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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 31, 1917)
PAGE 6 THE BATTALION Wednesday, October 31, 1917 ± A Squalum of Cod % BY KUICK ^ A PROPOSED TRANSFIGURATION OF KYLE FIELD. (Brilliant oration delivered by L. C. Doney). “The South is in dire need of just one thing in order to compete with the North. That need can be sat isfied in one place and by one man. The South has never had an amuse ment resort comparable to Coney Is land. A plan is now on foot to re model Kyle Field into the Coney Is land of Texas, and to put trained monkeys, Egyptian muscle dancers, and “Men-only, ladies-step-across-the street-to-be-entertained” shows in the identical place where of old time the Farmers were want to crush the weakly figures of Varsity football men into the dirt. (Tremendous en thusiasm) . “In order to carry out this,plan, a genius is demanded,—a man who has initiative, imagination and exper ience, one who can handle ladies of Oriental extraction, one who has traveled widely and knows the wiles of the crafty hick and the simple city-slicker. He must be deeply ver sed in the ways and means of satiat ing the omnivorous appetite of the gullible public, and at the same time be able to wrest the seed-of-life, variety Green Kale from their pouch es. The man we have in mind is such a one towering head and should ers above the crowd, literally speak ing. He is the present editor of the Longhorn, which speaks for his ut ter lack of avarice and sweet devo tion to his alma mater. George Mor gan, spell it out George, is the man. (Wild applause). “Morgan is a name beside which the names of Ziegfield,. Cohan and Carl Hagenbeck sink into pale and dessicated insignificance. He will make this drear community into such a wonder-place that even the dogs of war will turn with whines of eager delight to sniif at the gates of the pleasure place on Kyle Field. His past we will forgive, in view of his future service to the school. We long to have him stand before us and give him the opportunity of speaking a few words on the subject of “Kyle Field into Kale Field or from Gloom to Ecstacy.” Allow me, gentlemen, to introduce to you George the Great.” (Frantic yells of rapture from the throng. Three fish faint.) Conserve the Nation’s Resources. By the use of a slide rule and a table of logarithms we have deter mined that the value of the total amount of butter now being served daily at Sbisa’s Emporium of Gusta tory Refreshment would be enough in six months, ten days and three hours to pay the interest on a Liberty Bond for a whole year. Shameful waste! Sublime Indifference, or Virtue Slap ped in the Face. A fine drizzle driven by the North wind against the nearly naked backs of a thousand cadets, huddled in the spacious shelter of the “Jinny” de pot. After a wait, in rolls the train with its majestic freight of football playing flesh. The crowd cheers, eagererly expecting the appearance of the team. The train backs up, shunts a pullman on to a siding, and crashes merrily on its way. The crowd stares rapidly at the coach from which the only sign of life emerging in the profound and subtle harmony of twenty deep chested, leather-larynxed football men snor ing in a range from Galli-Curci to Bertha Krupp. Now and then a rasp of irritation could be heard to indicate how annoying the yells of a mob can be to a man trying to pound his ear. eagerly expecting the appearance Slow comprehension dawned in the agate domes of the cheerful idiots at the depot. Silently they folded their bath robes and stole into the night. THE WHITE AND MAROON. (Tune of Yankee Doodle). When Uncle Sam’s in need of men, He knows where he can find them, He comes right down to A. and M. And all the Seniors “jine” him. When Owls and Bears and Longhorns Think they are all creation, Who is it brings them back to earth? The boys from College Station! Of all the colors on the earth, Next to the Stars and Stripes, boys, The White and Maroon of the A.&M. Is the one that has the fight, boys! Ours is a school for men, There is no place for others, We love our school withall our hearts, We’re like a thousand brothers. Chorus: Hurrah for the White and Maroon, boys Hurrah for the White and Maroon! Hurrah for the school it stands for Hurrah for the White and Maroon! CAMPUS NOTES. Mrs. Boulware of Palestine arriv ed Saturday to visit hpr daughter Mrs. C. B. Campbell until the end of the week. * . * * Mrs. B. Youngblood reports splen did progress throughout Brazos Co., on work for the War Library fund. The collection in Chapel Sunday net ted something over fifty-seven dol lars. The campaign in Bryan, un der the chairmanship of Mrs. P. M. Raysor, will continue throughout the week. Tuesday the regular picture- show program at the Dixie Theatre is to be for the benefit of this fund. On Wednesday afternoon a tea will be given at the Carnegie Library from 3 to 5, under the auspices of the Girls’ Bridge Club. Contribu tions will be made throughout the afternoon to the War Library Fund. The Bryan committee will formulate still further plans for the week’s work at the Tuesday morning meet ing. * * * Mrs. F. C. Bolton entertained the Faculty Bridge club Thursday night with the usual evening of cards. A delicious course of chicken salad, coffee and sandwiches served to con clude the evening. * * * Mrs. J. C. Nagle arrived Sunday afternoon from Austin. She will be with Mrs. D. W. Spence until the completion of repairs on the Nagle house. SPORTISMS. Roberta says that that Tiger “Sweet Papa” certainly had some claws, but that he found out that Tig ers were not the only species that grew them. A few more games such as the Tig er game would be disastrous. With McClintock, Anderson, and William son put on the ineligible list, Collins, Ford, and several others badly bung ed up, the team is in bad shape to meet the strong Tulane bunch Fri day. Baylor had a man watching the Aggies at the Austin game and at the Dallas game. They did not much like what they saw. And Baylor will have about 1000 watching the November 10 game—and not liking what they see. Mahan was badly off color (?) Saturday. He did not gain but about 310 yards in the game, ex clusive of one 50 yard run which was recalled. Altogether, the coaches estimated that he ran 151 miles dur ing the game, and was better at the last than at the first. It was largely his returns of Ives’ long punts in the first quarter that kept the Tigers from scoring. DorTt Worry if You Break Your Glasses BRING US THE PIECES AND WE WILL DUPLICATE YOUR LENS—AT LOWEST POSSIBLE COST. 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