- r V r •=i * U .* ' / ; / % i \ i r I k LONESOME? ^ f mm. ~ | I I ll \ I ' • ' Deserted Heart* Column DESERTED BY 41 THORS D«ar Grief Personified: | | The situation is entirely out of our hands. We you send in your application to the War Department, at Washington, D. C. for a battery of 7$*a and issue a call for volunteers id conquer your little world. No, on second thought, don’t even jot to see her. Forget about her—she probably has half the rest of Aggieland on her line anyway. HoUtight, Miss. i Dear Merchants: My boyfriend H the first girl he has certain technique. I should believe him? 10 is a senior at A. 4 M. tells me I’m •UV] kissed. However, since he has that Ml. j doubtful. Do you suggest that I Are you having trouble keeping that wench on the line? Are you wondering if you are ehump enough to have your present girl for companionship in year old age—and a means of support? On,winter nights, when the landlord throws the Distressed Dear Distraaght I >a*nscj: The next time you go riding with this snake in a uniform (quote from T. S. C. pf.), take careful notice, and if he i . .. - 1 . * ± + L T . a a viss &• •## csr^iui noiice, HHu IT fit; CO.I .t the furn.ee with the door. doMf wttl you har. youi' .hifu rear, from dim foot, can uae both hand, -^1]^ IOV» ♦ n kcaon vnt I tarm r-m * I 9 ..... . love to keep you warm? If you have been deserted, and yeur heart has a crevice in it big enough for a locomotive to roll thitnikh. send ua a picture of yourself in a bathing sail Paste picture faoe down on a top from one 60c box of Deserted Hearts Emotion Stimulation Preparation and send it to us immediately of not sooner, and we will tell youjeapttly what to do to cure your troubles. The Love Merchants are disqualified professors hold ing a L. S. T. degree (Love ScicacS. and Tactics 1 from Hare- belly U. at Bouncing-on-the-floor, Ida. and are establishing s Deserted Hearts Column in this magasine—much to the disgust of odr unvoluminous readers and editor.; Many a happy marriage has been wrecked an the rocks of sex ignorance. Don’t let “not knowing” undermine your chances of wedded bliss—come Uf us fbr private Interviews if this column does not satisfy your soul (with the rock at^i roll). Following are some letters sent to us suckers who wish to be enlightened oa why they don't i • II I • HI superb rata. * • I ' * ‘ jh ISqaaaky 'Springs, Ark. Dear Doctof«$j I 1 I r 1 ! Ever since 1 got hitched to thM ole maid up here, I ben havt|i trouble. She is 14 yarn ole and got teiiu of them new modem ideam like my corn likker is goipg to rain my stummick. Wot*ll I do, tell that ole bag she'l as looney as a day ole colt? Bein as how yo all air frum that thar A. A M., 1 think that yb all cud give me a sugleschun* on as to how I cud ke?p frum my stumnick. I can’t min my stummick—wot’ll I eat with? L M. Corny fumbling, and suggests silly things like going to see a show In the woods, then we suggest you doubt his integrity. • 1 Jjj In j | Somewhere in U: S. A, I>e4|r Merchants: I have a aew boy friend that I have known for a rm nth. ! don’t know much about him but he is going graduate from A. 4 M. in June and will soon be making lot of money, so he tells me. Now he wants me to him. WhAt should my answer be? Ima Nisewan * 1 ' 1 I L Degi Ima; Haven’t you heard the one about the Aggie and the inao-i » cent little college girl yet?. Hickman’s Hock Hoi# If College Station, Texas ! n-\ • >.; ; r '\\ Dear Doctors: Interest < ycair complete wardrobe is long (24 hours). Must we remind you again that it $50.00—a loan of < h> with $1.00 a day interest. Next time a threat, I Take All (and then so overdue runs to f. Dear Doused; 1 Wot the hell. -I \* it doesn't make any diff snynow—your coat will cover your stomach of), and as far as eating is concerned—why cat when there is drink to be had? (Author’s note—these sU can’t be good—hasmm, did we say a|l ? ) ?*km* MtiU,\Texa» l \ Dear Docs: ,