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Coin’ West
Cbe Battalion
Page 2
College Station, Texas
Thursday, July 28, 1966
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EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the
last of a two-part series con
cerning a young lady’s travels in
the western United States and
Southern Canada.
By JEAN MARTIN
I never felt far from home
until I crossed the border into
Canada. The mountains and the
trees looked the same, but they
didn’t fool me; I was in a strange
country. The gas cost 50 cents.
It may have been a larger gal
lon, but it still sounded outrage
ous. A beautiful Canadian sun
set painted the sky behind a
mountain and a Christmas tree.
I drank sparingly from my can
teen. There was Texas water in
it, and I was somewhat home
sick.
The next morning I headed
south to the border. The guards
took one look at my well-loaded
car and decided the day was off
to a bad start. A family of
campers drove up, handed a
guard a card, and went on their
way. The other guard asked me
what I was doing so far from
home, alone, staying in Canada
only one day. I didn’t know, but
I was willing to go on home now.
He looked at my driver’s license,
the trunk and my suitcase. He
was afraid to look in the back
seat under that “bathtub.” It
wasn’t a bathtub. It was a plas
tic boat which had given me a
marvelous ride down a swift
mountain stream one icy morn
ing, letting some of the melted
snow in. Probably certain that I
was smuggling something, the
guards let me through rather
coldly.
Fisherman’s Wharf in San
Francisco was fascinating. The
cold, heavy mist engulfed the
tourists as they strolled through
the shops, buying the fisher
men’s crabs, lobsters, and bread
sticks. Alcatraz could be seen
but not swum to and from. The
Wax Museum displayed a figure
of Brigitte Bardot, which two
sailors were desperately trying
to take a picture of. My car
wanted to stay there for ever
and evei‘, but a new battery per
suaded it to move on.
I watched for beatniks at
Nuclear Engineering
Gets Neutron Source
Texas A&M’s Department of
Nuclear Engineering has re
ceived $1,400 of Plutonium .-Be
ryllium neutron sources from the
Pan Geo Atlas Corporation of
Houston.
Dr. Robert G. Cochran, A&M’s
Nuclear Engineering head, said
the neutron source will be used
in the department’s AGN-201 re
actor. The University of Hous
ton and University of Texas were
given identical donations.
There’s truth in the saying,
“You can’t teach an old dog new
tricks.” Trainers find that dogs
more than 2 years old rapidly
lose their ability to learn.
Berkeley and finally found one
nailing purple posters up on tele
phone poles. Hoping to get this
strange creature to talk, I ap
proached him and asked for a
poster. He gave me one and told
me to be sure and be there
Thursday night. It wasn’t a pro
test against the bomb or a meet
ing for draft-dodgers. It was
just a dance. But I knew he was
a beatnik. He had long hair.
The streets of the famous di
vorce town, Reno, were lined
with small, brightly painted
churches urging lovers to be
married and have a joyful occa
sion to remember forever.
“Poor Road” on a map is not
the name of the road; it means
it goes straight up and down and
around mountains, stretches pre
cariously over a flimsy bridge,
becomes less than a one-lane
path, requires a speed of 25 or
less in low gear and gets even
worse before it ends. However,
it’s a good cure for the blues.
Imagine the thrill, the sense of
achievement, the joy at being
alive ... if you make it.
The skeletons of long-aban
doned cars urged my car on as it
limped across the Mojave Desert.
The side of the road was lined
with grease spots from the many
cars who had stopped to rest.
No one was in a hurry except
the drivers in the air-conditioned
cars who sped by unaware of the
strain on their high-powered en
gines. Now and then a small
white rat would run across the
road. My canteen was low, but
the water was too hot to drink.
I kept thinking of the pink wax
swan I had bought my mother
and wondered what kind of shape
it was in.
A cool mountain stream of
fered peace and quiet at Zion
National Park. A nearby deer
slowly came closer, nibbling
grass, unafraid of man. The still
ness was broken by the sound of
car doors as 10 children, all load
ed with cameras, came down the
hill. In a flash the deer was
gone. They didn’t want to see it.
They just wanted to take a pic
ture of it.
The sunset at Grand Canyon
was marvelous; but when it was
gone, the world came back down
to earth. An irate father led his
wife and four kids back to the
car after discovering that the
lodge was filled, that all the
lodges were filled, and that the
hotels in the nearest town, 58
miles away were probably filled.
