The Battalion
POWDER PUFF
Published Weekly by the Students of the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas.
VOL. XXIX.
COLLEGE STATION, TEXAS MARCH 11, 1921.
NUMBER 23
DEAN ANNOUNCES
CO-ED COURSES AT
A. & M. COLLEGE
375 1-2 Girls at A. and M., All Reports
to the Contrary; Referred to Dean
for Detail.
By official count there are on the
A. and M. Campus exactly 375 1-2
girls. On every hand they are to be
seen, especially when classes change
and when the mail is being assoi’ted.
We think perhaps the frequency with
which the Mail Hounds frequent the
limited space around the Faculty Ex
change is partially, at least, due to
the repeated assaults which our fail
(?) Three Hundred make upon the
post office. Judging from the num
ber of trips made daily by these maids
one would surmise that the mail was
distributed at least twenty-five times
per.
But back to the Co-Eds. Aggies
will put theirs up as being the most
industrious in the wide, wide world.
They can chew gum with most re
markable rapidity. They can dance
seven nights in the week and look
as fresh and beautiful as Aurora Bo
realis. They can make the double
length of the Military Walk
just seventeen times during the noon
hour. With astonishing farsighted
policy they can keep an unlimited
number of cadets on the string—not
all on the said string are necessarily
Fish.
The principal courses in the cur
ricula of the A. and M. Co-Eds are:
Esthetic Gum Chewing, (U. Smack-
em, head of department).
Modern Methods of Warfare, (A
course in Baby Talk, Spit-Curls, Deb
Private Speaking, (Paul Whisper
Drummett, A. D., B. C., head of De
partment).
Automatic Chauffering, (Shorty
Sherrill, M. S. R. Y., head of De
partment).
Fine Arts, (This course includes
proper application of the lip stick,
r.^vw’-ar puff. and. painting, in general).
v- 01 S of the above course
1 idly stimulating^ (Professional
mirers / be conferred, with
^tiors and ceremony,
u.-ticulars address,
THE DEAN,
College Station, Texas.
my opinions of a. and m. c.
I have entertained my varied
opinions since I first knew of A. and
M. College. When I was a very lit
tle girl, I thought that A. and M.
was a college where boys went to
learn how to be better farmers, and
how to make and use machinery.
Several years later, I decided that
all A. and M. boys did was to go
from place to place and play foot
ball. It was not until I entered col
lege, and began receiving the weekly
Battalion that I changed my mind
again.
Now, I think of A. and M. as a
college where real men are graduated
I think of them as being developed
in mind as well as in body. But I
did not get this point of view until
I read “With the Old Timers”. In
ihat I saw that A. and M. boys im
mediately on graduation took posit
ions of responsibility and promi
nence. I saw where A. and M. s
prominent athletes were holding high
positions as contractors and engi
neers both at home and abroad. I
met several successful farmers who
were A. and M. alumni. All this
showed me that they played the game
of life equally as well as the game
on the gridiron.
QUEENIE’S QUESTIONNAIRE ON
SELECTED SENIORS.
Did you know that
Denny and Pete are rabbit hunters
par excellence?
Cop Forsythe is very unsuccessful
at the same game?
“Doug” Thomas is in favor of mar
riages to the extent of financing
them ?
“Hound” Murphree’s future should
be a cook of quality and quan
tity, mostly quantity?
Bill Frame resembles a character
doll but a live one?
Wagstaff declined to be married
off?
Hatley is called “Baby Boy”?
“Squirrell” Denning is called
“Papa’.’?
Doubting this you have my per
mission to question those concern
ed.
—Kaveda.
POLITICS MEET
WITH DISFAVOR
No West Texas A. and M. Desired
By Young Ladies of Bryan and
Vicinity.
By far the greatest political issue
which has come before the State Leg
islature according to the thinking of
Bryan girls, is the question of a West
Texas A. and M. To be or not to be
—that’s the questio nthose goggle eyed
ward politicians are whetting away at.
To many citizens of the State, the
question is one of little interest, but
to the young ladies in a radius of five
or ten miles of the campus, it is most
pressing.
Why in the world do they insist on
this West Texas propaganda, anyway?
Think of how we will miss from the
ranks of our uniformed (also unin
formed) admirers those wide som-
breras and clinking spurs of western
origin. From the ranks of our Aggie
Fish will be gone the champion broom
stick equestrians. The Cavalry will
lose its choicest broncho busters. From
the social calendar of our erstwhile
merry springtime will be gone the
West Texas Club Banquet with its
“plain” atmosphere.
