Page 2
College Station, Texas
Thursday, August 18, 1966
THE BATTALION
The Rhyme
Of The
Ancient Student
CANTO I
(CHILDE HOTARD’S
JOURNEY TO HIS
WATERLOO)
It is an ancient student
And he speaketh now to you:
Never take the summer English
course
That precedes Three Two Two.
The classroom door was open
wide
And through it I did go.
The class was met, the prof was
set,
And I heard a “Ho, Ho, Ho!”
The man up front did start to
speak
“We have a book” quoth he.
“And we will read it page by
page—”
I then got up to leave.
He held me with his glittering
eye,
He then began to quote,
Lines! Poems! The whole damn
book!
I started taking note.
The man was here, the man was
there!
Upon the table top!
He cracked and growled and
roared and howled
His brow he had to mop!
At length did come a fiendish
thing
(It had a pointed tale)
With fiery parts—three and a
score!
As though it came from Hell.
It sat before me on my desk
And I was at a loss.
I thought and thought, but noth
ing came—
Was this my Albatross?
The midnight oil had burned till
late,
And yet I blew the quiz.
What had I done the night
before ?
Omphaloscepsis ?
Oh, I had done a hellish thing,
And it would work me woe:
But all averred, I’d helped the
curve
And all the class did glow.
What Nerve, said they, to help
the curve
And all the class did glow.
All in a gray and cold damp room
The bloody prof, at Nine,
Starts in with Burns and Shelley
.... Moore!
(Go Fetch Me a Pint o’ Wine!)
Poetry, poetry, everywhere
And allour minds do shrink
Poetry, poetry, everywhere
(Quick, Pedro, a drink)
A racey cat was called DON
JUAN,
And eulogised as the true one.
With women, he’s a true James
Bond,
Became burnt out, while a new
one.
A Spanish minor, I called him
JUAN,
Now what’s this rhyming jazz,
true one?
CANTO II
(CHILDE HOTARD PLAYS
PHOENIX)
And then there came a second
quiz
The first, I think, was harder.
The day did come to get them
back—
Was I again the martyr?
“Oh, pass me, pass me, mighty
hunter!
Don’t let me score so low!”
“Ha ha!” quoth he, “full plain
I see,
You’re ‘fraid of my crossbow!”
Our throats were dry, our lips
were parched,
The time had come at last,
I saw my quiz, I bit my tongue,
And cried, “I PASSED! I
PASSED!”
Farewell, Farewell! but this I tell
To ye who take exam:
He passes well who studies well,
So therefore, Cram! Cram!
CRAM!
He passes best who studies best
All poems, both great and small
For the dear prof who giveth
quiz
HE ASKS ABOUT THEM ALL!
JOHN HOTARD
CADET SLOUCH
by Jim Earle
AM
> &)
CtCm
“ no I haven’t figured th’ quiz part yet, but you’ll hafta
admit it has market appeal!”
Robinson’s Crusoe
The Industrious
Campus ‘Genius’
At Work Againius
By BOB ROBINSON
Do you remember some two
hundred years ago when a man
performed an experiment with
a kite? Of course not. You
weren’t there. But you do re
member reading in history books
about this great feat, don’t you ?
Well, this was the beginning of
a long series of scientific dis
coveries, each one built on the
previous, toward the betterment
of mankind in this great nation.
Then, in the next century,
another great invention came
about in another field—the steam
engine. Actually, it was invented
by a man in America, named
Alburt Schwurtz, but some bloke
in England stole the idea and
came up with a much better pro
motional technique, taking all of
the credit for himself. Alburt
died a heartbroken, bitter old
man. Such are the trials and
tribulations of genius.
At any rate, from these points
of beginning, the improvements
came fast and furious, sometimes
reaching the rate of four or five
a year. We had the Stanley
Steamer, the telegraph, the
Model-T, the radio, the Packard,
and the TV. All of these scien
tific wonders are a result of the
collective hard work of many
geniuses. All of this, just to
make life for us easier and more
entertaining.
Not too long ago, in the fifties
to be exact, I decided to get into
the automobile industry. I went
to work for a large firm as
water boy on the assembly line.
