2
THE BATTALION
TORO
(By T. Wine)
I read somewhere that the only
haven for an optimist was the luna
tic asylum. I almost believe that
statement. Some fellows get married
that haven’t a bit of cents, but
that’s almost the same as the first
instance.
I’m naturally a pessimist. Gener
ally early in the morning and right
before meals. Sometimes after go
ing through the process of entering
the mess hall and coming out, I am
even more of a pessimist. However,
I have a chronic dispeptic stomach.
People so troubled should never be
allowed to voice their opinion on any
thing of importance, or serve on a
jury, since they are the most “agin”
people in the world.
Another thing. One of my friends
has recently fallen in love. He kept
it from me a long time, and now he
gets “specials.” He doesn’t send any
yet, because he is Scotch, but when
he does I’ll be ready for the river—
or the wedding.
I remember, I was in love once.
It’s a kind of goofy feeling. Some
thing you can’t scratch. Once a girl
even told me that she loved me. She
kept calling me “Adolph” that night.
I remember distinctly. She was
hanging on my arm, on my neck.
She pleaded with me not to leave
her but I was firm and finally hung
her on a hat-rack to sober up. And
I’ve been having trouble with my
feet ever since the winter she taught
me to dance. She was one of these:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue
I love you
And you do too.
Gosh and the money I spent on
that girl. Reckless, that’s the way I
am. High as eighty or ninety cents
in one night. But I don’t get stuck
so easy now. I got a girl that’s dif
ferent.
* * ❖
I heard this one in class the other
day.
The old negro cook, Mandy, hear
ing the lady of the house speaking
to a visitor about companionate
marriage said to her: “I say, Miz
Fannie, what’s dis here passhionate
mahrige, .1 done heah about?”
Why Mandy, that’s when two peo
ple live together until they find that
they can’t get along, and then part.
“Why, Miz Fannie, You white folks
is gettin’ moah lik us niggers evah
day.”
* * *
This one in class too.
“The Lindberg Sandwich stand
was raided by the prohibition offi
cers, and about five hundred gal
lons of sandwiches confiscated.”
❖ * *
Again, oh, suffer on.
“Cadets have a tendency to yell
before athletic games and after ex
ams.” True brother, true.
* * *
Why is it that people when in a
barber chair always look so infer
ior? The most aggressive and out
standing person looks appealingly
and trustfully into the barber’s eyes.
Because the barber generally has
the edge on them.
* * *
I stopped a minute to listen and
look in on the dance last night,
especially look. It appears to me that
there was more competition there,
MINUTES OF STUDENT
WELFARE COMMITTEE
The student body as a whole has
never heard of the Student Welfare
Committee before. This committee is
made up of a senior from each bat
talion, three representatives from
the Junior Class, two from the
Sophomore Class, one from the
Freshman Class, and several mem
bers of the faculty. This commit
tee meets many times during the
school year, and it discusses the
many various problems which face
the student, and gives its conclu
sions to the faculty as recommenda
tions to be acted on. If any of you
students have anything you would
like to be brought up before the
committee, see one of the members.
The following discussions and ac
tions were taken by the Committee:
1. R. W. Davidson was elected
Secretary of the Committee and the
Committee adopted a resolution that
it should be the duty of the Secre
tary to submit to the Battalion re
ports of the minutes.
2. Mr. Bible, Chairman of the
Sub-committee on outdoor swimming
pool reported progress in arousing
interest in such a pool.
3. The Chairman of the Com
mittee was requested to take up
with the proper authorities the mat
ter of supplying hot water for
bathing purposes immediately.
4. The Committee adopted a res
olution expressing the sense of the
Committee that Paragraph 84 “Col
lege Regulations” should be modi
fied to allow seniors and others
listed in the Regulations to keep
lights to a later hour than midnight.
5. The matter was discussed of
recommending that all three lights
be allowed in rooms occupied by only
two seniors, in order to permit
greater flexibility in the use of
lights.
6. There was a discussion of the
importance of lower classmen doing
more studying now on account of
the approaching of the first reports
of grades on November 1. It was
brought out in the discussion that
some of the organizations are al
ready taking steps to help the stu
dents in their organizations, and the
suggestion was made that it might
be possible to get someone to of
fer an award to the Company in the
Corps which makes the best scho
lastic record. A Committee consist
ing of E. E. McQuillen, J. Hum
phries, and H. S. Williams was
(Continued on Page 3)
than throughout the grocery chain-
store system in Texas. Gee, I’m
sleepy, my apologies with this
weeks’ bunk. So said the Eagle to
Miss Liberty, “If you had wings
you’d be an Angel.” Said Miss Lib
erty to the Eagle, “Flatterer, you’re
a boid Yourself.’ Soft music. Lights.
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