'v T 1 • : - St itr ■ ! 1 • • V ’ attalion IDRIALS FRIDAY. APRIL 1. 1ft- .¥ "T Page 2 a IT FRIDAY, APRIL 1, lft4ft ier, Statesman, Knightly Gentleman" ilg 1 lh .... .. •:, nee Sullivan Ross, Founder of Aggie Traditions Ml : Ine Day of Fm April Fool. ; I II Although jyou prtlbabl hoae words actually i?vrt • • • r X From history we should have learned won’t find the lessons of people who have lost their an anywhere in freedom because they could not criticize our news columns today, the thought is t^eir government and their friends, woven all through ea^h and every story, of the others who have prospered l 4lCor this is our annual April Fool’s edition in which we try to provide both ourselves and our readers wit| a nttle humor by poking fun at some of tW things we may begin to take too serious y day by day. ;In today’s papeij nof all the stories . . are farcial. The Frcant Page, Freshman us of oppression and injustice can flour- Page are free of imaginative news. But on the Elditorial Page, Pajge 3, and Sports Page, just read the stories, take them for what they are worth, and the devil take the hindmost. T j Aside from the humorous angle, we we faintly remember and whose author think good natured Cribbing can accom- we don’t recall, we leave this as the theme plish many other,;kood ends. People who of today’s Battalion, can laugh at themselves ijieVer grow rigid Laugh, and the world laughs with you, with self centeredness but keep the heal- -cry, and you cry alone, thy flexibility of being able to correct / The world has its share of sorrow; their own weaknesses as they see them. but never enough happiness of its own. and prospered by a cheerful and occasionally jesting attitude toward their problems of social contact and self control. We believe ihis principle can be nar rowed down to our own localities and our own personalities. Very little of the fung us of oppression and injustice can flour-^ ish under the white light of scorn and jest. To these principles of freedom of action and freedom from worry we devote this issue. \j' At the risk of badly misquoting a verse Michigan Grades Its Profs... “Michigan was witr^ui”—shouldn’t A &M be ^worried, i too?? Last^ December Michigan decided to ere Hally good :8l A&M conduc- find out if its teachbri teachers. In January, fairness in grading, and (4) J general ef fectiveness. I ' ? The average score of the 410 Michigan faculty members graded was 3.1 out of a possible 4.0. At the end of the year the ted a survey to discover jib 3 same thing— individual professors will be allowed to if our teachers are feally good teachers, 3ee their “report cards.” Since the first local |!h^k Was-made, fur- Dean Lloyd S. Woodburne of the Mich- ther surveys hav^I|ee|i:jrelegated to the igun "College of Literature, Science and indefinite abyss cjf in the fu- ^ said, "if u man is a brilliant scholar, he,must be a passable teacher. If a brilliant teacher, he must be a passable scholar.” According to the article, if he is all of one and none of the other, Michigan will want hlni no longer. - ture/' s . Apparently such |& Ifatiied educational institution as Michigan hAs decided that the student* arc In k position to observe and judge many adtioiiff pf the teacher which ago/many autipiisi p the departmcjht! heac have the opportupit|: tSd d might never rT .,cover. ! TIME magazihe, |w|k h reports the go ings-on at venerableUVJ student ratings f'would 1 in deciding faculty pro ■ -L.ir 11 teaching. The questipr Ann Arbor students lif i narking the professor 5 (1) clarity, (2) intpll^ ly thought, comes 3th land of leisure- v , —qr|~ ;f|ew easy going twist on taxation. (AF quote) This is the i season for daffy income lax returns and intqrna! revenue collector Harry Westover enfereq thi Written on thk Diego,” it reat gan, states the a major factor Jtions.” The ar.ti- Although A&M was among the first educational institutions in this region to begin student ratings, we seem to be fall ing to maintain the advantage which we gained in initiating the system. Are we ele adds that “ aibad^iMear after year now »»'“» to fail to hold » 8ecol,d 8u,Te >’' might Weil lead to dislt Michigan felt tha^t f ;|i^i|giht have placed too much emphasis on faculty members) ;tir Cholarship (in its 'Apt enough, on ibe which 7,500 dlput called for such points as ujal honesty, (3) If one Can judge the advisability of reg ular surveys from the actions of a first class university such as Michigan, the administration