PAGE 2
THE BATTALION
-TUESDAY, FEB. 6, 1940
The Battalion Parade of Opinion
Off the Record
STUDENT TRI-WEEKLY NEWSPAPER OP
TEXAS A. & M. COLLEGE
The Battalion, official newspaper of the Agricultural and
Mechanical College of Texas and the city of College Station, is
published three times weekly from September to June, issued
Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday mornings; and is published
weekly from June through August.
Entered as second-class matter at the Post Office at College
Station, Texas, under the Act of Congress of March 8, 1879.
Subscription rate, $8 a school year. Advertising rates upon
request.
Represented nationally by National Advertising Service, Inc.,
at New York City, Chicago, Boston, Los Angeles, and San
Francisco.
Office, Room 122, Administration Building. Telephone
t-6444.
1939 Member 1940
Dissociated GoUe6iate Press
BILL MURRAY _
LARRY WEHRLE_
James Critz
E. C. (Jeep) Oates
H. G. Howard
“Hub" Johnson
Philip Golman
John J. Moseley
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
ADVERTISING MANAGER
Associate Editor
Sports Editor
Circulation Manager
_ Intramural Editor
Staff Photographer
Staff Artist
TUESDAY STAFF
Char He Wilkinson Managing Editor
Bam Davenport - Asst. Advertising Manager
C. A. Montgomery Editorial Assistant
Junior Editors
Earle Shields — Don Andrews
Senior Sports Assistants
Cokinos — Jimmy James
Junior Advertising Solicitors
K. W. Hubbard J- D. Smith
Reportorial Staff
Bill Fitch, H. S. Hutchins, W. D. C. Jones, Joe Leach,
J. L. Morgan, Jerry Rolnick, J. C. Rominger, E. A. Sterling,
W. P. Walker, R. J. Warren
“Goodby Now, God--”
“God bless Mamma and Daddy, and goodbye
now, God, I’m going away to college,” said the
freshman on the night before leaving for school.
This quotation is supposed to be a joke, but
it’s not so funny when you stop to think there’s
a certain amount of truth in it. But youths of
college age are not so much growing away from
religion as from the church.
This is not so startling—skeptical youths, taught
to accept those things which are of practical value
to them, cannot be expected to be satisfied with
a religion too far removed from their daily prob
lems. The average college student considers church
a waste of time—it’s all right when there’s nothing
«else to be done. He believes he can stay at home
ion Sundays and be as good a Christian as if he
went to church and listened to texts he has heard
’hundreds of times. And as long as this is all the
church offers young people, they will continue to
.■stay away by the hundreds.
Most college students are not really irreligious
—they whnt something from their religion, some
thing more practical and tangible than an abstract
spiritual crutch. They want, and need a modern
ireligion that will help them find their way in a
ibusy world. —T. C. U. Skiff.
★
THE WHOLE STORY
In a little book containing only one hundred
and twelve words and entitled, “The Whole Story,”
James W. Elliott boiled down the gist of his com
plete series of Man Messages which were pub
lished regularly every week for many years.
And here are the one hundred and twelve words.
Men of Principle are the Principal Men . . .
Work is Life and Good Work is Good Life . . .
It isn’t what you know, but how well you
know how to use what you know that really
counts . . . For, Good Friend, the trouble in busi
ness is not the lack of men and ability—but the
terrible lack of ability of men to USE their abil
ity ... In life it is just as important to FORGET
some things as it is to remember others ... So
don’t forget to remember and always remember
to forget . . . And Keep on Keeping on. For you
.are judged by the Record that you Make—Not
kby Your Ability to Make a Record.
★
The WorkTs Most Careless People
We Americans are the world’s most careless
people when it comes to fire. Nowhere else in
the world is the “crime of fire” so prevalent.
A simple set of statistics readily proves this.
Fire loss in this country runs in the neighborhood
•of $2.00 per year for every man, woman and child
•of the population. By comparison, loss in Sweden
is 89 Cents per capita; loss in Great Britain is 82
cents; loss in Italy is 78 cents; loss in France is 61
cents, and loss in Germany is 11 cents. In other
words, we destroy more than twice as much property
with fire as is destroyed in the next highest coun
try—and close to 20 times as much as in the low
est on the list.
Here’s a case where alibis are no good. For
the greater percentage of all fires, great and
small, are the product of human carelessness. Some
body is thoughtless—somebody forgets—somebody
takes a chance. And a home or a factory goes up
in smoke. Human failure is the great fire breeder.
