Bill Altman
’65
College Master
Representative
Fidelity Union Life
846-8228
Expecting?
Everything
for the expect
ing: mother-
dresses-sports-
wear lingerie—
All moderately
priced.
Joyce's
608 S. College
TA 2-2864
Page 4
College Station, Texas
Wednesday, October 27, 1965
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125 Titles in all —among
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Hamlet • Macbeth • Scarlet Letter • Tale
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THE BATTALION
Aggie Jokes—Again And Again
A Few Words
Of Kindness
For The Aggies
By ED KIDD
The Mexia Daily News
(EDITOR’S NOTE: Mr. Kidd
is a former employe of Texas
A&M’s Agricultural Information
service and once served as stu
dent publications director here.
The following article appeared in
his column "The Village Idiot” in
the Mexia Daily News as well as
several other newspapers where
his column is printed.)
With autumn comes delights of
the season: cooler weather;
property tax notices from city,
county, and school district; more
clothes on girls; runny noses;
football games; migrating geese-
and the piece - de - resistance,
new Aggie Jokes!
Sometimes it seems the young
men who are denizens of that
cultural center in the Brazos bot
toms don’t quite get the press
they deserve. Sports writers
seem to break out their sharpest
knives after an Aggie defeat —
and heaven knows that’s almost
a constant condition!
And those Aggie Jokes — no
matter where, or who, or when,
they crop up!
We remember sitting up one
night by the body of a late de
parted Aggie, who for fifty-odd
years had been the number one
target of those jokes in his home
town. Sure enough, before 11
p.m., some character had already
broken out several Aggie Jokes,
and the rest of the night was
about as successful as such an
occasion can ever be.
Actually, Texans owe a great
deal to Aggieland. If you took
the Aggie out of Texas humor,
about forty percent of the jokes
in barber shops, drug stores,
hardware emporiums, and dusty
street corners would be gone.
The jokes are usually short
enough for any Texas-Ex to re
member, which means they’re
brief, man, brief!
They’re simple enough for a
Baylor or SMU or Rice or TCU
man to master. They’re clean
enough, generally, for most audi
ences.
And, in some instances, they’re
pretty good.
And Aggies, since they’re no
toriously toucheous about their
Alma Mater, always respond
with such anguish and pain, that
it’s more fun to needle one of
them than it is to sass your wife,
or snap back at the boss.
It may not be safer, but it’s
more fun. And the damage is
usually not as lasting.
One newspaperman several
years ago pointed out that the
intense feeling of Aggies is due
to the fact, said he, that A&M
is the only school in Texas that
gives a four - year course in
school spirit.
No one appreciates Aggie
Jokes any more than you do —
unless it’s us.
But, once in a while somebody,
somewhere, sometime — who
wasn’t an Aggie in any way
ought to say a few kind words
for the Aggies.
So here they are:
Many a very poor Texas boy
went to A&M because it was the
school that for many years was
inexpensive enough—and offered
enough work opportunities—for
that young man to attend. May
be that’s one reason that a lot
of now successful Aggies look
hack with nostalgia and fond
ness, to the college that gave
them their chance for a better
deal in life.
And no one tells Aggie Jokes
at the entrance to the Memorial
Student Center.
All you have to do is start
reading the names on the bronze
plaque at the entrance — the
long, long, long, tragic list of
those young men who left A&M
filled with the joy and excite
ment of life, only to lose that
life later on in Europe, or the
Pacific Theater of war.
And no one who knows the
war record of A&M graduates,
and who reflects on this tough,
mean world — and the price that
each generation of Americans
pays just to live in it — can find
much to joke about in that area.
And the way the flag is car
ried at A&M beats the way plac
ards are waved at some institu
tions.
And one thing, at A&M, those
cadets at least look bathed and
shaved. Some of the weirdies
one sees at other intellectual
mills these days look very much
like something left over. But one
wonders why!
And it’s right pleasant to hear:
"Yes, Sir,” instead of "Well, Yo!
