*** ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ *X* ❖ *X+ ❖ ♦> ❖ ^ **.
❖ »J*
❖ STRANGE TO SAY *
❖ *
❖ <x+ *x* 'X* ♦*+ <{» «.*<■ .jf
Dr. Bizzell’s attention has been
turned of late, to a study of indus
trial problems and labor unions. Only
the other day part of his office force
was tied up.
* * *
T. C. U. outplayed the Praying
Colonels the first quarter last Satur
day, but, unfprtunately, played the
last three quarters against the prey
ing Colonels.
* * *
And a Merry Christmas was had by
all. Too bad that “Chick” Evans had
to spend New Year’s Day on the train
but you know classes were resumed
last Monday.
:Js ;I:
California State clearly displayed
last Saturday that she has next to
the best football team west of the
Brazos when she “laid” Ohio State
down with a “goose-egg.” Ohio’s
score was the beginning and'the end
of O-hi-o.
A STORY—C?
The scene opens in the great out-
’o-doors as the hero named Sherrill
rides up on his trusty steed and dis
mounts Under (a)wood to Reid. A
Strange Payne attacks him for a
“Short(y)” while and he appears to
be in “Misery.” He is dreaming of
the day when he shall have a Real
Castle and a Fouraker lot to call his
own. The villian rides up just as the
hero sings a sweet ChristmasCarroll
and gives him a Rapp on the head but
hero did not enjoy the Knox. The
heroine rides up just as Sherrill gives
the villian a Northcutt to the eye.
A Forester came up and interfered.
As soon as he saw it was a Jap-our
hero ceased fighting.
(Curtain.)
(Scene two has no bearing on the
story but shows our hero as the
dreamer he is).
The hero is dreaming of his Foster
brother who had been lost in the
woods but had been found by a Mil
ler. He also dreams of how he used
to drink Casa-Day of Ginn and how
Hardy a Cooper his father had been
before his wife used to P(a)et’er Son.
He was always Hurrling something
at her because he did not give A-
Dam(s). The dream changes to Hy
land where theis is a Hole-Camp and
where many oil Riggs are in view. But
Strange to say, the dream fades and
he awakes.
( Curtain).
(The third scene is the most thrill
ing). The villian says to himself,
Howell we kill her unless we
P(f)luger full ’o bullets. He wrote
to his accomplices on an Oliver and
asked for their opinion. They re
plied that it could be Dun-a-g(i)n.
They hid behind the Ross monument
and waited for her. The hero is in
the “Y”. He Bohls awhile and then
says to Jack-“son where is Ma-lone I
let you Have last week?” As the fel
low did not have it he Sherrill went
over to the first sergeant and got a
Dameret.
He then goes toward the main
building aijd sees the heroine snatched
up by the dastardly villian. He gives
fight and the miscreants retreat faster
than a Gatlin could shoot. He did
not follow them for he said to him
self, “Oh, well! They’re McCullough.
He and the heroine step into his
Hudson and he drives off Boriskie (ly)
toward the town of Sheffield. And
another sunset as a perfect day ended.
FINIS.
(Note: All blackface type indicates
the name of a man in Co. C., in
fantry).
FISH QUEER.
AFTER DINNER OBSERVATIONS.
Well, anyhow, we are assured that
when our sons come to A. and M. they
won’t have any trouble working their
way thru school, since there will be
always plenty of work in cleaning up
the mess left by the burnt down M.
E. Shops.
* * *
The height of our ambition is to
read a letter from our oldest boy in
which he states that he climbed up
the water tower and painted a great
big glorious 44 all over the thing.
* * ❖
Tomorrow will be the first day in
the history of A. and M. that two hun
dred and fifty students will each
have fifty dollars in their pockets;
and it’s a shame that you wont be
able to say the same thing on Mon
day.
* * * *
Far be it from us to be knocking
the Air Service, but we really believe
that they are serving us enough of it
already—and hot at that.
Customer: “Bowl of oyster soup,
two scrambled eggs, coffee and brown
bread.”
Ex-S. A. T. C. waiter: “Marines in
the mud, two squads, deploy ’em, cup
of reveille and colored shock troops!”
—Rutgers Targum.
♦$*- •*'£*- ♦J*- ♦£«- -*$»■ tl-*- tl*-
❖ *
* BULLETIN BOARD *
❖ *
A Company Paragraphs.
“Top-Kick” Carruthers had a birth
day the other day and celebrated the
event in Bryan. Ever since the Y
banquet he’s been finding some ex
cuse to go to Bryan every night or
so. Be careful Bob, don’t lose any
more of your pins.
* * *
It has been rumored that Sgt.
“Duck” Styles borrowed Sgt. Rea’s
R. V. cap to have his picture made in.
“Duck,” we wondered what made the
picture look so “military-like.”
