CAPTAIN JOE BORING—Aggie shortstop whose four
homers drove in six runs last weekend as A&M lost two
out of three to the Rice Owls.
On Campus
with
MaxShuIman
(Author of "Barefoot Boy With Cheek," etc.)
THE TRUE AND TYPICAL CASE OF
CHATSWORTH OSCEOLA
The school year draws to an end, and everybody is
wondering about the future — everybody, that is, except the
engineers. Today there is not a single engineer on a single
campus who has not received a dozen fabulous offers from
a dozen corporations.
All this, of course, you know. But do you know just how
fabulous these offers are? Do you have any idea how wildly
the corporations are competing? Let me cite for you the true
and typical case of Chatsworth Osceola, a true and typical
senior.
Chatsworth, walking across the M.I.T. campus one
day last week, was hailed by a man parked at the curb in a
yellow convertible studded with precious gemstones. “Hello,”
said the man. “I am Darien T. Sigafoos of the Sigafoos Bear
ing and Bushing Company. Do you like this car?”
“Yeah, hey,” said Chatsworth.
“It’s yours,” said Sigafoos.
“Thanks, hey,” said Chatsworth.
“Do you like Philip Morris?” said Sigafoos.
“Of corris!” said Chatswoi’th.
“Here is a pack,” said Sigafoos. “And a new pack will be
delivered to you at six-hour intervals every day as long as
you shall live.”
“Thanks, hey,” said Chatsworth.
“Does your wife like Philip Morris?” said Sigafoos.
“I’m not married,” said Chatsworth.
“Do you want to be?” said Sigafoos.
“What American boy doesn’t?” said Chatsworth.
Sigafoos pressed a button on the dashboard of the
convertible, and the trunk opened up, and out came a nubile
maiden with golden hair, flawless features, a perfect disposi
tion, and the appendix already removed. “This is Laurel
Geduldig,” said Sigafoos. “Would you like to marx'y her?”
“Is her appendix out?” said Chatsworth.
“Yes,” said Sigafoos.
“Okay,” said Chatsworth.
“Congratulations,” said Sigafoos. “And for the happy
bride, a pack of Philip Morris every six hours for the rest
of her life.”
“Thanks, hey,” said Laurel.
“Now then,” said Sigafoos to Chatsworth, “let’s get down
to business. My company will start you at $45,000 a year.
You will retire at full salary upon reaching the age of 28.
W'hen you start work, we will give you a three-story house
made of bullion, complete with a French Provincial swimming
pool. We will provide sitter service for all your children
until they are safely through puberty. We will guarantee to
keep your teeth in good repair; also the teeth of your wife
and children unto the third generation. We will send your
dentist a pack of Philip Morris every six hours as long as
he shall live.... Now, son. think carefully about this offei.
Meanwhile, hei'e is one thousand dollars in small, unmarked
bills, which places you under no obligation whatsoever.
“It certainly seems like a fair offer,” said Chatsworth.
“But there is something you should know. I am not an en
gineer. In fact, I don’t go to M.I.T. I am a poetry major
at Harvard. I just came over here on a bird walk.
“Oh.” said Sigafoos.
“I guess I don’t get to keep this money and the convertible
and Laurel now, do I ?” said Chatsworth.
“Of course you do,” said Sigafoos. “And if you’d like the
job, my offer still stands.” cMax shuiman. isos
The makers uf Bhili/i Morris, tcho s/torwor this column, are tit
lighted la kntnc that times are so goad far the engineers, in make
times even hotter —for the engineers and every hod J else it rt
m gentle suggestion : 1‘hilip Morris, of corris!
Bradley Hurls D Field
Into Intramural Finals
77/r> Ftfilfnlirm .... Cnllege Station (Brazos County), Texas
Tuesday, May 8, 1956 PAGE 3
By JOE BOYD
Battalion Sports Staff
Ronnie Bradley hurled potent D-
Field Artillery into the upperclass
man softball finals last night, edg
ing powerful A-Transportation 3-2.
C-Infantry entered the freshman
finals by blasting A-Composite 9-1.
Bradley struck out six men in an
evenly-pitted pitcher’s battle. Neal
Namken, A-TC’s mound master also
fanned six. Bradley allowed only
one hit in five innings of play,
Wayne Longe’s single for the tran
sportation team.
It was the seventh inning before
A-TC managed to score. First
baseman John Hendricks began his
trip around on another single.
Right fielder Fred Raby provided
the final circuit.
The artillery team connected
first in the fourth inning when first
sacker James Boyer made the
round trip, getting on base via an
error by TC shortstop Bobbie Har
dee. John Jefferson and Jerry Mc-
Gown tallied in the sixth with Mc-
Gown’s score deciding the game.
Artilleryman third baseman Jim
Spencer spearheaded the only
double play of the game, scooping
up Fred Ray’s short drive and fir
ing to second sacker James Teague.
Teague caught out John Hendricks
who had advanced to first on a
walk and threw to Boyer to retire
the side.
Harold Frits allowed only one
run as he pitched C-Infantry’s
freshman softballers over A-Com-
posite. Second baseman Billy
Presswood was leading run pro
ducer for the infantry nine scoring
three times. Presswood advanced
on a first inning hit, walked in the
second, and hit clean again in the
fourth.
Gerald Stringer completed the
infantry battery catching beauti
fully the entire game and account
ing for a second inning run after
being walked by composite pitcher
Tim Hubacek. First baseman
Lewis Zemanek made the lone com
posite score.
