THE BATTALION
I Be a Wildcat
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MANY TEXANS IN NATIONAL
AGRONOMY SOCIETY
(Continued From Page 1)
is not subject ,to the ailments we so
industriously study to control and
combat in the subjects related to
agronomy, which are not taught be
cause they are parrallel to that sub
ject but because so little attention is
paid to that subject, that we are
forced to resort to the study of those
things as a means of assisting in the
growing of crops.
The Society of Agronomy is mak
ing a vigorous fight to put practical
and working knowledge of that phase
of permanent agriculture in the hands
of everyone who chooses that as his
vocation.
And it would be well for the future
agriculturalists of the country to get
to rock bottom of these principles and
appreciate them for what common
sense dictates their worth.
Agronomy students have not enter
ed the competitive field in this state
as has the students in the other de
partments and some reason might be
given for that, that men of ability are
needed so badly that they are taken
in and given a place that calls for a
further contribution towards the fur
thering of agronomic work. But with
the challenge that lands of this state
make and with the total number of 42
men actually engaged in administer
ing to that need, the field takes such
vast proportions that one is at a loss
where to begin.
The Texas Branch which was form
ed at College last September, fur
nished the 18 new members mentioned
in the article and at present no other
such organization is to be found in the
state, and it is understood that while
no definite action has been taken by
the local section as to its future pol
icy the keynote seems to be a source
of available men for the positions
that stand open. The breach in the
chain will be closed through organiza
tion, which has so noticeably marked
the work in this state. Fullest coop
eration is assured by the National
Headquarters and it only remains for
the section here to let its wishes and
desires be known.
DR. AND MRS MARSTELLAR EN
TERTAIN VET. STUDENTS.
Wednesday evening the members
of the Senior and Junior classes in
Veterinary Science were the dinner
guests of Dr. and Mrs. R. P. Mar-
stellar at their campus home. The
dining room was most appropriately
decorated for a gathering of young
^erinarians, the center piece be-
corral in which a miniature
/ey with a bandaged leg grazed
green clover. The place cards
ere in the form of some animal.
The first to complete his picture re
ceived the donkey as a prize. Walter
Johnson was the lucky man. After
the contest a delightful dinner was
served. The menu was as follows:
Roast Turkey
Dressing Oysters
Green Peas
Hot Rolls Pickles Olives
Ice Cream and Cake with Candied
Orange Peel was the Desert.
Coffee and Cigars.
After the dinner, cards and music
furnished entertainment until the
students made their departure. The
Senior and Junior Veterinary stu
dents wish to express their hearty
appreciation of the hospitality ex
tended by Dr. and Mrs. Marstellar.
STUDENTS OF HORTICULTURE
ENTERTAINER AT HOME OF
DEAN AND MRS. KYLE.
Last night the faculty of the De
partment of Horticulture and all
Senior, and Graduate students were
entertained with a delightful oyster
supper at the home of Dean and Mrs.
E. J. Kyle. That a most enjoyable
evening was spent goes without say
ing for the repetation of the Kyle
home as a social center and of the
Dean and Mrs. Kyle as hosts is well
known on the campus. A more de
tailed account will be given in a
later edition.
FEBRUARY 8TH IS DATE
OF SECOND NOVICE MEET
The preliminaries for the Second
Novice Meet will be held in the Air-
dome Tuesday night. February 8th.
The finals will be decided on the 10.
All men wnc wish are invited to par
ticipate. The winner of two out of
three contests wins the college tiP.e
to his weight and recedes a medal.
Entries should be made, by Sunday
night so contestants can weigh in be
fore breakfast Monday. Names
should be handed to Maxwell, Snell,
Masuda, Gardner, Capt. King or
Coach Jones sometime this week.
The mats have been cleaned and
sunned and are in good shape for
this week. Special care will be tak
en for the rest of this month to care
for any mat burns to prevent possi
ble infection. The season closes in
a month with the Texas, Oklahoma
meet.
and thought. He scratched them
again but not for a gain. He was
at a loss just what to do.
Finally a lesser deity made his way
before the discipline committee and,
in tones that bespoke his rank, made
known his plan for making the pam
pered Terence realize his insignifi-
cence as a martyr.
A mighty shout arose that made
all the rocks on high Olympus rock.
At last the problem was solved!