* * *
A certain sergeant in this organi
zation escorted a very handsome “he-
woman” to the lyceum the other
night. We congratulate you “Sarg,”
for your shrewdness, also for your
feminine taste. However, we sin
cerely hope that you will change your
taste before the hour of matrimonial
unification approaches you.
* * *
WANTED—One “Human Maxim-
Silencer” for Sgt. Wendt. He makes
so much noise at drill we can’t hear
the captain’s commands.
* * *
Don’t worry “Fishes”, you needn’t
write Santa any letter. You’ll get
just lots and lots of presents even
before Christmas.
Troop B Notes.
The Squadron football team is lin
ing up and it’s going to take a good
outfit to tame the Hoopers.
* * *
The weekly “Round-Up” took place
Saturday night. The “equipment”
race was pulled off in record time.
In wrestling, Slime Willig was sensa
tional and he threw the noted Omsler
by his famous Japanese toe-hold.
Slime Terry was knocked out in a
fast and furious blind-folded boxing
bout. Fish Burrows delivered a rous
ing lecture on Wild Women. Fish
Henry took the floor amid much ap
plause and by an illustrated lecture,
he proved to all present that love is
like photography because it has to
be developed in the dark. It was a
success as “Tango” stayed awake
throughout. At the next meeting all
“mavericks” will be branded.
* * *
Ask Jack Delaney why he rides be
hind the saddle when he takes the hur
dles.
* * *
Thompson and Forsythe to visit the
Border. In the near future these two
daring characters will depart for the
wild and wooly land of Mexican ban
dits. Dressed in cowboy garb, boots,
spurs, broad-brim hat, red bandana
and with six-shooters slung on each
hip, they will step across the border
at Mercedes and yell: “Run out the
worst you’ve got; this old iron of
mime has been cold too long!” Esit-
mated trophies of chase: Killed:
seventeen deer, seven Mexican lion,
593 ducks, twelve bandits, and 27
quarts of “Three Star.”
The “Doings of E Company.
All the old men are rejoicing over
the fact that their old top-kick of last
year is with them now as 1st Lieu
tenant. T. B. stands ace high with E
Company and the other companies
had better look out for the flag for
they are sure after it.
* * *
“Hoot-Hoot” Hallmark says that he
dreamed that he was moving in his
sleep the other night and woke up out
in the middle of the drill field. We
think that this calls for an explana
tion.
* * *
“Dang-Berry,” “Wang Wootus,”
“Craps,” “Peaberry,” “Dang Pootus,”
“Bootlegger,” “Jimmie,” “Moonshin
er,” “White Lightning,” “Pootus” De
berry says that he will publish his
new book “The Latest and Most Im
proved Methods of Making and Sell
ing Moonshine,” during the Christmas
holidays.
* * *
“Jew” Miller, the well known profi
teer of Bizzell, states that he expects
to have the rubber market cornered
within the next six weeks.
* * *
“Barnyard” Henderson has sub
mitted a petition to the dietician at
the Mess Hall requesting that sausage
be served at least twice a day.
* * *
The Chronic Bull Pen,, 151 Bizzell,
will open at 6:30 p. m. in the future
instead of 6:15 as has been the cus
tom lately. This delay is due to the
fact that the meal hounds say they
must have more time at the Mess
Hall.
* * *
The Married Men’s Club met and
elected their officers for the year of
1921 last Thursday night. Hotcake
Brown was unanimously elected pres
ident, Maggie McGee was elected
vice-president and “Corporal Grover”
was elected secretary-treasurer. The
famous “Sergeant Charlie” Crawford
will address the club tomorrow night
on “How To Make Your Wife Love
You!” An admission will be charged
THE BATTALION
m
to defray this noted lecturer’s ex
penses.
* ❖ *
“Iron Willie,” the great man of E
Company will give an exhibition of
the strength of iron as compared to
concrete. “Concrete” Mims will de
fend the interests of the concrete peo
ple.
* * *
Last Saturday evening the entire
company were the guests of Soph
Dickson for a wonderful roof party
given at the new Hotel Bizzell Roof
Garden. The guests met at young
Dickson’s room at about ten thirty
and escorted him to the roof garden
from there. All arrived at the place
of merriment in a great spirit of mind
and ready for the fun. The first thing
on the program was a game of hide
and seek in which Dickson took the
hard role and hid from the entire
assembly and locked himself out on
the garden—through some mysterious
manner. The desert was rock soup
served in a most unique manner. The
guests gathered on the west side of
the hotel and were served the soup
from the roof by their genial host.
