THE BATTALION
A COLLEGE CHEMIS
TRY LABORATORY
A musty smell
And thin grey smoke
With a biting odor that makes one
choke.
Along the wall
In gleaming array
Reagent bottles their colors display.
An electric furnace—how red it
glows!
And a greedy hood that sucks and
blows.
There are jars and bottles standing on
tables
What funny symbols are on their
labels!
The glassware sparkles
With colors bright.
And the dancing flames shed a weird
blue light.
The slim burettes
Look down on all.
How erect . they are so graceful
and tall.
The students are busy at various
things
They weigh and evaporate,
Filter and titrate,
Dissolve and precipitate,
Ponder and meditate.
Puzzle and calculate
In the thin grey smoke
With the biting odor that makes one
choke.
Some of them see beyond the walls,
Out in the world where industry
calls—
Calls to men with an education,
Men of vision and imagination.
The future seems
In golden dreams
Full of achievement and content.
Be patient, O youth!
Fulfillment and truth
Come only with age.
—Edward Capers.
Judge—“Who brought you here?”
“Hog Law” Woods—“Two police
men.
Judge—“Drunk, I suppose.”
“Hog Law”—“Yes shir, both of
them.
HANDY ANDY SAYS:
It’s an awful thing to get up in
the morning if you have to, but
it is a pleasant sound to hear
the alarm bell call if you know
that it is ringing at the right
time and that you have gotten
every bit of sleep to be had.
Best way is to get the best
clock that not only keeps the
best time but is so well made
that the alarm actually goes off
at the time you set it and not
fifteen or twenty minutes be
fore or after. You can get an
alarm clock that rings to the
minute at
PARKER-ASTIN
HARDWARE CO.
APPLICATION FOR AD
MISSION IN 1940
The Dean pounded his huge catcher’s
mit preparatory to receiving a
hot one from the Professor of Ap
plied Ins and Outs. But, before the
ball could be shot across the plate
the Registrar came hurrying across
the diamond. He was motioning
frantically.
“Calorated canine!” scolded the
Dean, angry at the interruption.
“Dean,” apologized the Registrar,
“I know it aint strictly according to
Hoyle for me to butt in like this but
there’s a guy wants to be admitted
to this college and he seems kind of
phony to me.”
“Did you put him thru the regular
entrance examinations ? ”
“Uh, huh.”
“How did he do in his plain and
fancy sprinting?”
“He flunked in both.”
“In batting high one and low
ones ?”
“Couldn’t hit a barn with a peo-
ble.”
“In throwing for the basket and
in punting the pigskin?”
“Dean, it made my heart bleed
to see how that guy’s education has
been neglected.”
“Hoav about the water tests ? The
breast and overhand strokes ? ”
Spring-board diving? Under-water
floating ?”
“The poor fish couldn’t get a pass
ing mark in any of them.”
“Perhaps his specialty is appara
tus work. Did you try him on the
buck, horse and parallel bars?”
“Willing but dumb.”
“Nothing worth while. He said
sumpin’ about honors in latin, math,
ancient history and english in his hi
school.”
“Please tell the applicant that this
college is a modern institution. The
subjects he mentions are taught to
healthy young men in backward rur
al hi schools. He’ll have to pass in
the major requirements before we can
consider him.”
“I’m hep, Dean. We don’t want
boobs like him crowdin’ out the fel
lers who can really benefit by four
years in the college.”
As the Registrar sprinted away the
Dean continued his experiments with
the aid of his colleague, the brilliant
Professor whose course in Pitching
III was the talk of the campus.—Con
tributed by a Fish.—The Kangroo.
JUNIOR BAT OFFICERS
FOR CURRENT SESSION
HAVE BEEN SELECTED
At a meeting held Tuesday, Janu
ary 20, 1925, the officers for the
“Junior Battalion” staff were elected,
and it was decided that the first of
the class editions of the “Battalion”
w’ould be issued in March. It is an
annual custom to have each class—
Junior, Sophomore, and Freshman—
edit an issue of the “Battalion.” It
is a contest with each class striving
to put forth the best edition.
Jack Williams, who was himself
manager of the “Sophomore Batta
lion . ” for the class of 1926, was elect
ed editor of the “Junior Battalion” for
this year. R. M. Priesmeyer was
elected business manager. Each man
has already selected his staff of as
sistants, and work on the forthcoming
“Junior Battalion” has started.
Prof.—I expect you to know your
assignment tomorrow, Norwood.
Chuck—Yes sir.
Prof.—You understand?
Chuck.—I understand what you ex
pect, sir.
f 'Towering Alasses'’
The Garment Center Buildings
New York City
WALTER M. MASON, Architect
Drawn by Hugh Ferriss
T j'F.RF. the new architecture expresses itself in great vig
orous masses which climb upward into'the sky with a
pyramidal profile—gigantic, irregular, arresting. An earlier,
conventional building on the near corner is overshadowed,
engulfed in towering masses of the newer building which
are prophetic of an architecture of the future which is
vividly stimulatina to the imagination.
Certainly modern invention—modern engineering skill
and organization, will prove more than equal to the de
mands of the architecture of the future.
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Address...
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