Daddio”
No, friend you’re wrong! We
didn’t graduate from A&M. We
finished up at a college where
nobody particularly seemed to
care. And you hear very few
jokes about THAT institution!
Reprinted With
Special Permission From
The San Angelo Standard-Times
There was this fellow who
wanted to buy a new brain.
Why, the story doesn’t say,
but he went to this cold storage
vault where brains were sold.
All the brains were displayed
in small compartments. There
were Harvard University brains,
$250 per pound; University of
California brains, $250 per
pound; MIT brains, $250 per
pound and Texas A&M brains,
$5,000 per pound.
The man was startled. He
couldn’t understand why Texas
A&M brains cost so much, so he
asked the man who sold the
brains.
The seller replied: "Did you
ever think how many Aggies it
takes to get a pound of brains?
Then there was this Aggie who
went into a restaurant and
ordered a pizza.
"You want it cut in six or four
pieces?” the shopkeeper asked.
“I don’t know?” said the Ag
gie, “Better make it four pieces
I don’t think I could get six.”
Those are just two ways to
win University of Texas friends
and make Aggie enemies fast.
But for some reason jokesters
just can’t resist the temptation
to poke fun at the Aggies. A San
Angelo advertising firm would
like to change all this.
The way to do this, says San-
Tex Advertising is: “Tell a joke!
About the University of Texas
... a public service to Texas Ag
gies.”
The billboard went up about a
week ago, just for fun, says Bob
Miller, manager of the firm and
incidentally, a Texas Tech man.
“We felt that Aggies always
get the worst of the jokes,” Mill
er said. “We’re trying to make a
counter movement by urging
people to tell a joke about the
University of Texas.”
Miller, however, admitted that
he knows only one University of
Texas joke. “And that’s not go
ing to go in the paper.”
And Miller’s found out that
few people know University of
Texas jokes.
“Every time I ask someone if
they have heard a good UT
joke,” Miller said, “they say, 'No
but have you heard the one
about the Aggie . .
This seems to be the way it
is with most jokesters, even Ag
gie humorists Glenn Warren and
Glenn W. Lewis who seem to
have a million of ’em.
Neither knew a printable UT
joke, but like attorney Lewis
said, “I know a good Aggie one,”
Lewis’ favorite is about an
Aggie and a monkey who were
sent up together in a rocket.
“About every five or 10 min
utes the monkey would call down
to mission control and ask for
instruction,” teasipper Lewis
said. “Mission control would give
it instruction to do this or that.
“This went on four or five
hours. Finally, the Aggies picked
up the mike and called mission
control, asking for instructions.
There was a long pause on the
other end, then a voice replied,
‘Feed the Monkey.’ ”
Warren’s favorite takes place
in a big company.
“Everybody got 15-minute cof
fee breaks, except the Aggies,”
Warren said. “The Aggies pro
tested about it, but the manage
ment said, ‘We can’t let you have
more than five minutes. If we do,
it takes us the rest of the day to
get you retrained.’ ”
Johnny Bonner, president of
the Tom Green County Aggie
exes, claimed this sort of jok
ing hurts A&M.
“We talk to high school gradu
ates every year,” said Bonner,
“and the biggest thing they’re
concerned about are the jokes.”
But Miller’s campaign may go
unappreciated by some Aggies.
It seems some like the jokes.
“They don’t shame me about
their Aggie jokes,” said San An-
geloan Alton McEver. “I think
it’s wonderful. I think they'rt
putting A&M in the spotlight I:
doesn’t insult me at all. There's
more prestige to it than any.
thing else.”
But whenever a UT man tells
McEver an Aggie joke,
doesn’t let him go away laughing
at his own humorism.
“I get back at them,” McEvet
said. "I ask what those two
fingers stand for. They say,
‘Hook ’em horns.’ I say, ‘No, that
means number two in the confer,
ence.’ ”
And then some Aggies have
another way of getting back at
the “Teasippers.”
“There’s two kinds of sorry
outfits,” they say. “One that
goes to the University of Texas
and the other that tells Aggie
jokes.”
Ags Drink About 4,400 Gallon
OfMilk Weekly AtDining Hall
By ROBERT SOLOVEY
Battalion Special Writer
Ever wonder how many bottles
of fresh milk it takes to supply
9.000 thirsty Aggies each week?
The Aggie Creamery supplies
the cafeteria and the mess halls
with over 4,400 gallons of milk
which includes approximately
54.000 half-pint bottles, said
Thomas Arrington, head of pro
cessing.
“That’s about 18,000 bottles a
day, because all of this milk is
processed in only three days each
week. Even at this rate the
dairy is only operating at half
of its 370 gallon-per-hour capaci
ty,” Arrington said.
The one part-time and five
full-time men are responsible for
seeing that the 650 gallons
milk that comes in from Texas
A&M’s own dairy farm each day
standards of cleanliness
quality.
The milk that is served goes
through five separate processes
before it reaches your table.
CUFrs MOTES. INC
Betfcaiy Sutiei. Liacd*. Nebr 68505
BATTALION CLASSIFIED
On* d
*4
WANT AD RATES
mj 44 per w
per word each additional day
Minimum charge—50*
DEADLINE
4 p.m. day before publication
Claaaified Display
904 per column inch
word
each insertion
FOR RENT
venient
Ideal for two student
after 6 :00 p. m., 846-8433.
con
center.
-6711:
221tfn
Room for rent—day, week or month. 107
Sulphur Springs, C.S. 846-4417. 220t4
Room for rent—with or without meals.
406 E. 27th. 206tfn
Call TA 3-8338 for beds, baby equipment,
party goods, invalid needs, tools, garden
A yard supplies. UNITED RENT-ALLS,
724 Villa Maria Rd. delivery service. 7 :30
a. m. to 6 :00 p. m., Mon. - Sat. I96tfn
VICTORIAN
APARTMENTS
Midway between Bryan &
A&M University
9 All General Electric built-ins
1 & 2 bedrooms with 1 or 1 Vi baths
• Central heat & air
• Large walk-in closets
• Beautiful courtyard with swimming
pool
9 Carpets & Drapes
0 carports & laundry facilities
0 Furnished or unfurnished
0 Resident manager. Apt. 1
401 Lake Phone 82S-203S
164tfn
WORK WANTED
Typing—Thesis experience. 823-8459.
218tfn
Typing, 823-6410.
LOST
A Gold Charm Bracelet, Saturday Oct. 9
at the U of H Football game. 826.00
reward. A. P. Gandy, 3621 S. West Loop
Fort Worth, Texas 76133. 220t4
Studies piling up?
Pause. Have a Coke.
Coca-Cola — with a lively lift
and never too sweet, refreshes best.
things PT)
better,^
^with
CoKe
Bottled under the authority of The Coca-Cola Company
by: Bryan Coca-Cola Bottling Co.
LEGAL NOTICE
NOTICE~TO~BIDDERS~
Sealed proposals addressed to the Honor
able Mayor and City Council of College
Station. Texas, will be received at the
office of Ran Boswell, City Manager, until
3 p.m. November 6, 1966 for furnish!
the following “addressing equipmen
complete on
training
One new model 6341 Graphotype machi
with light, to emboss Style BB and
plates, type style 28, as specified or equal.
FOR SALE
HONDA 306 motorcycle late 1966. Call
VI 6-8473 after 6:00 p. m. 221t4
NOTE TO GRADUATE STUDENTS
>t, call us for details of the
individual American familj
;red
company
propose; you accept or reject . . . C
RUSH at VI 6-6800 daytime, or VI 6-6121
at night. 220tfn
an individual American family can buy.
Offered by Texas’ largest life insurance
> high pressure: We merely
Call for
gh pressure: We
NOTICE OF BID SALE
Dump trucks, pick-up truck, stake bed
truck, garbage truck, school bus - use as a
camp, chairs, fire extinguishers, audi
torium chairs, display cases, electric tools,
student desk, minature locomotive, assorted
brass plumbing fitting, lounge chairs,
fans and many more items.
aled bids
ed
tor of Purchasing and stores, fci<£ U Build
ing, Asbury Street, until 10:00 A. M.
