THE BATTALION
Page 2 College Station, Texas Wednesday, September 15, 1971
CADET 'SLOUCH by Jim 'Earle
n
C '
“I’ve never expected to get much mail, but this bothers
me! My letter home came back unclaimed and a “no for
warding address” stamp on it!”
Listen up
Lack of
Editor:
Yesterday in the ‘C’ I saw a
new Maggie nearly in tears be
cause a gung-ho CT had yelled
and screamed at her for cutting
across a stretch of goatheads and
crabgrass between the Corps
dorms and the park area. It’s
called Spence Park, and I have
yet to meet anyone outside the
Corps who knows where or what
it is.
What hacks me off is that
these egocentric slobs think that
since they know about this patch
of “sacred grass,” everyone else
should too. This memorial isn’t
important enough to rate a place
on the campus map, but it’s a
good excuse to take out your
frustrations on the sweet young
things, isn’t it, boys? This cam
pus has produced lots of soldiers
and statesmen, but it seems one
side is awfully short on knightly
gentlemen.
Jim Zeman ’72
Though we have no doubt that
these incidents do and will con
tinue to happen, we feel they will
become more rare very quickly.
In this particular instance you
have generalized about a group
of over 2,000 people from one in
cident—very poor logic—Ed.
Editor:
I would like to refer the read
ers to a single but typical inci
dent which I believe tends to low
er A&M as a progressive insti
tution. I refer to the Helen Red
dy and John Denver concert
gentlemen
where John Denver, during the
course of his performance, made
mention of the two “unusually
large and rough women.” The
immediate response from the au
dience was usual; “they must
have been Maggies.” What was
meant by Denver to be a comical
joke, turned out to be an embar
rassing situation for those per
sons with dates from A&M.
It is sad that the girls attend
ing A&M, whether single, mar
ried, or engaged have to be the
object of jokes which are often
degrading.
When the word Maggie is men
tioned on campus, it seems to
infer that a girl is either ugly,
married, or that something is
wrong with her. This attitude,
plus the fact that the majority
of sweethearts and dates are
“imported” from other schools
tends to make the situation more
uncomfortable and leads the fe
male A&M student to question
her presence and acceptance here.
There was a time when A&M
had even fewer girls than it has
now and the guys griped about it.
Now that we are gradually build
ing a girl population the guys
are still griping; not about get
ting them but about having them.
A simple solution would be for
the guys here to start treating
the females with a little bit more
maturity and respect, or better
yet maybe the girls ought to pick
up and head for better grounds.
Karl Cook
Right on.—Ed.
claimed
Editor:
The Texas A&M physical edu
cation department is not yet able
to accept its role as a student
outlet. On this campus there are
few outlets available to students
other than school work, after
which a student must sit around.
The physical education depart
ment doesn’t allow access to its
facilities.
Unfortunately I’m a proponent
of those lesser known sports
(i.e. handball, fencing, basket
ball, etc.) which do have space
allotted for them on this cam
pus. The unfortunate part is
that I can’t use those facilities.
On weekends those facilities are
open a total of only eight hours
and fencing is permanently
closed. Why can’t available fa
cilities be utilized ? Is there a
rule that P.E. is not for per
sonal physical education? Is P.E.
for students or for administra
tors ?
This Saturday, September 11,
over forty people were turned
away from Deware during the
time it was scheduled to be open.
Forty today, how many tomor
row, and on future tomorrows?
And why only 1:30-5:30? P.E. is
for students who try to live here
but I’m not sure we can.
Mark S. Abramovitz
The required Physical Educa
tion office said that shortage of
personnel has contributed to this
problem. They hope to have
more on their staff — making for
better hours. —Ed.
Waterbeds at the Keyhole
$39.95
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STEREO CITY
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TRAVEL SERVICE
AIRLINE SCHEDULE INFORMATION
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DOMESTIC AND INTERNATIONAL
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103
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1016 Texas Avenue Bryan
SGT.
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away
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photc
Bob Robinson
The B-CS Independent Zoo
Editor’s note — This is the
first of a weekly column by
Bob Robinson treating the
events of A&M and College Sta
tion in a satirical manner.
The bear rumbled and growled
his way out of his cave and paused
for several seconds to stare at
the dumb little kids staring at
him. One of them tossed a peanut,
for cryin’ out loud.
The bear growled an obscenity
under his breath as he waddled
down to the stream and searched
for food. He swiped at a fish,
missing it but sending a long
spray of water out through the
fence and onto the kids.
The whistle blew.
The bear got up. After a couple
hours of rest, he felt even grump
ier than usual, which made him
feel pretty good. The zoo was
closed and the two-legged mon
sters were gone.
The whistle blew again, which
meant he had only five minutes.
He dived into the water and swam
to the other side.
He was the last to arrive, as
usual, and the only one wet, as
usual. Everyone turned as he
sloshed down the center aisle of
the huge auditorium, reserved for
the General Assembly, and up
onto the stage with the other
members of the Five.
The lion called the meeting to
order with a roar that shook the
foundation of the old building.
The bear couldn’t help but feel
admiration for the old cat, who
had one of the biggest mouths
Bulletin
Tonight
Hillel Club will meet in the
Hillel Building, 800 Jersey St.,
College Station at 6 for an intro
ductory picnic.
Intervarsity Christian Fellow
ship will meet at 7:27 in room
146 of the Physics building.
International Student Associa
tion meets at 7 in room 321 of the
Physics building. All foreign stu
dents are invited.
Rio Grande Valley Hometown
Club meets behind the Academic
building at 7:30.
Thursday
Panhandle Home Town Club
in the whole zoo.
“We have something very im
portant to discuss tonight,” he
roared. “Representative Man has
a new form of government to
discuss.”
The lion turned to the man and
nodded his shaggy head. The man
stood up and pulled a sheaf of
papers from his brief case. He
cleared his throat.
“The governing council of the
B-CS Independent Zoo is made up
of 673 members, each represent
ing his species and elected by his
own kind to the one seat reserved
for that species. Now, what I had
in mind is to have a general elec
tion in which everybody votes for
ten councilmen. The ten candi
dates receiving the highest num
ber of votes will serve three year
terms, regardless of his district or
species.”
“Any comment?” the lion ask
ed and the assembly broke into
pandemonium. It took three long
roars to quiet it down, with the
bear almost rolling in ecstacy.
“I’d like to say one more thing,”
the man said. “A lot more would
be accomplished with this new
system because the numbers are
fewer. It’s also, ahem, more dem
ocratic.”
“What about the other zoos
in Texas?” the lion asked. How
are they run?”
“Most are run by the represen
tative form of democracy that I
have suggested,” the man said.
“And the other states? Have
you checked into that?”
Board
will meet in room 3C of the Me
morial Student Center at 7:30 to
organize.
Student Senate will meet in
the Library Conference room at
7:30.
Pre-vet Society meets in room
100 of the Chemistry building at
7:30.
Cepheid Variable Science Fic
tion Club meets in room 146 of
the Physics Building at 7:30.
Young Americans for Freedom
meets at old City Hall, 101
Church Street, College Station
at 7:30.
“No, I can’t say that I have.”
The lion nodded. “I guess you’re
right,” he said. “There’s no real
poirit in checking outside of Tex
as.” After a brief pause, he turn
ed to the General Assembly. “Any
discussion from the assembly?”
The roar was deafening.
The motion passed, of course.
Nobody heard from or about
the bear for a long time after he
was defeated in the general elec
tion. Four humans were elected,
the lion, the pig, the elephant, a
monkey and (heaven help us) two
snakes. There was quite a bit of
speculation as to why four hu
mans had been chosen to serve
on the council. A few said the
election was fixed, but most said
it was because humans had ac
cess to knowledge that the zoo
needed and the animals normally
didn’t have.
The bear lumbered out of his
cave the following spring and
dropped his bombshell. He filed
suit against the four humans for
violation of the portion of the
constitution that said no human
could serve in an elective capa
city on a control board of a city
or state supported function and
still receive pay for his civilian
work.
The passage didn’t make much
sense, but it didn’t have to. It
hadn’t even been enforced since
the constitution was signed. No
difference. It was there. It was
a catch. . .
The humans were ordered be
fore District Judge Filmington
Randall MaLarky of the 1st dis
trict court July 1st, case num
ber 4332, later known as “The
Bear and the Four Humans.”
An hour later, the humans
walked out of court, paycheck
less.
The defendants appealed and
for some reason, so did the bear.
They never did figure that one
out.
Observers were beginning to
wonder who was the plaintiff and
who was the defendant. It was
extremely confusing.
In the meantime, humans all
over the state resigned their po
sitions.
The bear chuckled over all this
as he drained his third bottle of
quinine water and belched.
Cbe Battalion
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EDITOR HAYDEN WHITSETT
Managing Editor Doug Dilley
News Editor Sue Davis
Sports Editor j 0 hn Curylo
Assistant Sports Editor Bill Henry
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J ■ T IB 1 T~~ > I MW
PEANUTS
NOU) THAT W ANP I ARE
THROUGH, WHY P0 V0U KEEP
CALLING ME ON THE PHONE ?
By Charles M. Schulz;
I dipn't call you...
^YOU CALLEP ME l
IT
V HOW COME
YOU NEVER GET
A WRONG
NUMBER WHEN
YOU N6EP0NE?