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November 14, 1934
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Mother: What did Father say when you toUl him
you wrecke<i his ear?
Son: Shall 1 leave out the swear words?
Mother: Yes.
Son: Well, he didn't say anything.
—Pointer
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She: What’s your name?
He: Tom Swift.
She: You can’t fool me. Where’s your electri.'
rifle ?
—Cornell Widow’
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Guide (in museum) : This is the famous “Antfelus’'
by Millet.
Visitor: Well 1 never! Tin* man had the nerve to
copy that calendar picture that’s !>een hanging in our
kitchen for the last dozen years.
—Kittv Kat
“Well, isn’t this a biology lab?’
‘.‘What sort of tooth brush <kfyou want?"
*‘l>emme have a big one; there’s thirty men in our
fraternity."
—Wampus
Precocious child: Father, is it correct to say that
ours is a government of the people, by the people, and
far the people?
Weary father: Hardly, my l>oy. Correctly speak
ing, it’s of the people, by the office-holders, and for th**
politicians.
—Exchange
“Bridget, didn't I hear you quarreling with the
jmilkman?"
“Nope, 1 just inquired after the. health of his
sweetie." ».
“Yes, and how—’’
“I says—‘How’s the milkmaid?’ An’ he got in a
temper anc^aid, ‘That’s a trade secret’!"
—The Oil Weekly
MY LOST LOVE
♦ ,
So l»eautiful you are, tny winsome miss
So t>eautfiful, and to the nth degree.
But for all your grace and shapliness
You’re not the gal for me;
So tightly, firmly I did clasp you in my arms
As we danced that slow sweet tune
My heart was lost to your seductive charms
Alas, you spoke too soon. I ; ’
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For wondrous plans of mine were smashed to bits
That night when you did harshly tell ^
That you desired to leave—to call it qHits: ^
“Let’s scram—my corns, they hurt like hell!**
>oc: “When did yo^ first suspect that your hu;;-
_ was not all right meriully?"
Mrs. Jones: “When he sp4*pk the hall tree and be
gan feeling around on the floor for apples.”
band
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