The record is the more shameful in that we
Americans have the best of all chances to fight
and lick fire. Organized fire prevention, supported
by insurance companies, fire marshals, civic or
ganizations and others has reached a high peak of
excellence in this country. Experts scour the coun
try searching out hazards—other experts fight
arson 24 hours a day—others examine machinery,
building materials, electric appliances and similar
commodities and draw up fire-resistant standards
of construction—others keep check on fire depart
ments, water facilities and alarm facilities. A wealth
of invaluable information is our for the asking.
We can’t pass the buck. Fire is our fault.
And fire can be prevented only by the concerted,
thinking efforts of us all.
★
New Books at College Library
Strecker—DISCOVERING OURSELVES.
Tressler—HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND
ALIENATE PEOPLE.
Tucker—MISS SUSIE SLAGLE’S.
Wallin—PERSONALITY MALADJUSTMENTS
AND MENTAL HYGIENE.
★
Doubtless the dictators think that Finland sets
a bad example by paying its debts.
A. S. U. Take it from the nation’s collegiate
editorial writers, the American Student Union has
pulled a boner. The organization of campus liberals
has drawn almost unanimous condemnation from
the college press for refusing to vote favorably on
a resolution condemning the Russian invasion of
Finland. The fire-drawing resolution was presented
at the Union’s recent national convention.
While the one-sided debate continues in the
press, the final determination of the Union’s stand
is being thrown back to the individual campus chap
ters. Alan Gottlieb, president of the Harvard chap
ter, has organized a national referendum of all
members. At this writing, the vote by chapters
stands even.
Here is a brief resume of the editorial thought
on the A. S. U. action:
Temple University News: “When all the ra
tionalizing is done, the one thing that is clearest
is that the A. S. U. refuses to recognize that Russia
is an aggressor along with Italy and Germany. The
‘boys’ have pulled a grave tactical blunder. By
refusing to pass an amendment to a resolution that
would have done no harm to their cause, they have
only lost in prestige in the minds of the average
student and the general public.”
The Dartmouth College Daily Dartmouth: “By
test and investigation, the A. S. U. is not a Com
munist organization. The vote at the convention
would make it appear so. By test and investigation,
the A. S. U. is a liberal and progressive organiza
tion. The vote at the convention would make it
appear otherwise. Unless the A. S. U. can return
to an honest liberalism, its career in American
colleges is at an end.”
The Ohio University Post: “Whether or not
the Union was morally justified in this action, we
disregard. The point is that they left themselves
open to attack by everyone who believes the or
ganization has a ‘pipeline from Moscow.’ Any
really worthwhile projects the A. S. U. may sponsor
now are bound to be condemned as ‘subversive’ or
‘Communistic’.”
The University of Nebraska Daily Nebraskan:
“Discarding the theory of the Dies Committee that
the Union is under the thumb of the Third Inter
national in Moscow, it appears that the A. S. U.
has degenerated from an outspoken but ineffectual
debating society into an organization lacking even
the courage to pass a positive resolution. Ordi
narily college minds do not function in that way.”
The Syracuse University Daily Orange: “Its
latest action will probably clinch the opinions of
many doubters, who will point out that the A. S.
U. must be allied in sympathy with Russia, since
members fail to condemn the Soviet state’s clear
action as an aggressor. Only reason the A. S. U.
gave for its action was that the ‘convention should
wait for a true valuation of conditions in Finland
and Russia.’ But the A. S. U. has never waited be
fore. It has rushed in with wholesale condemna
tions where angels feared to tread. But those con
demnations dealt with Fascist aggressions. Is Com
munist aggression something different?”
All collegians are waiting with interest—and
hope, as the views expressed above indicate—the out
come of the referendum now being conducted by the
organization.
MAN, YOUR MANNERS—
St. Valentine’s Day is not far off. Flowers
make the loveliest Valentine you can send to your
girl; in fact, there is scarcely a situation that
flowers are not the most suitable messenger of
friendship or sympathy or love that we can send.
When you send a gardenia corsage to your girl
for a dance, don’t send more than three, as that is
all a young lady can wear and look smart; two in
a corsage on an evening dress is perfection, and
one for the street dress is correct.
As the World Turns...
The Democratic national committee met in
Washington on Monday for the purpose of choos
ing a city in which to hold the 1940 convention.
