HIS PAPERWEIGHT.
A FAREWELL CHAT.
Travels of a Bottle of Wine ana Its
Ultimate Fate-
A paperweight consisting of a piece
of thick glass with a tokay wine label
fastened on the back and showing
through is a part of the desk furniture
in the library of a man who goes to
Europe nearly every year. “People
iook at the thing,” he said, “and won
der what the wine label is doing there,
and when I see the question coming I
always tell the story.
“Some years ago I went to Raab, in
Hungary, where I called on an old
lady who in Vienna years before had
shown much interest in and befriend
ed a young American student at the
university. The poor student had
grown to be a rich physician, and he
wanted me to call and present his
compliments. When I was about to
leave after a pleasant visit the wo
man handed me a bottle of wine which
had come from her estate and asked
me to take it to our mutual friend. I
carted that bottle all over Europe,
paid duty on it several times and flnal-
-ly landed it safe^ and sound here in the
house. A few days after my return
we invited the doctor for dinner, and
the bottle was brought in with much
ceremony. I made a little presenta
tion speech and then in handing it to
the doctov dropped it on the floor
where you see that stain. That’s the
label under the glass." — New York
Tribune.
HORSE AND DOG.
Contact With Civilization Lessens
Their Cunning and Sagacity.
The dog is no doubt the most intelli
gent of our domestic animals, and I
yield to none in my affection for him.
I can almost eat and sleep with a flue
dog winter and summer. But I try not
to deceive myself about his intelli
gence. It seems to me that if the dog-
had the least spark of wit akin to our
own—that is, power of reason—his
long association with man would have
fanned it into a flame, however small.
But after all these thousands of
years of human companionship and
love he has less wit in some respects
than his wild brothers, the fox and
the wolf. Having been spared the
struggle to live that falls to their lot,
his cunning and Sagacity have deterio
rated. The same is true of the horse,
which has less intelligence than the
wild stallion of the plains and for the
same reason.
These animals do not grow wiser as
they grow less wild. They do not civi
lize or develop. We train them into
certain ways that make them service-
able t l.o us; we humanize them withoiit
adding to their mental capacity. In
other words, we cannot cross our in
telligence upon theirs and make it
fruitful in them. The germ will not
take.—John Burroughs in Outing Mag
azine.
Interview Between the Boss and the
Man He Fired.
Neither of the partners had arrived
and the clerks that morning were in
dulging in their usual bout of gossip.
“Did I tell you, chaps, that I was
leaving?” drawled the languid swell
of the staff, whose incompetence was
as palpable as the splendor of his at
tire.
“Heard you’d got the* sack,” replied
the spectacled cashier gruffly.
“I answered an advertisement yes
terday for what looks like a first class
job,” resumed the overdressed one, ig
noring the remark. “I’ve pitched rath
er a strong yarn, but you’ve got to do
that if you want to keep up with the
times.”
Just then the senior partner entered,
and all wrote intently.
Within five minutes the “old man.
who had been opening letters, called
the last speaker into his room, and the
following dialogue became plainly au
dible to those outside:
“Have you been in our service seven
years?”
“No, sir; only fifteen mouths.”
“And is your salary £4 10s. a week?”
“Eh, no, sir; 30 shillings.”
“And are y ou in "entire charge of the
counting house?”
No reply.
“And are you leaving us because of
a difference with the Arm regarding
the management of our colonial
branches?”
Dead silence and a short pause.
Then the old man:
“You should be more careful in your
statements, sir. This is a small world.
The advertisement you answered was
for the situation you are leaving or
Saturday. That will do.”—London Tit
Rita.
THE LAND OF OPHIR.
Where Was It—In Mashonaland, South
Arabia or India?
One of the most interesting and im
portant questions concerning Biblical
sites perpetually invites research and
persistently evades solution. “Where
is the land of Ophir?” Dr. Karl Pe
ters at a public meeting in Berlin de
clared emphatically that this famous
Biblical region is located between the
Zambezi and Limpopo rivers. He told
his German audience how he has dis
covered many shafts of ancient gold
mines, 500 temples, fortifications and
other ruins of Phoenician origin. Dr.
