6
T HE B A T T A LION
GRATE TALES
Who is there among us who have
not heard of the famous, mythical
Paul Bunyan ? And yet, who knows
the straight of the matter ? Lies are
lies, but the following is a true ac
count of a few of the most interesting
incidents in the life and acts of Paul
Bunyan.
Paul was born on an iceberg in the
Anartic Ocean. His father was a
blond giant, who had picked a fitting
mate from the fair damsels of Den
mark, and the two were honeymoon
ing among the cool breezes of the
bergs, while Paul’s male parent
furtively searched for the foot of the
Southern Cross so that he might be
come famous.
And so Paul, by reason of his par
ents, inherited large bones and a
tendency to become immense. In fact,
the Registry office on the berg where
he was born gave him an official
weight of 25 pounds, which is quite
large for a baby.
When Paul was two days old, he
saw a Polar bear and immediately
took a great fancy for it, voicing his
desires with great force and intensity.
Bunyan, Sr., fared forth and captured
the playful brute, and the baby and
the bear became inseparable compan
ions.
At the end of his first year of
earthly existence, we see that Paul
has attained the growth of an ordi
nary man, with more than the cor
responding amount of wisdom. Never
having been bothered with the silly,
conventional clothes that mortals
affect, his body has become tough
and inured to weather conditions,
and at all times he might be seen
riding calmly about the giant
berg, astraddle his bear, and attired
only in a l6fh cloth.
Paul celebrated his first birthday
by breaking large chunks off the
berg and throwing them in the water,
taking a huge delight in the great
geysers that they caused when they
fell back in the ocean. These geysers
created such huge waves that they
caused a typhoon on the Indian ocean,
which raged with unabated fury for
three weeks. And Paul hurled one of
the ice chunks so high that it flew
out into space, and being ignited by
the tremendous friction, became a
flaming comet, clearly discernible
here on earth. (Editor’s Note:In spite
of the fact that this quaint folk tale
is contributed by Prof. Bunker “B.
S.,” we may print a second instal
ment in the future.)
A Full Line of
Drugs, Magazines, Candy
and Cold Drinks
REED & POWERS
Confectionery and Drugs
* f
THE
M. H. JAMES
• •
I
«i»
1 4
f
DRUG CO.
— PHONES —
One of our Fish is so dumb that he
thinks ram slips are a sort of petti
coat to put on sheep during cold
weather.
“Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” must
have been a wonderful help to the
peroxide manufacturers.
HOLMES BROS
Bryan’s Popular
CONFECTIONERY
STORE
Where the Boys Get the
Best Malted Milks on Earth
Come to See Us
Agency for King’s and
Whitman’s Candies
EASTMAN KODAKS AND KODAK SUPPLIES, PIANOS,
VICTROLAS AND RECORDS
Crosby, Atwater-Kent, R. C. A. Radios; Agency Remington
and Corona Portable Typewriters. Cadet
Trade Appreciated.
ALL KINDS OF DRAWING INSTRUMENTS AND
MATERIALS
HASWELL’S BOOK STORE
PHONE 14
THEMETROPOLITAN BARBER
SHOP
Real Service. Call and Sea us.
BRYAK, TEXAS
EAT A BURGER AT
DAD COLE'S
When You Are Hungry
Between Leggett and Bat-
Roost Halls
♦
♦
*
♦
♦
♦
♦
READ BATTALION ADVERTISEMENTS
“The fact is, that civili*
zation requires slaves.
The Greeks were quite
right there. Unless there
are slaves to do the ugly,
horrible, uninteresting
work, culture and con
templation become almost
impossible. Human
slavery is wrong, inse
cure, and demoralizing.
On mechanical slavery,
on the slavery of the
machine, the future of
the world depends.”
—Oscar Wilde
SLAVES
You will find this mono
gram on all kinds of
electrical machinery. To
insure quality, ask for it
on equipment when you
buy for factory, office,
or home.
A series of G-K advertise
ments showing what
electricity is doing in
many fields will be sent
on request. Ask for book
let GEK-18.
In a quarter-century the General Electric
Company has produced electric motors having
a total of more than 350,000,000 man-power.
Electric light, heat, and transportation have also
contributed their part to the freeing of men. These
are America’s slaves. Through their service
American workers do more, earn more, and
produce quality goods at lower cost than any
where else in the world.
The college-trained man is the first to grasp
these facts which raise man from a mere source
of physical power to be a director of power,
thus realizing the true economic value of the
human mind.
" ' '-r ■{> ■%
201-57DH
GENERAL ELECTRIC
GENERAL
ELECTRIC
COMPANY
SCHENECTADY
NEW
YORK