THE BATTALION
3
PHYSICS
(With Apologies to Mark Anthony).
Friends, classmates, and fellow-suf-
fers:
Lend me your ears.
I come to condemn Physics,
Not to praise it.
The evil that it does lives after it;
Its good cannot be perceived.
I wish it were the opposite.
McPheeters, Silvey, Douglas, have
told you
Physics is very useful;
If it is so, it is impossible to dis
cern it.
And I think you all agree with me.
Here, under leave of Dr. Douglas
and the rest,
For Dr. Douglas is an honorable
Prof—
So are they all, honorable Profs—
Come I to condemn Physics before
you.
It is my enemy, treacherous and un
just to me;
Yet Dr. Douglas says it is useful—
And Dr. Douglas is an honorable
Prof.
It has brought much worry to A. and
M. students.
And caused them to burn lights after
Taps.
Does this in Physics seem useful?
When that sufferers have cried,
Physics hath laughed;
Usefulness should be made of more
sympathetic stuff.
Yet Dr. Douglas says that Physics is
most helpful.
Although it is centuries old.
You all do know that in their
courses,
Many students have thrice attempt
ed a passing grade.
Which it hath thrice refused them.
Yet Dr. Douglas says it’s very easy.
-I—f^peak not to dispute Dr. Douglas’
word,
But here I am to speak what I do
know.
You all do hate, and know, not with
out cause—
What then is there to make you de
fend it?
Oh, Judgment, thou art; fled to
Physics Profs,
And students have lost their reason.
Bear with me;
My heart is full of sorrow for these
sufferers
Who make a study of Physics.
DRIVING FOR A MILLION
Enlarvement of the drive to build
a Temple of Agriculture in Wash
ington has been undertaken by the
farm bodies comprising the National
Board of Farm Organizations. Farm
leaders have outlined a campaign
that will reach into every State of
the Union in an effort to raise more
than a million dollars before Jan
uary 1921.
A special finance committee has
been created to have charge of the
campaign. This committee consists
of R. D. Cooper of New York, presi
dent of the Dairymen’s League and
Gifford Pinchot, president of the
Pennsylvania Rural Progress Asso
ciation, with Charles W. Holman as
secretary.
The Executive Committee of the
headquarters in the temporary home
of the Board at 1731 I Street, N. W.,
Washington, D. C. This building, a
splendid brick structure of four
stories, with an assembly room seat
ing 250, has been bought as the tem
porary home of farm organizations
participating in the drive. Funds
raised are being applied to the pur
chase of this property which will be
used until farmers of the Nation are
ready to build a more commodious
structure.
The Executice Committee of the
National Board of Farm Organiza
tions makes the following statement
in announcing the appointment of
Charles W. Holman as secretary of
the Finance Committee in charge of
the drive.
Mr. Holman is widely known
among farmers. He was a founder’
and the first secretary of the Na
tional Board of Farm Organizations.
He left that position to undertake a
mission for the United States Food
Administration in the Orient dur
ing the war. Since his return to the
United States he has been serving
as editor of the American Coopera
tive Journal, the official organ of the
farmers’ cooperative elevators of the
Middle West and writing for nation
al magazines of a literary and agri
cultural character. He was secre
tary and managed the four National
Conferences on Market and Farm
Credits, held in Chicago, 1913-191'3.
He served the United States Com
mission on Industrial Relations in
charge of land problems and has
made extensive studies in Great
Britain, Asiatic Russia, Japan and
China.
Communications in regard to the
Temple of Agriculture should be ad
dressed to him at 1731 Eye Street,
N. W., Washington, D. C.
QUEEN FRIDAY AND SATURDAY
A Master Bill With Two Big
Features
D. W. Griffith’s production, ‘‘Scar
let Days,” mirrors that peculiar qual
ity of truth which at once becomes
stranger than Fiction. It is a page
from real life, the life so spectacu
larly lived in the gold-rush days in
California in ’49.
Rosy Nell, a dancer and singer
in a mining town hotel known as
“Bagley’s”, is the mother of a young
daughter who has grown to winsome
girlhood under the gentle care of a
guardian aunt and who is attending
an eastern boarding school. Rosy
Nell manages through the kindness
of her aunt to keep from her
daughter all knowledge of her moth
er’s occupation at “Bagley’s.”
See how the beautiful girl finds
her way to her mother and the dar
ing fights. Thrilling stunts that go
to make up the greatest western pic
ture ever screened.
Everybody admires sheer nerve,
even on the part of a desperado like
Alvarez, the central figure.
Alvarez is a chivaldous bandit who
robs the rich and gives to the poor.
He is sought by every sheriff in Cal
ifornia. The arm of the law in Sac
ramento posts a notice offering a big
reward for the capture of Alvarez.
What to his surprise to see a young
Mexican calmly walk up and write at
the bottom of the notice: “I will
add five dollars to this reward for
anyone capturing me alive.—Don
Maria Alvarez.”
The second feature on the bill is
a master comedy “Roaming Bath
Tubs,” a scream from start to finish.
A Sunshine Special with Bathing
beauties galore. Monday and Tues
day “Eve in Exile.” Wednesday and
Thursday, Nazimova in “The Brat.”
Don’t miss that Saturday bill at the
Dixie. Eugene Obrien in “The
Broken Melody” and a Mack Senett
Comedy.
Boys, don’t forget the comedy
Romance at the Lyric—also a com
edy “In Pretty Soft.”
DIXIE Saturday
-4^- -fco « el _I-’ o t x- o TrtiXX.
-I—JoaoJ-fc HVCisnsi
EUGENE O’BRIEN
In a big Extra Select Special Production
“THE BROKEN MELODY”
Also one of those Mile-a-Minute two-reel
MACK SENNETT COMEDIES
Special Jazz Music. Always only 20c.
UEEN
Saturday
The Bill of Thrills, that Thrill you Through!
“SCARRLET DAYS”
Positively the Greatest "Western Stunt Production
ever screened. Fights that are fights.
D. W. GRIFFITH’S
Greatest Feature with Star Cast of Dare-Devils.
11
ROAMING BATH TUBS”
A Sunshine Comedy with Bathing Beauties Galore.
Music by Best Six-piece Orchestra in the land.
ADULTS ONLY 30c. CHILDREN 15c. ^
c c
It’s a Peach — Monday and Tuesday:
EVE IN EXILE”
❖
CALL
COX & WORLEY
FIVE 5-PASSENGER CARS
WHEN YOU WANT
Service CARS
WITH OR WITHOUT DRIVRRS
x
J.
X
X
• «
?
X
X
*?•
x
x
X
X
X
t
Residence 342 PHONES N. Y. Cafe 303
The New York Cafe
ALEXANDER PAPPASPIRON, Proprietor
OYSTERS ALL STYLES, SHORT ORDER MEALS
CHOICE LUNCHES
Come in When You Are in Town, You Are
Always Welcome
l
COLLEGE BOYS
Look for the
MANHATTAN
CAFE
Our prices are second to
none. Service and politeness
to all.
i
❖ *
£ UP-TO-DATE WORK DONE X
t at the :j:
CAMPUS
SHOE SHOP |
%
Prices Always Right 4*
Your Friends X
HOLICK & SON &
NT
-i*XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX^