Columns • Editorials • News Briefs Cbe Battalion Page 2 College Station, Texas Thursday, May 19, 1966 + Opinions • Cartoons Features Of Mice and Men By Herky Killingsworth Novel Takes Side Of The Red Man I shout my disappointment to the world! I thought for sure I would be asked to speak at Commencement but alas, they picked another. I won’t say that I was mad, grieved, or angry, but I did cry a little. After all, I had spent weeks preparing my speech only to enclose it in my growing circular file. Then I got an idea! I would still address the ^seniors, a little early, but probably still the best address. I have shed the conven tional phrases of “work hard,” “put your nose to the grind stone,” and “you are the leaders of the country” — instead I will tell you the truth. You under classmen may read this also. I will probably refuse to give the ceremony my presence after the obvious snub I suffered this time. My Speech: “THANK YOU for that tre mendous introduction. There is no way possible for me to ful fill all of those kind words you said about me (wait for laughter to subside). Ladies and gentle men, Aggies, Maggies, parents, friends, President Rudder, Dean Hannigan, Mr. Gay, Mr. Stark, Col. Adams, Jack Boggan, Aunt Maud, and all of the rest of you wonderful people who come to hear me today. “We are gathered here on the threshold of something great. A new graduating class, class of (stumble here and wait for laughter to subside) ’66. Let me give you some advice, not as a former graduate of this fine uni versity (for they haven’t seen fit to acknowledge my brilliance yet), but as a student older than most of you, in college more than most of you, and one of the few living Aggies today that can say he attended A&M under three coaches. “TODAY I AM going to give you advice that will far outdo the conventional speeches usually given. A speech that will help you in every day of your life, in business and the home. I have carefully researched the informa tion I am about to give you and night after night I have tried my own advice to make sure it is letter perfect for you Aggies. “The world of business today does not depend on the most skilled worker, the smartest aleck, or- even the people you know. Advancements and pro motions today depend upon the conduct you present on the golf course, the parties, and the BAR. Yes, it is in the bar that the decisions are made today. And what boss will have any confi dence in a man that cannot hold his liquor or makes a fool of himself in ordering a drink. “So before you are set out among the world with nothing but a bit of sheepskin (or is it paper today) I will give you a basic lesson in social drinking. I must admit that I am no authority oin the subject, but I am working toward it. I have received the aid of a very good friend of mine, Bob Coltrin, who is the bartender of Briarcrest Country Club. There he is in the audience, ladies and gentleman, in the eighth row. Take a bow, Bob. How’s the wife and family ? (Wait for laughter to subside). “Anyhow, Bob has been so kind as to instruct me in the art of god drinking, at 75^ a shot, that is. “The main thing in ordering a drink — and this makes sense — is “be nice to the bartender.” He has good quality stuff and bad quality stuff behind that bar and that drink can taste as good or as bad as he wishes to make it. To a bartender your business isn’t so important that you can’t be missed. Look at it this way: you wouldn’t tell a cook that his food is lousy before he brings it out. REMEMBER THE bartender can be a real buddy. Besides giving you the best for less, he can give you advice. Probably 100 people a day come in and talk to a bartender. He knows everything from tips in the stockmarket to the hot spots in town. If you’re nice enough, they can be bought out. Don’t try to get them drunk, though. Re member they’ve had practice. “Social drinking today has been brought down to an art. A drop too much of one thing can ruin another. Every little accessory to a drink has its importance, too. Take the lemon, for in stance. It makes a drink look pretty, and it also takes some of the bite out of a drink. Start out with a whole lemon and work down. A lime does the same thing, only more so. Cherries add beauty and sweetness. Olives in duce the customer to return for a second drink to wash down the taste of the olive. The onion also works this way. “That reminds, me of a funny joke I heard on the way to bath room the other night: It’s a known fact that one-third of the martini drinkers today drink mar tinis because they feel it the chic thing to do. Martinis taste awful and an alcoholic is born every other martini drinker because they keep trying to wash down the horrible taste of the olive only to eat the next one. (laugh ter) (more laughter) “THERE IS a simple formula to observe in mixing drinks that I’m going to pass on to you now, with Bob’s permission — it’s okay Bob? — thanks. Use a cherry when using sweet ver mouth, orange slice and cherry both in sours, orange slice and cherry and lemon in collins and also old fashions. Gibsons take a onion. When using fruit juices shake it, rattle it, and roll it. Otherwise just stir so as not to bruise the alcohol. “When you get to your new job look up the local bartender. He can help you. He knows lots of funny stories, for instance. Bob tells of the time he was wait ing a bar in Pennsylvania and this man the size of Matson and Moorman together comes in. Now he can tell he’s a troublemaker and has no intention of giving any trouble. Looking for a fight, the big bully challenges every man at the bar and accuses them of trying to steal his girl, in cluding Bob — Bob isn’t too big — stand up again, Bob — thank you. “ANYHOW, AS soon as that man stepped out onto the street again the lights went out the door closed and the rest of the clients went out through the back door. Bartenders are also known for their brains. “Another story he tells me is the origin of the martini. It was thought up by a man named Mar tin who tended the bar at the Waldrof Astoria. It became pop ular and has become the most popular dring in America. Now isn’t that a success story that brings tears ? I CAN TELL by the way Presi dent Rudder keeps looking at his watch it must be time for me to stop. I’d like to tell you one more story first if you don’t mind. Do you mind ? Thank you. “In a little bar on the left bank of Paris a bartender was once accosted by a young man who breathlessly ordered a dou ble bourbon “before the big fight.” The bartender gave him the drink and he gulped it down, ordered another one again, say ing “before the big fight.” He again gulped the drink down while the bartender asked where the fight was. The man asked for one more drink, first which the bartender obliged him by giving. The young man then said the big fight was going to be right here when the bartender found out he didn’t have any money. “Thank you (wait for applause, bow three times in separate di rections. Hold both hands and nod. Shake Mr. Rudder’s hand and go to seat. Bow twice more and sit down.) A COUNTRY OF STRANG ERS. By Conrad Richter. Knopf. $3.95. Richter’s novel is a touching, tragic, thought - provoking story of a victim of early America’s betrayal of the red man. Ironically the victim is a white girl, who at a very early age had been captured by the Indians. She has been raised in an Indian family, and given the name of Stone Girl. She has married an Indian, is the mother of an Indian boy named Otter Boy. She has only a few faint memories of her pre-Indian life. She thinks, feels and acts like an Indian. But when the white men de mand the general return of cap tives, she is taken away from her husband—later she is to learn he has been killed in a raid — and with Otter Boy is sent on a long journey. A French priest takes them and another captive girl back to the white settlements in Pennsylvania to restore them to their real parents. Disastrously, Stone Girl is re jected by her white father. She becomes lost between the races— neither white nor Indian, but in her primitive way her allegiance is with her dark-skinned son. Then comes the terror of an Indian raid on the white settle ments; a dangerous mission to save her small white sister; a desperate escape, a sorrowful re treat to the wilds. Richter has told the story from the viewpoint of the almost-In- dian girl, with allusions to Indian beliefs and customs, with an ex pert insight into Indian psycholo gy, language and symbolism. This is a companion novel to the author’s well - known “The Light in the Forest.” It contains a deep sense of tragedy and forti tude, and a deep sympathy for the victims of the white man’s arrogant invasion of the wilder ness. —Miles A. Smith CASH for USED BOOKS Help Lou Help You BATTALION CLASSIFIED WANT AD RATES On* day per word each additio: 4 p.m. day before pub Classified Display 90c Per column inch each insertion imum charge—50c DEADLINE 4# per w ional day blication FOR SALE Senior Boots, 18-C, 18 inch calf; stove, $50 : refrigerator, $26; freezer, $50 ; roll- away bed, $20. 822-0473. 316tfn Officers dress blues, greens $15. Approxi mate sizes — Coat 42, trousers 38. Call Army Uniforms : $40, overcoat $17, 846-5238 after 5:30 p.m. 1964 ALLSTATE 250 CC Cycle, $295,