10
THE BATTALION
(FACSIMILE)
The Daily Bulletin
Vol. X. _ College Station, Texas, Any Day. Number XX
WHY NOT?
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❖ OFFICIAL NOTICES *
4* ❖
ABSENT STUDENTS
(Artoflficial Novice from the office of slador
Ashburn, Commandant.)
The followed students who were
reported absent on the date specified
below come under the Pure Food Act
of 1906:
March 23, 1920. (Night of Junior
Banquet).
(a) A. Fish Class.
(b) Ditto.
Hindquarters A. and M. College of
Texas Units of Long Division of
United States Reserved Officers’
Trained Corps, College Station,
Texas:
ORDER NO. .000521
1. For coming out in uniform No.
6 and failing to sew it up. Cadet
Clyde Edwards is hereby promoted
to the Civilian Company and sent to
Charlie Nitch. As soon as Cadet
Edwards closes up his business he
becomes a non-military student.
By Order of Capt. Watkins.
Benjamin “Saxton” Garrity, Asst.
Truck Driver, S. O. L., Adjitate.
TWENTY-FIVE DEMERITS
(Artoflficial Novice from the office of Isador
Ashburn, First Commandant.)
1. For being in Bryan without
civilian clothes and wearing a permit
Cadet Aubry Legg was seen and is
hereby abscessed the sum of twenty-
five (25) demerits and confined to
the limits of the campus until Rev
eille, April 29, 1920.
2. Capt. Muller desires to see the
above mentioned Legg at once.
GENERAL ORDER 8 A. P.
(Artofficial Novice from the office of Issy
Ashburn, First Commandant).
1. For wantonly endangering his
own life and leaving the Government
open to a spring suit by jumping off
the high curb along the Military
Walk, Cadet “Misery” Sherrill is dec
orated with thirty (30) demerits and
allowed the exclusive pleasures of
the Campus until further orders.
2. Cadet Sherrill is permitted to
confer with the sergeants at the flag
pole each hour of the day between
reveille and taps.
By Order of Cap’an Blouse.
LAST LYCEUM NUMBER
The famous and only original
Honolulu Jazz Band from Reagan,
booked by the Y. M. C.. A. Friday
evening, were unable to perform as
their wagon broke down just twenty
three miles from Reagan.
* * *
The “Y” never has disappointed
the music lovers of the Campus as
yet so they obatined a cast, com
posed of native timber, to furnish
entertainment for the evening.
* * *
Having obtained the consent of
the American Federation of Labor,
the “Y” succeeded in obtaining the
services of one of the best conductors
on the road. He was paid time and
a half for overtime.
af: *
Director Miller was unfortunate
enough to lose his hat the other eve
ning so a small over-head expense
was charged. In appreciation Mr.
Miller sang as only he can that
melodious and ticklish sextett,
“Turkey in the Straw.” This did
not necessarily mean that he would
purchase a straw lid.
* * *
“Key-Note” Milton, whose . hair
rivals Paderewski’s, then sang that
appealing melody: “After I’m
Gone.” The audience was very
anxious for pianist Miller to accom
pany him.
* * *
William Jennings McAdams, the
famous class-room orator, put a few
new wrinkles in the field of Engi
neering when he took for his text
that inquiring subject: “Is the bub
ble vial when not exactly on the
level?”
* * *
A song of rustic and quaint effect
was then presented by Frederick
Dinan, who has been termed “the
John McCormick of America, ’’and
headed: “That Tumbledown Shack,
Austin Hall.” This was so realistic
that Fred dodged.
* * *
The famous sex drama “The Swan
Dive” was vividly portrayed by mem
bers of the Junior Class.
* * *
“Pagliacci” Douglas then gave an
exhibition of increased virtuosity and
sang with the left hand only. His
notes did not get any higher than low
“C” and many failed—-to hear him.
Pagliacci sang II Barbiere di Sivig-
lia. Many wanted to contribute in
sending Pagliacci to Seville.
* * *
The next portrayal was an anaes
thetic dance written by Ruth St.
Denist and Atten-Shawn and cog
nomened “The Ramrod Thrust.”
Slim Farrell played in the title role
and made a good ramrod. Those for
tunate enough to bring opera glasses
said so, while those of the unaided
eye said that it was unsightly.
* * *
“Tammany” Muller, the prepared
ness propaganda, put a little punch
into the program by reciting “Even
Though the Ninety and Nine Are in
the Fold, Go Forth in Search of An
other Ram.” “Tam” received an
applause and several eggs but this
did not make him “eggotistic.”
* * *
Dean Puryear next gave a synop
sis of the strides that A. and M. has
made in the past few decades and
fortunately every occupant of a
front row seat heard him. This
secret address was followed by the
entire audience rising and singing
“Till We Eat Again.” This made all
the cadets homesick.
* * *
“Pontius” Ramsey, the Campus
Guard, brought the program to a
close when his voice lingered upon
the lines the Commandant had pre
pared for him: “I’m Coming Home.”
