6
THE BATTALION
r
Our
Special Prices
Continue
All Woolen Regulation Shirts are Reduced
BELOW COST. All Army Shoes at
the one price
$7.15
Then too, your Civilian Dress needs will re
ceive especial attention at prices far lower than
you expect.
Remember, you can’t pay us more than
$10.00 for any shoe in our store.
A pleasure to show you.
Brandon
& Lawrence
*?• f
«g» *55*
| I
| Long Live The A. & M. f
$ Wildcats! • 1
I I
SPECIFICATIONS FOR A WIFE. “LONG DISTANCE” CLUB NOTES
HaswelPs Book Store
WE SELL
EASTMAN KODAKS AND SUPPLIES
ATHLETIC GOODS
Cadets Are Invited to Call
Stephan Bottling Works
GEO. STEPHAN, Proprietor
CHOICE BOTTLED DRINKS, SODA WATER, ETC.
v Boys Ask Dealers For Our Goods
W.E. CLOUD
I; MARKET
:: BUTCHERS AND LIVE
:: STOCK DEALERS
;; Call and See Us When in
' • Need of Our Pro-
;; ducts
■ 1 .f. .f* *f. .f* C* I "l* *X* *%* 3 I* .f. .f. *1* .f* »I° r I* .f* *f* *f* *f» .f* if*
Y” NEWS
New Department of “Y” Soon to Be
Opened.
The third floor of the “Y” building
which has recently been added is very
near completion. This floor is com
prised of rooms furnished to accom
modate the official guests of the Col
lege and the parents of students while
they are visiting here. All students
will have the privileges of using these
rooms for their guests and are invited
to do so. Those who wish to use the
building for this purpose will make
an application to the President’s of
fice and have their request approved,
there.
❖ * H«
“Y” Cabinet Delegates Attend S. V.
U. Meeting.
At the luncheon held by the “Y”
staff Wednesday night, an important
business move was that of sending-
delegates to the State Student Volun
teer Convention which will be held at
Denton on the 4th, 5th and 6th of this
month. The following delegates were
elected and left for Denton last night:
M. G. Snell, R. H. Maxwell, E. Brink-
man, Pat Olesen, Ed Taylor and
Frank Wendt.
Ollie Emmel
Rear City National Bank
Magazines
Periodicals, Sundries,
Etc.
Box Candies
fENUS
PENCILS
X’OR the student or prof.,
the superb YENUS out
rivals all for perfect pencil
work. 17 black degrees and
3 copying.
American Lead
Pencil Co.
2ZO FifthAve.
New York
^o < 4-
ODE TO AFRICAN GOLF.
Look well little creature of the
dark ages, thou too hast been picked
as the next victim of that irresistible
onslanght of vices and irregularities,
so fondly caressed and cherished by
high flower society. Little time is
left you to bring the immeasurable joy
to feminine hearts that you have so
ably accomplished thus far. Through
your machination we have come home
almost nightly with empty pockets as
silent testimony of the prowess and
The
largest selling I
quality pencil ]
in the zvorld
capability of some beautiful, inno
cent siren with the sole consolation
inbred in every gambler’s heat, that of
future recompenses gathered at the
hand of one not quite so capable or
lucky as yourself.
Descending from the days when
woman’s hand was considered a prize
and the most desirable thing to seek,
thou hast elevated those hands until
they are most adept at rolling, not
only the Bones but also rolling their
own.
Rub-My-Tism cures bruises, cuts,
sores, tetter, etc.
To break a cold take 666.
c%8c|t C%B 'I* *5* *1*
•I 1 s
DR. A. BENBOW *
DENTIST t
Phones: Office 275, Res. ^.635
2nd Floor City National Bank *
Building, Bryaxi, Texas Y
I have always showed a faculty for
exactness from the beginning, because
I have often heard my mother say
that I always left exactly three-
quarters of an ounce of milk in my
bottle at each feeding and that if
the temperature of it was over 98°
I refused to touch it. Having acquir
ed a taste for bottled goods so early
in life it is not surprising that when
at college I specified that a “schooner”
of the ancient beverage shall be con
tained in a vessel or glass 3 inches
mimimum inside diameter and not less
that six inches high, that the bot
tom of the fluid shall not be over one
inch above the surface resting- on the
mahogany and that the foam thereof
shall not be over two inches from the
top of the glass.