Through hard work and long
hours, I worked my way up, until
finally I became chief designer
and engineer. I said to myself:
“Here is your chance. Take that
chance and put your ideas to
work. You too, can become a
famous inventor if you put your
mind to it.” So, I did. I worked
day and night with no sleep,
nothing to eat. For three long
months, I did this, and finally,
just before a nervous break
down, I did it. My invention
would corner the market. It
would make me rich. The Edsel
was going to make me famous.
After I was retired from the
automotive industry for reasons
of mental instability, I went to
Hollywood. There I took up
hack-writing for the TV indus
try. Due to my many years of
college (I’m back now to receive
a degree) I was called upon to
write a TV show for the intel
lectually inclined. I knew this
would be hard, but I was confi
dent that I could measure up to
it. After many months of deep
thought, I finally came up with
an answer. I’d write a TV series
that could be matched by none.
A series for which Thomas
Edison and the other forerunners
of the TV industry would be
proud. It’d be the forerunner of
educational TV. I think I’ll call
it “Batman.”
Services Held
For Smith
Wayne Smith, 46, member of
the Texas A&M staff since 1947,
died at 3 a.m. Tuesday in a
Bryan hospital after an extended
illness.
Funeral services were held
at 10 a.m. today from the
Memorial Funeral Home Chapel
in Bryan with the Rev. Charles
Whitten, pastor of the Wellborn
Baptist Church, officiating. Buri
al is planned in College Station’s
City Cemetery.
Smith was bom March 9, 1920
in Franklin, Texas. He joined
Texas A&M’s staff in 1947 and
was named manager of the
Memorial Student Center’s snack
bar facilities when the center
was opened in 1950. He became
food production manager in 1952
and had managed the bowling
and games department since 1960.
He served as advisor for various
student organizations at Texas
A&M including the Student
Senate.
Smith is survived by his wife,
Mrs. Minnie Smith; a son, Alan;
two daughters, Cynthia and
Karen; the parents, Mr. and Mrs.
W. B. Smith of Bryan; two
sisters, Mrs. P. D. Brunette of
Beaumont and Mrs. W. C. Bohn
of Waco, and a grandmother,
Mrs. F. Carpenter of Calvert.
The Smith’s reside at - 609
Maryem in College Station. He
was a member of the Wellborn
Baptist Church.
THE BATTALION
Opinions expressed in The Battalion
are those of the student writers only. The
Battalion is a non tax-supported non
profit, self-supporting educational enter
prise edited and operated by students as
a university and community newspaper.
Joe Bus«;
Arts ; Dr.
The Associated Press is
other?
origin
entitled exclusively to the use for
publication of all news dispatches credited to it or not
repp
otherwise credited in the paper and local news of spontaneous
.igli
ser
paid at
gin published herein,
atter herein are also
Second-Class postage
Rights of republieation of all other
College Station, Texas.
JLVUUGX XTL. KS l XV, v
Donald, College of
Engineering: Dr.
ollege
Scien
; JJr. J
; Dr. J. G. McGuire, College
Robert S. Titus, College of Veterinary
rank A. Mc-
of
tigineering; Dr. Robert S. Titus, College of Veterinai
Medicine; and Dr. A. B. Wooten, College of Agricultur
The Battalion, a student newspaper at Texas A&M is
published in College Station, Texas daily except Saturday,
Sunday, and Monday, and holiday periods, September through
May, and once a week during summer school.
MEMBER
The Associated Press, Texas Press Association
Represented nationally by National Advertising Service,
Inc., New York City, Chicago, Dos Angeles and San Francisco.
Mail subscriptions
full
are $3.50 per semester; $6 per school
year; $6.60 per full year. All subscriptions subject to 2%
sales tax. Advertising rate furnished on request. Address:
The Battalion, Room 4, YMCA Building, College Station, Texas.
EDITOR GERALD GARCIA
Editorial Assistants Herky Killingsworth,
John Hotard,
Jim Butler,
Tim Lane
Photographer Herky Killingsworth
Childhood Dream Comes True
With ‘Once Upon An Island'
By HERKY KILLINGSWORTH
As a child everyone occasionally goes through a period
where a career on the stage seems desirable. As one grows
older one usually puts aside these youthful fancies for more
important dreams such as being an Aggie or a football
player. But does one ever completely give up the idea
of Broadway, Hollywood and movie stardom?
Recently I went back to my childhood dream and
endeavored to make my mark on the show business world.
