True Confession Startles
Battalion Staff Writer
Most A&M students really get a
kick out of going all out for a real
fun-paeked football weekend.
First off, the student will travel
hundreds of miles to see his One-
And-Only and be with her the night
before, even though he does cut
several hours of classes.
Next, he travels to the town for
a real football game, but, before he
gets to the park, a slight automo
bile collision has to delay him so
he misses the first quarter. Upon
arriving in the stadium, the stu
dent suddenly finds the Aggies are
on top and he has really missed
some of the game.
Then, there comes a sprinkle of
rain and it’s move under the stands
or get rain on you and your girl,
so you move.
To end it all, the girl has to be
in by 1 a.m., so off you go as soon
as the game is over for a rip-roar
ing time, of driving.
Where else could you have such
a good time except at A&M ?
Ever add bits of anchovies to
eggs yuo are scrambling. Good!
On Campus
with
Max Qhvhnm
(Author of ''Barefoot Boy With Cheek,” etc.)
ANYONE FOR FOOTBALL?
Pancho Sigafoos, pale and sensitive, first saw Willa Ludovic,
lithe as a hazel wand and fair as the morn, outside a class in
money and banking. “Let us not hem and haw,” said Pancho to
Willa. “I adore you.”
“Thanks, hey,” said Willa, blushing prettily. “What position
do you play?”
“Position ?” said Pancho, looking at her askance. (The askance
is a ligament just behind the ear.)
*1302 3 poet—mit j "crieJ yjticjzo
“On the football team,” said Willa.
“Football!” cried Pancho, his lip curling in horror. “Football
is violence, and violence is the death of the mind. I am not a
football player. I am a poet.”
“So long, mac,” said Willa.
“Wait!” cried Pancho, clutching her lissome young forearm.
She placed her foot on his pelvis and wrenched herself free.
“I only go with football players,” she said and walked, shim
mering, into the setting sun.
Pancho went to his room and lit a cigarette and pondered his
vexing problem. What kind of cigarette did Pancho light? Why,
Philip Morris, of corris!
Philip Morris is always welcome, but never more than when
you are weary and* sore beset. When a fellow needs a friend,
when the h€art is dull and the biood runs like sorghum, when
darkness prevails, then, then above all, is the time for the mild
ness and gentleness that only Philip Morris can provide.
Pancho Sigafoos, his broken psyche welded, his fevered brow
cooled, his synapses restored after smoking a gentle Philip
Morris, came swiftly to a decision. Though he was rather small
for football (an even four feet) and somewhat overweight (370
pounds) he tried out for the team—and tried out with such pluck
and perseverance that he made it.
Pancho’s college opened the season against the Manhattan
School of Mines. The Miners were always a mettlesome foe, but
this year, strengthened by four exchange students from Gi
braltar who had been suckled by she-apes, they were especially
formidable. By the middle of the second quarter, the Miners had
wrought such havoc upon Pancho’s team that there was nobody
left on the bench but Pancho. And when the quarterback was
sent to the infirmary with his head driven into his ribcage, the
coach had no choice but to put Pancho in.
Pancho’s team-mates were not conspicuously cheered as the
little fellow took his place in the huddle. “Gentlemen,” said
Pancho, “some of you may regard poetry as sissy stuff, but
now in our most trying hour I can think of no words more apt
than these lines from Milton’s Paradise Lost: ‘All is not lost;
the unconquerable will and study of revenge, immortal hate, and
courage never to submit or yield!’ ”
So stirred was Pancho’s team by this fiery exhortation that
they threw themselves into the fray with utter abandon.
As a consequence, the entire squad was hospitalized before
the half. The college was forced to drop football. Willa Ludovic,
not having any football players to choose from, took up with
Pancho and soon discovered the beauty of his soul. Today they
are seen everywhere together—dancing, holding hands, smok
ing, smooching.
Smoking what? Why, Philin Morris, of corris!
©Max Shulman, 1955
The makers of Philip Morris, icho bring you this column each
week, remind ytm that the perfect companion to watching a foot
ball game is today's gentle Philip Morris.