Peters affirms that coins unearthed in
Mashonaland belong undoubtedly to
the time of King Solomon. His opin
ion is that no other part of Africa
could have exported the ivory, silver
and precious stones which are record
ed In tiie Bible as coming from Ophir.
, Against {his theory, founded as iir
undoubtedly is-on very plausible evi
dence. Bible students are still like-Ey
INSULTS TO ROYALTY.
Some of the Things That Constitute
Leze Majesty In England.
Many people think that leze majesty
—giving insult to royalty—is not a
crime in Great Britain. The English
statute books, however, contain many
penalties for such offenses.
Placing a postage stamp on a letter
apside down is a punishable offense, as
is also the defacement of a coin bear
ing the royal image. Thisds insulting
the king’s effigy.
Private individuals may not raise the
royal standard over their dwellings
This is the emblem of the regal au
thority to be displayed only where the
king is present.
While an agitator may talk against
royalty in the abstract as much as he
chooses, contemptuous or insulting
personal references to the reigning sov
ereign opens the offender to a heavy
fine and imprisonment.
The slightest slap upon the face of
the king or queen—or any other part
of the anatomy, for that matter—is
punishable with the death penalty. In
the reign of Queen Victoria a Lieuten
ant Page struck her across the face
with his cane, ftle was sentenced to
death, but the queen commuted bis
sentence.
It is likewise a crime to bring the
uniform of the sovereign into con
tempt. To garb a low comedian or a
villain of the stage in a discarded uni
form of the army or the navy is suf
ficient to bring heavy censure from the
government. For this reason theatrical
managers usually see to it that the
uniforms worn are not exactly copies
of the real things.
ARTIFICIAL LIGHT.
The Most Brilliant Illumination Is No-i
Always the Best.
A writer in an engineering maga
zine offers some disconcerting inforuta
tion on the subject of illumination, dis
concerting because the reader will
probably find that he lias been, inno
cently enough, following a coui'se of
procedure there described as injurious.
For instance, in the case of eye strain
he may have felt that even the dim
light by which he worked was too
strong, and so turned down the light,
thus increasing the difficulty, or,
what is more likely to be the case,
when the strain has been caused by
too brilliant illumination he fancies
that what is needed is stronger light
and so increases it.
Overstrain from too bright ai light is
said to manifest itself by an itching
sensation in the eyeballs, with the
tendency to rub the eyes for relief.
The proper eonrsfython, is to see that
the light is more perfectly diffused or
softened and that it falls in the* right
direction. After these precautions
have been taken It is worth while to
try a smaller quantity of light, this
trial to continue long enough iu time
English House Names.
House owners arc sometimes rut her
unfortunate in their selection of names
for their abodes, and in suburbia house
naming is occasionally rather ludicrous.
Thus “The Maples” has never a ma
ple near. “The Rosary” only exists in
imagination. “Sunnyside” is the most
depressing villa residence, and houses
named after the English lakes no more
suggest the lake district than Fleet
street suggests the Bois de Boulogne.
The Anglo-Saxon word “hyrst.” sig
nifying a forest or wood, lias become
“hurst” in house naming, and “wood’
and “holt” have the same meaning.
All house names ending with these ter
minations are pretty and not unsafe to
choose.
It is curious to note that iu Hastings
and St. Leonards quite a number of
houses have typically Saxon names,
perhaps to commemorate the great
Saxon tragedy: of which the name
Hastings is reminiscent.
to maintain, on the testimony of Gene
sis x, 29, that Ophir was a section o'? I 1 for the eyes to- become fully adjusted
South Arabia. Here down to the fi.nc
of Ezekiel the Phoenicians' still land
ed to procure gold and gems wP!»
which those famous sailors and mer
chants of the ancient world! traded fra
many countries)distant from their Syri
an shores.
