BROADMINDED
“Did I leave an umbrella here, yesterday
“What kind of an umbrella?”
“Oh, any kind. I’m not fussy.”
—Pelican
Prof: “Wake up that fellow beside you.”
Stude: “You do it. Prof, you pui him to sleep.”
, —Green Griffin
Film Director: Are you in the K^yptian scene?
Girl: Yes.
Director: Well, why aren’t you lyintf down on the
job?
—College Humor
Daddy: Your young man talks too much, he rat
tles on like a flivver.
Daughtie: I know, but his clutch is different.
—Red Cat
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— -
THE BATTALION
►
THE ART OF KISSING)
People will kiss, but not one person in a thousand
knows how to extract the maximum of bliss from ruby
lips, and yet the art is simple. Follow these directioi^^
for best results: 1
First know the one with whom you are clinching.
Do n<«t make a mistake, although it be a good one. and
don’t, just like a cat at a mouse, miss and smack the i
dainty thing on the ear or the nose; she won’t appre
ciate it and neither will you.
IX) NOT BE IN A HURRY
ie gentleman should be a little taller, although
it is not absolutely necessary. He should have a clean
face, kindly eyes and a youthful expression, although
this, also, is not absolutely necessary. Ddn’t be anxious
to kiss in a crowd, there are plenty of dark corners.
IX) NOT BE IN A HURRY #
Take the left* hand of the female in your right,
throw your left arm over the lady’s shoulder, slip it
around to her side and below her arm. While her left
hand is in your right, let there be a faint pressure on
it—not like the grip of a vise, oh no, but a gentle touch,
full of thought, respect and electricity.
IX) NOT BE IN A HURRY
Her head is now resting lightly on your shoulder,
you are heart to heart. A faint perfume emanates from
her hair and distils an aromatic odor which seems to
creep stealthily over you. .
ABOVE ALL
IX) NOT BE IN A HURRY
Look down into her half-closed eyes and firmly
press her to your heart. Her lips are almost open. Take
careful aim. the lips meet! the eyes close! the heart
opens! And the soul rides through the tempest to di
vine heights never touched before.
LX) NOT BE IN A HURRY
Earth flies from under your feet. Heaven opens
about you; you are like a buzzing rocket across the
evening sky. Don’t be afraid—no noise, no fuss, no
fluttering, no bother, no squirming should la* yout^
motto. You art* twanging the golden chords of ecstasy
—your dream of dreams has come true!
> IT PAYS
IX) NOT BE IN A HURRY
—Exchange
yr.**-
With apologies to “Pud” Hermann, “Bull" Clennin, and ,
Jack Sloan.
Is the editor in?
No.
Well, throw this poem in the waste basket for m*.
' j —Pitt Panther
She—I’m hungry.
Hf—What?
She—I said I was hungry.
He—Sure, I’ll take you home. This car makes so
much noise that I thought you said that you were hun
gry.
—Arizona Kitty-Kat