should make plans to con duct a survey about once in every 12 month period and at a “surprise” time so that there will be no “framing” on the part of the participants. “My total earnings last year were $620. Withholding tax was $1.10. where do we stand ? “If I owe you anything, holler—if you owe me anything, forget it.” (end quote) 1 this one today. >&ck ! of a cocktail ounge napkin And; signed “Goldie, San the script for the last IP' I FORMER BOY ill Still living Fh t|« j I , . ■ ' ■ lli.li ft f! L Sounds like she might have written 'Just Whistle” movie. JUS , ROBBING i (Kan.) Chief, j*t, probably.' ★ ★ Senator Abington said the taxation of liquor has reached the point of saturation, a point that is likewise reached by some ooktamMs* ' I of (’oilegc HUtloi}. i )\ty of Ooilcgc I'clduy aftmioi hUoii U oubllidii Ailvortlii j 'ear, S? jifatjMl The AeMOcUt lied to it or Right credited to it or c Nancy Lytle A r ™ d .. Joh , ni,to n . Etnil Bunjcs, H. C. Lacour. Corley Brown . r ' t in •Ktlnta, ‘ Wa. , Sclph. Marvin Staff Keportera Coalftt, .Co-Editors Wire Editor Data Coalett, Frank Cuihlnt. Oorjrc Charlton, Buddy Luce, Churk Mabel. H. C. Mkhalak. Mirvln Rlec, Carroll Trail.....— .Feature Writer* Bob “Sack" Spoade. Bill Pott* Sport* Editor* Leon Somer, Frank Simmon. Andy Matula. Saotty Swinney, Travb Brock, Ben Lumpkin, Frank Manitaaa .....Sports Reporter* Andy Davb Movie Editor Carl Thrift 4. i.^.—-—Circulation Manager Managing Edii Editorial ......it. romen'a Page v/m* ■ »••••*»* * — Kenneth Marak, "Sam Lanford, R. Morales. Fhmk Welch, C. W. Jennings Staff Cartoonists Jc# Trevino, Hardy Koss - Photo Engraven. ■V I .. /.I w ■ \ AND A-PECKIN 1 ■ki- . X'lti W kr* I V* , ./, k . ' 1 : ' k - 4 ft f General MacArthur Named! Replace Commandant At A mmm reuiton B in Jgb«n rnt comn guug*. a reported wio/ wvrv iwvii uohik ! pivniwven, dergtl^d apmc HI WH’ by exchunging pUces, Colontl word* ho Un«* Kbd that Boutner being named Supremo I bo JfPAaM** , A »"‘ J ^ J ''“ ‘ u ‘ ^ HqThe j Nh«ck to rkmM of the M the! CbrpN however, 1 n . Colonel of the Cormt he ho(i been expeetlni ** long lime. ■■ 'Ki i' I 'I' / /'t'' •' • /V- i The War Department announced low Mint Men over I today that General Douglaa Mac- Other aourcea reveal Arthur would goon replace Col- reanon Boutner waa fa onel H: L. Boatner aa commandant in Japan waa because at AAM, gnt command of the 1 The communique aaid that to get guagti. Several Cadets rid of them in true army atyle reported that they coul they were both being: promoted, deraUnd aome of the -V Allied Commander of the Oemvm*’i : 'The annownceaeai tion Forces in Japan. Mh ock to moal of the U waa reported that General^ th# C6/fMI however MacArthur had gewral pinna in! ( t h_ (or mind for the Cadet Coppa. First of thepe plana include the abolish ment of the Rosa Volunteem be/ tku t* cause their uniform might lie con- „! '* fused with that of a mesa hall tet A * M * waiter. Their chrome-plated riflea ■ v i will be used by 1 ' 1 - J — squad which will ulty Panel. A • >.VJ i MZf „ r m % by the new firing replace the Fac- 7/ T Cadet Admitted White, Penberthy Violently Oppose New Golf Course Into Hospital For Face Burn Ted Copeland, fire-eating Air Force Group commander, was admitted to the College Hospital last night, suffering from severe facial burns. “Mom” Foghorn,: the; hospitals head nurse, said that Copeland's burns would probably pot disfig ure him, but they were ^rious. He was feo badly burped, she said, that all (he nurses were calling him “Hot Lips” Copeland, j Copeland’s room-mate^ Dick Jo seph, revealed the, circumstances leading up to the bumpj. “Ted has been (aob)j trying to cut down on his smoking lately. Ho bought a pack of Chesterfields the other night and cut each of them in half. Tliat way ihe reduced his smoking by 50^i. But then the doggone things wen* so:short that he couldn't light ’em; without (sob) cooking his physiognomy. Never theless, he continued to i smoke the short little things. The purses have the right name for him.'j Copeland was coatucjed at the hospital Where he lay On his bed, smelling of unguertfimv “I was about to giyr up Ihe short cigarette* anyway,” he said, “1 saw my girl friend bud weekend, and she wouldn’t ImVe Anything to do with them. She saij that if I couldn't afford full-sixcd; cigarettes, I also probably couldn't afford to take her out, Gee, J’d :gladly get smoker’s hayk for Her! j \ “But I alfcady had the things,” he continued. “1 