When West Texas boys stay at
home to attend a West Texas A. and
M., our moonlight nights will no long
er ring with the silver-tongued ser-
enaders with their cowboy songs. Our
moonlight nights will then be still—
while the westerners are in moonlight
stills. With Senator Parr as presi
dent, the rank and file of our West
Texas tudents will bow before booted
and spurred 'West Texas girls.
In other works, we’re agin’ a West
Texas A. and M. In fact, we’re ready
to put up a bonus to keep those West
Texas cadets at College Station.
Their handshake’s a little stronger,
their hair’s a little blonder, their ways
a little fonder.
We’re for one A. and M., now,
henceforth, and forever. And when it’s
moved from College Station, we have
our plans to fold our tents like the
Arabs, and as silently steal along with
you.
- A BRYAN CO-ED.
WE WONDER WHY?
1. There is so much agitation about
short skirts? We like them.
2. A. and M. doesn’t have a glee club
to make us a visit?
3. Boys don’t use more brilliantine ?
4. Men think we’ve lost our appe
tites ?
5. Austin College doesn’t live up to
its name ?
6. Why don’t all become man-haters
and suffragettes?
—K. K. Kelloge.
BY THEIR DECLARATIONS YE
SHALL KNOW THEM!
“I love the light in your eyes”!—
E. E.
“In my sight you are perfect”!—-
C. E.
“I cannot analyze my love for
you”!—Ch. E.
“I’m just a tool in your hands”!—
M. E.
“Around you I’m weaving my
dreams”!—T. E.
“For you alone I have made these
plans” !—Arch.
“You are like unto a beautiful
butterfly”!—Bughunter.
—Kaveda.
A STARTLING STATEMENT.
KIDD-KEY
has seemingly a mania for bobbed-
hair which
DOESN’T
end all of the shortness of fashion
round here. We
LIKE
two shakes—no hairnet—Hurrah for
BOBBED-HAIR!
A LADY MUSTANG TO
TO CUE-BALL’S PRIDE
Big little, bad little, brown little worm
Tell me for goodness sake—what
makes you squirm ?
Why do you wiggle your head around
so ?
Tell me, old worm, do you really
know ?
There now, you dear little fortunate
worm,
All you can do is to wiggle and
squirm; ;
Mortals must study and suffer and
strive.
While all you need to do is to just
be alive.
—Annajane.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
FOR 1921 SUMMER
SESSION CO-EDS
Coach Bible and Major Warden On In
structional Staff; Vamping, Walk
ing, Talking, Etc.
The Summer School Bulletins are
now off the press and may be obtain
ed for fifteen cents by calling at the
Less Change Store.
The course which bids fair to at-
tract widest attention is the course
to be given by Professor Bible en
titled “First Steps in Vamping.” This
course carries three discredit hours
and is required of all Heads of De
partments and is an elective in all
courses and discourses.
Major Warden will be in charge of
the Department of Military Walks
and Talks. Classes will be held each
evening when Luna is out as this was
thought the most appropriate time
for the loons to be out. Major Wai’-
den has had considerable experience
in moonlight porchtivities as last
summer’s Co-Eds can testify. This
course carries no theoretical credit
but requires diligent practice.
A coui’se that is attracting more or
less, mostly less, attention is the
course Meet-her-ology. Star-gazing
will be stressed in this course, and
(he accompanying arts will be given
dew notice. The stellular Co-Eds of
Summer School will shine in this par
ticular course.
“T” CLUB SECRETS.
The following is an exact copy of a
“night letter” received by a member
of our “T” Club, and a certain slimy
Fish. It was composed and sent by
two Texas University girls, whom
these two A. and M. boys fondly claim
as “private property.” Judge for
yourself:
Austin, Texas, Feb. 6.
Mr.
Hall,
College Station, Texas.
Dearest M and S :
Have just moved into our new home,
ten four east ninety first. Landlady
advocates out-of-town visitors. Large
fireplace, big chairs, dark corners,
Divans, porches, swings. Everything
settin’ Jake. When shall we expect
you?
H and L .
Now, we ask, would you go? Well,
M and S have just re
turned! ,
ALIMONY
I came, I saw, I pressed her hand!
I begged her for a kiss.
She blushed, looked down/
I stole the prize;
It was a dream of bilss.
I’ve wakened from my dream since
then,
That kiss has cost me dear;
I’m paying alimony now
For it, twelve times a year!
MUTUAL BENEFIT
ASSOCIATION
FORMED BY GIRLS
Will Make Adjustments Between
Local and Home Girls and
Love Affairs.