October 29, 1966. This equipment may be
inspected by contacting the Inventory Su
pervisor at the above address. For in
formation call VI 6-6122. The right is
reserved to reject any and all bids and to
waive any and all technicalities. 219t5
e Direc-
and Stores, B&U Build-
Gas range, good condition, $35.00. 846-
4798. 219t6
Almost new racing bike, 10 speeds, gold
color. Call Joe Franklin after 3:30 p. m.,
846-5694. 214tfn
FOR SALE BY OWNER
EXCELLENT INVESTMENT PROP
ERTY—2 story, both apartments now
rented, upstairs apt. is furnished. Buyer
could reside upstairs and rent from down-
J rs
doIi
le upstairs
stairs would pay off note. Convenient to
schools & A&M, 2 bedrooms, dining room,
kitchen & living room (Upstairs & Down
stairs), double garage with laundry room
& space for storage. Comer lot & a half.
Could add another apartment. 846-4814.
INSTRUCTIONS
LEARN TO READ FASTER—now form
ing a class, call TA 2-4726 between 7 & 9
p. m. for a discussion of details. 218t3
mg ''addressing equip!
site, including instruction and
ining of designated personnel:
One new model 1957 Addressograph
machine, basic machine to include 60
position selector, last plate stop, five figure
counter fifteen yard ribbon. In addition
to basic machine to include three column
lister set to write tax roll complete, six
figure numbering attachment with date
rra
above, to be arranged for Style BB. and
G plates, as specified or equal.
> wi
beri
be arrange
plates, as specific
One new SB-30 cabinet complete with
base top and drawers.
Proposals will be publicly opened and
read aloud in the Council Room of the
City Hall at 3:16 p.m. on the same date.
Any bid received after the above closing
time will be returned unopened.
City of College Station
S/Ernest Langford, Mayor
Attest: •
S/K. A. Manning, City Secretary
AUTO INSURANCE
FOR AGGIES:
Call: George Webb
Farmers Insurance Group
3400 S. College 823-8051
ATTENTION
January Graduates!
Deadline For Ordering:
Graduation Invitations
Oct. 29
Orders Taken From 9-4
Monday - Friday, At the
Cashiers Window
Memorial Student Center
HOME & CAR
RADIO REPAIRS
SALES & SERVICE
KEN'S RADIO & TV
303 W. 26th 822-2819
CHILD CARE
Experienced child care, references avail
able. 846-4798. 219tl8
Gregory’s Day Nursery—846-4005. 218tfn
Child Care with experience. Call for
information, 846-8161. 197tfn
Child care experienced, 846-7960. 192tfn
HUMPTY DUMPTY NURSERY. 3404
South College, State Licensed. Will be
for football games. TA 2-4803,
99tfn
open for football gan
Virginia D. Jones. R. N.
EMPLOYMENT
NOTICE
Designations as to sex in our Help Wanted
and Employment Agency columns are
made only (1) to indicate bona fide occupa
tional qualifications for employment which
an employer regards as reasonably neces
sary to the normal operation of his business
or enterprise, or (2) as a convenience to
our readers to let them know which posi
tions the advertiser believes would be of
more interest to one sex than the other
because of the work involved. Such desig
nations shall not be taken to indicate that
any advertiser intends or practices any un
lawful preference, limitation, specification
or discrimination in employment practices.
HELP WANTED
Assistant kitchen supervisor, cooks,
waiters and waitresses. Full or part time
work. Apply in person. Coach Norton's
219tfn
Pancake House.
Waitress Wanted: Apply in person at
The Ramada Inn.
208tfn
Part time help needed at Henry Brewer's
Gulf Service Station across from court
house in Bryan. 201tfn
R.N. to work 3-11 p.m. and 11-7 a.m.
and relief shift at Madison County Hos
pital. Starting salary $350.00 and np.
