4
THE BATTALION
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CLEANING, PRESSING
ALTERATIONS
Shop located just below College Studio
Cadets and Campus residents invited to call
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MUSINGS OF A BACHELOR.
Between two women of equal
beauty, always pick the one who
closes her eyes when she kisses you.
She’s not so likely to think you want
to marry her.
The proof that men do not under
stand women is that they love them.
The proof that women do understand
men is that they marry them.
The first kiss is always stolen by
the man. And the last kiss is always
begged by the woman.
The length of a woman’s kiss near
ly always depends upon the breadth
of her imagination.
To remain a woman’s ideal a man
must die a bachelor.
A woman’s idea of Hades—“No
body loves me and my clothes don’t
fit.”
If there were only three women
left in the world, two of them would
immediately convene a court-martial
to try the other one.
Men frequently marry to keep
other men from getting the woman
they desire. They are not always suc
cessful.
The final definition of love is
something that gives pain without
any hurt.
Self-respect means a comfortable
sense that you have not been found
out.
When a man commits a sin, he
says: “How shall I conceal this?”
When a woman commits a sin, she
says: “How can I let my friends
know of this without bragging.
The theory that really to know
two women one must introduce them
is ridiculous. It often results in a
divorce.
A woman’s head is not always
turned by flattery; sometimes its
peroxide.
When a woman starts an idle ru
mor, it at once ceases to be idle.
One beauty of being single is that
its a dreadfully thrilling experience
until one’s wife finds it out.
It must be dreadful to meet at
dinner the man who ran away with
one’s wife. It places one under such
an obligation.
A FISH WRITES HOME.
Dear Dad—
I arrived here today at three-
thirty, but it seems like I have ar
rived three or four times because
everybody wiantpi tjheir trunk car
ried up to the houses where we stay.
This place looks like a big city divi
ded by twenty. All the houses have
electric light and running water, but
believe me I sure miss that old well
back in Mineola.
I never saw so many boys (I mean
fellows, ’cause I’m a college student
now) in all my life. Almost as many
as was at the big barbecue at Pump
kin Center last fall.
Jim Spavin wants me to get in the
Infantry but they say they ride in
the cavalry. I always did like to ride
old Maude out after the cows so I
think it’s cavalry for me. I saw the
captain of the Troop yesterday. He
had on big boots and spurs—looked
just like the picture of Napoleon in
that “Fiver-tune Alamac” at home.
There sure are a lot of fellows
here named Fish. One fellow mistook
me for a boy of that name, but I
told him different but he seemed
positive. Won’t he feel funny when
he finds out he’s wrong?
Guess I’ll be closing now. Us col
lege men are sure busy.
Your Son
Abner.
P. S. Don’t forget to give that old
bald-faced cow of mine pine and
turpentine twice a day.
TO OLD AND NEW BOYS:—
I am glad to see you back and glad to see so
many good looking Fish. The Campus Barber
Shop wants to extend greetings to all. We appre
ciate your trade and assure you the best work that
can be done. I also handle all kinds of Tonic,
Razor Strops and Soap, Face Lotion, Hair Brushes,
Combs.
Yours for good work,
3J* M+ HcUunJun*