*
THE BATTALION
(Ealbtttdl's Jetordrjr !
Dealer in Gruen, Howard, Hamilton, South Bend
Waltham, Illinois and Elgin Watches.
Testing Eyes for all kinds of Defective Vision a Specialty.
STUDENTS FAILING
(Continued from Page 1)
106 in four subjects, 42 in five
subjects and 9 in six subjects.
The deans of the various schools
have been interviewing these defi
cient students with the view of dis
cussing their difficulties or laziness,
and to give them a fair warning of
the disastrous effects that such poor
scholarship will bring to them on
December 1 should they not make
a decided improvement.
“But, doctor, how can I drive i
nail without hitting my fingers?’
asked the young bride, after the
bandage was adjusted.
“Hold the hammer in both hands,’
he advised.—Tit Bits.
,:>in
Aerial view of the tip of Manhattan Island, New York City
THE SKY IS THE LIMIT!
EFORE the elevator removed this limitation,
five stories was the height limit of buildings.
Upper floors v/ere undesirable people didn’t
enjoy the long, hard climb to roof-tree quarters.
Today there is no restriction. Upper floors are pre
ferred for their light, ventilation and splendid view.
Elevators have made buildings of any height prac
ticable. The only limit is in the construction of the
building itself.
For more than 75 years Otis has led the way in Ver
tical Transportation changing the skylines of the
nation.
OTIS ELEVATOR COMPANY
Offices in Jill Principal Cities of the World
The brown derby passed out of
style last week with barely a whis
per of protestation. I guess that I’ll
have to get mine dyed black and
use it for funerals and weddings on
else make a flower pot out of it.
Someone asked me what I thought
about the election. Why should I
think, seemingly no one else did ?
Just wait, after Mr. Hoover digs
about three canals in some of these
bolter’s back yards and they have
to go on a cornbread diet to save
the Siberian Eskamoes from starv
ing to death then they will begin
to think,—and gripe, how they will
gripe. Oh, the results of Tuesday
a week ago upset me something un-
formally.
You see, I had it all fixed up with,
the Pope, as I told you once before.
And then to have this happen, it was
a setback. I tried and tried to get
him to change and go join the First
Baptist Church of Rhome, and I be
lieve he would have but his Mother-
in-law was opposed to the scheme.
She has such particular ways and
never has liked me very much since
the time that I gave her a nip of
some good old Texas, Hill Country
boot-leg. (I always carry my own,
because this foreign stuff tastes
kind of funny, and I’ve heard it said
that it will ruin a fellow’s stomach).
Well, you know I said that I gave
her a nip, while we were at a big
party that the Pope was giving in
dishonor of a munition manufacturer,
and she got all deteriated and lost
her ambition, I mean reputation.
Anyway she spiked my plan for the
Pope to cause a big stir by walking
down the isle at the Baptist church
crying and repenting and saying
that he knew he was wrong and
since he started running for the
President of the U. S. the spirits of
Grant and Warren Harding had
come to him and said that even if
he was a democrat that he was go
ing wrong in his religion and couldn’t
get in UP there with them at that
rate, so he had come to be forgiven
and ask everyone to vote for him.
As I said we couldn’t work the
scheme, but it was a good one-
and it would have won him the elec
tion. Now of course there is noth
ing for him to do but to keep on
Poping which must get tiresome af
ter a few years while as President
he would have had lots of diversion
a/nd hands to shake and cemeteries
to open.
I haven’t lost out altogether be
cause I bought half interest in a
rubber-tubing and charred barrel!
plant and suppose that I’ll do about
as well as nearly any revenue of
ficer.
Thats about all I have to say
about the election. I sent Mr. Hoo-
(Continued on Page 8)