The Battalion
The Editorial Policy of The Battalion
Represents the Views of the Student Editors
The Battalion, newspaper of the Agricultural and Mechanical
College of Texas and the City of College Station, is published by stu
dents four times a week during the regular school year. During the
summer terms The Battalion is published once a week, and during
examination and vacation periods, once a week. Days of publication
are Tuesday through Friday for the regular school year, Thursday
during the summer terms, and Thursday during examination and va
cation periods. The Battalion is not published on the Wednesday im
mediately preceding Easter or Thanksgiving. Subscription rates are
$3.50 per semester, $6.00 per school year, $6.50 per full year, or $1.00
per month. Advertising rates fumished on request.
Kntered a.s second-cla-ss
matter at Post Office at
ColleKe Station. Texas,
under the Act of Con-
Kress of March 3, 1870.
Member of
The Associated Press
Represented nationally by
Is' a t i o n a 1 Advertising:
Services, Inc., a. t New
York City, Chicago, Loa
Angeles, and San Fran
cisco.
The Associated Press is entitled exclusively to the use for republi
cation of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in
the paper and local news of spontaneous origin published herein. Rights
of republication of all other matter herein are also reserved.
News contributions may be made by telephone (4-5444 or 4-7604)
or at the editorial office room, 202 Goodwin Hall. Classified ads may
be placed by telephone (4-5324) or at the Student Publication Office,
Room 207 Goodwin Hall.
BILL FULLERTON .
Ralph Cole
Ronnie Greathouse
Don Shepard
Wei ton Jones
Barbara I’aitre
— Editor
Managing Editor
Sports Editor
News Editor
City Editor
— Woman’s Editor
Maurice Olian CHS Sports Correspondent i
Battalion Editorials
Page 2
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 1955
The MSC:
Chance To
Your
Help
Railroad Executive
Commends Band
The following is the contents of
a letter received from C. W.
Axtell, division passenger agent
for the Santa Fe Railway, by Dr.
David H. Morgan, president of the
college.
“We of the Santa Fe wish to
take this opportunity to express to
you the extreme pleasure we all so
enjoyed participating in the move
ment of the Aggie Band to Dos
Angeles and return.”
“We especially wish to compli
ment the students on their fine
conduct and their excellent obser
vation of safety rules and regula
tions, which, as you know, are so
highly important on a railroad. In
our past experience handling many
large group movements of this na-
A&M students get their big chance to show their long-
range interest in the school tomorrow and Thursday.
Needing money and asking, for the first time, for stu
dent’s help is the Memorial Student Center—the place where
everybody brings his “best girl” or parents to show off the
“best and most beautiful” thing at Texas A&M.
Many criticisms have been leveled at the Center. Most
of these have had to do with short courses and with the MSC’s
facilities not being devoted entirely to students. And most
of these criticisms have been caused by a misunderstanding
of the Center’s purposes.
Those who take pride in the MSC and wish to see it con
tinued in its present high standard have been working hard
to explain why certain programs are carried on there which
students sometimes don’t like. That short courses and con
ferences, part of A&M’s duty as a land-grant college, are held
at the Center was the purpose the State Legislature appro
priated money which enables students to enjoy the Student Slpri IVppIa/
Union we now have. OCI1* ilCCJ.j'
The original purposes of the MSC, as stated in its Con
stitution, included the providing of facilities for meetings,
short courses and conferences of the citizens of Texas, so as
to make the Center a functional unit in the educational and
cultural life of the state. It also provides an extra-curricular
program for students and staff; more adequate opportunity
for friendly association among students, former students,
faculty and friends of the college; and fosters the social and
cultural phases of student life.
It is hoped by all concerned that students have learned
something about the Center and of its problems. And it is
especially hoped that petty grieviances which a student may
have will be forgotten when he takes his ballot in hand to
morrow and Thursday.
The MSC is asking for help—help on a long-range basis.
Why not vote YES ?