FOR SALE — One (1) midnight
oil lamp, good as new and never
Used; two (2) non-skid slide rules;
regulation military bathing suit,
Scudder type and good to Bask-in;
and a regulation McPheeters hair
curler. Room 302, Bizzell.
TENNIS FINALS ARE TO BE
PLAYED THIS AFTERNOON
The out come of the games this af
ternoon, provided it doesn.’t snow,
will decide the tennis champions
who will go to court with the unde
feated champions of C. I. A.
Interest is at high pitch as the C.
I. A. teams, both in singles and
doubles, have not lost a love set this
season. This is all the more inter
esting because the tennis rules do
not penalize for fowling—such a
common occurance.
The waiters from the Mess Hall
were kind enough to give the court
behind the Shirley Annex a few
rolls and it is now in first class con
dition. Close followers of the game
and boarders at the Shirley say that
it is the only place in the vicinity
where “ready” is followed by a
“serve.”
The aspirants are under the ten
nis tutelage of Prof. Thomas who is
rapidly weeding out the inetficients.
Prof. Thomas is the man for this
instruction because it is hard to tell
whether we will put “English” on
his “cuts” or “cuts” on his “Eng
lish.”
A large crowd is expected this af
ternoon to C. W. Thomas and Bailiff
run in Merchant and Nointestine.
The closest player of the above
mentioned quarter is Merchant. In
fact Merchant beat Nabours out of
five straight games yesterday. This
made Nabours mad so he made his
own racquet. Merchant stated that
he could beat all the Nabours as
long as he didn’t have to play a “net
game”.
The winners of the above contest
will play the most determined play
ers of the tournament, Gaines and
Cahn.
In the meanwhile the Y. M. C. A.
courts will be the scene of similar
action.
North and West are scheduled to
play with Chambers and Styles. The
victors will then play Close and Wal-
trip.
This is a summary of *the games
for this afternoon. All members
of the Cadet Corps, Civilian Students
and Faculty are exorted to come out
and watch the games and the wire
fence. The Federal Students are
also invited as there will be no tax
in the blankets.
FOR SALE — This being my last
year at A. and M., I have some
school furniture I must dispose of
at a sacrifice. Two hand painted
pencils with automatic cut-offs; one
bare rug, Sgt. Hyland type; one rol
ler top desk on its last leg; one ink
stand guaranteed to do so; and one
rapid dresser. I. Senior, Go 2 Par
lor Bed Room and Bath.
LOST — One good Non-Drill Reg
ulations by Capt. Dougherty with
abbreviated suggestions for snoring
—Third Stoop Austin Hall.
LOST — A loose (fig) leaf note
book; finder please leave with Adam,
Casual Company.
Much has been said of late con
cerning the many branches of our
college tree.
It has been intimated that an avia
tion corps is to be organized and
many are up in the air about it.
Possible a tank corps may be listed
among the out-door sports. Ike Ash
burn will personally supervise this
particular branch as he is a model
man.
So far, nothing has been said as
regards the cleanest branch of the
service: “The Hospital Corps.” It
is only fitting and proper that this
space be cheerfully donated to such
a hospitable organization. At the
present time there is a veritable
horde of physically debilitated ca
dets who seek out the hospital
every drill day.
Does not this proof warrant its
popularity? Do not cadets journey
by platoons and battalions every
other day to E-Captain Ehlinger
and appeal to him as proficiently as
if this was a law school?
This is the sweet haven of refuge
for the cadet who realizes that his
military prowess does not have its
line of action in the tramp-tramp-
tramp of the InfantrV: in^the lickot.y-
split of the dashing Cavalry; in the
boom-boom of the light artillery; or
in the tickety-tick of the Signal
Corps. This organization will be di
rected by Dr. Ehlinger as he has had
worlds of experience in giving di
rections. No doubt it will be unani
mously decided to bestow the cap
taincy upon “Red” Thompson as in
all probability he will be at the hos
pital when the commissions are
awarded.
AT A. AND M.—THE YEAR 2323
(Extracts From a Bulletin)
Telepathic lecture by Rev. I. M.
Nowaday of the Universal Church
from one of his famous research
works: “Why Compulsory Chapel
Was Necessary at A. and M. in the
Year of 1920 A. D.”
The A. and M. football team left
yesterday for a series of games with
the undefeated champions of Mars.
Much interest is manifested through
out the solar system upon the out
come of the series as the Inter-plan
etary championship is at stake. The
cadet corps attended as the Govern
ment Ether Luxury tax had been re
pealed.
Telepathic lecture on “The Five
Ancient Superstitions”—Gravitation,
Evolution, Euclidean Gometry, Com
pulsory Military Training and the
laughable dogma of the three Di
mensions.
Movies will be given by the Y. M.
C. A. in their new aerial airdome of
chryselephantine construction. Pic
tures will be shown how the students
in pre-historic times made use of pen
and tongue to express their emotions
and pass their examinations.
Bryan girls all like each other.