2
THE BATTALION
Love Letters Of A
Sophomore
Colleg-e Station, Texas
Oh Sweetheart,
I can’t hardly wait to tell you what
Jake and I ai*e doing to Fred. You
remember he’s the top-kick in our
company. The one we put the dogs in
his room. Well, Jake never was quite
satisfied with the way that turned out
’cause you remember the army offi
cer only lectured him a little and
then grinned and walked out.
Well here’s what we’ve been doin.’
Fred thinks he’s a lady killer. He’s got
a gal in Houston, in Austin, in S. A.,
and to hear him tell it, several more
running round wild out in the woods.
When Jake and I were freshmen we
used to all the time have to be bring
ing him letters from his post-office
box. All the time. He got two or three
letters every day. We knew his box
combination of course, and it just
happened that Jake found out that
Fred has the same box this year.
Now Jake and I just haunt that
post office and snitch every letter that
comes to Fred. Fred writes to his girls
on a typewriter anyway so we don’t
have any trouble answering the let
ters.
Well here’s the way the whole thing
works. It is only three days until
Thanksgiving. Fred won’t have time
to hear from all his girls before then
and if we swipe the letters and answer
them they won’t have time to write
and check up on us by any mistake.
I don’t know whether I’m making this
GET A BIT TO EAT
WHEN PASSING
THROUGH
Navasota
Colonial Cafe
At The
THE MASTER MAGICIAN
A Man of Mystery
ASSEMBLY HALL
Thursday, February 5.
General Admission, 25*?
Reserved Seats 50^
Seats on Sale Y. M. C. A. Monday
clear or not, but anyway, we sat down
and invited every girl that Fred knows
to go to the Thanksgiving game with
him. Each one of them we tell to meet
him in the lobby of the Capitol. To
meet him there at exactly ten o’clock.
That’s the time he’s going to meet the
girl he really did invite to the game,
and that’s the place. Me and Jake are
sure gonna be there and watch the
fun. We’ll be sure and stay out of
sight though. We’ve already got three
letters from his girls saying that they
would be there with bells on.
Boy but I bet Fred will be one em
barrassed cadet when he meets all his
girl friends. I’ll meet you at your
house at eleven and tell you all about
it, and if anyone says I’ll meet you
anywhere else they’re wrong. I don’t
want to meet any flock of girls, it
gives me the heebie jeebies to think
of the way Fred will feel.
Lots of love,
Albert
P.S.—I didn’t mean that I could
meet a lot of girls if I wanted to. I
just meant I didn’t want to take any
chances.
Al.
College Station, Texas
Gosh Darling,
I’m still kinda tight under my belt
from that dinner we had at your place.
Tell your mama again for me that
that was one of the best dinners I
ever ate. And to eat a dinner sittin’
lookin’ at you .... well I enjoyed
both of you a lot more. You and the
Turkey too.
Fred is going around with murder
in his eye. I never saw a man so mad
in all my life. I do think it was mean
of that little blond to slap him like
she did don’t you ? She was sure good
looking though. Me and Jake are hav
ing to be careful ’cause Fred kinda
suspects us I think. He came in the
other night and asked us if we ever
went and got his mail when we were
freshmen. Jake and I both said sure.
He wanted to know then if we still
remembered his box number. Jake said
he thought so and my heart jumped
up in my mouth. But Jake hadn’t gone
crazy. He thought a minute and then
told him a combination for his box,
and then said “Yeah, that’s the combi
nation for box 214, your old box. Ain’t
it Fred?” Fred looked kinda disgust
ed and peeved cause the combination
and box number was both wrong. He
ast me and I said I didn’t know at
all. He said something about neither
one of us havin’ any brains, but I
thing he was wrong that time. He’s
still suspicious though.
Jake can’t seem to let well enoug
Jake can’t seem to let well enough
alone and I’m afraid that Fred is
going to find out who did it. I think
we ought to be satisfied, ’cause we’ve
gone by Fred’s box in the post office
every day since we got back from the
holidays and he hasn’t got a letter
yet. Not one.