Philadelphia, Chicago, San Francisco, and perhaps
other cities entered bid for the convention. Mem
bers of the national committee are
in general friends of President Roose
velt, and many of them were out
spoken in their belief that he should
seek a third term. Others were
doubtful of the wisdom of such a
move on his part. Alaska’s six dele
gates to the convention, which w ill
meet in August or September, have
been chosen, and are instructed to
vote for a third term for Roosevelt.
The President now needs only 550
Steen more votes to assure himself of a
third nomination by the Democratic party.
* * *
In an address last Friday evening Herbert
Hoover increased by fire the famed horsemen of
whom Ibanez wrote: War, Death, Famine, and
Pestilence are the horsemen of the Apocalypse. To
this dread troop Hoover added Imperialism, the
destroyer of the independence of nations; Intol
erance, the destroyer of minorities; Statism, the
destroyer of personal liberty; Atheism, the destroy
er of faith; and Hate, the destroyer of the unity
of mankind.
* * *
Germans were not permitted to listen to Win
ston Churchill’s recent address, but a recording of
the speech is now being broadcast over German sta
tions. The recording has been edited for German
consumption, however, by drowning out the more
important portions with enthusiastic “boos.” The
announcer interrupts the record after each out
burst of booing to assure his listeners that this
is the reception given the speech by citizens of
“starving England.”
* * *
It seems that nothing is free from the effects
of war. Because of the fact that paper is being
rationed British publishers are having to curtail
their spring book lists. The books that do appear
will have small type, narrow margins, and fewer
end pages. The paper also will be of inferior qual
ity.
‘‘Johnson, when was the last time you emptied that cart?”
BACKWASH
B«
George Fuermann
"Backwash: An agitation resulting from some action or occurrence."—Webster.
In passing . . . M. W. “Buck”
Castleberry is telling about the
freshman who wondered if “A
grass widow is the wife of a vege
tarian.” . . . Check up and see
how you stand—here’s the order
of the ten most
desirable quali
ties to be sought
for in a prospec
tive husband ac
cording to a na
tional poll of col-
|Mg(BHEft| lege and univer-
flk sity coeds: Hon-
* esty, ambition,
Fuermann disposition,
health, education,
ability in business, mutual intel
lectual interests, natural mental
ability (common sense), good per
sonal appearance, and abstinence
from use of alcohol. . . . And—
via letter—here’s a T.S.C.W.-ite’s
view on the final examination sit
uation: “Call up a picture of me—
a dejected little rag, bone, and
hank of hair, just emerged from
that heated institution, A. FINAL
EXAM; my fingers _ worn to the
stump from bulling the prof about
facts and figures, knowledge of
which I had none.” . . . The same
belle further points but that, “I’m
just a female among many females
and don’t even knew but what an
Aggie’s kiss is a businesslike peck
or not.” . . . “The three most de
pendable feminine occupations,”
Jimmy James says, “are chang
ing her clothes, her mind, and—
her name!”
•
Now it’s your turn:
Final exams—or any other
exams for that matter—always
bring on a fresh crop of ‘boner’
answers, and the current siege is
no exception. Witness, for exam
ple, the following collection which
came from four Aggie profs:
“A compliment is when you say
something to another which he and
we know is not true.”
“Faith is that quality which
helps us believe something we know
to be untrue.”
“To germinate is to become a
naturalized German.”
“Catherine the Great’s husband
was hung by her supporters.”
“When Browning’s wife died he
was very much put out.”
“Isinglass is a whitish substance
made from the bladders of sur
geons.”
“The letters MD means ‘Ment
ally deficient!”
“A miracle is something that
somebody does that can’t be done.”
“IVIussolini is a sort of material
used in the making of ladies’ stock
ings.”
“An axiom is a thing that is
so visible that it is not necessary
to see it.”
“A circle is a line that meets
its other end without ending.”
“The Kodak is the Bible of the
Mohammedans.”
“About this time Henry went
mad and bore a son.”
“To stop a nosebleed stand on
your head until your heart stops
bleeding.”
“A sincere friend is one that
says nasty things to your face in
stead of to your back.”
“Moses was the first man to
study the economy of time and mo
tion in respect to large-scale man
ufacturing.”
