Thfi Battalion .c._ College Station (Brazos County), Texas
PAGE 2 Thursday, September 27, 1956
Dinner To Honor New Employees
Newcomers to the staff ami
faculty gf A&M College will be
honored with a dinner given in
their honor tonight at 7 SJO p. m.
in the MSC Ballroom.
New and old employees, faculty,
staff members and graduate stu
dents are invited to attend the
dinner sponsored by the Faculty
Dinner Club.
Music for the dinner will be
furnished by the Aggieland
Orchestra under the direction of
Bill Turner.
On Campus
with %
Max Qhvfaian
(Author o/ "Barefoot Boy With Check " etc.)
THE SEARCH FOR BRIDEY SIGAFOOS
It was a dullish evening at the Theta house. Mary
Ellen Krumbald was sticking pins in an effigy of the house
mother; Evelyn Zinsmaster was welding a manhole cover
to her charm bracelet; Algclica McKeesport was writing
a letter to Elvis Presley in blood. Like I saj*, it was a
dullish evening.
Suddenly Dolores Vladnay stood up and stamped her
foot. “Chaps,” she said to her sorors, “this is too yawn
making! Let’s do something gay and mad and wild and
different and gasp-making. Anybody got an idea?”
“No,” said the sorors, shaking their little sausage
curls.
“Think, chaps, think!” said Dolores and passed Philip
Morris Cigarettes to everybody, and if there ever was a
think-making smoke, it is today’s fresh and zestful and
yummy Philip Morris. Things come clear when you puff
a good, clean, natural Philip Morris — knots untie, dilem
mas dissolve, problems evaporate, cobwebs vanish, fog
disperses, and the benevolent sun pours radiance on a new
and dewy world. Oh, happy world! Oh, Philip Morris!
Oh, regular! Oh, long-size! Oh, get some already!
" One, two, Tlit'ce,
Now Geraldine Quidnunc, her drooping brain-cells
revivified by a good Philip Morris, leapt up and
cried, “Oh, I have a perfect gasser of an idea! Let’s
hypnotize somebody!”
“Oh, capital!” cried the sorors. “Oh, tingle-making!”
“Yes,” said Dolores Vladnay, “it is a splendid idea,
but hypnosis requires a pliant and malleable mind, and
we are all so strong and well-adjusted.”
At this point, in walked a young pledge named Alice
Bluegown. “Excuse me, mistresses,” said she, “I have
pnished making your beds, doing your homework, and
ironing your pleats. Will there be anything else?”
“Yes,” snapped Dolores Vladnay. “When I count to
three, you will be hypnotized.”
“Yes, excellency,” said Alice, bobbing a curtsey.
“One, two, three,” said Dolores.
Alice promptly went int;o a trance.
“Go back,” said Dolores. “Go back to your fifth birth
day, back to your birth, to before your birth, to your last
incarnation. ... Now, who are you?”
“My name is Bridey Sigafoos,” said Alice. “The year
is 1818, and I am in County Cork.”
“Coo!” said the sorors.
“How old are you?” asked Dolores. 7 £
* “I am seven,” said Alice. ■
“Whei'e is your mother?” asked Dolores.
“She got sol'd at the fair last year.”
“Coo!” said the sorors.
“Tell us about yourself,” said Dolores.
“I am five feet tall,” said Alice. “I have brown eyes,
and weigh 3200 pounds.”
“Coo!” said the sorors.
“Isn’t that rather heavy for a girl?” said Dolores.
“Who’s a girl?” said Alice. “I’m a black and white
guernsey.”
“Coo!” said the sorors.
“Moo!” said Bridey Sigafoos.
©Max Shulman, 1956
This, column is presented by the makers of Philip Morris,
who don't hold with hypnosis. We want you wide awake when
you try Philip Morris's natural, golden, true tobacco!
The Battalion
The Editorial Policy of The Battalion
Represents the Views of the Student Editors
What’s Cooking
The Battalion, dally newspaper of the Agricultural and Mechanical College of
Texas and the City of College Station, la published by students In the Office of Student
Publications as a non-profit educational service. The Director of Student Publications
Is Ross Strader. The governing body of all student publications of the A.&M. College
of Texas is the Student Publications Board. Faculty members are Dr. Carroll D.
paverty, Chairman; Prof. Donald D. Burchard, Prof. Tom Leland and Mr. Bennie
Zinn. Student members are John W. Gossett, Murray Milner, Jr., and Leighlus E.
Sheppard, Jr., Ex-officio members are Mr. Charles Roeber, and Ross Strader, Sec
retary. The Battalion Is published four times a week during the regular school year
and once a week during the summer and vacation and examination periods. Days of
publication are Tuesday through Friday for the regular school year and on Thursday
during the summee terns and during examination and vacation periods. The Battalion
is not published on the Wednesday immediately preeednig Easter or Thanksgiving. Sub
scription rates are 5J.50 per semester, $b.00 per school year, 56.50 per full
or 51.00 per month. Advertising rates furnished on request.
y T
Entered u second-class
■latter at Post Office at
College Station. Texas,
ander the Act of Con-
of March 3. 1870.
Member of:
The Associated Press
Texas Press Association
Represented nationally bj
National Advertising
Service*, Inc., a t Ndw
York City, Chicago, Lo*
Angeles, and San Fran
cisco.
The Associated Press is entitled exclusively to the use for republi
cation of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in
the paper and local news of spontaneous origin published herein. Rights
of republication of all other matter herein are also reserved.
News contributions may be made by telephone (VI 6-6618 or VI-
6-4910) or at the editorial office room, on the ground floor of the
YMCA. Classified ads may be placed by telephone (VI 6-6415) or at
the Student Publications Office, ground floor of the YMCA.
JIM BOWER 1 7 Editor
Dave McReynolds Managing Editor
Barry Hart .... Sports Editor
Welton J ones .... City Editoi
Connie Eekard, Leland Boyd, Jim Neighbors, Joe Tindel News Editors
Bernice Schnerr Society Editor
Don Bisett, J. B. McLeroy Staff Photographers
Kenneth George Circulation Manager
Maurice Olian CHS Sports Correspondent
The following clubs meet tuday:
7 p. m.
Baytown Hometown Club meets |
n room 127, Academic Building.
7:15 p. m.
Galveston Hometown Club meets
in room 128, Academic Building.
Van Zandt County Club meets in
Leggett Hall Lounge.
7:30 p. m.
Angelina County Club meets in
the YMCA Gay Room.
Midland Hometown Club meets
in YMCA Cashion Room.
Panola County Club meets in
YMCA.
Kaufman County Club meets in
YMCA.
Marshall Hometown Club meets
in room 103, Academic Building.
Port Authur Hometown Club
meets in room 105, Biological
Science Building.
Yankee Hometown Club meets
in YMCA.
Lubbock South Plains Club meets
in room 108, Academic Building.
Del Rio Hometotm Club raeetjs ip
room 201, YMCA.
Pasadena Hometown Club meets
in room 204, Academic Building.
Land of the Lakes Club meets in
room 2D, Memorial Student Center.
Lower Trinity Valley Club hieets
in room ,103, Academic Building.
Laredo Hometown Club meets
in room 224, Academic Building.
San Angelo-West Texas Home
town Club meets in room 203, Agri
culture Building.
Henderson County Club meets
in Bagley Hall, bottom floor.
Centex Hometown Club meets on
third floor of Academic Building.
8 p. m.
Dallas Hometown Club meets in
room 107, Biological Science Build
ing.
Port Arthur Hometown Club
meets in room 105, Biological
Science Building.
Time Not Specifi«d
East Texas Aggie Club meets in
room 307, Actfdemic Building,
Amarillo r Hometown Club meets
in room 3D, Memorial Student
Center.
Bell County Club meets in
Academic Building.
Brush County Club meet in
Birch Room, MSC.
South Central Texas Club meets
in room 208, Academic Building,
Guadalupe Valley Club ipeets in
room 113, Biological Science Build
ing.
Wheeler - Collinsworth County
Club meets in room 102, YMCA.
Lavaca County Club meets in
Academic Building.
Waco - McLennan A&M Club
meets in room 3C, MSC.
Grayson County Club meets in
room 106, Academic Building.
Stevenson Blasts At Ike
KANSAS CITY, UP* — Adlai
Stevenson accused President Eisen
hower l^st night “of consistent
rejection of the positive responsi
bilities of leadership” throughout
his administration.
With former President Truman
on hand to introduce him, the
Democratic nominee said “many
CADET SLOUCH by James Earle
i C&LL&fy
MAM to GfV& IO
W ANT ED
USEJJ
Slide Rules
LOUPOT’S
. ’Station \Brpakv’M
7 Valley, NebJ/Pt —A epu^le^ p^l,-
ed , thej r .car ; i n to ' a ; , s * sMtipti
hhre, .had the tank filled T^tp-r
jvvhicb the ear- drove off. <? TAg
jam latter ‘ recounted r hdyi-alp. milyh
away, his eyes fixed fjifm1y ; ,on-;Hi;.e
road, he asked his'.wif^fp li^it?a
cigaret for him.. No answer. r !;tII,e
took his eyes from thp road Jong
enough for a side glance *t; ; his
wife. No wife. He returned s to
the gas station to pick 'her. up. 17
A Couple of Firsts
PHONIX, Ariz. CP)—“This is the
first ticket for me in all my years
of driving,” a woman motorist told
Patrolman Andrew J. Best. “That’s
a coincidence, madam. This is the
first ticket I’ve ever written,”
replied Best, who stopped the wo
man for going through a red light
just an hour after he stalled work
ing as a policeman.
CIRCLE
THRU FRIDAY
“Flame of The
Islands”
Yvonne de Carlo
— ALSO —
“Come Next
Spring”
Steve Cochran
people have wondered how njuch
President Eisenhower has to do
with the Eisenhower administra
tion — sometimes the President
seemed to wonder himself.”
Stevenson flew here from Jack
sonville, Fla., where he jabbed at
the administration’s farm policy.
_ Ml H i M I.KO C i; >’» M tPM
— TUESDAY & FRIDAY —
“THE REVOLT OF
MAMIE STOVER”
with JANE RUSSELL
— Plus — :
“DOWN AMONG THE
SHELTERING PALMS”
with WILLIAM LUNDIGAN
W
9 ML a ©At..
Of course. Most
everyone does-^often.
Because a few moments
over ice-cold Coca-Cpla
refresh you so.
It's sparkling with natural goodness, pure and
wholesome—and naturally friendly to your figure.
Feci like having a Coke?
BOTUCO UNDER AUTHORITY Of THE COCA-COtA COMPANY I?
BRYAN COCA-COLA BOTTLING CO.
THURSDAY & FRIDAY
Meekfrengush
e»i*< >r TECMhncocon
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QUEEN
— DOUBLE FEATURE —
Bowery Boys f
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" • \ \ .. . * » ....
—-and— '>7 7-7
“Cross Channels?
The B.M.O.C. is here!
-CoW“ m a r«gi«t*r*<{ trada-wiark.
® 1954, THE COCA-COtA COMPANY
Big model on campus, that is. It*s the new
Arrow tlhivcrsity shirt. . . all-around choice
of smart college men, from button-down
collar in front;—to center button and full
boy pleat in back. And these men are realty
traveling jn style with their Arrow ties . . .
in the season’s highest ratjed patterns. 7
Oxford cloth shirt (in white and five muted
colors, including new “linen”), $5.00; Same
model in authentic tartan stripes, $5.95;
checks and stripes in cotton-rayon, $7.95.
ARROW
CASUAL WEAR
Tbps the campus poll
Hardly surprising. For here’s the shirt tliat
has everything the college crowd admires.
Button-down collar, both front and center
hack. Full box pleat. And what a selection
. .7 in . new subtle oxford colons and
broadcloth checks that go with every suit
you own. It’s the Arrow University..
Stop by-and see it today.
Shirt, from $5.00;
all-silk'oxford ties to match, $2.50.
W. S. D
108 X. MAIN
N. BRYAN