THE HA T 1 A L I O N
Skrip, successor to
ink, makes all pens
write better, and
the Lifetime pen
write best.
Identify the Lifetime
pen by this
■white dot
A ckerished honor
That it’s a real collegiate favorite everywhere
is hut one of many honors borne by the jade-
£,reen pen with the little white dot. And because
this Lifetime pen spends most days in the writ
ing hand and least in repair shops, it is worthy
of all honor. Unconditionally g,uaianteed
for a lifetime of flawless writing, it costs more
because it is worth more. Its careful, sturdy
construction makes possible the guarantee.
And the Titan pencil is a twin in dependability.
‘Lifetime” pen, $8.75 Lady "Lifetime”, $7.50 Others lower
"Lifetime” Titan oversize pencil to match, $4.25
At better stores everywhere
SHEAFFER’S
PENS - PENCILS - SKRIP
W. A. SHEAFFER PEN COMPANY - FORT MADISON. IOWA
RECOMMENDED BY THE
ENGLISH DEPARTMENT OF THE
AGRICULTURAL & MECHANICAL COLLEGE
The Best Abridged Dictionary—Baaed upon
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G. & C. MERRIAM CO.
Springfield, Mass.
❖ DR. LAMAR JONES, Dentist ❖
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THESE MODERN HISTORIANS
Diogenes crossed the Delaware and
held his lantern up to George Wash
ington.
“Let’s have a look at your phren
ology. Are you he who cannot tell a
lie?”
“Lafayette, we are here,” quoth
George. “Just wait’ll I cut down this
forbidden fruit tree.”
At the first stroke of his little hat
chet, an apple fell on Sir Isaac New
ton’s head.
“Steady William!” Sir Isaac said
nervously, as Tell drew back his
string. Twang—William Tell shot
the apple off clean and did not so
much as graze a hair. Then Sir Isaac
took of the fruit and did eat and
gave also of it to Adam. When
Adam tasted it he was immediately
overcome with a knowledge of evil.
“The law of gravitation is!” he
cried.
“What do you mean by that?”
Ponce de Leon wanted to know.
“Everything that goes up is bound
to come down.”
“Fountains?” Ponce quavered.
“Well no, not fountains.”
“Then I must keep on looking.”
Ponce built a bridge across the ocean
in thirteen chapters.
The next day a whale lifted its
head from the water and opened its
mouth.
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“I’m about to be swallowed,” ob
served Ponce, “but I like not the slip
pery look of that tongue.”
Sir Walter Raleigh was standing by
and with a gallant gesture he took off
his coat, spread it over the offending
tongue, and Ponce de Leon walked
down the whale’s throat, perfectly
dry. The whale closed its mouth and
swam to Troy. The Trojans saw the
whale and thinking it was a gift from
the gods, they brought it into the city
with much rejoicing. That night while
they slept Ponce, having been in its
belly three days, stole forth and de
cided to overthrow Troy.
“What shall I report you as having
said on this historic occasion?” asked
a reporter.
“Make it veni, vidi, vici.” Just then
Troy tripped and fell.”—Ex.
Fair One: Haven’t we met some
where before?
Cadet: I don’t know, but you cer
tainly taste familiar.
* * *
He: “There seems to be something
wrong with the motor.”
G. O. T. M. (Girl of the Moment):
“Don’t be foolish; wait until we get
off the main road.”
* * *
Girls who paint their lips only take
advantage of the age-old curiosity of
the human race to feel wet paint.
* * *
She—(“S’matter, don’t you like my
company?”
He—“Where is it?”