But by whom and how? By an ex-
A. and M. man, of course! His plan
was that McSwinney be transformed
from an angel to a cadet, and be
forced to eat in the Mess Hall for
a week. Cheer up, McSwinney, this
isn’t a true story.
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Jack—“Papa what is the board of
education?”
Father—“Why, when I was in
school it was a shingle.”—Ex.
DEATH WHERE IS THY STING?
Many economists assert that Ter
ence McSwinney was a profiteer, be
cause he did not want food to go
down. As a result he was measured
for a wooden Kimona, thus disprov
ing the theory that he was a profit
here. Some advanced the theory
that Terence was a dyspeptic, while
others maintained that he was dying
to get his name in the Bryan Eagle.
It may be the height of imagina
tion but we take it for granted that
this wild Irish rose. Therefore,
shortly after throwing up the sponge
and other articles he had in soak,
he was issued a pair of wings and a
harp. Me. never used the harp
thoqgh, because he liked to harp on
having made such an Irish stew.
Terence imbibed ambrosia and
nectar to his hearts content, as soon
as he discovered and uncovered the
celestial punch-bowl; because he
felt pretty certain that he wouldn’t
be bothered by doctors any longer.
It wasn’t long, however, before
he tired of high celestial mirth; be
cause he had once lived in Ireland.
He began pondering over his situ
ation ; now he was only a minor
angel, while on Earth he was a Lord
Mayor.
Ambrosia and nectar soon lost
their “kick”, and he began hunger
ing for Cork. He was humored with
this light diet for a while, and his
ability to float around in tennous
ether was simply corking. Never
theless, he made the statement that
he would like to go back to Killar-
ney. This frightened many of the
lesser Deities and he was promptly
reported to the Heavenly Discipline
Committee (no contrast implied) be
fore such rash ideas would start to
Dublin.
It was a very serious offense to
delude the inhabitants of Earth into
thinking that he was an Irish martyr
when, in reality, he, was Welsh-Irish
with a little Scotch in him—at times.
It was decided that punishment
should be meted out to him propor
tional to the magnitude of the crim°.
He must be made to realize that he
was not such a martyr after all—
but how? Some expressed the idea
of sending him where “Keep the
Home Fires Burning” is the national
anthem, but they were told to keep
cool. That he must be made to rea
lize that he was not such a martyr
was the consensus of opinion but, by
what means?
The chairman scratched his head
A funny little thing
A frog are.
Ain’t got no tail
Almost hardly;
When he hop, he yump;
When he yump, he sit
On he little tail
Wot he ain’t got
Almost hardly.
Latin’s a dead language.
As dead as dead can be,
It’s killed out all the Romans,
And now it’s killing me.
—Aegis.
Little Vernon.
Litte Vernon found his dad’s home
brew.
Thought he’d see what the stuff
would do—■
He took two drinks and climbed a
tree
And never came back to normalcy.
—Iowa Frivol.
’Twas Hard to Get.
He sits alone before the fire.
And smiles, self-satisfied.
He’s thinking now of how she looked
And of the many times he tried
And tried to get his courage up
Before he finally did it.
He’s gloating o’er that first kiss yet
Because that kiss was hard to get.
She sits before the looking glass,
Still happy and content,
Her cup of joy is full because
He did just what she meant
To make the fond man do.
Thru all those weeks of planning.
She’s gloating o’er that last kiss yet
Because that kiss was hard to get.
—Johnnie Louise Folse.
Just a cracker one to lave
’S a sma’ request;
If e’er a lonesome crumb I save
Ye never miss ’t!
I see my clothes laid bare an’ waste;
All my civics goin’ fast,
An’ cozie here beneath my hat
Ye thought to dwell—
Till crash! My trap at last
Upon thee fell!
These wee bit heap o’ cloth an’ stib-
ble
Has cost thee mony a weary nibble!
An’ now has turned thee out for all
thy trouble,
O’ house or hald;
I cast thee now, with mony a gibble
Into the cauld!
Thou art at rest; but what of me!
The present only toucheth thee,
But Och! I backward cast my e’e
On these scraps here!
An’ forward tho’ I canna see
I guess an’ fear!
Ah, mousie, no more am I vain
Thou’st tau’t me to see too plain
The best-made things o’ mice an’
men
Gang aft agley
An’ lea’e us nought but rags an’
ruin
To strew our way!