They blamed each other, com
plaining and whining and bang
ing their car doors against my
car in their anger. After several
attempts to start their car, they
roared off into the night, taking
their troubles with them. I pulled
the blanket up over my head and
went back to sleep.
Two tires, a battery, a fan belt,
a thermostat, and 10,000 miles
passed in one month, two days,
and 11 hours. Texas became a
little bit more beautiful as I got
closer.
A Little Piece Of Nonsense
A School’s School:
Studing Bunny Tales
“I think your plan is ingenious, but if you want a date
with one of th’ girls in the publications workshop, wouldn’t
it be easier to simply ask one for a date?”
By HERKY KILLINGSWORTH
What this school needs is more
schools. Thousands of girls
swarmed our tiny campus because
of the Journalism workshop this
week. Last week firemen kept
the place hot by keeping students
awake in class wondering which
building was to be used for ex
perimental purposes. Workshops
and schools have enlivened our
campus for years; but what have
the students, gained from them.
I have another proposal. In the
past my campaigns for campus
improvements have fallen short
of the increased enrollment
I have strived to obtain.
But I haven’t given up. Instead
I have reached into my inner
most mind and come up with yet
another improvement that could
probably triple the enrollment by
next year and draw in every
eligible Texas boy the following
year. How’s that for rebuilding?
My proposal is a modest one.
It goes along with the various
schools we already sponsor. It
is a school that will so improve
A&M that other Texas schools
will fall to the wayside and seek
recognition in such petty forms
as football and colored towers.
I think it would be nice to spon
sor a Playboy Bunny Training
School on our campus, a school
that would bring in the most
beautiful girls in the world to
study whatever it is that Bunnys
study.
Playboy bunnies would receive
some of their training naturally
enough in the messhalls. Can
you think of a place more chal
lenging? This would give the
cafeteria more revenue because of
increased attendance which would
in turn provide more and better
food, although I doubt seriously
if anyone would care.
And what better place can a
beautiful girl receive training in
entertaining men. I know that I
would be glad to volunteer my
services to their specialized train
ing and feel that perhaps at least
one or two other Aggies might
help.
To go along with the special,
ized Bunny school, various de.
partments on campus would net:
to introduce new courses for tk
rising interests: The Englis!
Department could introduce
course in “Texas Bunny Tales
the Wild Life Department wotil:
have “How to Catch Bunnies it
the Great Outdoors”; Scients
would need a “Biological Stud]
of the Female Bunny; and Mai!
could strengthen their depan
ment in multiplication.
Of course there would be prok
lems. A&M would need to decidt
once and for all whether they'j
rather have an increased enroll
ment (which I feel that I hav.
just solved) or academic excel
lence. The two could not go to
gether, unless we switched ti
complete night school having onlj
an occasional day course for tk
hard working secretary. No?
this would really shake up tk
Texas educators . . . but the:
that’s a tale of a different colot
Howdy! I finally met Cyric
Hayseed and what a character.
Here’s how the conversation
went:
“Hi, my name is Cyric Hayseed
and I came by to let you know
that I am not writing any more.
“See, I made a C plus 8 the last
six weeks and my junior pals told
me that that was good so I de
cided to use my time to party and
all this other stuff they do and
I will not have time to write. See,
C plus 8 is so close to a B that
I will have more time to play be
cause I will not have to study as
much,” Cyric said.
Tommy DeFrank, Battalion
editor for the coming school year,
said he survived the wars at Fort
Sill this summer. . . . Jerry
Stephens has resigned as chair
man of the Leadership Confer
ence and is being replaced by
Dennis Hohman. . . . Guess most
of you Aggies have seen all the
girls on campus this week. ... If
you are wondering why they are
on campus they are here for the
Journalism Workshop. ... A new
tradition has started on campus.
. . . While walking past the Fish
Fountain the other day, an Aggie
was tossing pennies into the
Fountain. . . . Asked him why
and he replied: “I am wishing to
graduate this time.”
P.S. He won’t because I took
the pennies out after he left.
See ya ’round—
Mortimer
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published in College Station, Texas daily except Saturday,
Sunday, and Monday, and holiday periods, September through EDITOR l GERALD GARCIA
May, and once a week during summer school.
MEMBER Editorial Assistants —- Herky Killingsworth,
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