thought the
roof would come down. One mem
ber was screaming, “A wall. What a
beautiful idea. We have to keep up
with the Chinese.
The crowd was near riot. They
wanted to hear the move again.
They sensed it would go down as
one of the great votes in our school’s
history.
“I now move we adjourn for cof
fee,” Wells said.
The students seemed let down.
They had had their first taste of de
cision and were ready for more.
We took time to look at the Bill
Davis bus token on display. The
only difference between it and the
one I proposed was that they put a
picture of a long neck on the back
instead of the UC.
“Okay. Let’s get this meeting
back on the road,” Wells said. “The
next measure will be the increase in
building use fees. All those in favor
of an increase say I do. ”
The board once again jumped up
and down yelling “I do. I do. I do.
The crowd was amazed. The
board refused to let discussion come
into the issues. They were sure of
their decisions.
Once again the board adjourned
for coffee.
“Now we have a problem we
need to discuss,” Wells said. “The
University Center looks like a
building. Who wants to pay William
Pahlmann $10,000 a month to see
what he can do about this prob
lem?”
There was no hesitation. The
members jumped up and yelled
that there was a need for this. Some
wanted him to do their houses.
It was said that he didn’t have time
because he was too busy looking for
cows that were willing to be
skinned.
“Listen up,” Wells yelled. “We
have something here that is out of
the ordinary. Who wants to blow off
the wall, the fees or the decoration
and give scholarships instead?”
A hush came over the crowd as
well as the board members. You
could hear the rustle of popcorn
bags.
One of the board members stood
up and said, “I think we should ad
journ the meeting and think about
this motion a little. This is some real
money we re thinking about here
and some time should be spent
studying it before we make any de
cisions.”
The crowd, by this time, was
chanting “Rifity, rifity rif raf. Chif-
ity chifity chit chaf. The motion
was just a little much to ask.
The meeting was adjourned and
Page 2 THE BATTALION
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 1975
show
everyone left glad that the board
hadn’t made any rash decisions.
On Tuesday, Feb. 25, the board
will meet again. The festivities will
begin at 9 a. m. and I hope there will
be as big a turnout as there was at
the last one. Dr. Koldus has extend
ed an invitation to all students and I
hope they will turn out to show
their appreciation for the board’s
progressive moves. Twenty-two
thousand students can t fit in the
board suite, but with some luck and
a good turnout they might move it
to Kyle Field.
Get there early and get your very
own “Back the Board Bunch pos
ter. It’s a collector’s item.
The Board will reorganize the
Building Committee on Feb. 24.
The meeting will be at 10 a.m. Stu
dents should enter the MSC Board
wing from Clark St.
T
The original owners
announce the return of.
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AFTER CHURCH BUFFET
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Also available: Free use of unoccupied meeting areas for local clulis
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Thanks sent by UT student
Editor:
This is to the students of Texas
A&M, particularly those who made
SCONA possible and most particu
larly to Gwen Flynt, Gail Hawley
and Deborah Lindsay. Though I
write this letter as an individual I
sincerely believe that these senti
ments are representative of those of
all the SCONA delegates who re
cently visited your campus.
Td like to start by saying that I
think SCONA has been one of the
most rewarding and enriching ex
periences in my life and that I’m
sure it will stand out in my memory
for many years to come. To say that
the speakers were excellent and that
their topics were interesting and
stimulating is a gross understate
ment. The smoothness with which
the conference took place was as
tounding and a real tribute to the
organizational talents of the
SCONA Executive Committee. It
seemed to me that even the most
minute details were attended to
ahead of time in order to provide
maximum comfort to the delegates.
All of these things were important
and contributed to making SCONA
XX a success. My compulsion to
write this letter, however; is gener
ated by a different factor altogether.
The factor which has caused me to
write this letter is one which is un
controllable. It is not something
which can be manipulated with any
amount of planning. It can only arise
spontaneously. Though I have
commended the SCONA Executive
Committee for an excellent job it is
the friendliness of the student body
which has caused me to write this
letter. There is no way SCONA
could have been responsible for the
many smiles and friendly exchanges
I had with members of the A&M
student body who were strangers to
me. The A&M delegates without
any question went far above and
beyond the call of duty in their ef
forts to make the other delegates
feel welcome. I’m sure my introduc
tion to kicker dancing and square
dancing will remain a part of my
recollection of SCONA XX.
In summary I’d like to extend my
deepest gratitude to all those who
contributed to my experience at
A&M. I’d also like to say that though
I may still laugh at Aggie jokes, I’ll
never be laughing at Aggies. This is
one tea sip who would rather laugh
with you.
G. Scott Johnson
Cbe Battalion
Opinions expressed in The Battcdion are those of the editor
or of the writer of the article and are not necessarily those of
the university administration or the Board of Directors. The
Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting enterprise operated
by students as a university and community newspaper.
Editorial policy is determined by the editor.
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Station, Texas, daily except Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and holiday periods,
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Mail subscriptions are $5.00 per semester; $9.50 per school vear; S10.5(' per
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on request. Address: The Battalion, Room £17. Services Building, College
Station, Texas 77843.
LETTERS POUCY
Letters to the editor should not exceed 300 words and are
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Address correspondence to Listen Up, The Battalion, Room
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Members of the Student Publications Board are: Jim Lindsey, chairman; Dr.
Toni Adair, Dr. R. A. Albanese, Dr. H. E. Hierth, W. C. Harrison, Steve
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Second-Class postage paid at College Station, Texas.
Editor
Greg Moses
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Will Anderson
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LaTonya Perrin
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