President Blasted
WASHINGTON—Sen. Neely (D-
WVa) let loose a new blast at
President Eisenhower yesterday,
accusing him of playing a “num
bers game” in security risks “to
smear the Democratic party.” It
brought a sharp retort from Chair
man Young of the Civil Service
Commission. Young said he re
sented Neely’s crack at Eisenhow
er. “I think it’s in bad taste,” he
snapped. The exchange came dur
ing a hearing on the government’s
security program by a Senate Civil
Service subcommittee.
ture, we have never seen such a
group of clean, wholesome young
men.”
This was just one of many com
pliments paid to members of the
Band, to the football team and to
others from A&M at the game in
Los Angeles. Many instances of
courteousness and gentlemanly
bearing have been cited and re
ported to college officials.
For taking upon their shoulders
the responsibility of showing peo
ple who do not know much about
Texas A&M just what we have and
are, and for doing it in a manner
which has drawn, thus far, nothing
but praise, the entire group is to
be commended.
.... The Batt Staff
Safety Course
L. K. Jonas of Texas Engineer
ing Extension Service, will be in
charge of a course for safety supi
ervisors, to be held here Sept. 26-
30. The TEES is the sponsoring
organization.
Ty Cobb is the only major
leaguer ever to make more than
4,000 base hits.
K E Y S
Made While You
Wait
Student Co-op
Store
N. Gate
4-4114
World
News
By. THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
DENVER — An .eminent heart
specialist said after a new exami
nation of President Eisenhower
yesterday that prospects for his
complete recovei'y within two
months “are reasonably good” if
there are no complications. Dr.
Paul Dudley White said, that, bar
ring complications, the President
should be “physically able” to
serve a second term should he de
sire to seek it.
★ ★ ★
UNITED NATIONS — Soviet
Foreign Minister V. M. Molotov
and his chief aides pressed a
campaign yesterday to get a
positive decision on disarma
ment—Russian style—in the cur
rent session of the U.N. Assem
bly. Following up his Friday
speech, Molotov has been enter
taining other delegates at a
series of dinners and urging ac
tion on them in private talks.
★ ★ ★
BUENOS AIRES—President Ed
uardo Lonardi said yesterday the
future of the newspaper La Prensa
will be decided by the Argentine
courts. He w r as commenting on a
statement made in New York by
Alberto Gainza Paz, former editor
of the daily, which was expropriat
ed by the government of deposed
President Juan D. Peron in 1951.
★ ★ ★
BUENOS AIRES — The snag
that has halted Juan D. Peron’s
voyage into exile is an objection
from the new government to his
plans to live just across the
Argentine-Paraguayan border in
Asuncion, a high diplomatic
source said last night.
Want The Most For Yovir Money?
At age 22 you can purchase a $10,000 life insurance policy for $11.40
per month. ($3.30 per month will handle the premiums for the
first 9 months if you are hard up for cash — and there will be
no make up on premiums later.) You pay the $11.40 rate foi
ls years, and if you want to stop paying premiums then, we
issue you a paid-up policy for $4,090. (Or, you could take $1,810
in cash at that time.) If you let this $4,090 of paid-up insurance
ride until you reach retirement age 65, we will give you $3,006
in cash for it. . . . You paid in a total of only $2,052 in pre
miums during the 15 years, and for that you got: $10,000 of life
insurance for 15 years; $4,090 of life insurance for 28 more
years; and then got back $3,006 in cash. Not a bad deal, is it?
See if you can beat it! Texas’ largest life insurance company
guarantees every dollar in this policy, and the company has over
$560 million in assets that say they will do what they guarantee
to do. . . . See or call Eugene Rush, at the North Gate above
Aggieland Pharmacy, if you are interested. A College regulation
forbids insurance agents or their student representatives from
coming to a dormitory to talk with a student about insurance.
You wouldn’t want to buy a smuggled life insurance policy,
would you!
OPEN FOR ALL BANQUETS, DINNERS
RECEPTIONS, WEDDINGS AND LUNCHEONS
ALL by RESERVATION ONLY
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SPECIAL: Aggie Greens Highback
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We also measure to tailor-—Army and Air Force Uniforms
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