A
th(
th<
lh Request for Restraint
The Battalion has always welcomed letters to the editor
and shall continue to do so in the future. But, because of
lack of space, the staff must make a request of potential and
actual writers.
Please try, if at all possible, to keep your letter to a
maximum of 250 words.
Writing- a letter can be very important to the individual,
for the effort calls for concentration of thoughts in order
to put these thoughts on paper.
So if you’ve something to say, or nothing to say but
want to say it anyway, we welcome your comments. But
please, not too wordy.
On Campus Max Qhukim
(Author of "Barefoot Boy With Cheek,” etc.)
The Battalion
Page 2
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 1956
HUSBANDS, ANYONE?
It has been alleged that coeds go to college for the sole pm-pose
of finding husbands. This is, of course, an infamous canard, and
I give fair warning that small and spongy as I am, anybody who
ever says such a dastardly thing when I am around had better
be prepared for a sound hiding!
Girls go to college for precisely the same reasons as men do:
to broaden their horizons, to lengthen their vistas, to drink at the
fount of wisdom, to trail their fingers in the main currents of
American thought. But if, by chance, while a girl is engaged in
these lofty pursuits, a likely looking husband should pop into
view, why, what’s wrong with that? Eh? What’s wrong with
that?
The question now arises, what should a girl look for in a hus
band? A great deal has been written on this subject. Some say
character is most important, some say background, some say
appearance, some say education. All are wrong.
The most important thing — bar none — in a husband is health.
Though he be handsome as Apollo and rich as Captain
McCutchen, what good is he if he just lays around all day
accumulating bedsores ?
of uunc/jtid limb
The very first thing to do upon meeting a man is to make sure
that he is sound of wind and limb. Before he has a chance to
beguile you with his wit and charm, slap a thermometer in his
mouth, roll back his eyelids, yank out his tongue, palpate his
thorax, rap his patella, ask him to straighten out a horseshoe
with his teeth. If he fails to pass these few basic tests, phone
for an ambulance and go on to the next prospect.
If, however, he turns out to be physically fit, proceed to the
second most important requirement in a husband. I refer to a
sense of humor.
A man who can’t take a joke is a man to be shunned. There are
several simple tests to find out whether your prospect can take
a joke or not. You can, for example, slash his tires. Or burn his
“Mad” comics. Or steal his switchblade. Or turn loose his pet
raccoon. Or shave his head.
After each of these merry pranks, laugh gaily and shout
“April Fool!” If he replies, “But this is November 28,” or some
thing equally churlish, cross him off your list and thank your
lucky stars you found out in time.
But if he laughs silverly and calls you “Little minx!” then
put him to the next test: Find out whether he is gentle. \
The easiest, quickest way to ascertain his gentleness is, of
course, to look at the cigarette he smokes. Is it mild? Is it
clement? Is it humane? Is it balm to the palate? Does it minister
tenderly to the taste-buds? Does it coddle the nerve-ends? Is it
the perfect accompaniment'to today’s easier, breezier living?
Is it genial? Is it bright and friendly and full of dulcet pleasure
from cock-crow till the heart of darkness?
Is it, in short, Philip Morris?
If Philip Morris it be, then clasp the man to your bosom with
hoops of steel, for you may be sure that he is gentle as a summer
breeze, gentle as a mother’s kiss, gentle to his very marrow.
And now, having found a man who is gentle and healthy and
blessed with a sense of humor, only one thing remains: namely,
to make sure he will always earn a handsome living. That,
fortunately, is very simple. Just enroll him in Engineering.
. ©Max Shulman. 1936
Tha makers of Philip (Morris, tvho bring you this column, would like
to suggest another pleasant and gentle life’s companion : Philip Morris,
of corris l
The Battalion
The Editorial Policy of The Battalion
Represents the Views of the Student Editors
The Battalion, daily newspaper of the Agricultural and Mechanical College of
Texas and the City of College Station, is published by students in the Office of Student
Publications as a non-profit educational service. The Director of Student Publications
is Ross Strader. The governing body of all student publications of the A.&M. College
of Texas is the Student Publications Board. Faculty members are Karl E. Elmquist.