Finding myself unable to act, direct, produce, or even
carry the coffee without spilling the cream, I had to enter
the field from a different side more in my line of talent.
Humbly I took to the typewriter and 20 hours later I had
produced what I felt would probably set the world on fire
in the playwriting business.
I was wrong of course; but now, nearly four weeks
after that first idea I will be seeing my play in Fallout,
way-off Broadway you might say. It’s been a struggle.
Hardly a page of my original manuscript cleared cutting.
Although the original script only took 20 hours, nearly a
100 hours more were spent in the next week smoothing it
into its present condition.
Only my original plot is the same. The ending has
been changed seven times, but the plot is still the same.
My plot is a unique plot, one in which no-one has failed
yet to reply, “Haven’t I read this somewhere before ?” I’m
sure that Shakespeare had this story in mind when he wrote
“Hamlet,” but until now it has never been seen before.
My original idea was a complete satire on our foreign
aid program which some people say I mildly oppose myself.
How the foreign aid program gets to an island is some
thing I’ll never tell, but that can be seen on stage next
week. My satire fell short though because of inexperience
(I have been told that only professionals write satire
amateurs write farces), so I created instead a farce de-
signed in the satire style of writing. Alas, the farce is
probably on me but my mother thinks it’s good.
Producing the play was another experience. Hiring
actors, directors, lighting crews and advertising agencies,
can be a problem when there is no money involved. Bu:
the idea of putting on an original show which will probably
be on Broadway within the year created enough interest
that a cast was assembled and rehearsal was begun.
More problems resulted. The leading man wanted}
dressing room of his own, with the leading lady. Tbs
Navy’s first mate absolutely refused to tattoo himself fot
authenticity, and the island native girls demanded mors
clothes. But gradually the problems were worked out ani
soon the world can see the results of the group effort -
and I’ll get to see my first production.
And still another change resulted — in the name to
add more interest. Now titled “Once Upon an Island,” ray
play features the cliches, the style, the drama, and
fantasy that is imployed into every production of fame,
Yes, I’m sure that soon “Once” (as I usually call it)
be in there with “My Fair Lady” and “The Sound of Music"
in the entertainment field and I can already envision it
starring Julie Andrews, Rex Harison, and Guy Lombardo,
with a bit part for Richard Burton.
Tagged a musical without music, a fantasy with realism,
and the closest thing to way-off Broadway, the curtain goes
up in the near future. Check your daily Batt for time and
schedule. So curtain up, my show must go on — way “out"
Broadway here I come.
The Church..For a Fuller Life..For You
CALENDAR OF CHURCH SERVICES
ST. THOMAS EPISCOPAD
906 Jersey Street, So. Side of Campus
Rector: William R. Oxley
Asst.—Rev. Wesley Seeligrer
8:00 A.M. & 9:15 A.M. Sunday
Services
A&M CHURCH OF CHRIST
8:00 & 10:00 A.M. Worship
9:00 A.M.—Bible Study
5:15 P.M.—Young People’s Class
6 :00 P.M.—Worship
7 :16 P.M.—Aggie Class
9 :30 A.M.—Tues. - Dadies Bible Class
7 :16 P.M.—Wednesday - Bible Study
UNIVERSITY LUTHERAN
(Missouri Synod)
10:00 A.M.—Bible Class
11:00 A.M.—Morning Worship
7 :30 P.M.—Wednesday Vesper
UNITARIAN FELLOWSHIP
Not Meeting For Remainder of The
Summer.
7-9 A.M.—Sun. Breakfast - Stu. Ctr.
9 :46 A.M.—Church School
11:00 A.M.—Morning Worship
6 :00 P.M.—Sun. Single Stu. Fellowship
7:15 P.M.—Wed. Student Fellowship
6 :46 A.M.—Fri. Communion Service
Wesley Foundation
CHURCH OF THE NAZARENE
9 :45 A.M.—Sunday School
10 :45 A.M.—Kjorning Worship
6 :30 P.M.—Young People’s Service
7 :00 P.M.—Preaching Service
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE SOCIETY
9 :30 A.M.—Sunday School
11 :00 A.M.—Sunday Service
11:00 A.M.-2 P.M.—^Tues. Reading Rm.