•
Well, there’s no accounting for
taste:
A Cavalry junior, inspired by
an article in a national weekly,
recently asked his date why she
wore lipstick. Evidently being
caught off guard, the girl came
back with, “I like the taste of
it.” Still not satisfied, the Ag
gie pressed her further by asking
if lipstick merely served as a re
serve food supply. “Certainly,”
she indignantly replied, “Don’t be
surprised if you see me biting
chunks out of my lipstick before
the night is over!”
•
John Collier studies for a final
exam:
True enough, it is nothing out of
the usual order of things in itself,
but now many students call time
out from their cramming orgy at
3 o’clock in the morning to write
poetry? Statistics show that not
one in 7,844,563 would do so—but
John did! A typical example of
what runs through students’ minds
while preparing for the semi
annual ordeal, here’s John,s first
attempt at versing:
Ode vs. Odor, or Thought On
The Night Before
Pencils and pens and sliderules
slick,
Tablets and tables and arithmetic.
Problems and formulas and square-
root signs,
Lipstick and powder and valentines.
Combinations and progressions and
habits bad,
Hours and credtis and term grades
sad.
Houston and College and dates for
me,
Pictures of girls I’d like to see.
Kisses and sighs and a lover’s
parting,
Mindnight and coffee and finals
starting.
Whorls and squirels and hair to
tear,
Pistols and poison and Gabriel’s
stair.
Could I but see you and drink in
your charm,
To hear you and have you and lean
on your arm,
A flight to a world not had in a
wish,
A fancy so beautiful now is my
dish.
For in the morning I go, my brain
in a boil,
To give out with vigor the fruit
of my toil.
I’ll bum up the paper with my
fingers fast,
And hope that my standing will
not suffer at last.
Failures and falterings and classes
to make,
Bones and fingers and backs to
break.
Eyes and ears and nails to trim,
May God have mercy, for I’m trust
ing in him—
One of the funniest shows I’ve
seen in a long time is “His Girl
Friday” at the Palace for the last
time today. If you have not seen
it yet, I recommend that you do so
before it is too late. There are
gags and funny cracks in every
line of the dialogue. Rosalind
Russell is my girl Friday, Sat
urday, and every other day in the
week.
Zorina! You’ve probably heard
the name before, many times, in
magazines and ads. In fact, you
probably have heard that ’girl’s
name more than the title of the
show she appears in, “ON YOUR
TOES.” She is the Norwegian
girl someone found and brought
to Broadway to play in the stage
play “I Married an Angel.” In
case you cannot find out anywhere
else, and I don’t think you can,
her real name is Brigitta Hartwig.
So good was she that the producer
put her in a mediocre show hoping
she would carry through on her
own. That more or less hurt her
chances of immediately becoming a
big star, but she will be one some
day, just watch.
“GULLIVER’S TRAVELS” has
been put out as a full-length show
by Max Fleischer, and is good en
tertainment, but I still think they
are trying to steal Walter Disney's
thunder. When Disney put out
‘Snow White and the Seven
Dwarfs,” he started something new.
His latest is “Pinnochio,” a story
of a puppet brought to life. My
idea is that when “Pinnochio” gets
around it will show up “Gulliver’s
Travels” for what it is.
Everyone, I suppose, has read
Jonathan Swift’s original “Gulli
ver’s Travels,” the children’s story
that contained some of the most
vicious satire ever written, about
Gulliver and his adventures in
four countries. The show only deals
with his stay in Lilliput, the
country of the tiny people. I pre
sume Paramount intends making
sequels. In the show the Lillipu
tians are at war with King Bombo
because he and King Little of
Lilliput could not agree on the
song to sing at the wedding of the
prince and the princess. Gulliver
breaks in on the scene, astounds
the people of both countries with
his size, and then solves their prob
lems for them.
WHATS SHOWING
AT THE ASSEMBLY HALL
Tuesday and Wednesday—
“ON YOUR TOES,” with
Zorina, Eddie Albert, and
Alan Hale.
AT THE PALACE
Beginning Wednesday —
“GULLIVER’S TRAVELS,”
starring Lemuel Gulliver,
King Little of Lilliput, and
Gabby, the town crier.
AT THE QUEEN
Tuesday and Wednesday—
“EARL OF CHICAGO,” with
Robert Montgomery.
LaSalle
Barber Shop
Stewart—O’Conner—Jones
DYERS
HATTERS
AMERICAN-STEAM
AUNDRY
seKjd it TO the LAUNDRY
DRY ♦ ♦ CLEANERS
PHONE 58 5 BRYAN
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