Chairman; Donald D. Burchard, Tom Leland and Bennie Zinn. Student members
are Derrell H. Guiles, Paul Holladay. and Wayne Moore. Ex-officio members are
Charles Roeber, and Ross Strader, Secretary. The Battalion is published four times
a week during the regular school year and once a week during the summer and vacation
and examination periods. Days of jaiblication are Tuesday through Friday for the
regular school year and on Thursday during the summer terms and during examination
and vacation periods. The Battalion is not published on the Wednesday immediately
preceding Easter or Thanksgiving. Subscription rates are S3.50 per semester, $6.00
per school year, S6.50 per full year, or $1.00 per month. Advertising rates furnished
on request.
Represented nationally by
National Advertising
Services, Inc., a t New
York City, Chicago, Los
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The Associated Press is entitled exclusively to the use for republi
cation of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in
the paper and local news of spontaneous origin published herein. Rights
of republication of all other matter herein are also reserved.
News contributions may be made by telephone (VI 6-6618 or VI
6-4910) or at the editorial office room, 202 Goodwin Hall. Classified
ads may be placed by telephone (VI 6-6415) or at the Student Publica
tion Office, Room 207 Goodwin Hall.
BILL FULLERTON Editor
Ralph Cole Managing Editor
Ronnie Greathouse -.Sports Editor
Jim Bower, Dave McReynolds x...News Editors
Entered as second-class
matter at Post Office at
College Station, Texas,
under the Act of Con
gress of March 3, 1870.
Member of
The Associated Press
Battalion Readers Have More To Say
Editor, Battalion:
This letter is an attempt by one
Aggie to criticize a letter in last
Friday’s Battalion which was “an
attempt by three Aggies to criti
cize their school.”
The three correspondents were
in the audience last Wednesday
night that heard a concert by Hous
ton’s home-town classical band
(with strings).
These three Aggies think “Sir
Thomas Beecham, Bart.,” who beat
time throughout the evening,”
“brilliantly conducted the Houston
Symphony Orchestra.” I agree
that Sir Thomas did do that.
They say Sir Thomas “is one of
the foremost (perhaps the fore
most) conductors in the world.”
Having heard only a few of the
celebrated maestros conduct, I will
not venture an opinion. I have
read, though, that he is one of the
best.
These three Aggies think “The
Arts are the highest manifestations
of Man’s creativeness.” Bully!!
In simpler words I imagine I
would say about the same thing.
I agree wdioleheartedly with
them that Sir Thomas “deserved
the highest acclaim an audience is
capable of giving.” That “he re
ceived an insult” is preposterous.
That “Texas A&M suffered a set-
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back Wednesday night,” is so much
bunkum.
These three Aggies feel that
“continual applause between move
ments” was one of the sources of
insult. Few artists, I think, regard
it an insult to be applauded. It is
true that one does not forbid it,
however, and when the perform
ance merits it, separate movements
of a piece of music are often ap
plauded. Lack of sophistication is
not insulting. It is probably re
freshing to “Sir Thomas Beecham,
Bart.”
Their second point is perhaps
better taken. But here again, I’m
sure, it was not a matter of insult
but one of a lack of sophistication
or, perhaps, of good taste. The
three Aggies were disturbed by “a
wolf-whistle directed at the first
cellist.” I must admit that when
I read the letter, I too was disturb
ed momentarily, but was relieved
to see that the correspondents had
added parenthetically that the cel
list was “a young woman.” I am
sure that the Aggie who gave the
wolf-whistle, I did not hear it, en
joyed the concert twice as much as
those who enjoyed only the music.
I am sure that the first cellist en
joyed the concert twice as much
as the assistant cello soloist who
was not whistled at, for even
though she does play classical mu
sic, she is a female human Wing.
If Sir Thomas heard it, I do not
think he was insulted by it or held
A&M in less regard because of it.
He has probably run across far
more scandalous conduct at Oxford
or Cambridge.