One day while wrestling with the
operating and non-operating require
ments of relays my frame began to
shake with chills and my lamps to
ache with fever. The “flu” had me
and I was immediately sent to bed. A
friend offered to bring my meals up
to my room but after I waited and
waited—in fact I did more waiting
than all the waiters in N. Y. In quiet
moments the apparition of a dainty
tray of victuals came to haunt me,
the attractive wife sat beside my bed,
a soft cool hand smoothed my fore
head, then it all vanished and I was
alone. I felt the need of companion
ship, so by the time my recovery was
accomplished I resolved to pick my
self a wife.
As I stated before I was very ex
act in all my methods and wanted
things just so, so I immediately form
ulated my specifications covering the
information for the selection of a wife.
I made a synopsis of my specifications
and filed them as specifications K. S.
9999, Issue I.
The following is a copy of the
synopsis made:
General: This specification covers
the information for the selection of a
wife. All who fail to qualify are cap
able of being rejected.
Description: This apparatus shall
be obtained from the Engineering
Department of the Western Electric
Co., N. Y.
It shall be approximately 5 feet
6 inches high, maxinitim width not to
exceed 1 foot, 8 inches, minimum
weight, 110 pounds, maximum, weight
130 pounds.
Exact dimensions shall not be re
quired, but columns shall be of suf
ficient bulk to avoid danger of col
lapse in times of stress and shall be
so constructed as to enhance the
esthetic value of the structure.
All exposed surfaces shall be free
from artificial finish.
All rough surfaces shall be ground
smooth and all corners rounded off.
Installation: No trial installation
shall be required.
Marking: No nameplate shall be
applied. For purposes of identifica- ('
tion the article can be marked with
flat-iron, rolling pin, or other house
hold tool.
Tool made samples: Not required.
Demand: Uncertain, depending on
the life and efficiency of apparatus.
Immediately upon my recovery I
went about to find someone to ful
fil my specifications. Within a short
while I had eliminated all except two
of my applicants and I now made
careful study of both. After taking^
into consideration the cooking, the
music and the parlor settee, I fin
ally came to the conclusion that one
of these dreamy-eyed brunettes, that
you often read about, filled my spec
ifications perfectly.
The January meeting of the Long
Distance Club was held on the east
steps of Goodwin Hall last Thurs
day night. It might be said that
this was the peppiest meeting the
club has had since Bloodworth re
signed from the club and threw his
plug away. The favorite brand for
the night was Brown Mule until some
one caught Ironhand Willis trying
to slip^a chew of Piper Heidsick on
the sly, weherupon he became very
popular and was allowed to donate
several chews free of charge. T. B.
Lewis, altho he had a dime’s worth
of Tinsley’s Premium in his mouth
at the time, tried to get in a good
chew on Ironhead and consequently
came very near choking.
Napoleon Luker won the distance
contest on 22 feet and six inches.
Woolsey won the booby prize in this
contest by stumbling and barely miss
ing his own toe. Bennett was high
man in the crack hitting game. He
scored perfect on the first eight shots
and ad the other contestants quietly
withdrew and voted him the prize
without delay. This prize was a new
Pullman spittoon which was donated
by the H. & T. C. R. R.
In the non-spitting contest, the
members saw one of the best ever
staged in this part of the state.
Bertschler and Mims were the ones
to hold on to the last and were both
doing well until Tanlac Strange
came up and started telling some
jokes when suddenly both were for
ced to give up. As luck would have
it, the prize was a plug of Tinsley's
Natural and was divided between the
winners.
The next meeting will be on Feb
ruary 22 and will be an all day af
fair.
BEFORE BREAKFAST.
Apropos of the organization of
the Air Service Unit here, we can
now truly say that the cadets march
ed to meals on winged feet.
* * *
Sergeant King to newly arrived
Freshman: “What organization do
you want to join, Infantry, Artillery,
Signal Corps, Air Service, or Cav
alry?”