MELBOURNE—The Grace Kel
ly-Prince Rainier wedding appar
ently left little Monaco too bioke
to field a team for the 1956 Olym
pic Games.
Monaco advised Gen. William
Bridgford, the games’ executive
officer, it would not be repre
sented. The reason: “Lack of
funds.”
NEW Y’ORK—The assistant mi
nor league farm director of the
New York Giants said Monday
three Negro baseball players had
to be dumped by the Lake Charles,
La., club because the Evangeline
League found them “undesirable.”
Five Negroes—three with Lake
Charles and two with Lafayette,
La.—were cut from the rosters
DYERS'FUR STORAGE HATTERS
DIAL TA 2-1585
Students . . . Use Our Convenient Pick Up Stations
At Taylor’s Variety Store — North Gate
Tiger Baseballers
End Season Today
A&M Consolidated’s baseballers wind-up their season
at 4 p.m, today in Bellville in a game that will figure prom
inently in the outcome of the District 28-A title chase.
Consolidated, now tied for third in district standings,
will meet the Brahmas, currently deadlocked for first place.
The Tigers boast a 3-4 record
that is identical with that of
Columbus while Bellville’s 5-2
won-lost slate ties it with
Brenham for the district lead.
CHS will probably have an all
freshman battery today with hurl-
er Edgar Feldman firing his pitch
es to catcher Pete Rodriguez. The
rest of the Tiger starting lineup
finds Alton Arnold at first base,
Bobby Witcher or David McNeely
at second, George Carroll or Jack
McNeely at third, Bill Kavanaugh
or Manuel Garcia at shortstop.
In the outfield, Dick Hickman or
250.00
VISTA
Also $100 to 2475
,-Wedding Ring $10.00
Sankey Park
JEWELER
111 N. Main
Bryan
Bill Hite will battle for the start
ing left field position, Mike Mc
Guire starts in center and Bobby
Potts or Steadman Davis will open
in right.
Dick Hickman was CHS’ only
entry in the finals of the state
track meet at Austin last week
end. Hickman ran a 2:03 half-mile
in the preliminaries, and ranked
seventh in the finals with a 2:02
effort.
Consolidated’s Jo Anne Walker
lost a first round tennis match to
Jerri Lou Wright of Engleside,
6-4, 7-5 in the state tourney. Mar
garet Manthei and Betty Meade
teamed up in doubles and lost a
first round match to the defending
state champs, Ann Sitton and
Mary Griffin of Pyote, 6-1, 6-1.
I Sport Shorts
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
LOUISVILLE, Ky.—For the first
time in three years, a Kentucky
Derby winner is going after rac
ing’s triple crown.
Needles, says Trainer Hugh Fon
taine, should run better both in the
Preakness and the Belmont than
he did last Saturday.
★ ★ ★
LONDON — World light - heavy
weight champion Archie Moore
said Monday he will give up his
title if he whips Yolande Pompey
here June 5 and concentrate on
vanning the vacant world heavy
weight title.
★ ★ ★
FORT WORTH, Tex. —Tommy
Bolt and Gene Littler were devas
tating Monday in leading the Unit
ed States to a 514-314 victory over
Canada in four-ball play opening
the fifth annual international PGA
team matches.
ENGINEERS
Want to Stay in Texas?
Research and Development
Positions open for work ins
1. Gamma Ray Radiation Effects
2. Jet Engine Lpbricants and Fuels
3. Gear and Bearing Research
4. High Temperature Lubrication
Problems
5. Radioactive Tracer Technique for
Wear Studies
CONTACT FOR PERSONAL INTERVIEW:
Mr. John M. Clark, Jr.
Aviation Dept.
Southwest Research Institute
8500 Culebra Road
San Antonio, Texas
We need USED BOOKS
See us before you sell!
STUDENT CO-OP
North Gate
Bring your parents to the ...
SMORGASBORD
in the MSC Dining Room
SATURDAY, MAY 12
5:30 - 8 p.m.
HEY AGGIES — DON’T DELAY
Now Is The Time To Buy Your New 1956 . . .
MERCURY or FORD
GOOD DISCOUNTS ON STRAIGHT SALES
MORE FOR YOUR TRADE IN
For your convenience we have tried to work out some finance
plans whereby it will make it easier for you to get your new car.
For Example:
TWO MONTHS GIVEN FROM DELIVERY DATE UNTIL YOU
MAKE YOUR FIRST PAYMENT.
— Or —
YOUR FIRST THREE PAYMENTS AT ONLY $40.00 WITH THE
REGULAR PAYMENTS STARTING FOUR MONTHS FROM THE
TIME YOU TAKE DELIVERY.
— Or —
NO DOWN PAYMENT AT ALL IF YOU ARE A GRADUATING
SENIOR IN R.O.T.C. AND HAVE YOUR ORDERS TO GO INTO THE
SERVICE.
Don’t say I can’t buy a car, come by and see one of our sales
men at Bryan Motors, Highway 6 South. You will be surprised at
some of the deals I can work out for you. Call at TA 2-1605 in the
daytime or VI 6-7305 at night. Call for a demonstration ride at
any time. If you dont’ want a new car we always have a large
selection of clean used cars priced right.
BRYAN MOTOR CO.
Highway 6, South
Bryan, Texas
DRAW!!
T^Kosc old books
Out of ijauR.
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