At The Movies by **«««*
From the first shooting to the
last knifing, “The President’s
Analyst” is a movie made for
Aggies. It’s great for taking out
hostilities.
There are slow moments, of
course. But those, too, seem to
have Aggies in mind. For ex
ample, when James Coburn and
a hippie female named “Snow
White” horizontally smell the
flowers. “I’m now. Love now,”
she says, between Aggie wildcats.
But during the NOW episode,
the action picks up. Spies creep
up from their native lands into
the field of blossoms. Then, in
turn, four of them are murdered,
with a Russian pitchforking the
final victim.
NO BLOOD, no sadism. Just
five corpses, all in a row, the
Russian dressed as an American
farmer, standing next to them,
his steel gray eyes glinting into
the bare bottom of Snow White.
Which is, incidentally, snow-
white.
One great point in the movie
is a satirical stab on the average
American family. Everyone in
Washington is after James Co
burn by now; he knows too much.
He seeks escape with a family
visiting the White House.
But what he gets is anything
but escape. He walks from a car
with “Total Sound” into a pink
living room with red trim, deco
rated by the little woman. He sees
twenty or thirty plants, knick-
knacks, etc., in the living room,
all of which are plastic, made by
the husband in his workshop. He
drinks draft beer straight from
the keg, not from any old-fash
ioned bottle, and sees a counter
completely covered with electric
mixers, blenders, shakers, and
cutters.
HE THEN feels that he may
have made a mistake. Perhaps
this is a not-too-average Ameri
can household. He then tries to
call Washington, and is recorded
on a junior spy-kit by the aver
age American son.
While drinking the beer, he is
terrified to see the son walk in
with a pistol as big as he. The
effect increases when he hears
the father rebuke the son: “Now,
son, you know that's my car gun.
My house gun is in the house. My
workshop gun is in the workshop,
and so on. So go put it back in
the glove compartment, please.”
Just like that. Please.
The crowning blow on the now-
paranoid Coburn comes after Mr.
and Mrs. Average American have
treated him to a dinner at
Chink’s. More spies try to jump
the three. The little mother’s face
lights up, for she has been taking
Karate lessons at the police sta
tion for two years, and now she
gets a chance to use it.
THE HUSBAND, being the
mild-mannered mustachioed, citi
zen that he is, immediately de
clares the right to bear arms. He
pulls out his overcoat gun and
starts mowing down muggers.
Wifey throws two of them
through a window as he reloads.
James Coburn then runs from a
swath of poison darts, bullets, and
piano wire, into the arms of a
hippie musical group. That’s
where we came in.
The movie does not have great
acting. James Coburn portrays
the same character he did in the
“Our Man Flint” and “Waterhole
*3” films. But the editing is
better here, the satire is overflow
ing, and the humor is really
humor.
What more can you expect from
a movie made without the consent
of the Federal Bureau of Regula
tions or the Ctentral Enquiring
Agency?
W E A T H E R
Wednesday — Cloudy, winds
Northerly, 10-20 m.p.h., light
freezing rain late evening. High
36, low 26.
Thursday — Cloudy, winds Eeast-
erly 10-15 m.p.h., occasional light
rain. High 41, low 34.
MARCH 5
DEADLINE
FOR ALL
GROUP
PICTURES
FOR 1968
AGGIELAND
AGGIE DEN
Billiards - Pin Ball
Magazines - Novelties
Bumper Stickers
Party Records
Pin-Up Girls
Magic Supplies
Open 8 a. m. till 2 p. m.
7 Days A Week
AGGIE DEN
“The Home of the Aggies”
(Next to Loupot’s)
S' \
PARDNER
You’ll Always Win
The Showdown
When You Get
Your Duds Done
At
CAMPUS
CLEANERS
On Campus
(By the author of “Rally Round the Flag, Boys!”,
“Dobie Gillis” etc.)
with
MaxShulman
MORNINGS AT SEVEN...AND
THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO
ABOUT IT
Any man who says morning is the best time of day is
either a liar or a meadow lark.
There is only one way to make morning enjoyable:
sleep till noon. Failing that, the very best you can do is to
make morning tolerable. This, I am pleased to report, is
possible if you will follow three simple rules:
1. Shave properly.
By shaving properly I mean shaving quietly. Don’t use
a blade that whines and complains. Morning being a time
of clanger and anger, use a blade that neither clangs nor
angs. Use a blade that makes no din on your chin, no
squeak on your cheek, no howl on your jowl, no rip on
your lip, no waves while it shaves. Use, in short, Personna
Super Stainless Steel Blades.
I have been shaving for 71 years (not too impressive
until one considers that I am 49 years old) and I am here
to tell you that the quietest blade I know is Personna. I not
only shave with Personna, but I also admire it. Old vir
tues reappear in Personna; old values are reborn. Per
sonna is a modest blade, an undemanding blade. Personna
does not rasp and tug, yelling, “Hey, lookit me!” No, sir,
not Personna! Silently, respectfully, unobtrusively, Per
sonna whisks your whiskers with nary a whisper. It
shucks your soil and stubble without toil and trouble.
Why, you hardly know it’s there, this well-bred Personna
blade, this paragon of punctilio.
Moreover, this crown of the blade-maker’s art, this
epitome of epidermal efficacy, is available both in Double
edge style and Injector style. Do your kisser a favor: get
some.
2. Breakfast properly.
I assert that a Personna shave is the best of all possible
shaves. But I do not assert that a Personna shave, brac
ing though it may be, is enough to prepare you for the
hideous forenoon ahead. After shaving you must eat an
ample breakfast.
Take, for example, the case of Basil Metabolism, a soph
omore at VM.I. Basil, knowing there was to be an inspec
tion by the Commandant one morning, prepared by stor
ing up energy. He recognized that coffee and juice would
not sustain him, so he had a flitch of bacon, a clutch of
eggs, a batch of bagels, a notch of ham, a bunch of butter,
a swatch of grits, a hutch of honey, a patch of jelly, a
thatch of jam, a twitch of pepper, and a pinch of salt.
The idea was right; the quantities, alas, were not. When
the Commandant arrived, Basil, alas, was so torpid that
he could not raise his bloated arm in a proper salute. He
was, of course, immediately shot by a firing squad. Today,
a perforated man, he earns a meagre living as a collander
in Cleveland.
3. Read properly.
Always read the paper at breakfast. It inhibits bolting.
But do not read the front page. That is full of bad, acid
making news. Read a more pleasant part of the paper—
the Home and Garden section, for example.
For instance, in my local paper, The Westport Peasant,
there is a delightful column called “Ask Harry Home-
spun” which fairly bristles with bucolic wisdom and
many an earthy chuckle. I quote some questions and
answers:
Q: I am thinking of buying some power tools. What
should I get first?
A: Hospitalization.
Q: How do you get rid of moles ?
A: Pave the lawn.
Q: What is the best way to put a wide car in a narrow
garage?
A: Butter it.
Q: What do you do for elm blight?
A: Salt water gargle and bed rest.
Q: What can I do for dry hair?
A: Get a wet hat.
* * * © 1968, Max Shulman
Personna’s partner in shaving comfort is Burma-
Shave, regular or menthol. Together, Personna and
Burma-Shave make a considerable contribution toward
forenoon survival.
THE BATTALION
Tuesday, February 13, 1968 College Station, Texas Page 3
SENATE TOPICS by jerry Campbell
On Dec. 12-14, members of the
Texas A&M student body donated
blood to the soldiers in Vietnam
through Blood Services of Hous
ton.
IT WAS learned after the do
nation of the blood that the De
partment of Defense has a policy
at the present time whereby they
request that any blood contrib
uted for the benefit of the Armed
Forces actually be placed in ci
vilian community channels until
it is needed by the military. At
the time of the blood drive it was
the understanding of the student
who contributed that the blood
would go directly to Vietnam.
Bill Carter, vice - president of
the Student Senate, and Dean
James P. Hannigan, dean of stu
dents, placed a call to Lt. Col.
Richard Krakauer, chairman for
the Department of Defense con
cerning all blood programs. He
explained that the Department of
Defense was extremely gratified
by the gestures made by indi
viduals and organizations, includ
ing the Texas A&M University
students who have contributed
blood for or as a memorial to
American soldiers in Vietnam.
HE EXPLAINED that the De
partment of Defense has con
tracts with the Red Cross and
with the Association of U.S.
Blood Banks which can be acti
vated at any time if the military
should run low on the supply of
blood available from its own re
sources..
Under such circumstances, if
they activate the contract they
could obtain from Blood Services
of Houston (to which the Aggies
contributed for Vietnam) the sup
plies of blood for Vietnam. At
present all military personnel
who go to Vietnam are permitted
to volunteer blood immediately
upon arrival in that area. This
is desirable since later they
might have contracted malaria,
hepatitis or some other illness
which would make it undesirable
for them to donate blood.
LT. COL. KRAKAVER assured
us that at the present time this
arrangement was generating all
the blood needed and that if there
were any shortages from time to
time they were strictly local and
could be cured by transferring
blood from one hospital in Viet
nam to another.
Several alternatives were avail
able and were considered by the
Executive Committee of the Stu
dent Senate last Thursday. The
following action was taken: By
a unanimous decision the Execu
tive Committee of the Student
Senate felt that those who gave
the blood would want their con
tributions to go specifically to the
wounded in hospitals in Vietnam.
THE STUDENT SENATE re
ceived a check for $2,562 for its
blood contributions. This money
will be contributed to the U.S.O.
and will be allocated to Vietnam
and will be identified as a contri
bution by the A&M student body
for the benefit of the members of
the U. S. Armed Forces in Viet-
TODAY
The Lubbock - South Plains
Hometown Club will meet in the
Memorial Student Center at 8
p.m. for the club picture.
The Pre-Medical Pre-Dental So
ciety will meet in Room 113 of
the Biological Science Building at
7:30 p.m.
The Entomology Wives Club
will meet at 8 p.m. at 104-B Sul
phur Springs Road.
The Society of Automotive En
gineers will meet at 7:30 p.m. in
Room 303 of the Mechanical En
gineering Building to discuss the
Houston Field Trip.
The Society of Automotive En
gineers will meet in Room 2-B of
the Memorial Student Center at
7:30 p.m. to discuss the Houston
Pro-Am.
The Texas A&M Student Chap
ter of the American Meteorologi
cal Society will meet in front of
the Memorial Student Center at
nam. It will be used directly for
the wounded American soldiers
there.
A great deal of thanks goes to
those who contributed toward this
great cause. It is another way of
realizing the great concern and
feeling that the students of this
university have for their country.
7 p.m. for the club picture.
The Skin & Scuba Diving Club
will meet at 7:30 p.m. in Room
305 of Goodwin Hall for the elec
tion of officers.
WEDNESDAY
The Bell County A&M Home
town Club will meet on the front
steps of the Memorial Student
Center at 7:15 p.m. for the club
picture.
FINAL
MAKE - UP
Pictures For 1968
Aggieland
All Seniors and
Graduate Students
Thru Feb. 17.
University Studio
Bulletin Board
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