Everyone proclaimed the evening
great and bid their host a cold night
and cleared out just as the first notes
of Taps sounded. Young Dickson re
mained on the roof and ate the rest
of the soup until he was called away
by his captain who found the lost
key to the garden—namely, a 20 foot
rope well tied. Many thanks to you
young Dickson, we hope that you will
repeat the treat real often.
Company F Notes.
Before this issue of The Battalion
comes from the press, the first inter
battalion football game will have been
played and won. It is between the
Cavalry and the 3rd Battalion. We
claim that Companies E and F have
a better team than the Cavalry and
predict that we will come off the field
with the big end of the score. Any
way, we will break the ice and the
dopesters can begin their task of pick
ing the winning team.
* * *
When we canvassed the Company in
an effort to find someone who had
some ideas that could be developed
into news items for The Battalion,
Fred Wilson said, “Tell them that I
am going home Saturday.” Every-
bady else yelled, “Ditto!”
❖ * *
Davis tells us that the only two
jokes in the company are the two who
room with him, Tippett and Crane.
We hate to print this, but it is some
thing that ought not to be kepfe-fro
the public. The following letter was
sent to the Midnight Mail on the
night of Wednesday, the 15th: “Dear
Dad: Due to the fact that Prexy
or someone changed his mind, holi
days begin on Saturday instead of on
Wednesday. I will be home on Sun
day morning instead of on the mor
ning of Thursday the 23rd; so you
had better lay in that extra supply
of groceries on Saturday instead of
waiting until Wednesday. Your lov
ing son,
Signed: Fish Fats Maufrais,
Company Meal Hound.
* * *
“King” Harry Wheeldon called his
‘Monarchy” together the other night
and gave them final instructions as to
what to do with themselves during
the holidays. He told them that he
was going back to his home in Big
Springs and have a general good time
and that he expected everyone to do
the same and return on the 3rd of
January with every intention of
sweeping everything before them.
* * *
It is rumored that J. Hadley Edgar
failed to receive a letter from his girl
this week. We extend our sympathy
to him, not that we know how it
feels to be in this fix, but because
we might be in such a fix someday and
need sympathy ourselves.
Company C Notes.
“The Trophy Flag.”
The flag, its silken folds, does fling,
Flag of the state we love so well;
No room is there for the ne’er do well,
No room for the one who will not sing
Of Company “C”,
Pride of the Campus, again to be.
Even “fish” are proud of the rec
ord made,
Proud of the men who did so fine,
Proud of the long unbroken line
That won the last hard dress parade.
and you shall see.
We’ll win again, will Company “C”.
We had the best drilled men of all,
And for their work we won the flag;
In work or play we never lag,
Our record and our glory have no pall.
We’ll always be
The same old honor Company “C”.
Other companies drilled very well;
They did their best but that was all,
They played the game, we “held the
ball.”
Such was their luck, but, “Oh, Hell!”
Old Company “C”
Can’t be beaten by any company.
That time is gone, this time is here,
We’ll fight for the flag again.
We’ll fight for the flag and win,
Not only now but again each year.
That flag shall be
The permanent property of Company
—“Fish Queer.”
* * *
You sliould oughta seen ’em pulling
Ogle’s chin whiskers out with a pair of
pliers down in the C.E. Lab the other
day.
WRESTLING MATCH
Bill Schober, America’s World Cham
pion, Failed to Throw Leon Smith,
Champion of A. and M. College
Thursday night in a wrestling
match between Billy Schober, Amer
ica’s World Middle Weight Champion,
and Leon Smith, champion of A. and
M. College, at the Woodman Hall,
Schober failed to throw Smith twice
in thirty minutes, or to be exact, he
failed to throw him once in thirty
minutes.
Smith is one of our home boys, be
ing a mail clerk on the Santa Fe rail
road, and his many friends here did
not know he was a good wrestler as
he proved himself to be last night.
They had only seen him in one match
before and that was with Oscar Bur
nett of Henderson, in which there
wasn’t a fall in twenty-five minutes.
Bill Schober is a fine looking man,
being a giant in strength and one of
the best built men that we have ever
seen. He shows that he has taken
good care of himself and has trained
himself for the profession he is fol
lowing. In his manner of wrestling,
being fair in every stage of the game,
he won the good will of every person
fin attendance last night.
Mr. Schober came from El Paso to
Wichita Falls and from that city to
Longview and caught cold on the
long trip and said that he was not
feeling well as he had a very severe
headache, but would try to work it off-
during the evening’s entertainment.
He said that Smith was a much bet
ter man than he had expected to meet
here, but that he had run up against
many snags in the wrestling game
and Smith was one of them. He
thanked the crowd for coming out to
witness the performance and said that
he had done his part to entertain
them.
Before the main bout several very
clever and interesting preliminary
matches were engaged in between the
boys here. One boxing match was
staged between two lads of about ten
summers. These little fellows showed
■thoy-iyhad -the “makings” of box
ers in their systems, as they gave and
took blows freely.