7:00-8:00 P.M.—Wed., Reading Room
8:00 P.M.—Wed. Evening Worship
FIRST BAPTIST
9 :30 AM—Sunday School
10 :45 AM Morning Worship
6 :10 PM—Training Union
7 :20 PM—Evening Worship
6 :30 PM—Choir Practice & Teachers’
meetings (Wednesday)
7 :30 P.M.—Midweek Services (Wed.)
SECOND BAPTIST
710 Eisenhower
9 :45 A.M.—Sunday School
11 :00 A.M.—Church Service
6 :30 P.M.—Training Union
7 :30 P.M.—Church Service
OUR SAVIOUR'S LUTHERAN
8:16 & 10:45 A.M.—The Church at
Worship
9 :30 A.M.—Bible Classes For All
Holy Communion—1st Sun. Ea. Mo.
ST. MARY’S CATHOLIC
Sunday Masses—7:30, 9:00 and 11:00
FAITH CHURCH
UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST
9:16 A.M.—Sunday School
10 :30 A.M.—Morning Worship
7 :30 P.M.—Evening Service
COLLEGE HEIGHTS
ASSEMBLY OF GOD
9 :45 A.M.—Sunday School
11 :00 A.M.—Morning Worship
6 :30 P.M.—Young People's Service
7 :30 P.M.—-Evening Worship
A&M METHODIST
8:30 A.M.—Morning Worship
9 :45 A.M.—Sunday School
10 :55 A.M.—-Morning Worship
5 :30 P.M.—Campus & Career Class
5 :30 & 6 :00 P.M.—MYF Meetings
CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST
OF LATTER DAY SAINTS
26th East and Coulter, Bryan
8 :30 A.M.—Priesthood meeting
10 :00 A.M.—Sunday School
6 :30 P.M.—Sacrament Meeting
FIRST CHRISTIAN CHURCH
Homestead & Ennis
9 :46 A.M.—Sunday School
10 :50 A.M.—Morning Worship
5 :30 P.M.—Young People
(UITH
HTsr
6YE
TO
PERFECTFOn
Mitlier 3i
An artist takes a strip of glass with flaws and
imperfections (something you and I would care
lessly discard), and transforms it into stained glass
of unbelievable beauty.
And God makes possible another transformation
. . . although our souls are scarred, He can help
us develop into creatures of inward beauty and
usefulness.
Through Him we can learn to overcome weak
ness with new-found strength. We can learn to have
faith because we know the anguish of despair. We
can learn to love—both God and man—because we
know the emptiness of living without love.
Through regular church attendance and prayer,
we too, can transform our flaws and weaknesses
into beauty of character and fitness of purpose.
Copyright 1S66> Keister Advertising Service, Inc., Strasburg, Va.
THE CHURCH FOR ALL-
ALL FOR THE CHURCH
The Church is the greatest factor
on earth for the building of charac
ter and good citizenship. It is a store
house of spiritual values. Without a
strong Church, neither democracy
nor civilization can survive. There
are four sound reasons why every
person should attend services regu
larly and support the Church. They
are: (1) For his own sake. (2) For
his children’s sake. (3) For the sake
of his community and nation. (4)
For the sake of the Church itself,
which needs his moral and material
support. Plan to go to church regu
larly and read your Bible daily.
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Job Psalms Psalms Romans I Corinthians Ephesians Hebrews
40:6-14 27:1-6 96:1-6 12:1-8 1:18-25 2:1-10 11:32-40
BRYAN, TEXAS
502 West 26th St.
PHONE TA 2-1572
Campus
and
Circle
Theatres
College Station
College Station’s Own
Banking Service
University
National Bank
NORTH GATE
Sure Sign of Flavor
SANITARY
Farm Dairies
Central Texas
Hardware Co.
BRYAN
• HARDWARE
•• CHINA WARE
• CRYSTAL
• GIFTS
The
Exchange
Store
‘Serving Texas Aggies’
Bryan Building
& Loan
Association
BRYAN
M*.
ICE CREAM
AND
MILK
Thursday,
(
Sm
Mill
The T
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product,
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chairmai
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and daii
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Gault
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sociatior
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Departn:
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taken la
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directly
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He sa
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in recon
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Special i
health.
Specii
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dispense
and guic
quality.
—Coo
all dair;
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—De\
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nual me
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Sept. 1.
A&M
nouncec
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P. Han
rector
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develop
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for op
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tent tl
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