It doesn’t pay to be too stuffy
and correct about anything. This
music was played to be enjoyed. I
think even though Wednesday
night’s program was pretty heavy
stuff for the uninitiated, it was
enjoyed. I don’t think anyone was
insulted, except possibly the as
sistant cello soloist and the other
ladies in the band (with strings)
who didn’t get a wolf-whistle.
John Otis Kirkpatrick ’56
P.S.—I do think that Sir Thomas
contributed more than a correct
beat to the performance.
Editor, Battalion:
Thank you so much for your en
lightening editorials on the race
situations. Your pattern of think
ing seems to follow closely that of
several Northern newspapers. As
an editor why don’t you do a little
positive thinking for a change and
stop sounding like all the rest half-
informed anti-segregationists. Nev
er before in a Southern crisis has
there been so little positive think
ing.
Most people, especially outside
the South, do not dig deep enough
to find the true reasons for segre-
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gation. They are not interested in
determining whether the dual sys
tem is to the best interest of both
races in the South. All that people
outside the South are concerned
with are the Till Murder Case, the
Sugar Bowl trouble, the Montgom
ery bus boycott and the rioting at
the University of Alabama. Not
one of the instances show the basic
merits of segregation, especially in
Southei-n education. The only
things these instances indicate are
isolated and temporary troubles
that are used to further prejudice
our antagonists and to give them
propaganda to be used against not
only the South but the nation as a
whole. Many people believe that
the only argument they can offer
against integration is physical re
sistance—this is where editors of
newspapers can best serve their
country. Not by presenting only
one side of the question, but by
showing the readers how this crisis
may be cleared up without violence.
The time has come for a “Decla
ration of Principles”—these prin
ciples do not necessarily have to be
a product of a legislative body,
they may be a “Declaration of
Principles” set by the individual
for himself. This should not be a
declaration of what will not be
done, but what will be done. The
people of the deep South simply
say, “We will not integrate.” Poli
tics should not enter this declara
tion, either. “The patriotic motive,
not the political motive must pre
vail.”
This should be an affirmative
declaration. It should clear up
some of the thinking relating to
the racial crisis. First of all, the
South must assert herself as being
firmly opposed to brutality, bigot
ry, intolerance, prejudice and law
lessness. Just to set the records
straight, let’s look at some of the
latest statistics of Mississippi.
They reveal that “six Negro deaths
were at the hands of white men,
eight white deaths were at the
hands of Negroes and 182 deaths
of Negroes were by members of
their own race.” Thanks to edi
torials and one-sided news stories,
the belief still continues through
out the world that the Southern
WILBUR JUST WOKE UP TO
THE FACT THAT HE S' IN CLASS!
KEEP ALERT FOR A
BETTER POINT AVERAGE!
Don’t let that “drowsy feel
ing” cramp your style in class
. . . or when you’re “hitting
the books”. Take a NoDoz
Awakener! In a few minutes,
you’ll be your normal best...
wide awake . . . alert! Your
doctor will tell you—NoDoz
Awakeners are safe as coffee.
Keep a pack handy!
LI’L ABNER
people are trying to annihilate by
butchex - y a mass race.
This “Declaration of Principles”
should boldly assert a program for
the continued improvement of the
Southern Negro. May I suggest,
Mr. Editoi-, that some time you
take a poll of the Southern Negroes
and find out how many of them
want their children to go to school
with whites. The school program
of the South should have, as its
ultimate aim, the determined provi
sion of the same educational facili
ties for both races — “brick for
brick, dollar for dollai - , degree for
degree.” Not only should this ap
ply to education, but justice too—
“acquittal for acquittal, peniten
tiary term for penitentiary term,
death sentence for death sentence
as the law and evidence decree”—
“justice under law irrespective of
the defendent.” Let’s take this
several more steps and have goals
of economic justice for all races.
It should be recognized, officially,
by all people everywhere that there
is no conflict between “. . . the dig
nity of the individual and the ideal
which upholds the maintenance of
racial integrity.”
The third thing that this declara
tion should bi-ing forth are the real
i-easons for the Southern “stub
bornness” to keep a dual system.
The people in America are led to
believe, by misrepresentation of the
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