THE BATTALION
HOW TO LISTEN TO MUSIC.
(By Samuel E. Asbury)
Dispose your body and your head
so as to face the music, or, if deaf
like me, turn your better ear slight
ly to the music. And listen to the mu
sic with your eyes also; do not close
them. A symphony orchestra is
something to see; there are the
new and strange instruments if there
are any such to you; if not, there is
the massing of the orchestra, the vio
lins together, the second violins over
against them, the violas in another
group, the ’cellos further back, the
flutes, clarionettes, and other wood
wind instruments in the centre; and
the brass, the trumpets, trombones,
horns at the back with the drums,
cymbals, and so forth.
Much like a brass band; much like
the pictures in the record catalogue.
Say, this orchestra is an enlarged Ag-
gielqnd; some of their stunts, if they
play modern music, will sound like
good jazz too. But good jazz is not
bad. Good musicians have passed by
indiscriminating abuse of jazz. And
if this orchestra is not ashamed of it
self, if they are not playing down to
us heathens in the backwoods, you’ll
hear a blast or two that will remind
you of our A. and M. band marching
across the field when the score is 20
to nothing. Then, you will need your
sense of touch also, to take in the
immensity of sound. Only your taste
and smell remain useless at a sym
phony orchstra concert.
The Slavic March by Tschaikows-
ky, which closes the evening’s pro
gram, was written in 1876, during the
war between Turkey and the Slavic
Serbians. At this time there were
many demonstrations of Slavic patrio
tism in Russia, and Nicholas Ruben-
stein arranged a concert for the ben
efit of wounded soldiers. Tschaikows-
ky (1840-1893), himself deeply pa
triotic and responsive to the temper
of the times, composed his famous
Slavic March for the occasion.
The composition opens with a rath
er melancholy theme, a dirge-like
chant, intoned first by the bassoons,
accompanied by the double basses,
and elaborated by the other wood
winds into a beautiful march, purely
Slavic in rhythm and barbaric color.
This theme is built upon an old Ser
bian folk-song, admirably portraying
the deep brooding sadness of the
Slavic heart. This part gradually dies
away as if vanishing in the distance,
and is presently followed by the
strains of a gay folk-dance, joyous
music of exultation and anticipated
triumph.
The stirring climax is gained by
the rymthmic combination of the
strains of this dance music with the
moving and stately measures of the
Russian National Anthem.
The Anthem is again triumphantly
shouted by all the brasses in the
crashing finale.
(Contributed by Mrs. C. B.
Campbell)
The St. Louis Symphony March,
with which the afternoon program
opens, was composed by Mr. Ganz,
the director of the present orches
tra. The position of St. Louis as a
border city between North and South
is noted in the last section of the
march in snatches of “The Star
Spangled Banner” (on the horns and
trombones) and “Dixie” (on the xylo
phone and piccolo).
Eighty “Grandpa, why is it that! “What kind of meat have you this
you have no hair on your head?” (morning?” said the haggard husband
Eighty: “Grass does not grow on j to the butcher,
a busy street.” j “We have some steak as tender as
Eight: “Oh, I see, it can’t get up a woman’s heart.”
through the concrete.” “Guess I’ll take two pounds of
sausage.”—Tattler.
There was once an armorous mister,
who, on meeting a girl, always kissed
her;
But one night at the gate,
He found, when too late, >
He’d been kissing the chauffeur’s
black sister.
The girl walked briskly into the
store and dropped her bag on the
counter.
“Give me a chicken,” she said.
“Do you want a pullet?” the shop
keeper asked.
“No,” the girl replied, “I want to
cary it.”—Tattler.
“Where did you get your black eye,
Pat?”
“Sure, it’s in mourning for the guy
that gave it to me.”—Tattler.
“Did the bank’s failure upset you ?”
“Yes, I lost my balance,”?
He: “We are coming to a tunnel.
Are you afraid?”
She: “Not if you take that cigar
out of your mouth.”—Tattler.
Bank Teller: “This check is all
right, but you must be introduced.
Can’t you bring in your husband?”
Woman: “Who, Jack? Why, if
Jack thought you wanted an intro
duction he’d knock your block off.”—
Tattler.
It is not necessary to report every
thing you hear your friends talking
about.
Waiter: “Where is the paper
plate I gave you with your pie?”
Fish: “Oh, I thought that was the
lower crust.”—Tattler.
Magistrate: “You are charged
with being drunk. Have you any
thing to say ? ”
Culprit: “I’ve ever been drunk in
my life sir, and never intend to be,
for it always makes me feel so bad
in the morning.”—Tattler.
“Polly want a cracker?”
“No, old dear, I have dined copious
ly,” replied the parrot. “Got a cigar
ette about you?”—Tattler.
—Tattler.
Friend, (rushing- in to tell the
news): “Susan, dear, your husband
and little Fido were in an accident.”
Wife: “G'ood heavens! Haven’t
they been able to get a veterinarian
yet ? —Tattler.
His wife insisted she would drive,
He dared not say red nay,
Then came the city ambulance,
And took them both away.
—Tattler.
EDMUND HALLEY
1656-1742
Son of a London soap-boiler
who became Astronomer- a 1
1 ne comet came back
of the Southern hemisphere.
Financed and handled the
Sinaia Newton ’ 8 immortal The great comet that was seen by William
of Normandy returned to our skies in 1910
on its eleventh visit since the Conquest.
Astronomers knew when it would appear,
and the exact spot in the sky where it
would first be visible.
As spectacular as a
comet has been the
world’s electrical devel
opment. By continuous
scientific research the
General Electric Com
pany has accelerated
this development and
has become a leader in
the industry.
Edmund Halley’s mathematical calcula
tion of the great orbit of this 76-year vis
itor—his scientific proof that comets are
part of our solar system—was a brilliant
application of the then unpublished Prin-
cipia of his friend Sir Isaac Newton.
The laws of motion that Newton and
Halley proved to govern the movements
of a comet are used by scientists in the
Research Laboratories of the General Elec
tric Company to determine the orbit of
electrons in vacuum tubes.