Averell Harriman, left, and Llewellyn Thompson, center, of the United States and North
Vietnam’s Xuyan Thuy, right are scheduled to meet in Paris in preliminary negotations
looking toward a peace conference on Vietnam. (AP Wirephoto)
A&M Meteorologists Want
To Know Why It Rains
Don’t be alarmed, folks, if
you’re sprinkled this month with
a few icicles—Christmas tree
variety.
Santa’s not on an early ram
page; it’s merely Texas A&M
meteorologists at work, enhanc
ing their knowledge of what
makes it rain.
Dr. Bernice Ackerman, associ-
f+M On Campus
with
MaxShulman
(By the author of “Rally Round the Flag, Boys!",
‘Dobie Gillis," etc.)
FROM THE HALLS OF PROTOZOA
This column, normally a treasure house of twinkly quips
and slapdash japery, has now been appearing in your
campus newspaper for fourteen years, and if I have
learned one thing in these fourteen long years, it is not to
try to be funny in the last column of the semester. With
final exams looming obscenely close, you don’t want jokes;
you want help.
So today, foregoing levity, I give you a quick cram
course in the subject you are all flunking. I refer, of
course, to biology.
Biology is divided into several phylla, or classes. First
is the protozoa, or one-celled animal. Protozoa can be
taught simple things like bringing in the newspaper, but
when shopping for pets it is best to look for animals with
at least two cells, or even four if your yard has a fence
around it.
Another popular class of animals is the periphera—a
shadowy category that borders often on the vegetable.
Take, for example, the sponge. The sponge is definitely an
animal. The wash-cloth, on the other hand, is definitely not.
Next we come to the arthropoda, or insects. Most people
find insects unattractive, but actually there is exquisite
beauty in the insect world if you trouble to look. Take, for
instance, the lovely insect poems of William Cullen
Sigaioos—Tumbling Along with the Tumbling Tumblebug
and Fly Gently, Sweet Aphid and Gnats My Mother
Caught Me. Mr. Sigafoos, alas, has been inactive since the
invention of DDT.
Our next category is the mollusca—lobsters, shrimp, and
the like. Lobsters are generally found under rocky projec
tions on the ocean bottom. Shrimps are generally found in
a circle around a small bowl containing cocktail sauce.
Personna Super Stainless Steel Blades are generally
found at any counter where Personna Super Stainless
Steel Blades are sold.
I mention Personna Blades because the makers of Per
sonna Blades pay me to write this column, and they are
inclined to get edgy if I neglect to mention their product.
Some get double edgy and some single, for Personna
Blades come both in double edge style and Injector style.
Mind you, it is no burden for me to mention Personna,
for it is a blade that shaves quickly and cleanly, slickly and
keenly, scratchlessly and matchlessly. It is a distinct pleas
ure to shave with Personna Blades and to write about
them but sometimes, I confess, I find it difficult to work
the commercial into a column. Some years ago, for ex
ample, I had the devil’s own time working a Personna plug
into a column about Alexander the Great. The way I finally
managed it was to have Alexander say to the Oracle at
Delphi, “Oracle, I have tasted all the world’s pleasures,
yet I am not content. Somehow I know there is a joy I have
missed.” To which the Oracle replied, “Yes, Alexander,
there is such a joy—namely Personna Blades—but, alas for
you, they will not be invented for another 2500 years.”
Whereupon Alexander fell into such a fit of weeping that
Zeus finally took pity and turned him into a hydrant . . .
Well sir, there is no question I sold a lot of Personnas with
this ingenious commercial, but the gang down at the
American Academy of Arts and Letters gave me a mighty
good razzing, you may be sure.
But I digress. Back to biology and the most advanced
phyllum of all—the chordata, or vertebrates. There are
two kinds of vertebrates: those with vertical backbones
and those with horizontal. Generally it is easy to tell them
apart. A fish, for instance, has a horizontal backbone, and
a man has a vertical backbone. But what if you run into
a fish that swims upright or a man who never gets out of
the sack? How do you tell them apart? Science struggled
with this sticky question for years before Sigafoos of
M.I.T came up with his brilliant solution: offer the crea
ture a pack of Personna Blades. If it is a fish, it will refuse.
If it is homo sapiens, it will accept—and the more sapient,
the quicker.
And now you know biology. And now, for the fourteenth
time, aloha.
* * * ©1968, Max Shulman
The makers of Personna, The Electro-Coated blade,
have enjoyed bringing you another year of Old Max.
From us too, aloha.
ate professor heading the icicle
dropping phase of a series of air
borne meteorolgical tests, said her
prime objective is determination
of wind variations in the vicinity
of clouds.
She said university weathermen
will be dropping packets—each
containing as many as a million
tinsels varying in length up to
two inches—to see how the ma
terial disperses in the air.
The packets open when dropped
from the plane, releasing the
icicles which are then tracked by
radar on the A&M campus, Dr.
Ackerman explained.
“Initially, the material shows
up on radar as one big spot,
almost like the ‘echo’ of an air
plane,” she noted. “As the par
ticles spread out, they look more
like a cloud.”
The pattern of the falling tin
sels helps provide wind variation
and velocity data.
Use of tin foil in aircraft-radar
operations is an old trick. Air
Force pilots have used it to con
fuse enemy radar operators dur
ing raids.
Texas A&M’s first test was
conducted in clear skies to check
the technique. Dr. Ackerman said
the experiment produced “excel
lent results.”