—Lass-iO.
Why Adam Mars Enjoyed His
Christmas Holidays:
Christmas holidays.
When Adam in bliss,
Asked his girl for a kiss,
She puckered her lips with a coo;
Gave looks so ecstatic,
And answered emphatic
“I don’t care Adam if I do.”
When Co-Eds Take Sunday Dinner
Az Lyerly being deaf in one ear is
now sleeping on his good one, so
he can’t hear himself snore.
She—“Do you like bananas?”
Az (rather deaf)— “No mam, I
prefer the old fashioned night shirt.”
—Ex.
To a C. I. A. Mouse
(With apologies to Burns)
Ye wee, bold, nervy thieving beastis,
O, what a panic’s in my breastie
Thou make’st me start awa’ as hasty
Wi’ ye bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to have ye rin an’
chase me
Wi’ murd’ring pattle!
I’m truly sorry thy dominion
Has broken up my closet’s union
An’ justifies that ill opinion
Which makes me startle
At thee, thou, poor, low-down com
panion
But ever-present mortal.
Doubt ye na, whiles thou from me
thave,
That I, poor creature, twa maun live?
The Delusion.
I walked to town this evening with a
girl,
A pretty girl whose teeth were white
as pearl.
Her wondrous eyes were of a glori
ous hue
An azure ne’er to be forgotten blue.
Her lips were crimson as a full blown
rose
And just above them was a perfect
nose.
Her cheeks were soft as softest eider
down
Her smiling face was crossed by not
a frown.
Her golden hair was fit for God to
see,
Such hair as mortals never hoped
might be.
Yes truly, it was purest joy serene
With such a pretty damselle to be
seen.
The Reality.
The sun unhid itself from behind the
mist
And then my love appeared much less
with beauty kissed.
Her teeth were bleached with purest
lemon juice,
Her eyes were ugly as the very deuce.
And too much rouge appeared upon
her lips.
While cream upon the end of finger
tips
Had wrought pure havoc with her
cheeks and more.
Her hair was false. My cherished
dream was o’er.
—Exchange.
Experimentary Chemistry.
Bill, in search of something new
Poured a pint of hydroflu
In his father’s oxford shoe;
Just to see what it would do
As research work it isn’t bad
But t’was rather rough on dad.
Johnnie, in his careless glee
Mixed up I and NH3
When the stuff was dry and thick
Johnnie hit it with a brick,
Johnnie’s now in heaven they say—
At least he surely went that way.
Little Jane was happy when
She found a lump of KCN
“Pa likes lot of sweets” said she
So she put it in his tea
(Strange how died and suicide
Rhyme so well with cyanide).
WOMAN
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S. M. U
LADIES’ CHORAL CLUB
GUION HALL
WEDNESDAY, FEB. 9, 1921
S R. M.
Admission SOc. Students 35c. Children 25c.
ALL- SEATS RESERVED AT BRANDON & LAWRENCE
AND AT THE V. M. C. A.
(Lost chorus of “Atlanta in Caly-
don”)
When the years were but infants toss
ing
In the ancient cradle of time,
Man wandered the earth like a lost
thing,
Groping and blind in the slime.
And the high gods saw his sorrow,
They had only fashioned a slave;
So they said: “We must give him a
tyrant.
If his soul we are to save. ”
Then they made them the strangest
creature—■
Ah! the high gods they were
wise!—
With heart of brass and hair of gold,
And two twin stars for eyes.
They filled all her years with beauty,
They filled all her hours with fun,
But her head they left as empty
As the sounding kettle-drum
Oh! they made them the strangest
creature,
And man to her yoke has been
bent;
Smiles are her cruelest weapons,
Her weakness in her strength.
She charms by display of slim ankle,
She concealeth her ears and her
toes;
And they gave her red paste for her
features,
The ExchangeTailor Shop
C. S. BECKWITH, PROPRIETOR
Is
of
going to give M. E. Wallace
The Wallace Printing Go. a
suit of clothes so he can have
the ones he now wears cleaned
and pressed.
SHOP REAR OF EXCHANGE BARBER SHOP
CADETS INVITED TO CALL
KING’S AND NUNNELLY’S
FINE CANDIES, FOUNTAIN DRINKS, CIGARS
—AT—
HOLMES BROS.
