Cars Of The Future?
Mrs. Pat Flournoy chooses hers
On Campos
with
MaxShuIman
(Author of "I Waa a Teen-age Dwarf", "The Many
Loves of Dobie Gillis", etc.)
THE TRUE AND
HARROWING FACTS ABOUT RUSHING
It is well enoiign to sit in one’s Morris chair and theorize nlxmt
Mrority rushing, but if one really wishes to know the facts, one
must leave one’s Morris chair and go out into the field. (My
Morris chair, incidentally, was given to me by the Philip Morris
Company, makers of Marlboro Cigarettes. They are great
hearted folk, the makers of Marlboro Cigarettes, as millions of
you know who have enjoyed their excellent cigarettes. Only
from bountiful souls could come such mildness, such flavor,
such filters, such pleasure, as you will find in Marlboros! For
those who prefer crushproof boxes, Marlboro is available in
crushproof boxes. For those who prefer soft packs, Marlboro
is available in soft packs. For those who prefer to buy their
cigarettes in bulk, please contact Emmett R. Sigafoos, friendly
manager of our factory in Richmond, Virginia.)
But I digress. I was saying that in order to know the true
facts about sorority rushing, one must go into the field and
investigate. Consequently, I went hist week to the Indiana
College of Spot Welding and Relies I-ottros and interviewed
several million coeds, among them a lovely lass named Gerund
McKeever. (It is, incidentally, quite an interesting little story
about how she came to be named Gerund. It seems that her
father, Ralph T. McKeever, loved grammar lictter than any
thing in the world, and so he named all his children after parts
of speech. In addition to Gerund, there were three girls named
Preposition, Adverb, and Pronoun, and one boy named Dative
Case. The girls seemed not to be unduly depressed by their
names, but Dative Case, alas, grew steadily more morose and
was finally found one night dangling from a participle. After
this tragic event,- the father abandoned his practice of gram
matical nomenclature, and whatever children were subsequently
born to him—eight in all—were named Everett.)
. . *
But I digress. I was interviewing a lovely coed named
Gerund McKeever. “Gerund,” I said, “were you rushed by a
sorority?”
“Yes, mister,” she said, “I was rushed by a sorority.”
“Did they give you a high-pressure pitch?” I asked. “Did
they use the hard sell?”
“No, mister,” she replied. “It was all done with quiet dignity.
They simply bilked to me about the chapter and the girls for
about three minutes and then I pledged.”
“My goodness!” I said. “Three minutes is not very long for
a sales talk!”
“It is when they are holding you under water, mister,”
said Gerund.
“Well, Gerund,” I said, “how do you like the house?”
“I like the house fine, mister,” she replied. “But I don’t live
there. Unfortunately, they pledged more girls than they have
room for, so they arc sleeping some of us in the bell tower.”
“Isn’t that rather noisy?” I said.
“Only on the quarter-hour,” said Gerund.
“Well, Gerund,” I said, “it has certainly been a pleasure talk
ing to you,” I said.
“Likewise, mister,” she said, and with many a laugh and cheer
we went our separate ways—she to the campanile, I to the
Morris chair. i © iogi m»x simiman
*6#
The Philip Morris Company makes, in addition to Marlboro,
the new unfiliered, king-size Philip Morris Commander—•
choice tobacco, gently vacuum cleaned by a new process to
insure you the finest in smoking pleasure.
Colored Displays Show
Automobile Innovations
By ALAN PAYNE
Battalion News Editor
Seven full-color artists’ sketches
in the Texas Transportation Insti
tute Library exemplify in startling
detail future innovations in the
automobile industry.
The sketches, loaned the library
in the highway research center by
the U.S. Steel Corporation, have
been on campus since July.
They are being moved across the
nation from one college to another
and will be here around six
months, E. P. Segner, assistant
professor in the Department of
Civil Engineering, said today.
The first display, entitled “To
day a Mountain — Tomorrow a
Roadway,” shows huge tractors
and other construction machinei’y
leveling a mountain for a high
way. As in all displays, the prom
inence of steel and the steel indus
try is exemplified.
A second display shows an auto
matic road and how the driver will
be able to ride in his auto without
having to manually operate it.
The idea is based on a direct im
pulse system from the highway to
the car.
The third display, divided into
two portions, shows a dream-car
of the future in the factoi'y and
later on the open highway. The
car in no way resembles anything
on the nation’s highways at pres
ent.
Tomorrow’s sedan is featured in
the fourth display. The low, sleek
vehicle vaguely resembles a pres
ent-day jet plane. An outstanding
feature is its high wheels, yet it
is much lower than modern day
automobiles.
The fifth display illustrates the
farmer’s method of “tying up his
car” in the future. The car, with
fins almost as tall as the car, is
setting peacefully beside a piece
of farm equipment like a faithful
horse.
A heavy tug, designed primarily
for duties at airports, is featured
in the next display. This auto is
much shorter and more compact
than the other originals and also
serves a far more different pur
pose.
THE BATTALION
Thursday, October 12, 1961 College Station, Texas Page 5
Ducts, Fins Feature Autos
. . . artists’ sketches now on display
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