16
THK BATTALION
Abe’8 boy, I key, was in the outer office when a
telegram arrived, and the stenoKrapher called out: “A
wire from salesman Bernstein.
“Head it aloud to me,” the boss called back from
the inner room. So she started:
V‘Was in Dallas Monday, stop l** in Houston Wed
nesday, stop be in New Orleans Thursday, stop—
Here Abe interrupted, calling to his son: “Ikey,
leave that girl alone and let her read that telegram."
» “Harry surprised me by telling me we were going
to spend our honeymoon in France.”
“How nice, and how did he spring it on you?”
“He said that as soon as we were married he would
show me where he was wounded in the war.”
- - 1 ' • /
i /
Doctor: “You must avoid all forms of excitement..
Male patient: “But. Doctor, can’t 1 even took at
thefn on the street?”
\
\ | k /
Teachers “Now, Joh^ngie, what happened w hen the
cow jumped over the moon?”
Johnnie: “Somebody got an idea for vanishing
“Do you rhumba?“
“No, that was my stomach.”
cream.
“What fo’ dat doctah x*omin’ out* youah house?”
“Ah dunno but Ah thinks Ah’s got an inkling.”
1
“Then there were the two Jews who went into a
partnership and had as a clause of their agreement,
“In case of bankruptcy, the profits shall 1h* divided
equally.”*
—Puppet
“Houses, like dogs, are man’s !>est friends,” said
someope. But they’re wrong, because who the hetl
wants to come home and have a horse jump in his lap?
—Aw gw an
Woman (telephoning to desk clerk) : There’s a rat
.in my room.
Hotel clerk: Make him come down and register.
• ‘ ♦ -
—Exchange
The professor rapped on his desk and yelled:.
^“Gentlement, order!”
The entire class shouted: “Beer!”
That fellow is a human dynamo. Everything he
has on is charged. ^
“1 cannot understand why you call yourself a kind
father,” he wrote his dad, “when you haven’t sent me
a check for three weeks. What kind of a kindness do
you call that?”
"That’s unremitting kindness.” wrote, the father
in hfs next letter.
—The Oil Weekly
J 3
“Your methods of cultivation are hopelessly out od
date,’ said the youthful student of agriculture to the
old farmer. “Take that tree over there. I’d be aston
ished if you got eight pounds of apples from it in one
season.”
“So would I,” blandly leplied the farmer. “It’s a
pear tree.” 1
—IJrivol
The Oil Weekly