The evening’s entertainment proved
to be very interesting for all who at
tended and no doubt a much larger
crowd will witness the next bout that
is held here.
Mr. Schober left today for his
home in Chicago, but said that he
hoped to visit our city again in the
future and have another match here.
—Longview Clarion.
—that" * ■—
THE KISS
“But”—
“No.”
“Just”—
“No.”
“Once”—
“No.”
“Pleease”—
“No ”
sj: :5c :J: :ic :J: :Jc
“Henry,’ why don’t you shave?’
' —Exchange.
“A Tuscalo girl is suing her em
ployer for $5,000 damages on ac
count of a most peculiar accident
which occurred in the home where she
is employed as a domestic. She was
taking her bath by the kitchen range
and she stepped out on the washpan
slipped on a cake of soap on the floor,
and sat down on the stove.
WACO NEWS!
The uniting in marriage of Mr. E.
B. Fason and Miss Dorothy Deaton
came as a surprise to everyone but we
wonder why it turned out to be a joke
after they had all of us believing it
was true.
A few doses 666 break a cold.
A COLLEGE SONG.
In the Christmas issue of The Bat
talion a suggestion was made that
A. and M. have a mascot and “Wild
cat” was appropriately mentioned. The
need of this College for an Alma
Mater song was mentioned. It is
high time that we bestirred ourselves
in this opportunity. The following
is submitted as a battle song for A.
and M. The tune is march time.
Reynaud can play it for you. How
about this ?
Aggies forward march to victory,
Aggies lead the way,
Aggies forward march to victory.
This is the WILDCAT’S day, RAY!
(Yell the word Ray).
Aggies forward march to victory,
Fight with brain and brawn,
We’ll leave old T. U. lying in the dust,
As we go marching on.
Slovacek-Novosad Music Co.
Bryan, Texas
Dealers in
CONN AND MARTIN BAND INSTRUMENTS
Selmer & Buffet Reed Instruments; Ludwig Drums; Degan
Bells and Xylophones; Lyon & Healy String
Instruments
PIANOS, TALKING MACHINES, DOLLS, RECORDS AND
MUSIC
❖
»
; yllre jSLsnlik
!
• §
HIGH GRADE PHOTOGRAPHS.
GUARANTEED
ALL WORK
LARGE PHOTOGRAPHS OUR SPECIALTY
Postoffice Block. Bryan, Texas
The College Community
STORE
â–  r
«i*
* *
IS NOW OPEN
GIVE US YOUR ORDERS FOR
GROCERIES
G. O. TURNER, Manager
• •
• •
FEEL BLUE?
Does everydody “misunderstand”
you ? All the joy gone out of life ?
Cheer up! It’s just your system that’s
“out of kilter”. A few Chiropractic
Adjustments will put you on your
feet. Make a new person of you. See
DR. A. R. COHN
Today
Rooms 32 and 33, Astin Blbg.
Phone 477.
IG. S. PARKER
LUMBER
@
Up-to-Date Work Done at
the
CAMPUS
SHOE SHOP
Our prices are right and we
make old shoes look like
new.
H0LICK & SON
PHONE 41
•• BRYAN,
.TEXAS
•i*
if
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Â¥
*•
• •
4.
• •
«•
• •
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• i*
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â–  â– 
■S’
•f*
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Eight chairs. One of the 2^
best equipped shops in Tex- O
as. All kinds of 1!
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Come to See Us ••
J. F. LAVINDER, Prop. :!
«$•
*1* *2* "l* -I* ^ *1** *1* »X < *1* *£• ^ 1
CAMPUS
BARBER SHOP
TONICS
the FIRSTNATIONAL
BANK OF BRYAN
(Since 1873)
Accounts Solicited Upon
most liberal terms
the
Capital and Surplus $250,000.00
Undivided Profits . . $50,000.00
'>!'• 'I**;-' ^ ^ 4’ 4* 'I' 1
EXCHANGE BARBER SHOP •&
Five First Class
Barbers J*
T. A. ADAMS, Proprietor
M.H. JAMES
THE
LEADING DRUGGIST
Ours is the
REXALL STORE
Everything in Drugs and
Toilet Articles
t DR. W. H. LAWRENCE ?
t DENTIST J
t Res. Phone 558, Office Phone 521 •§»
❖ 4th Floor City Natl. Bank Bldg, t
4* Bryan, Texas *
•X*•t* »X a *2* *1° "I 8 *3>* *1* *I a •X* *1*
CALL AND SEE
The College Tailor
Next to Boyett’s Store
HIGH GRADE TAILORING
and Repairing
Boys Are Invited to Our Place