Page 2
THE BATTALION
College Station, Texas Thursday, July 14, 19GG
Sound Off
CADET SLOUCH
“I’ve given this course all I had! I’ve laughed at his jokes,
asked flattering questions, had two office visits, sat on
th’ front row—I’ve even considered studying for th’ final!”
To Marry Or Not!
That’s A Question
By HERKY KILLINGSWORTH
A few days ago I happened to
go to one of those movies that
so glamorized marriage that 1
left determined to take the vows
myself. It was one of those for
eign movies where Elke Sommer
and Sophia Loren give happiness
to some lucky husband for the
rest of his life.
I was hooked and looked both
left and light for suitable ma
terial to spend the rest of my
life. On the way back to the
campus I happened into the Col
lege View area where I was
shocked out of my idealistic ideas.
One hubby was hard at work
pushing a lawn mower; another
was hanging out enough laundry
to fill out four laundry slips; in
front of one house ran 17 squeal
ing brats, nine of which wg^g.
crying an.! the other eight fight
ing over the one swing which
hung in an old dead tree.
The shock was too much. I
looked aghast much as I imagine
Edgar Allen Poe looked when he
first encountered the House of
Usher. I fled from the scene
swearing never to be married
while there was an ounce of blood
left in my veins. Reaching my
dorm I said a solemn prayer for
the hopeless husbands of the
world, but began to reconsider
after entering my room and see
ing the past two weeks’ laundry
on the back of a chair along with
various items of trash, such as
textbooks, lying about the room.
I pondered. Maybe a wife
wasn’t such a bad idea. With
lunch time approaching and the
thought of another messhall meal
entered my mind, I felt that in
deed marriage might be a good
thing The growling of my stom
ach further induced me into
thoughts of returning every night
to a cute little wife who had a
hot meal waiting. I was sold, and
once again began my diligent
search for a spouse.
But wait! In placing a Play
boy magazine aside to find my
bed, I catch a glance at what
could be waiting foi - the man-
about-town who has yet to marry.
Would it be worth the wait?
Could I ever reach that smooth
ness that makes that man about
town? Of course I could, right
after I make that first million.
Forget about marriage. Why
settle for one female when there’s
a whole world of women just
waiting to be picked off of that
great money tree in the sky.
' N’o\^ 1 wa\<‘ detdrtuihed, No.
fancy talking, sweet smelling
female for me. Let the other
suckers take those fatal vows.
Lookout world, here I come!
Lookout, a pair of feline fig
ures pass my window. My bache
lor dreams snap, and utter con
fusion enters my mind. Should I
marry or should I? Should I
begin my search for a mate today
or wait until tomorrow? In com
plete turmoil I now decide to
enter a male convent. Or better
yet I shall return to the movie
where the mess began. Maybe
that will straighten me out.
Once more inside the movie I
find that a new movie has hit
town, a James Bond thriller. Ex
citedly I watch his every action.
At the end, my confusion was
solved. Forget about marriage,
forget about bachelorhood. I want
to be a spy.
Dear Editor,
The Battalion,
Ping, ping, ping! Thet’s the
way my little ole heart went
aftern I’s read thet letter last
week from Missy Prissy. Does
you reely thinks she likes me.
Gee, I hope so. I ain’t never be
fore had no one to like me ex
ceptin’ my Ma ’n my Pa, ’n
Aunt Bess every once in a wile.
But they’s don’t count cause they’s
kinfolks ’n are dootifly supposed
to like me.
■Missy Prissy sez I’s terrific.
Shucks, I’s jest doin’ whut
comes naturally. She’s also sed
thet’s shes “ape” over me, what
ever thet means. I reckun thet’s
one of them typergraphical arrows
the paper makes once in a wile
for I’s can only reckun it’s sup
pose to be “date.” She went date
over me.
I’s sure would like to meet this
girl and everyone knows I’s try
ing. Why even those three jun
iors in my dorm is helpin’ me look.
We’s gone over every map of
Texas tryin’ to fine Tunis ’n I
still ain’t fines it yet. Thet pro-
bly means she comes from a
small town like Sneedville where
I’s spent my whole life. She’s
one of my own kind.
And about thet box of hers. I’s
written there three times allready
but my letters allways comes
back to me. I’s jest can’t under
stand it. It could be another of
those typergraphical arrows but
more likely its jest a mistake on
the part of the post guys.
Whut I can’t understand is why
she calls me a “country hick.” I’s
in. the big city now and goin’ to
a big LTniversity or College or
whutever it is. I’s realize thet
I use to have a little country in
me but I’s allways owned it up to
heritage and somethin’ by Byo-
logy teacher calls geens, not
germs but geens. Thet’s whut
your Ma gives you through a oom-
biblical card allthough I’s can’t
for the life of me remember get-
tin’ it.
Anyhow, back to Missy Prissy.
I hopes she don’t get away for
I’s cornin’ sometime in the future.
With those three juniors helpin’ I
me it shan’t be long befoi-e Tunis j
is found. Why we’s thinkin’ of
gettin’ out the Missin’ People De- j
partment Store to help us, or ;
Presenting -
CHARLIE WALKER
Famous Recording
Artist
Star Of The
Grand Ole Opry
At The
Lakeview Chib
Also
Lou Rochelle and the
Country Gentlemen
Big Show & Dance
Friday, July 15
8 - 12 p. m.
Admission — $2.50
L-
University Cleaners
(Formerly Loupot’s Cleaners)
112 N. Main St. Phone 846-6615
North Gate
Dry Cleaning
La u ndry
Alterations
Ernest Sebesta ’39
THE BATTALION
Opinions expressed in The Battalion
are those of the student writers only. The
Battalion is a non tax-supported non
profit, self-supporting educational enter
prise edited and operated by students as
a university and community newspaper.
The Associated Press is entitled exclusively to the use for
republication of all news dispatches credited to it or not
otherwise credited in the paper and local news of spontaneous
oriirin published herein. Itights of republication of all other
matter herein are also reserved.
Second-Class postage paid at College Station, Texas.
Members of the Student Publications Board are: Joe Buset;
chairman ; Dr. David Bowers, College of Liberal Arts ; Dr.
Kobert A. Clark, College of Geosciences ; Dr. Frank A. Mc
Donald, College of Science; Dr. J. G. McGuire, College of
Kngineering; Dr. Robert S. Titus, College of Veterinary
Medicine; and Dr. A. B. Wooten, College of Agriculture.
News contributions may be made by telephoning 846-6618
or 846-4910 or at the editorial office. Room 4, YMCA Building.
For advertising or delivery call 846-6416.
iptions
school
Mail subscriptions are $3.50 per semester;
year; $6.50 per full year. All subscriptions
sales tax. Advertising rate furnished on requ<
The Battalion, Room 4, YMCA Building, College Station, Texas.
$6 per
subject to 2%
nest. Address:
The Battalion, a student newspaper at Texas A&M
published in College Station, Texas daily except Saturday,
Sunday, and Monday, and holiday periods, September through
cho
May, and once a week during summer school.
MEMBER
The Associated Press, Texas Press Association
Inc., New York City.
nally
Chica:
go, Los Angeles and San Francisco.
EDITOR .
Editorial Assistants
Photographer
GERALD GARCIA
Herky Killingsworth,
John Hotard,
Jim Butler,
Tim Lane
Herky Killingsworth
somethin’ like thet. Thet’s one
of the juniors idea.
I’s also looking for a Twu on
the map but thet don’t seem to be
there ether. Is it close to A&M
or Houston? They’s jest don’t
make maps like they use to.
Anyhow I’s got to go ’n continue
my lookin’. Also I thinks I’s
goin’ to have to study a little for
my finals or it’ll be finals for me
(thet’s a joke, finals for me).
Adios for now. Thet means
good night in English.
Sincerely,
Cyric Hayseed ’70
★ ★ ★
dere etiture
The Batalun
You has shore made me feel
et home this here semustur by
lett’in thet brillunt ole riter sound
off in yore paper. He has got the
stile i like and it shore is lots
easier to reed his stuff, i jist
thot mebe you culd use anuther
riter like him since he has a
stile simulur to mine, i ain’t had
too much sperience at ritin, but
it don’t take no genus to see he
has got whut it takes to make
yore papur.
Do you thank you culd use an
uther staff member with a simulur
stile to his’un. i git round the
kampus too and i have saw a
few thanks thet he’s missin. i
have saw this here gurl he has in
his 6;o0 klas and it don’t take
no genus to see he ain’t too gud
at undercuver wurk. like rite
off i knowed she wus married,
she jist don’t ware no rang. You
see, she’s tryin to fool guys like
him into askin fer a date so she
kin brag to her husbin about how
them pore aggis is so lonesum
and needs to raise there egos (i
lurned this here is sycologie). it
means whuts inside thet nobudy
else kin see, but you kin feel,
sorta like when you spel a wurd
kerect and how gud it makes you
feel, or when i gets this rere letter
printed in yore papur.
I shore am anxus to meet you
and talk about goin to wurk fer
you. I have uncovered sum reel
instrustin facks sine i have been
on this here kampus, like you
kin git a gooder meal in any kaffa
around than you kin git at sibee-
ser, fur lots less muney. i ain’t
no millunares sun and i knows
how to make a dollur go fer’um
some stupid guys i have saw eat-
in three meals a day there. Sum-
thin shuld be investurgated about
them high prices. (p.s. i aint
nere as old as cyric either, i
noticed he is ’70.)
everlovin yores,
elide ketchup, ’40
Charles F. Johnson
’62
*** College Master
Representative
Fidelity Union Life
846-8228
We Need
USED BOOKS
The Aggie’s are expecting us to supply them
with as many used hooks as possible.
We have contacted several college stores and
have bought every used book we can get to
meet this demand.
If you have any used books I would sure appre
ciate an opportunity to buy them; if I’m going
to give my money away I would rather give it
to good Aggies.
Remember
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