CONFECTIONERY
THE HOME OF THE BEST MALTED MILK
.gs t%a e%o c>|. 8%. »%»»%» »%» »%> »|* *1° ^ *1* »X* **1* *$* ^ •l* ^ •I* *1* *1* *1* *1* *%* ^ 1
And dust to put on her nose.
Her talk is an outlander’s jargon,
Given with pouts and with sighs;
Her talk is of love and of lovers,
Of stars and of moons and of
skies.
Yes! they made them the strangest
creature, /
And she conqners man \ with a
glance.
Yet her day is a yawn or a simper
Between a dance and a dance.
—Pelican
A Tragic Comedy.
Act I.
Soph: “Hello, Ignorance!”
Xmas Fish: “Hi, Bliss!”
(Curtain)
Act II.
Xmas Fish: “But I didn’t know
you were a Soph.”
Soph: “Oh! “$%&’()**”
And the war was on!
Hard Luck.
Failed in Latin, flunked in Math,
I heard him savagely hiss;
I’d like to find the guy who said
That ignorance is bliss.
—Ex.
Ain’t it the Truth ?
If a man could make love to the
girl he loves with the ease and
fluency with which he makes love to
the girl he doesn’t love, all wooing
would be successful.—Nashville Ten
nesseean.
Things Ain’t What they Seem.
You go a-walking down the street,
And trail a nifty jane.
She trots a pair of high spool heels
And boasts a hefty mane.
You double time and hurry up;
You plot a clever scheme.
But as she turns and looks around—
Then things ain’t what they seem.
—Froth.
YOU LIAR..
3333 A. D.
His movements were very myster
ious. He crossed to the door and
locked it. Then he pulled the win
dow shades down and breathed a
sigh of relief. Could there be any
one secreted within the room? Suit
ing action to the thought he assured
himself, by search, that no miscreant
was jiear.
Pressing a button that was con
cealed under a shelving of the wall
he awaited results with breathless ex
pectation. A sardonic grin lit his
suave countenance as with a
sliding motion a portion of the
wall slid aside and there lay revealed
before his eyes a steel safe built into
the wall.
With one eager movement his slim
Jack:
men”.
Jean:
Jack:
Widow.
‘Girls are prettier than
“Why, naturally.’
‘No, artificially.
NO CUTS IN HAIRCUTS.
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and spotless fingers moved the little
ivory knob back and forth. His
impatient ears heard the click of the
dropping tumblers. With the great
est of alacrity he threw the door
open. His eyes were alight with ex
pectation as he inserted the key in
the lock and opened the inner door.
He opened the door, an eager and
expectant look on his face but in
stantly it was replaced by one of as
tonishment and chargin. It was not
there. It couldn’t have been brok
en. He knew that. It had been
five years since he had left the token
of his search in this secret and hid
den rendezvous.
How he craved it then. It was
at a time when nothing was allowed
to be had other than water and food.
The times were indeed temperate and
sober, but then a thought struck him
and for five minutes he was speecn-
less. He quivered and shook like a
leaf. Then with silent abandon he
bowed his head and soliloquized.
The family heirloom was gone.
And then he remembered; the last
in the world had been lost when he
was carrying it from the museum to
the hiding place. He had been slug
ged by some thieves and it had been
stolen from him by them. For years
he had not been able to remember—
but now, everything was clear. He
had regained his memory but at
what a cost. The last in the world
was gone. No! No! Not that!—A
Cigar.
-Cornell
According to Bradstreet “there
has been a decline of 25 percent in
the general average of commodity
prices from February 1, 1920 to
December 1, 1920”, and things have
gone down steadily since then. We
are looking forward with keen an
ticipation to that 35 cent haircut and
15 cent shave!
Wm. H. Boothe, Jr. ’17 of Gon
zales was married to Miss Maurine
Ingraham formerly a teacher in the
high school at Gonzales in San An
tonio last week.
Booth who was born and reared in
Gonzales joined the aviation service
while a student here and won a com
mission as lieutenant serving as an
aviator overseas for some months
previous to the signing of the arm
istice.
Rub-My-Tism relieves Rheumatism,
Neuralgia, Sprains.
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ALL wildcat: I
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Think Wildcat!
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