I
The difference between a pessimist and an op
timist is that a pessimist says all women are immoral
and an optimist merely hopes so.
—Buccaneer
TEMPI'S FI GITS
Every day now K<miK faster
Speeds the time unto disaster,
v\Vhen with pencil poised and stationed
Over paper thickly rationed;
Guided on by nervous fingers
And a brain that sticks and lingers; y
Setting down in hieroglyphic
Thoughts that are not too prolific;
Students write with little zest
What is called the final test.*
—Ski-U-Mah
i y
Some girls are not afraid of mice; other girls
have pretty legs. - j
——Awgwan
THE BATTALION
Former—Say old man. can you let me have
five ....
Latter—No . . .
Former— .... minutes of your time?
Latter— .... trouble at all, old scout.
—Notre Dame Juggler
If gents could read
What co-eds thought.
There’d be mure dating
Than there ought!
— Maiteaser
Girls when they went out to swim
Once dressed like Mother Hubbard;
Now they have a bolder whim.
They dress more like her cupboard.
—Witt
Mother (to small child of eight years) ; Hush,
dear, the sandman will soon be here.
Child: O K. Mom. Gimme two lollypops and 1 won’t
tell daddy.
—Red Cat
Then there’s the guy who became father of such
f
an ugly son that he went down to the zoo and started
throwing rocks at the stork.
—Medley
//
'a
/
/
The confirmed drunkard havi
proceeds to lie in it.
made his bed now