Many erudite writers have ’attempt
ed to identify Sofala, ow the' east const
of Africa, with Ophir. while yci <>1 br
ers have located ft In India. One .< *
the most learned essays written on th “
subject Is froms!) the pern of Professo -
Hommel. who argued that the ancic-
land of gold was Arabia Fellix.—Hioom
iletic Review.
to the clyan-ge. The- value of illumiha
tion is not to- be judged by the appar
ent brightness of the- lights when look
ed at ‘directly—the- brighter the light
the bettei—but by the- effect on the ob
ject to be looked at,, and the most de
sirable effect, so- far as the eyes are ji
concerned,, is not always produced by J
the most brilliant lights.—Indianapolis j
Star. P
**************
THE OFFICERS, FACULTY
A. and M. COLLEGE
ARE INVITED TO COME IN AND GET
ACQUAINTED
WITH THE BANKING FACILITIES OF
The City National Bank
OF BRYAN
I
DEPOSITARY OF THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT |
G. S. PARKER, President
E. H. ASTIN, Vice-President
ALBERT W. WILKERSON, C’h r
E. W. CRENSHAW, Ass’t. Cash’r
Every Courtesy
and Accommodation
to Patron:.'.
extended
*
t.
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WE SELL
Bull Dog Pipes, Fancy Smoking and Chewing
Tobaccoes, Ready-Made Cigarettes, Cigars,
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*
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THE
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Stationery, Pipes, Tobacco, Toilet Articles
of all Mnds
HOME OF THE DOLL.
Pomp of English Mayors.
Chichester arms its chief magistrate
with a gold mounted malacca cane of
office, while the mayor of Guildford
carries the stick presented to the bor
ough by Queen Elizabeth. At York
both the lord mayor and lady mayor
ess are equipped with the silver mount
ed oak staves which have marked their
authority for centuries. Among the
official retainers of the mayor of Ripon
is the municipal horn blower, who
every night at 9 o’clock winds three
blasts upon this aged musical instru
ment before the mayor’s residence and
again at the marked cross.—London
Standard. #
mn r-ie Said.
Officer—How is this, Murphy? Ser
geant complains that you called him
names. Private Murphy—Plaze. sur,
I never called him ony. names at all.
AH I said was, “Sergeant,” says I,
“some of us ought to be in a menag
erie.”—London Tit-Bits.
Inevitable.
“So Nelson is dead. What killed
him?”
“You know he had one foot in the
grave?”
“Yes.”
“Well, some one pulled his leg.”—
Harper’s Weekly.
A Man to Be Envied.
“Do you know.” remarked a visitor
to a Broadway hostelry, “I’m always
inclined to envy' the- clerk in a hott I
like this. He is always well groomed
and smiling: has a wider acquaihta-nxoc-
among the wealthy or well to do than
I can ever hope to have- and is always
so aggressively at pence- with the-world
and himself: also he wears, more- of
ten than not, a diamond scarfpha. or
ring which Is certainly beyond! me.
It’s a pretty comfortable berth.”
Several honrs later the hotel clerk
reached for his coat and hat. As he
left the office he turned to- a comrade:
“Say, Ned, can yon let me have $10
till the first? Reut due at home tomor
row, and I’m shy. Doctor’s bills hit
me pretty hard this month, and I don'U
want to lie awake tonight if l can help
it.”—New York Globe.
Her Poor Memory.
A woman who belonged to an ancient
but penniless family married a rich
plebeian, but she never forgot the mis
alliance nor allowed any one else to do
so. One day, attended by a servant,
she went into a store and gave au or
der.
“And where shall 1 send it. madam?”
said the shopkeeper.
“Jean,” said the woman, turning to
her sei-vant, “tell the man your mas
ter’s name. I never can remember it.”
fered
We are accustomed to see men de
ride what they do not understand and
snarl at the good and beautiful be
cause it lies beyond their sympathy.-
Goethe,
Methods of the Ingenibias Thuringlan
T oymakers.
Dollmakiug did not become eonspJe-
aous us au industry in the Thuringian
mountains until the middle of the niise-
teentli century, when a citizen of Son
ne berg brought from, London a doll
* which was regarded as a. great curiosl-
_. . _ , *!fcy. It had come originally from China,
. Ir ?* 0 . rne ’ ,r . .. i* v * ‘ . I 1 and its head, legs and arms were- m<wr-
A minister who sets his face against . , ^
, , , , ., , L able. This famished am Inspiration, to
bazaars once related am incident em- f., . . , . - 2 ,
. . . . . . , '■ The ingenious Thuringian toymakers.
phasizmg his feelings on. the matter. h, ... , r .