couldn't see throwing away perfectly good tobacco. I tried to smoke ’em up and be done with it. Hat my fare gave out before the Icigarettes did." The hospital authorities have given Copeland a pipe.! He is ex pected ;to recover swiftly. = • (- f— RISEd-BACK WAIST ct/t METAL SLIDE FASTENER \ / Khaki Slacks (it'jiiiiiit* Cnumirtbn Slack*, Mitiforizcd, luick jNN'kct flttps. AH MizeN. MCN« CUOTHIN4 fINCft lAft* !! A ./ THEfiTRi NOW LAST DAY j Double Bill ^Melo4y Time” i— and — “Bill and Coo"’ Birthday Week Starts Monday 6 BIG DAYS 6 BIG GIFTS 6 BIG PICTURES SATURDAY ONLY Double Bill A NIW LISSOM!, lAjCX \ Carson »OM*t M and hImo MnmwciNECOiMli BLACK MO ANTHONY QUINN IATHEKINE DfMlUfi^ gUNDAYONLY Made in Texag, for Texans, by Texans. ■; I //, /A J'-!. •; y ' Other plana include changing the title of the Colonel of the Corn* to “Supreme Commander pf the Corpa of Chdeta.” Thi* i - 5 if !' f adding to each ’V C. G. “Spike” White, director of Student Activities, and W. L. Pen berthy, dean of men, went on rec ord today as violently opposing the proposed Golf Course, Bishop Clements, “grand old man” of the Information Office, has announced “We’ve been opposed to such a waste of money since the matter was discussed by; the Board of Directors in San Antonio, last fall,” Dean Penberthy said. “At that time Spike and I went before the Board and said the Bryan Golf Course was close enough and pro vided adequate facilities for the few local golfers.” “I personally had Copies pf an old Batt editorial, which wds a- gainst the golf course, printed and sent to the Board meeting,” White chimed in. “We need this $76,000 too badly for other purposes,” they continu ed. "The fund could be well used to buy more Aggie Activity Ap preciation Tickets. More of our boys should see our good second- run movies, free." I > 4>hI (srad Program IjhIk New Studies Broad new courses were added to the Post Graduation Studies De partment yesterday, announced V. M,. Fairs*, department head. “Fascinating now studies never y before taught by this or any other/ college or university,” bubbled Faires. ■ k : / These n e w studies include courses in mixing drinks for cock tail parties, stag party etiquette, * love letter writing, and weight liftingAStudenta who are interest ed may contact Faires. of course would entail the add! of six ■ shoulder. MacArthur has been successful in quelling several uprisings in Japan, and it was thought that perhaps he could be effectively used in solving some of the major problems of the Oadet Corps, such as the stealing of the OD’s saber and removing of some of the yel- Boom Lowered On Culture Courses Sweeping changes in the ■ policy of the Veterans Administration are due to effect many local stu dents, Taylor Wilkins,-government representative, announced today. All non-technical courses are to be removed from the approved list at once. English, history, economic phychology, and all language sec tions will henceforth be forbidden to veterans going to school on the GI Bill, he said. This change of policy follows on a request by the college authori ties asking that the useless “cul ture 1 courses” be rendered unau thorized. “Those (ugh!) courses don't learn no one to make a dollar! Why make the kids take ’em?” u^pd Dr. T. F. Mayo of the AH Department. Wilkins said that the VA could not answer the question, so the courses are no longer open to vet erans. / , • Mi! ■ w Z&iid )UGLAS MccARl 'ji II ■V TP PALACE Bryan NOW SHOWING M ft PREVIEW TONIGHT 11:00 P.M UftAlttAl IKIUMttOXU restnti ft I BLYTH ‘ DUFF % BRENT .•a flDGAR BUCHANAN M OARWtU mm MMatU'iiMts** M tNar * mm mi itUMMMiaOIIM > SAT. 1‘RKVIKW 11 IMS. j LAST DAY Starts: 1:0(0, 2:55, 6:50, 9:05 It'll Plii* Cartoon Showing for ono'iimt tonight at 8:80 p..nj. “Congo bxLl” r PREVm TONIGHT ll Mil. SAT. THRU TUES. First Run—starts Balk: 3:20, 5:15, 7:10, 9:00. 1:40, 3:45, 5:50, 7:55, # J iu ■ /' AMI PAYNE :| ^ mil NNISELL , steium NNYIEN ■ if J- Nm*H* IM*w 1 -FroCMtofcT IE lASTEimi •tim s m wb k ! ! 11/ i Hm$ Production LY,i 7:$0 P.M. 1 ;1-1 ■ y. ■ >. if inn □ OF Wf 1' i 4*i> NEERS (fuion udent lEVljlE 4da sail nts, $1,25 , In advance at: ctivitleM Office LT. NIGHT * Monday 'M i i Plus Cartoon 1 Showing for qm Sail yL SAT. PBEVUB 11 : rirat Klin 11 i FAIRBANI a I-:/ Reagan Carson Arnold patkicia Neal WAYNE MORRIS VIRGINIA ROD I •ah RICHARD GREET4 a t '** 1 f 1*^1 Mr It imfrOf'iTi b gnirggiWBiWiil 1 t / s \, \ i W'" r !•' ii i PUI Jemal . CUAtON % ; l3SSn / ‘v ■ i: