T H *3 BATTALION
»
The Coca-Cola Co.
Atlanta, Ga.
When your Good Appetite is not satisfied at the
Mess Hall drop down to
THE
HAMBURGER
STAND
Next to Boyett’s Store. All kinds of
! SANDWICHES, MILK, PIES, AND COLD DRINKS
:$>
EMIIMI
Oil Can, Oklahoma.
Dear Rufus:
Your’s just received and the news
that you have been charged with
cheating all because your foot went
to sleep in class and accidentally
kicked your book open fills me with
poignant and remorseful grief. To
my mind, your only alibi is that you
were not looking over the lesson but
only kicking over the footnotes. You
should consider yourself fortunate
that both of your feet were not
asleep for then you would have been
.sound asleep and no telling what
you might have done then.
In regard to the job, Old Deah, I
spoke to the Sup’t. the other day
about you and told him what you
could do. It was nothing so don’t
thank me too profusely. I told him
that you were steady (but not that
you were Millies steady) and he said
if you were as steady as I am that
you must be motionless. Neverthe
less he said if you wanted a job that
he would line you up doing the same
kind of work I started out doing—
and incidentally, am still doing.
Boy, I know you will enjoy the
work because there is a keen little
Indian Pocahuntas working in the
same office where I am supposed to
work. Oh! boy! She is so keen that
I’ve got a date with her tonight. To
be perfectly candid, Rufus, I enjoy
being her pale-face immensely. She
calls me her pale-face I presume be
cause my mouth is usually ajar.
As a stenographer, old student, her
"typt; can’t, oe beat. Hair as black as
Stygian night, the tresses of which
fall in such graceful and symmetrical
folds that Archimedes spiral in com
parison, looks like the bow-leg of a
first year cadet after he has tried
on his first pair of spiral leggings;
with large black eyes, that speak the
language of the soul, peering out
from an exquisite sepia mould of
feminine charm and with a smile that
makes you pity the Mona Lisa for
being hairlipped.
These are the reasons my mouth
was ajar the first time I cast my orbs
upon her visage and it is now para
lyzed in that position. I would be
half right if I now say that I have
an honest and open face.
It certainly is interesting to watch
her talk about Indian woodcraft and
the habits and customs of the Red
Men. Son, she knows more about
Indians than the governor of Indi
ana. '
Rufus, did I tell you about the ex
citement up here over the organi
zation of the Ku Klux Klan? There
is a rumor running rampant that a
certain man who worked for our
Company last January was soliciting
members for the K. K. K. and that
he was either a Wizard or Kleagle.
If he is the same man who took
his meals across from me in Chow
Hall I am inclined to think he was
Grand Goblin.
Nevertheless they have organized
pretty strong in these parts. The
proprietor of the Oil Can Oil Cloth
and Dry Goods store told me confi
dentially that he has sold more night
shirts in the past month than ever
before in the history of the dry goods
business in Oil Can. Also, the far
mers are complaining that some of
their chickens haven’t got enough
feathers on them to tickle you under
the chin with. It is easy to deduct
from these facts after viewing one
of Oil Can’s leading bootleggers
traveling down main street at a high
rate of speed dressed up like an os
trich that there is something to the
K. K. K.
Well as news is scarce as that
bootlegger was trying to make him
self I will close for this time.
Your “old woman”,
William.
A.M.C.
gfCOEW
New social stars have presented
themselves at the Aggieland Spring
Social Training Camp, and some of
the new material bids fair to give
a few 7 of the regualrs a merry chase
for berths on the all time social
team. The first evidence of these
outcroppings came during the recent
inspection trip made by the chemical
engineers and at the present rate of
progress it is hard to predict just
when the newly made social hounds
will cease their ravings.
Just as a matter of information to
the unfortunate stu'dents who rei
fused to take Ch. E. four years ago
a few of the happenings of said trip
aro published below.
When an A. and M. man arrives
in his home town you know a social
tide arises which even the seasoned
mariner finds hard to steer, especial
ly if Houston or Galveston happens
to be the city under consideration.
But Currie, Williams, Hartung and
other native Houstonian chemists
had foreseen this inevitable hour of
depots crowded wilih nervous fair
ones, who are just dying for a
glimpse of that olive drab and big 1
boots ,and planned a social stunt
which served as a bumper for the
sudden shock. Now one or all of
these aforesaid gentlemen, through
some irrelevant means, has a host of
policemen friends in Houston and it
seems as if a mutual agreement had
been made between the two groups
whereby a good peaceable entertain
ment might be had. It was listed as
a policeman’s ball and happened at
the magnificient Houston city audi
torium. The crowd due to inclement
weather was much below the expect
ed number and when the roll was
calle donly eight thousand of the
numerous invited guests answered to
their names. However, in this bunch
the chemical engineer with his shiny
boots and spurs was a conspicuous
figure and this mild form of enter
tainment served as a stepping stone
for some of the more timid aspirants
who were soon to follow a much fas
ter step than that of the study cap.
This latter chance came when the
crowd anchored at Galveston. Most
of us have a vague idea of the Island
City, being merely a village inhabit
ed by fisherman and deep sea divers
but if you are ever inspecting in the
city you will find it different from
that. In fact you will perhaps see
an array of beautiful school girls all
set for a boat ride on some big ocean
liner. That is what greeted the ca
dets who took part in Galveston Sat
urday morning, and about this boat
ride it was a real boat with huge i
masts and flying a real American
flag, fully equipped with a long
smooth deck and a good orchestra.
Under these conditions what were
these college boys supposed to do?
Well they selected a native daughter
who seemed to glide on the air and
preceded to do a few dancing tricks
that would be the same to a corps
dance that a banana peeling is to a
pedestrian. It was here under the in
fluence of this cool sea breeze that
wafted above the decks of that ocean
liner that these A. and M. boys put
Galveston to wondering just wheth
er A. and M. is an Engineering or a
dancing school.
Each member of the party seems
to have been imbibed with this social
spirit and they all returned to Col
lege with a determined look in their
eyes and a pledge to give Bryan so
ciety a new rush within their hearts.
A.M.C.
KdWgllOOd
©lIMdg
Didja
Ever tank up on a little
Of this Bottled in Bond swagger
Into a snappy cafe and order
Everything on the menu that
You couldn’t read
The waiter brought you about
A Thousand Dollar check
And thats what started
The argument. After attracting
The attention of everyone inclu
ding your girl’s Parents
You decided that a dignified
Settlement was necessary. You
Called the manager to help
You out—and he did—
With his foot.
I wanta know.
Didja?
A.M.C.
RIDDLE.
Why is it so difficult to get rid
of a habit? Because if you take away
the “h” you still have “a-bit,” if
you remove the “a” you still have a
“bit,” so you take away the “b” you
still have “it,” and if you remove the
“i” you have it to a “t”. —Ex.
A.M.C.
A watch may have a gender,
But you can’t efface
The fact that nearly always, •
There’s a woman in the case.
A.M.C.
A Difference
Joe—“Surveying a little?”
Sunshine—“No, surveying a lot.”
A.M.C.
Mary had a little curl,
Which hung beside her ear.
When she went to bed at night.
She put it on the chiffonir.