6
THE BATTALION
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* THE CROWD !
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You poor misguided, mistrusted,
downtrodden upperclassmen. Sing a
song of sorrow—and be sure that
you chant it loud enough for all the
campus to hear. It’s just a melan
choly story, isn’t it? After all these
long years of squalling your lungs
out and yelling ‘till you’re black
in the face for a first year cadet,
you must now dispense with the
practice. There is one consolation
though—you can save the strain on
your vocal chords and install an
electric bell system. That would be
the latest from Paris. It might meet
with instant success and Thomas
Edison would be proud of the in
vention. Some of you E. E. sharks
rig up a good outfit, get a patent
on it, and you’ll sell all you can
manufacture. There’s your chance
to make your home-town proud that
they can call you their very own.
Notice the bland smiles on the
class of ’33. You can’t blame the
young fellows. Just how long that
smile will last is all a matter of
conjecture. It would be too bad if
it were erased—but that surely won’t
happen. OH NO. . . . So smile Fish, as
though you never had a care in the
world.
Perhaps the most original event
of the week in regard to the abolish
ment .of “Fish Calls” was staged
Sunday afternoon by Battery E. It
was a sad and impressive ceremony
in which funeral services for all
“Fish calls” were held. After a
lengthy meeting in the hall, the
procession of mourners (led by the
solemn, chanting parson) moved to
ward the cemetery. The deceased
was carried by willing freshmen
pall-bearers in a large black box.
Arriving at the burial ground, “Ar
chie,” and “Agnes” were tenderly
laid to rest and last solemn rites
for them were executed amid the
mourns of the freshmen. The latter
at the present time, are sincerely
hoping that the ghosts of the deceas
ed never resurrect but that they re
main in their graves until the end
of time.
❖ * *
A word to the cotton men: I was
nearly mobbed by a few of your de
votees the other day for making a
crack at you last week in this col
umn. I’m afraid I’ll have to hire a
body-guard to keep me from being
waylaid and blackjacked by one of
your ardent members. Be nice now
and don’t fight—I didn’t mean to
hurt your ’ittle feelings last week.
I can’t raise the price of cotton
anyway. To tell the truth about the
matter, I was very glad to get a
response from you, even if it was
in a negative way.
* * *
Had the good fortune to read this
week “The Skiff,” a weekly publi
cation at T. C. U. And right on the
front page, mates, is an article that
should make all of you sit up and
notice. Swing low sweet chariot while
I whisper it to you. Here’s some of
the details of the story—if I re
member it correctly.
Since the A. and M.—T. C. U.
game, the correspondence between the
students of the two schools has in
creased at a rate, rapid enough to
cause one to wonder how it all could
^happen. One hall (to be specific—
Jarvis Hall) receives on an average
fifty letters a day from this cadet
corps. It’s occupants correspond with
eighty different universities but our
own dear Alma Mater walks off
with the loving cup with ease. Tex
as University is second in the con
test.
Highly decorated envelopes are
said to be the vogue for a large per
centage of the Aggies. Anything
from a picture of Barney Google to
Little Red Riding Hood. This must
be from the more artistic gentle
men here such as those Architectural
night owls.
* * *
Some of you, it was stated in the
article, speak of your tender feelings
in foreign languages. That’s rather
odd it seems to me. If you can’t
say it in English, now is the time
to start—you never will learn any
younger. Perhaps it is caused by a
desire on the part of some of the
Aggies to practice for their foreign
language class on the following
morn. Cease practicing and get down
to business. Pardon—proof reader’s
error.
The secret of the Farmers suc
cess, as it was stated, is that “you
keep ’em guessing.” You may be
fooled, boys in khaki, you may be
fooled. The chances are that you
are the ones that are being kept
“guessing.” And you may still be
doing it a year or two from now.
Some brother Aggie got drunk
when a T. C. U. shiek beat his time
in Fort Worth. Ole’ Aggie spirit
personified. There is a question in
the minds of many if this was the
only one that had his social aspira
tions dampened. Better luck on the
next corps trip—perhaps that same
T. C. U. shiek may have a chance
to know how it feels to be ditched.
Avaunt there villian.
Considering Future
How often is the present consid
ered ? Is the future ever considered ?
These are the two main questions
considered by Dr. A. L. Van Houtte
in his talk to the European Physical
Society at its meeting in Amster
dam last month.
Nearer to home than this Ideal
European rice growing plantation,
but in the same field of study, wo
find the physics department of the
A. and M. College striving contin
uously for better present conditions
with which they make future physics
more complete for those individuals
possessing a trait of farsightedness.
No students but those who have had
a course in physics can appreciate
its value when they come upon sub
jects of which it is an unrecognized
prerequisite.
The Brazos bottom was relieved
of some pin oak lumber two years
ago and last summer Professors
Vezey and Tarney of this fundamen
tal scientific department constructed
10 new cabinets for instruments
used in lectures at a cost of some
$150.00 each. These were in addition
to the seven previously placed in
the storeroom of the main floor to
protect the electrical experiments
equipment which has been added 11
new variable resistance boxes repre
senting an expenditure of $575.00.
A year previous, 12 ceiling fans
were installed in the lecture room
for treatment of insomnia cases dur
ing lecture hours.
SEMANTICS MALAPROPOS
Though it is not generally known,
it is rumored that our legislative
assemblies, which hold the center of
interest in all parts of the world
during the greater part of every
year, are “Bolshevik menaces,” when
one’s car depreciates it increases in
value, and this article because it is
mediocre was written before the Ren
aissance.
One has only to refer to papers
handed in by our learned freshmen
when they took their vocabulary ex-
axinations on entering the college
to learn these astounding facts and
many more—for example, a parasite
is a prehistoric animal and a certain
family of plants at the same time.
or that Hop Reynolds has etiquette
since he holds prestige in the confer
ence as a yell leader.
Sully’s Monument, so long grac
ing the campus in front of the Ad
ministration Building is a statue; a
noonday parley is a luncheon; that
sweet and charming girl at home is
precocious; an optical instrument is
a surgical instrument; to elude is to
hamper; to have inestimable value is
to be worthless; to be normal is to
attain the maximum; to make a
spurious statement is to be authentic;
and to be impartial is to be absurd
(good philosophy in a way). These
are some of the many things we find
in that storeroom of knowledge
written by the members of the
class of ’33.
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