8
THE BATTALION
SONGS OF THE GRIPE
The Gripe
Condemn ye the Gripe? Where
fore? He is but expressing the de
sire of his soul. Wot ye but that
within him wells a lofty spirit that
but seeks pleasure and contentment
in realms beyond your conception,
and finding it not, bursts forth in ir-
redescent beauty that needs must
find expression in intelligible sounds
—and ye call it “griping!” Think ye
that Epicuus would be silent with
“hot-dogs” hurtling down his tho
rax? Or would dumb be that spirit
that inspired whoever it was that
said, “Give me liberty, or give me
death,” when confined to the campus
till the end of school? Where is
fostered that freedom of will that
has made men shed their blood
against the tyrants’ oppression? In
your “gripe!” Would ye lapse into
somnambulistic endurance of the im
perfections of this world, accepting
them as fixed as the laws of gravita
tion, and the rules of the professor
and voicing your acceptance by si
lence? Where is the birth place of
all progress, but in discontent? What
would Russia be today had it not the
“gripes” taken charge — certainly
not as now, the pot of gold at the
end of the rainbow, whose colors are
even now beginning to dance intic-
ingly before the eyes of these C. E.s
and Ch. E.s, luring them on to that
far off day of graduation and shep-
skins. And yet, condemn ye the
gripe? He is but expressing the de
sires of his soul.
’22
GOLD-BRICKER
Man is a gold-bricker by nature.
Since Eve first conceived the idea of
sewing the fig-leaves together into a
garment so that she wouldn’t have to
go to the trouble of pinning them
anew each morning, man’s best
brains and talent have been turned
to the saving of labor by human ex
ertion. And understand that “man”
includes “woman”. Eve’s fig-leaf
dress was the original gold-bricking
job though radical suffragettes, as
Mrs. Parkhurst and Miss Pryor, in
sist that only the mind of a man
could have devised such an ineffec
tive covering. By which contention,
we assume that the dressmakers of
Paris are all men.
Those of you who have passed
Prof. Brackett’s course in Plain
Sailing under Varying Wind Veloc
ities know that Huxley makes nature
a gold-bric}ter. Instead of beginning
anew on an animal, in which man is
included, nature took the antiquated
stock then on hand, dislocated a few
noses and ears, cut off several tails
here and there, inserted an articulat
ing instrument, enlarged skull, cre
ating thereby the first known case of
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a partial vacuum—and, lo, before us
stands that most glorious of all an
imals—MAN. Or, if you condemn
Huxley, go read in the Bible where
a rib was swiped, accessories and
miscellaneous additions stuck on—
*nd up rose, in all the majestic
glory of her creation, the first wo
man. Why wasn’t mankind created
from nothing unless someone wanted
to gold-brick and patch up som sort
of combination?
Bolsheviks and Republicans declare
there is no such a thing as a “divine
right” that kings were commonly
supposed to possess before we got
actual photographs of Bill chopping
wood in Holland. But Bill and all
those birds that have roosted in royal
nests, have more to their case than
you think. “Divine Right” is a right
from the Creator of the Universe.
A. H. tells us that herewity traits run
true. The creator of the universe
gold-bricked on Eve and if Bill’s
“Divine Right” wasn’t a gold-brick
ing job and hence of “divine” origin
—then we lay no claim to being able
to prove a proposition.
And George Washington gold-
bricked on that cherry tree proposi
tion. Its a whole of a lot easier to
state a fact than to think out a lie.
We’ll match you a quarter to see if
the first stone of the Pyramids
wasn’t a gold-brick. The leaning
tower of Pisa wouldn’t be famous
if someone had not gold bricked
and made one side of the foundation
weaker than the other. Why even
God had to gold-brick a little when
He created the world—so He made
Georgia and College Station. And
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still they tell us not to gold-brick!
Brother, that’s what we are by
heredity and environment. The
unwritten law says to the Sophomore
“Take unto thyself this day this
Fish, curb him, train him, spare not
thy bayonet, that he may serve thee
and take from thy hands the burdens
that thou hast carried these many
months.” The very essence and fun
damental foundation of the ancient
art!
Wherefore should it be expected
of our weak persons to break loose
from usch shackles! Gold-biickeis
we were born, gold-brickers let us
die.
Prof. Gofer: “All right Mr. Kerr,
sit down. That’s a 10 recitation.
You get a 5 today.”
“Sir!”
“Yes, a 5!”
“But, sir, you said it was a 10
recitation.’
“So it was. But I saw you laugh
ing at me pushing a baby cariage
last Sunday. SIT DOWN!”
’22
She: “What beautiful flowers!
Why, isn’t there still a little dew on
them?”
He (blushing furiously) : “Yes,
but I’ll pay it before long.”
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Ability — Inclination
Are Necessary For
Time
Satisfactory Service
WE HAVE ALL THREE AND THEY ARE
YOURS FOR THE ASKING.
Park, the Jeweler
Post Office Block, Bryan
WE REPAIR AND ADJUST FOUNTAIN PENS
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We
toThank
You All
—for your past patron
age and want you to
know that it is greatly
appreciated.
Tell us your wants,
and if possible we will
fill them.
Cigars
Cigarettes
Candy and
Cakes
—all fresh. They don’t
stay here long enough to
get old.
A lot of other things
to eat. Gall and see.
Boyett’s
Store..
GUY F.BOYETT
Proprietor
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