“When suitable weather condi
tions exist, we will drop two or
three packets in the near vicinity
of a cloud and simply track the
particles,” she noted. “From this,
we will make certain inferences
as to the motion of the air, and
the differences in speeds of wind
and adjacent clouds.”
This information, the lady pro
fessor added, will be correlated
inside the cloud for data such as
temperature, humidity and water
content.
Results of the icicle-dropping
experiments should add some
weight to one of two theories
about wind - cloud interactions:
that most of the wind merely
moves through the clouds, or that
most of the wind moves around
the clouds.
The two theories result in dif
ferent concepts of cloud develop
ment and different patterns and
amounts of water distribution
within the clouds, she observed.
Dr. Ackerman noted that the
Federal Aviation Agency office in
Houston will be notified prior to
each experiment to avoid any pos
sible radar confusion.
Most of the tests will be con
ducted over an area between
Houston and College Station,
using a twin-engine aircraft fur
nished by the National Center for
Atmospheric Research at Boulder,
Colo.
PARDNER
You’ll Always Win
The Showdown
When You Get
Your Duds Done
At
CAMPUS
CLEANERS
Indiana Primary
RFK, HHH Get First Tryout
WASHINGTON <A>) — Sen.
Robert F. Kennedy and Vice
President Hubert H. Humphrey
get their first tryouts at the
polls Tuesday in their quest for
the Democratic presidential nomi
nation.
The New York senator is a
formal contestant in two of the
day’s five primaries, while Hum
phrey is represented in only one
but is a standout background fig
ure in the other.
The big test is in Indiana.
There Humphrey is not a candi
date of record but neither Hum
phrey nor Gov. Roger D. Branigin
has not been notably successful in
silencing talk about Branigin’s
favorite-son race as a Humphrey
front.
INDIANA also provides the
first full-scale trial of voting
booth strength between Kennedy
and Sen. Eugene J. McCarthy of
Minnesota, the third Democratic
White House aspirant. And the
votes of both will be measured
against the shadow candidacy of
Humphrey.
Former Vice President Richard
M. Nixon is alone on the Indiana
Republican ballot. But his back
ers concentrated on opposition to
a campaign by the Democrats for
crossover ballots that could cut
into Nixon’s showing as a vote
getter.
THE SECOND and more direct
Kennedy-Humphrey collision is in
the District of Columbia where
two slates of candidates for dele
gate to the party’s national con
vention are running for the vice
president while one slate backs
GUIDELINES GIVEN
ON WHAT’S ART
TEMPLE, Ariz. (A*) — Arizona
State University officials have set
forth stringent new gguidelines on
what constitutes an art exhibit
after closing one recently.
Gilbert Cady, the school vice
president, said an ebhixit on the
mall was closed, after health offi
cials declared that a decayed
horse’s head, which attracted nu
merous flies, posed a serious
health hazard to the entire cam
pus.
Kennedy.
On the Republican side in the
national capital there is a con
test between an agreed regular
slate divided among backers bf
Nixon, Gov. Nelson A. Rockefeller
of New York—the second major
avowed GOP candidate—and a
rival group, running together but
still split in allegiance to Nixon,
Rockefeller and Gov. Ronald
Reagan of California, who still
talks about himself as only a
favorite son.
There are 23 Democratic and
nine Republican convention votes
at stake.
The other primaries are in
Ohio, Florida and Alabama, with
only Democrats involved in Ala-
Special School
For Policemen
Set May 20-21
A special school for law en
forcement officers in the use of
scientific aids for controlling
civil disturbances is set May 20-21
at Texas A&M.
Ira Scott, coordinator of police
training, said 25 policemen and
campus security officers from all
areas of the state are expected
for the course at A&M’s Research
Annex west of Bryan.
Principal lecturer will be Harry
Wells, an employee of federal
laboratories at Saltsburg, Pa.
Wells is a former superintendent
in charge of police training and
riot control in Hong Kong.
Assisting Wells will be David
Betts, owner of the Safety and
Enforcement Equipment Supply
Company in Dallas. Betts is a
former staffer of A&M‘s Police
Training Division.
Scott said the speakers will
show officers how to handle
scientific aids for activating
smoke bombs and tear gas effec
tively to quell disturbances with
out causing undue injury.
A&M’s Police Training Divi
sion is a branch of the Engineer
ing Extension Service.
bama. In all those cases the bear
ing of the outcome on presidential
politics is questionable.
In Indiana McCarthy and Ken
nedy kept going under a full head
of steam Monday. But Branigin
spent most of the day in his
office.
OBVIOUSLY their main target
was a reportedly big percentage
of the Hoosier voters who are
waiting right up to ballot mark
ing time to make up their minds.
Kennedy appears as the man
with most at stake, relying on
Indiana to get his nomination
drive fully off the ground. And
his backers appear the most
worried about the possibility of a
big crossover of Republican votes.
McCarthy has been discounting
Indiana’s real significance.
INDIANA HAS 63 Democratic
convention votes and 26 Republi
can but their apportionment will
be decided later. They may go
to the statewide primary winner
for the first ballot or be divided
among the districts.
Humphrey stayed away from
the Indiana campaign. Sunday he
was in Chicago where he failed
to pick up an endorsement from
Illinois Gov. Otto Kerner but did
get a boost from Chicago Demo
cratic committeeman Jacob Ar-
vey. Monday he was in New York
for a meeting with businessmen
backers and returned to Washing
ton for a speech to a labor group.
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