For the benefit of Bryan girls and
the “girl he left behind him”, a bu-
ueau of information has been formed.
This bureau will keep a dis-card index
list og A. and M. cadets and will strive
toU/ow no partiality whatever in the
dissemination of information. For the
benefit of the girl at home, at tab will
be kept on each sassiety killer as to
his social moves in and around Bryan.
Vice versa, the Bryan girls will be
able to know just who is his latest en
gagement in the home town and what
the chances are of busting it up.
This plan, it is believed, wil ure-
clude the possibilities of promiscuous
heartbreaking which has become con
ventional with the Aggies.
If you’re interested, girls, address
Mis-Information, care Battalion. All
business will be strictly confidential
and no charges will be made for ser
vices rendered—(strictly cash basis).
LIFE IS MADE UP OF ONE D
THING AFTER ANOTHER
If times are hard and you are blue,
Think of others, worrying too;
Just because your trials are many,
Don’t think the rest of us havne’t
any.
Life is made up of smiles and tears,
Joys and sorrows, mixed with fears;
And though to us it seems one-sided,
Trouble is pretty well divided.
If we could look in every heart.
We’d find that each one has its part,
And those who travel fortune’s road,
Sometimes carry the biggest load.
1914
WINE, WOMEN AND SONG.
1921
Near Beer, Chickens and Jazz.
Laugh and the faculty laughs with
you.
As long as you laugh at the students
alone.
But when you get a laugh on the
teachers—
You are sure to be sent home!
(Adopted—With due apologies to the
poets).
:.k *
Of all sad words of tougue or pen,
The saddest of all “I’m broke again.”
OUTCLASSED.
A party of University girls were in
the country for their vacation and
they had gathered together to dis
cuss the events of the day.
Peg: “That young farmer boy
tried to kiss me, saying he had never
kissed a girl before.”
Helen: “What did you tell him?”
Peg: “That I was no agricultural
experiment sation.”
What we want to know is: does
“Red” Thompson tell all the girls the
same thing?
RISE AND FALL OF
A COLLEGE VAMP
Or Confession of a Former Campus
Queen As Told In Utmost
Confidence.
I was first drawn into the vortex of
college society when sweet sixteen (at
that time I could truthfully say I had
never been kisesed), and for the space
of several years I was rushed, aired
and carried out, and even axed as a
part of my special college education.
I was greatly in demand, although
I laid no claim to great intelligence
or accomplishments. My great power
lay in my personality and affectionate
disposition. Some said I was pop
ular because I had completely dis
arranged the sweet simplicity of my
youth (Miss Neverwillbe Popular
started this bit of gossip) but I shall
here cite some of the many reasons
for my increasing (would that it were
never-ending) popularity:
I wore extreme clothes (extremely
short and scanty) cultivated a taste
for semi-risque stories (to the ex
tent of subscribing to that well known
little magazine published many miles
from a railroad, but which by the way,
I have very opportunely forgotten the
title of) and I was considered very
adept in the art of vamping. I
weeded my brows, marcelled by blonde
locks, even dyed it when fashion de
creed thusly and artistically applied
the natural coloring (sometimes fool
ing others but most of the time vice
versa). I even went so far as to re
duce when overweight in my bathing
suit in order that I might retain my
usual startling appearance in evening
dress. I wore hose that called forth
comment from great “clock” manufac
turers, and others, that caused spiders
to run green with envy when they
thought of the competition in “weav
ing.” (Thank goodness I didn’t meet
Mack Sennett on the street anytime).
Now won’t you agree with me that my
sweet young life was just one thrill
after another?
Alas! Behold me now, supplanted by
the youngdi generation (even young
er in ideas than years), although I
could (if called on) display the usual
amount of pep, chatter a “good line”
and dance the very latest (I’m not
rheumatic and still carry insurance on
my shoulders). Because of my sudden
fall I do not “gripe”, but why is it
that when I am lost in the memories
of some sweet recollection (say my
first proposal) that I am suddenly in
terrupted with the assurance: “Peg
gy, you have been (sounds like ‘has-
ben’) a good sport.” And behold
this cometh forth from a present day
social lion (or tea-hound) rocked by
me in cradle rocking days! ‘Tis truly
a voice from the past . Oh, death,
where is thy sting?
“Original—But Anonymous.”
COLLEGE BREAD.
Some folks think that by college
BREAD,
We mean a four year’s LOAF,
But to the college girl and boy
I dedicate this toast.
Before we start our college life
We KNEAD a little DOUGH
And when our parents ROLL it out,
We then prepare to go.