Meals provided; uniforms laundered. Con
tact B. Tugger, R.N. at VI 6-6498 after
6 p.m. I87tfn
For a pleasant glaze for ham,
iilute canned whole cranberry-
sauce with sherry.
TRANSMISSIONS
REPAIRED & EXCHANGED
Completely Guaranteed
LOWEST PRICES
118 S. Bryan —Bryan— 822-6874
SPECIAL,
Truck Load Prestone
$1.49 A GALLON
Limit Two
BRYAN OIL WHSE.
805 N. College (Highway 6, N.)
at 19th
AUTO REPAIRS
All Makes
Just Say:
“Charge It"
Cade Motor Co.
Ford Dealer
DAMAGED and UNCLAIMED
FREIGHT
(New Merchandise)
Furniture, Appliances, Bedding,
Tables, etc. A little of everything.
C & D SALVAGE
E. 32nd & S. Tabor 822-0605
GIL'S RADIO & TV
Sales: Curtis Mathis,
Westinghouse
Service: All makes and models,
including color T. V.
& multiplex F M
2403 S. College 822-0826
• Watch Repair
• Jewelry Repair
• Diamond Senior
Rings
• Senior Rings
Refinished
C. W. Varner & Sons
Jewelers
North Gate 846-5816
SPECIAL NOTICE
SUL ROSS LODGE NO. 1300 A.F. & A.M.
Called meeting Thursday.
October 28, at 7:00 p. m. The
Entered Apprentice Degree will
be conferred.
W. W. (Tex) Spurlock W.M
Joe Woolket Secy. 222(2
WHITE
Buy your toys and gifts from ......
AUTO SUPPLY, College Station. CASH
OR LAY-A-WAY. 846-6626.
Now Open—Belle'. Dining Hall—far
style meal, served daily—noon 11:00 a.
to 1:30 p. m., evening 6:00 p. m. - 1
m. Sunday dinner 12:00 - 2:00 p.
p. m. Sunday
Formerly Mis.
27th.
BaJl’s Dining Room,
Bi-City. Ink—Complete typing and print
ing .ervie.. 1001 S. Collage. TA 2-1121.
THE FACULTY & STAFF
of Texas A&M University
is invited to a
DANCE
Saturday, October 30
9:00 p. m. - 1:00 a. m.
at the
RAMADA INN
BALLROOM
$5.00 a Couple
Sponsored by the
ACADEMIC
ROUNDTABLE
Call 846-5573 after 4:00
p. m. for Reservations
DEER LEASES
Day deer hunting-—$10.00 and $15.00.
ith Highway 6. H. S.
221U
Fifteen miles south
Smith Jr., 826-2406.
SOSOLIKS
T. V., Radio, Phono., Car Radio
Transistor Radio Service
713 S. Main
822-1941
TYPEWRITERS
Rentals-Sales-Service
Terms
Distributors For:
Royal and Victor
Calculators &
Adding Machines
CATES
TYPEWRITER CO.
909 S. Main 822-6000
Shock Absorbers Installed
Most Cars $4.79
Outside house paint gal. _ $1.98
Latex interior paint gal — $2.59
Mufflers—Chevy, others
many models $5.98
50 ft. plastic hose 99<
Seat covers low as $3.98
full set.
Original equip, seat belts _ $3.98
Brake shoes—most cars
exchange $2.90
Oils — Quaker State, Pennzoil,
Amalie, Valvoline, RPM, Royal
Triton, Havoline. Enco, Uniflow,
Mobil, Gulf, Sinclair, Conoco,
Shell and others. All at real
low prices.
Rerefined oil Kty qt
Auto trans. oil 29<
Filters AC-Lee save 40%
AC - Champion - Autolite plugs
Tires — Low price every day —
Just check our price with any
other of equal quality.
Your Friedrich Dealer
Joe Faulk Auto Parts
220 E. 25th Bryan, Texas
Joe Faulk ’32