,„ {who promptly improved upon it. Lp
Once upon. a. time; h» said, “a mans. . ... . . . , ,, ,
. , 4 ’ . ’ . R to that time- they had made dolls omly
was going along a dark street when a i' , , ,
^ 7L . . . , i »t wood ami leather, but soon they
footpad suddenly appeared and point-.j )he w head _ at first a
ing has) pistol, began, to ret,eve Ms vie- ( ^ wax being app]ied a
,n !.° m mono.? • j brush, hut ftidPr brought to high per
The-thief, however,, apparently suf- 1 , .. ,. , ... ... .
, !, . - - , T ,, , feet ion, thanks, it is- sand, to an, aieci-
-ed some pangs of remorse. Tt» J . ^ ’ , ,, .
pretty rough to, be gone through like i^ en a ‘ - - man engage in
this, ain’t it, sir?’ he- itaqmlred. ll, f h ™ d * d,:0pped 1 a
’©h. that’s all right my man,’ thee I “ to ^ P«t ot fluid wax and on,taking
•held up’ one- answered cheerfully. T: lfc <> u fol, » d J 1 with a smooth
was on my way to. a. bazaar. You’re and ^autitu coat of the substance.
first, and there’s an, end; of it!’ ’’-Lone He “ ot s t «', se *? e th ® idea ’ ^
doctTelegraph. resu,t befng tbe adoption of the d p-
ping process, the final touches of color
being put ou with a camel’s hair pen
cil. Later on the movable eyes and!
closing: lids, to feign sleep; were added,
and the fleece of the Angora goat was
substituted for human hair In the mak
ing of wigs, holding its color and cur»
much better, the doll as it is known
today thus assuming its final and
highly artistic form.
Dressing the dolls after they are
made has become an industry in which
numbers of women and girls are em
ployed. For the small, inexpensive
dolls little chemises, finished with a
ruffle of lace around the neck and
arms, are made by hundreds and re
quire no skilled labor for their con
struction.—Rene Bache in Circle.
Modern Plays and Players,
We no longer demand that a man, or
woman play a parti We insist that the
part fit the man. ov woman. This con
dition noydoubt is largely the fa-ultt of
managers, who. instead of requiring
impersonation pick performers for
their likeness to- tile characters to be
assumed.- “Have you a father?” one
can imagine them inquiring o-f a can
i didate. “Yes.” “Then you won’t do.
This man’s father died twenty years
before the beginning of the play.”-
Argonaut.
Reformed.
“Did she marry her husband to re
form him?”
“I guess so. She reformed him, all
right.”
“Why, he drinks like a fish.”
“I know it, but he didn’t use to be
fore she married him.”—Houston Post.
J. IV. HUNICUT
L.i'Oeryman
First Class Service-
J. Allen Myers
safety Razors, Pocket
Knives, Etc,
Bryan. - Texa.
W. H. LAWRENCE
Dentist
Bryan, - - Iexas
Office over Haswell’s,. Phone 275
EXCHANGE
S having Parlor
BATTLE BROS,, Props..
HOT AND COLD BATHS
NEXT
DOOR TO EXCHANGE: MOTEL.
BRYAN, TEXAS.
Too Broad a Hint.
’You’ve got a fellow in there that
won’t wait on me again, not much,"
said an irate customer, as he emerged
from the dining room and slapped his
money down on the pay desk. “I’m
Impossible Combination.
“The time, the place and the girl!
How seldom we find them together!”
“Bah! The combination that we sel
dom find together Is the man. the 1 no ^ f or g e t me,’ I think it is about tipie
shower and the umbrella. —Louis.il * gomething was done.”—London Mail.
Courier-Journal.
not stingy,” continued the customer,
“and don’t mind giving tips, but when
a waiter hangs round till a fellow has
nearly finished eating and whistles ‘Do
BRYAN
Roller Rink
THREE SESSIONS DAILY
):30 a. m. to 12:00 noon
2:30 p. m. r 0 5:00 p. m.
/:30 p. m. to 10:00 p. m.
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New Music
Clean Floor
Cadet sand others cordially in