THE BATTALION
TERRORS OF TERPSICHORE.
{••••
I hied me to the village sage to try to learn to dance. I felt that
I had reached the age when I should out and prance. I knew that I
would learn to jog until I shook a wicked dog and had the neighbors
all agog with envy in their glance.
Alas, I was a total loss; I could not dance at all. I trotted ’round
like some old hoss a’tuming in his stall. My legs were stiff as iron
rakes, my feet seemed bigger, far, than lakes—I filled myself with
pains and aches—and sometimes I would fall.
I carried on about a year and then I said,, ‘Tm great.” I gave
myself a rousing cheer and fixed myself a date. I kne wit was a
frightful chance, but still Iplanned to go and dance before the vulgar
public glance. No longer would I wait.
At first I drew Priscilla Prim* whose age is forty-two. We two
then fought with features, grim, until the piece was through. She
cried: “I’ll dance with you no more. I have no shin-guards by the
score. With you a dance is more like war; my feet are black and
blue.”
Then next I danced with Lizie Whale, whom all the fellows shun.
This girl was slower than a sntil and weighed about a ton. At last
we started going swell; I tried a pivot—came a yell—and then we
tripped and down we fell. I felt about all done!
I rose me up and quit the place, and felt just like a prune. I
dared not look men in the face; I could not leave too soon. I wanted
much to weep and sob—I’ll never dance before a mob—I think I’ll try
some easy job—like leaping o’er the moon!
—Boston Heights.
Transcript; while Washington stands
in the center of the boat with his
little hatchet in one hand. Floating
on a cake of ice in the distance is a
sign, “Welcome to Trenton, Board of
Trade.” The flag flying on the boat
constitutes the alleged disecration.
The title of the pitcure was “Sit
Down, You’re Rocking the Boat.”
The “obscene” picture is a painting
by Manet which hangs in the Lux
embourg.
Lampoon officials were appraised of
the suppression when two police cap
tains entered the Lampoon building
and forbade further sales and threat
ened confiscation of the issue. The
members of the Lampoon board rush
ed out to the newsstands and gather
ed in as many copies as possible be
fore the police could act. Most of the
copies were saved.—New Student.
SENIORS ARE TO
PRESENT PLAY
Characters Are Announced and Re
hearsals Are Held.
Work on the Senior Play for this
year has been going quietly under the
direction of Mr. J. T. Owens, asso
ciate professor of public speaking.
The play, which will be presented by
the class, is “The Importance of Be
ing Earnest,” a three-act comedy by
Oscar Wilde. This play is a good-
natured satire on the leisure class in
England, and is very well known as a
cleverly written, humorous play. It
will be given here on Saturday eve
ning, May 30.
The cast for the play, with the ex
ception of two characters, has been
selected in order that the practice
which necessarily precedes a well-pre
sented play might be begun. The cast
is:
John Worthington. .. .J. F. B. Lyons
Algernon Moncrieff E. O. Buck
Rev. Canon Chasuble.. Pat Lipscomb
Merriman (butler)... .not chosen yet
Lane (manservant . —not chosen yet
Hon. Gwendolyn Fairfax, Miss Edge! t: ^ r< L
Cecily Cardew Miss Hutton
Lady Bracknell Miss Watkins
Miss Prism (governess), Miss Grout
MANY DANCES TO MARK
END OF SCHOLASTIC YEAR
HARVARD LAMPOON
IS SUPPRESSED
The Harvard Lampoon is the second
college comic to be surpressed in Bos
ton during the last month.
The Literary Digest parody was
swiftly pounced upon by the police de
partment of Boston and Cambridge
on the morning that it appeared, Fri
day, April 18, and all copies on news
stands confiscated. Two violations
of the law were charged: First, the
improper display of the American
Flag on the front cover; Second, for
the display of an obscene picture on
the inside.
The Lampoon parody closely re
sembled the Literary Digest, so close
ly that the police in their raid took
copies of the original Digest from a
newsstand. The picture on the coyer
was a parody of Washington crossing
the Delaware. One of the men in the
boat is feeding sugar cakes to a polar
bear; another is reading the Boston
BARBARA LaMAR
»••••<
#
:
More beautiful than ever, supported by Conway Tearle and
Harry Morey in a sensation
“The Heart of a Siren”
Full of gorgeous costumes, lavish sets, and a thrilling love
drama. The season’s greatest with
• A. & M. QUEEN ORCHESTRA
And a big feature comedy. Reduced to 20c and 40c. Mon
day, Tuesday, “Sackcloth and Scarlet.”
ZANE GREYS “THE THUNDERING HERD”
At the Palace Friday, Saturday. A Super. 20c and 40c.
Tom Mix—-DIXIE—Saturday
Only in “The Rider of the Purple Sage.” Monday, Tuesday,
Mothers’ Day special “My Son.”
i
i
»•••••<
With the entrance upon the last
month of school, the Junior Class is
busy arranging for a series of dances
and entertainments—the first of these
will be a Junior Banquet; the second
a dance for juniors and seniors; the
Corps dance; and the last,
the Final Ball.
The various committees reported
on their work at a meeting held by
the Junior Class in the Y. M. C. A.
Chapel last Sunday afternoon. Se
lection of an orchestra was made.
The Junior Banquet, which will be
held early Friday evening, will be at
tended by Juniors and their dates,
and other invited guests. Following
the banquet, there will be the Junior-
Senior dance. A Corps dance will be
held Saturday night, at which every
one is invited to attend. The Final
Ball will be given on Monday night
by the members of the Freshman,
Sophomore, and Junior Classes in
honor of the Senior Class. Aggie-
land has been engaged to play for
the series of dances. It is thought
that the gayety of these entertain
ments will be a jubilant climax to the
close of school.
Prof, (presenting problem to class
in statistics): “It is estimated that
every person in England eats eighty-
five apples a day. Find how many
doctors are kept away by this meth
od.”
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GRUEN SEMITHIN
CALDWELL’S
Thirtieth Anniversary
SALE!
GRADUATION GIFTS
We are celebrating our thirtieth anniversary this
month, beginning May 4th and ending May 24th, by giv
ing 25 % discount or one-fourth off of our entire stock of
merchandise.
This includes all A. & M. C. Jewelry.
Now is the time to get a good watch at wholesale
cost.
We have such watches as The Gruen, Elgin, Wal
tham, Hamilton, Howard, and Illinois.
Call early and maize your selections.
QTaRitueirs 2|rmclrg Jittorc
Bryan, Texas
J. M. CALDWELL
Phone No. 5
J. S. CALDWELL
Phone No. 5