* * #
The Fish had a rip-snorting good
time during the Older Boys Confer
ence; they considered themselves
nearly as high above these boys as
the Sophomores consider themselves
above the Fish.
* * *
If you want to make an English
man fight, tell him that A. E. F.
means “After England Failed”. If
you want to make a Casual see red,
simply stick one finger up in front
of him.
YOU DON’T SAY!
A VOICE FROM THE DARK
The following was written on a
blotter and left on a desk in the ex
hibit of A. and M. College at the
Waco Cotton Palace may be of in
terest to some one:
“This exhibit is simply fine. It is
the very best in the building. I won
der if the person who is here in the
day knows Mr. Robert Sherman now
attending school at A. and M.”.
Don’t you tell ’em geyser—even
if you do mean well.
* * *
Don’t you tell ’em bootlegger—
you keep still.
* * *
Don’t you tell ’em corkscrew—
you wind around too much before
you get to the point.
Jjc * *
Don’t you tell ’em mealhounds—
I saw where Red Thompson and
Julia ette Castles this morning.
H* * ❖
Don’t you tell ’em campaign hat—
you usually go over our heads.
L. S. U. 29—SPRINGHILL 24.
(Radiogram—Special to The Bat
talion). February 1, ’21. The L. S.
U. basket tossers added more glory
to their credit by defeating the fast
Springhill quintet by the score of
29-24.
To Albert
He went out speeding,
Along came a Cop;
Stuck for ten “bones”;
Go see pop.
-Ex.
By our Wildcats shall
ye know us!
at ^
.. PATRONIZE ..
The EXCHANGE STORE
In the Main Building.
EVERYTHING REQUIRED
BY THE CADET
“At a Little more than cost”
R. K. CHATHAM, Manager.
*1' •I* •X* 4* *2 C “!♦ •2“ •S’ •!* 4* 4* 4* ■X 0 *£• *2* 4* •I- 4* 4* *2 ’ ^ •X* 4* ^ 4* 4* *2* •I* 4* ^ •s* 1 4* 4* ^ 4* 4* 4* *l r "X* •2* •X* 4* ^
liilililH 1
| W>u hill find a
tJfSiiitableSifi
WE WILL BE GLAD TO SUPPLY YOUR NEEDS IN
JEWELRY, WATCHES AND
DIAMONDS
9
We are headquarters for all kinds of Col
lege Jewelry, R. V. Pins, T. Pins, Junior
Pins, Senior Rings, Two Year Rings, and
all kinds of Class Pins.
FINE WATCH REPAIRING A SPECIALTY
J. M. CALDWELL, Jeweler BRYAN, TEX.
Welcome
TO STUDENTS
CHAS. HITCH
The Campus Tailor
Cleaning—Pressing—Repairing
Suits Made to Order. The
Same Old Stand
E. F. PARKS & CO.
BRYAN’S BIG FURNITURE STORE
We carry an unusually large stock of high class fur
niture, rugs, draperies and household novelties.
We are large buyers of second hand furniture, such
as is used by the boys at A. and M.—desks, dressers, ehif-
foneers, chifforobes, etc. If you have anything you want
to dispose of see us.
WE ARE ALSO PHONOGRAPH HEADQUARTERS
%
Styleplus Clothes
Edwin Clapp Shoes
Bostonian Shoes
Stetson Hats
Webb Bros
BRYAN, TEXAS
**** 3f >f Jf Jf
J
ur Ime.
Conveniently Located in Masonic >f-
Buildir
JF® --Sr UNT JE2 ’ S
OPTICAL PARLORS
Our fourteen years of practical
>erience enables us to
>est in our line.
you
iing, Opposite Queen
Theatre
+*++*****+**+* **-**********
WM. B. CLINE, M.
Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat •§■
Specialist ^
4th Floor City National Bank
Building, Bryan, Texas
❖ j*
f WE HANDLE EVERYTHING %
% IN THE ELECTRICAL LINE *
❖ ^ A
►;* Packard and Mazda Lamps Our
♦§♦
4* Specialty £
% t
| GRIESSER & THOMPSON $
❖
Anything Electrical
4* Phone 23 4I
± 4