Our work and play should be WELL
MIXED,
Our work should be WELL DONE.
If we add some “pep” to our college
life,
We will have a lot of fun.
We should not loaf our time away.
Our aim is to DIGEST.
College BREAD is not a four year’s
LOAF,
If each one does his best.
—MARY ARNOLD.
OR THE FENCE.
She sang and she sang: “I will
hang my harp on a Willow tr-e-e, I
will hang my harp on a willow
tre-e,” each time breaking on the high
note.
Finally the patient father from the
next room ventured: “Better hang it
on a lower branch, Liz.”
OR HEADACHE?
POWDER PUFF
VITAL NEED IS
FEMININE VERDICT
Calcimining Is Essential to Fem
inine Charm. Say
the Girls.
We do not assume to know nearly
all about the nature and uses of a
powder puff. Our friend, Mr. Web
ster, defines powder as a substance in
dry particles such as are produced by
grinding, and a puff is a soft ball used
to apply this powder to the skin.
Powder, of course, may be used for
many purposes. There is the powder
used for explosive purposes. This, if
applied to the skin might become dan
gerous because many of our A. and M.
friends smoke. Those of us who have
friends who chew may consider our
selves lucky if we happen to use the
explosive sort of powder.
Then there is the powder that in it
self is as harmless as a dove. It is
the sort that makes “A skin you love
to touch” and therein lies the danger.
When powder becomes a touching sub
ject, it is time for our mothers to in
terfere—and they generally do—hence
the boys who have not ridden in just
to hear us sing, do not come back.
We wonder just what sort of pow
der the co-eds all over the state use.
We are quite sure when we look at
the C. I. A. beauties that theirs must
be some sort of home brew—for no
where else on earth have we seen any
maidens who look just like them af
ter they have put on their complex
ions. The S. M. U. beles use “Djer
Kiss’ we’re sure—they are without a
doubt the dearest ones ever kissed.
Those of us who have friends at
Prairie View can swear that our
dusky damsel there uses “Lilly
White”. The snobbish little Rice
lassies—are as usual—a little differ
ent from the rest of the world and use
pure unadulterated rice powder. Take
it from them, they want no substi
tutes. But whoever we are and where-
eVPX* txuqVo fyrwry • "'■L+frr''
you like us heaps better after we’re all
calcununed up. You don’t want us in
the “raw” so to speak.
“There are rocks on the mountains,
And fish in the sea—
But the powder and paint
Made a belle out of me.”
LATEST CLASSICS—WITH
HELPFUL EXPLANATIONS.
AS WE LIKE IT. (Only one Tex
as A. and M.)
MIDNIGHT SUMMER’S DREAM:
(A foolish Fish who thought of cush).
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD: (It all
depends upon the girl in the case).
TEN NIGHTS IN THE BAR
ROOM: For further details see Crip-
pen, Clayton, Park, Hubby, and Dinan.
P-S.—For the explanation of those
concerned we will state that the sup
ply is entirely exhausted).
BEN HUR: (He saw some girl pass
in the other guy’s car. Said it might
have BEEN HER but he did not be
lieve that she’d do him that way).
TRAIL OF THE LONESOME
PINE: (That’s the “line” that goes
to the girl back home, written on his
night “off”—from Bryan sassiety. He
may know what it means to be lone
some, but Bryan girls think they have
the dope).
MERCHANT OF VENICE: (For
particulars see Heinie).
THE PRICE SHE PAID: (A
puncture, three flats, and two blow
outs—all for one Sunday afternoon
airing out for her overworked Wearer
of the Putts).
THE GRAVE DIGGERS: (Concrete
example: Agronomy Seniors out soil
mapping).
LA CORONA: (Only sixty-five
cents, Lt. Denison).
REVIEW OF REVIEWS: (Sunday
afternoon retreat).
PRESENT DAY CIVILIZATION:
(Seeing Sunday trains go through).
THE CALL OF THE WILD:
(That’s the honk of her auto as she
passes your dormitory).
THE R E-C REATION OF
BRYAN(T): (When the sheckles are
collected from 1800 cadets each Sat
urday afternoon.)
OR TflE POLICE.
“I woul like some powder please,”
said the young miss to the drug store
clerk.
“Yes, miss. Face, gun or bug?”
Why is a ship like a lady? Because
the rigging costs so much, and she
always has a man on the lookout.
If big feet, knock-knees and bow
legs won’t make a girl wear long
skirts, what chance has modesty?
—Burr.
Why are young ladies so partial to
sunset and twilight? Because they
are daughters of Eve.