14
THE BATTALION
MR. SOLOMON SAYS
Bring forth the confessions of the
Seven Hundredth Wife.
My daughter, I say unto the con
sider not that time wasted which a
Sophomore spendeth in Love Dream.
For a spring romance is the Spring
Tonic of the Soul.
Then be merciful when thou ob-
serveth a Sophomore with the Spring
Love fever, for his feet stumble and
his eyes see not and his ways are
strange and wonderful.
He walketh as one in a trance and
stareth out of the class-room seeing
visions.
He addresseth his Profs, as Dear
est and knoweth it not. He granteth
his Fish favors. He signeth the
business letter “Yours Devotedly.”
He calleth the First Sergeant “Dear
Heart.”
He haunteth Nitch’s and lingereth
before shop windows.
He bringeth home much fine rai
ment and adorneth himself in fear
ful and wonderful combinations.
Seven stocks doeth he try each eve
ning before he is satisfied. Seven
times doeth he shine his shoes; yet
is not content.
He studyeth his profile in the mir
ror and wondereth how long his hair
will last. He shaveth his chin until
it is sore, but his upper lip, he
groometh CAREFULLY.
His egotism falleth from him as
a veil. He ceaseth to believe him
self “Irresistable,” and beginneth to
wonder if he is passable.
He brusheth up on his poets. He
putteth aside his pipe, and buyeth a
fancy cigarette-holder. He resisteth
the onion salad of Sbisa, and cannot
be persuaded.
He forgetteth to eat his luncheon,
and his breakfast goeth untasted.
Yet at dinner he hath no appetite.
He donneth odd shoes and is cov
ered with shame before his class
mates. He entereth the Bryan
Dinkey and rideth- six blocks beyond
his destination before he awaketh
from his coma.
He deserteth his friends and Casey
at the “Y” knoweth him no more.
The flirtatious flapper smi.leth upon
him in vain. He gazeth thru her
seeing only the damsel of his dreams.
All these things, in which he once
delighted, have become as satisfying
as cold hisses and Sbisa's hash.
He cannot wait until the appoint
ed hour to see his Beloved, but is
arrayed and pacing the floor at half
past six. When he departeth from
her he hasteneth straightway to the
telephone to say “Good-night” once
more.
Yet, when the summer cometh and
he starteth home, he then cans’t
safely smile at his folly for he hath
forgotten the object of his affec
tions.
And he will laugh with thee, right-
merrily, saying, “Verily, verily, I
was an ass yes, an unmitigated
Simp.”
And I say unto thee “Yea, Ver
ily.”
For not man, NOT EVEN A
SOPHOMORE, is wise until he hath
made himsedf a fool over a woman
and not a man is sane until he hath
passed thru Love’s Delirium.
No Sophomore findeth his own
soul until he hath lost his heart and
his head, at least ONCE.
’23
LOOKING BACKWARD
As we look back over the year, we
are surprised to note the great num
ber of personages and events which
are novelties not only to the Fresh
men, but to the oldest inhabitants ox
the College as well.
As a Freshman, we feel a certain
amount of pride in a realization of
the fact that along with us came
other forces and events to A. and M.
which are destined to exert a pro
found influence upon her future.
The Freshmen make the school,
and so with pardonable pride we
take up ourselves first. On the 17th
of September came to A. and M. a
class of Freshmen 500 strong,
which, acording to the upper class-
men was like unto no other motley
gathering ever witnessed by the eyes
of man. Like Caesar we came, we
saw, and—er—we’ll put off the con
quering until next year at which
time, among other things a toast
master will turn up missing. We
came, some of us fresh from our
mother’s arms, while others not
quite so fresh, were veterans of the
great war.
We had not been here long, before
we learned of something new, which
had made its appearance on the cam
pus. This was a position filled by
Ike Ashburn as Civilian Comman
dant. The first time I saw Ike, 1
concluded that he had gotten his job
on his ability to deal out corporal
punishment when needed. It was a
perplexing problem to me as to
whether we were supposed to salute
this commandant. One day, how
ever, I was going along, feeling un
necessary and thinking about home
’n everything, when a hand fell on
my shoulder and there was Ike ask
ing me how everything was-—well, I
had thirty cents and Ike could have
had it all, and that’s the way we feel
today.
The days rolled by, and before we
realized it our self appointed educa
tors, the Sophs, were bidding us an
affectionate farewell—love taps—
and we were at home with the ‘only
girl” looking up in rapt admiration
at our manly figures clothed in
Profiteer Cheatum’s uniforms. If
she could only seen that same man
ly figure bent over double while a.
rude Soph applied some of the afore
said “love taps.”
A Real test of True Love
The last night came and how
sweet she was at parting. I can’t
see why the h girls want to
ruin a guy’s clothes with that pow
der. I’ve brushed all the fuzz off
my coat trying to get it off.
Time wore on and one morning
The Bulletin gave us a shock by com
menting on the extreme unselfish
ness of the cadets in volunteering to
give up their beds to the visiting-
farmers and bankers.
It’s funny how that morning ad
vertisement sheet, arrives at con
clusions, but who were going to be
the unlucky devils? The visitox-s
came and were escorted to our rooms
where they spent most of their spare
time in an appreciative study of the
works of art, a la Mack Sennett,
which adorn the walls. I prayed
that our unfortunate bed springs
would acquire strength to withstand
the onslaughts of some of these
“Herculean diamonds in the rough.”
All joking to one side, however, this
Banker-Farmer is an epoch in the
advancement of not only A. and M.,
but our State of Texas as well, and
we were indeed glad to give up our
beds and walk for such a cause.
The school year is drawing to a
close and in conclusion we want to
thank the Sophs for their untiring
efforts in our behalf, and the Juniors
for the model example, which they
have set and to the Seniors it’s good
bye and the best wishes of every
Fish in the Class of ’23.
AS IT MIGHT BE SUNG.
(I Gave Her That).
Say, boy, I want to ask you something
Did you see my drag ?
She’s a girl you’d like to run from,
Such an awful hag,
You may think you draw some bad
ones,
Think you never miss,
But before you tell me about ’em,
Let me ask you this.
I was dragging that!
And did you
Hear that awful line she slung, say,
I was dragging that.
I guess I surely win the pun-
Cture-proof silk hati
She was sure an awful fright,
But she‘s gone for good tonight.
And no more blind drags, ain’t you
right!
You may lay to that!!
Page “Hoots” Williams.
Did you see that awful face ? Say,
I was dragging that!
And that elephantine grace ? Say,
I was dragging that!
You ought to see her prance
When you get her out and danced!
You’ll allow, she’s a cow! and
WM. B. CLINE, M. D.
Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat
Specialist
4th Floor City National Bank
Building, Bryan, Texas
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