Still, Jake says he’s got another
idea of something to do to Fred and
I guess I’ll have to help. Jake wont
tell me what it is yet, as soon as he
does and we do it I’ll let you know
about it.
Lots of love and itchin’ to see you
Xmas.
Love again,
Albert.
Turkish consulates in the Union of
Socialist Soviet Republic have been
intrusted with looking out for the in
terest of American citizens in Russia,
the Associated Press says.
Reliable Typewriter Service
Commerce Building
PHONE 342 v BRYAN, TEXAS
Bring in your Typewriter—or I will call for it. Your machine needs
some adjustments and now is the time to have it done.
Commerce Building
PRICES RIGHT — WORK GUARANTEED
PROMPT SERVICE
HARRY JACOBS
All In Fun
The deen
he stuck his finger
out
and pointed it
at me
and sed
in fashun quite devout
you’re flunking bad
I see
and then he shook
his index digit
underneath my nose
and sed that he wuz hurt
and shocked
at whut my grades disclose
and then
In s^d v/ith wrinkled frown
my lad
look here
you must bear down
and so i gathered up
my pluck
and sed
i can’t
i ain’t no duck.
—Malteaser.
Supremacy of Man
Darwin claims that man came
from monkey—he may be right,
but it has only been recently
that men have become men.
Eve made man the first monkey
back in the days of the Garden
of Eden when she gently forced
the forbidden Dago lifesaver
down his throat. Since that time,
she has continued her rule with
an iron hand until it has become
unbearable. But, alas, man, the
sleeping beauty for centuries, is
gradually awakening and begin
ning to assert his rights.
No longer does man get out
into the cold world and fight sa
bre-tooth tigers or kill a bear
so that the women sitting safe
ly by the fireside in the cave
might eat. No longer does man
fight man for the sake of a fem
inine smile, nor does king war
against king for a lady’s favor.
No, not so, nowadays, man works
long hours so that he may pur
chase some trinket that will
please the lady of his affections.
‘Now is the time for all good
men to come to the aid of their
country,” is a long forgotten ex
pression. Now the expression
reads, “now is the time for all
good men to dig down deep to
supply the slighest wants of the
fickle tribe.”
The old saying, “your slight
est wish is my command” has
evoluted with man until it has
become “your remotest thought
signs my name to a check book.”
Woman has become free (and
easy)—every woman will agree
to this, so will men, too; and
they have become freer still with
a man’s pocketbook. Man is lord
and master of his house, accord
ing to law. Yes, man is lord and
master—he has the right to get
up early and build the fire, car
ry one of the front door keys,
pay all bills, and amuse the chil
dren while the wife plays bridge.
But man is beginning to as
sert his rights after all these
centuries of slavery to the fair
sex. Now man has the right to
decide occasionally what show
they will attend, dance invitation
they will accept, and where they
will drive—^provided, of course,
it is perfectly satisfactory with
the woman.
1/c (at table)—Mister, tell us
a story.
4/c—Once upon a time there
were four bears—
1/c—Don’t you mean three
bears ?
4/c—No, sir, this was a year
later.
—The Log.
Kro—I call my dog Jason.
Mo—-Why?
Kro—He is always looking for
the fleece.
—The Log.
Gob’s latest song—I’m dancing
with tears in my eyes ’cause
the girl on my arms is tattooed.
The Log.
Old Lady—My dear young
man, don’t you know that the
early bird catches the worm?
College Boy—Anybody can
catch a worm. What I need is
sleep.
—Brown Jug.
A bill calling for the expenditure
of $250,000 for the purchase of the
land in New Windsor, N. Y., where
Washington’s troops camped in 1782-
83, has been presented to Congress
by Representative Celler, Democratic,
of New York, who wishes the spot
to be used as a permanent memorial
and national park.
“FOREMOST”
MEN’S HOSE
For The Ag-gies
Better Than Ever
at a Remarkable
Low Price
4 Pairs
for
$1.00
J. C. PENNY
Heavyweight, all merceriz
ed with extra splicing at
heel and toe. In plain colors