Other Sales
Our Sales
While others have been giving
Special Sales, we have kept right
on “sawing wood” and selling
unseasonable goods (such as we
do not want to carry over until
next winter) at cut prices just the
same, but have decided to make
such deep cuts on what is left
that they will move out at
A Double Quick Pace! li
The following deep cuts should do the work:
One-Half Off Regular Price
All Bath Robes. All Smoking Jackets. All House Coats.
One-Third Off Regular Price
All Cravenette Overcoats. All Fancy Vests. All Sweaters.
All Full Dress Mufflers. All Fancy Silk Suspenders.
All colored Novelty Shape Hats.
One-Fourth Off Regular Price
All Black Novelty Shape Hats. All Winter Underwear.
All odds and ends Men’s and Boys’ Shoes.
All Men’s and Boys’ Oxfords.
Let us do your cleaning and pre.sing. All work guaranteed.
Hunter & Chatham
Men’s Furnishers
TRAIN SCHEDULE.
I. & G. N. R. R.
No. 101 South bound 5:12 p. m.
No. 102 North bound 10:30 a. m.
H. & T. C. R' R.
No 3 North bound ....l:26p. m.
No. 5 North bound ...12:36a. m.
No. 2 South bound 3:49 p. m.
No. 6 South bound 2:57 a. m.
Local
F. K. McGinnis ’00 was on the cam
pus Sunday.
Henry Hutson ’96 is visiting his
father on the campus.
Dr. Marstellar is in the hospital with
-fi-~severe case or grippe.
O. L. Ellis and J. R v Lauderdale have
recovered from the measles and are
again at classes.
J. H. McLeod and Bill Heller have
each become the proud possessor of
new Ingersol watches.
There are several new “fish” on the
campus They are always welcome
and never more so than now.
Cadets are requested not to touch
tin- bricks intended for Goodwin hall
as they might crumble and cause much
loss.
A photograph was taken a short
while ago of the Senior Agriculture
students manufacturing cheese. “Car
ter did it.”
HONEY BEE
e my love a tender line—
‘Honey, be my valentine.”
ay her answer came to me—
simply, “Stung!”
Signed) “Honey Bee.’”
INFORMAL DANCE.
A most enjoyable dance was given
at the Shirley Friday evening, Feb.
21, by a number of Bachelor Professors
and members of the two dancing clubs.
Mr. J. S. Dean and Miss Jesse Garth
led the grand march, after which un
ique programs were distributed and
one of the best dances of the season
continued until after midnight.
Those present were: Misses Rey
nolds, Franklin, Welch, Hearne,
Alberta Adams Jessie Garth,
Cora Garth, Winnie Thomas, Hattye
Lou Hudson, Hutson, Watkins, De-
Maret, Carson, Cavitt, Davis, Smith,
l’-ene Board, Waite, Lucy Board,
Eaves. Messrs. Dean, Kelley, Jones,
L. P., Berthei, Rushmore, Smith, E.
W. Adams, L. Homeyer, Burns, Smith,
A. J., Muller, Rather, Moore, Sampson,
Rife, Warden, Carlyste, Hamner.
Spivey, KMd, Skaggs.
THE COMING OF SPRING.
From the behavior of the weather
during the last day or two, even a Tex-
be almost justified in predicting that
winter is nearly over. At any rate,
spring will soon be here, and with it
will come all the usual activities of
the spring term. Students have al
ready begun to play tennis, a track
team will soon be organized, and
baseball practice is not far distant.
Another sign of spring is the fact that
the copy for the Long Horn has gone
to the printer, and the annual will prob
al ly be issued within the coming
month. One thousand copies will be
printed this year. The editors of The
B; ttalion, on the other hand, are plan-
ivog several improvements.
We have many reasons to hope for
success along all lines this year, and
every student should make a point of
being his best in whatever he under
takes. Of course he should under-
t: ke those things for which he is best
fitted. A. and M. expects every man
to do all he can for the institution.
WHAT'S THE USE?
Said a kittenish girl of “a certain age,”
With a dash of gray on her head.
When her Candid Friend inquired of
her,
“How is it you’ve never wed?”
‘ x need no man in my little home
To lend it a masculine light.
1 own a dog that growls all day
And a parrot that swears all night.”
A SLAM-BANG BALLAD.
Which tells how a very prim an prop
er Boston girl met her fate in the
wicked city of Chicago:
(By Nixon Waterman)
Once there was a Boston girl whose
name was—never mind.
Her bunch of Back Bay Manners was
so proper and refined
That all about her seemed to cling an
eighteen-Carat Charm;
She wouldn’t bite an onionf or an
eighty-acre farm.
She’d half-a-dozen maiden aunts, left
over patterns, who
I (ad diagnosed the whiskered sex and
found it wouldn’t do!
These petticoated paragons had lived
through scores of Junes,
Yet never had been smitten by a pair
of pantaloons.
They took this girl when very young
and taught her, day by day
Precisely ^ow she ought to act and
what to do and say;
l ill everythihg she said or did was al
ways so polite—
Just like an automatic doll wound up
to do it right.
They taught her twenty million things
a maiden shouldn’t do!
Red stockings were a mortal sin, so
hers were always blue.
They cooled the current in her veins
and made it run so slow
That it reduced her temperature to
ten degrees below.
They told this trusting girl that love
of this platonic kind
Was all of it there vas worth whil i
to feed the cultured mind—
r i hat holding hands and such as that
was altogether crude,
While kissing proved tne kisser ami
kissee were very rude.
When she was twenty-two her aunts
selected her a beau,
A safe, cold-storage seer so cold his
his whiskers wouldn’t grow,
Who, once when all the lights went
out, with promptness and dispatch.
Was fool enough to waste his time in
hunting for a match!
For seven years he talked to her of
sermon, play and book,
For seven long, lean, lonesome years,
and yet he never took
Her lilj T -fashioned hand in his! Nay,
nay, Twas theirs to find
That grand platonic tie that joins, not
heai’ts, but mind with mind.
Their cracked-ice friendship might
have kept foreyer and a day
But Cupid’s xeet were getting cold and
so he found a way;
; He sent this girl to visit friends in
Bluff Chicago, where
There’s lots of soot and sentiment in
every breath of air.
Of course she did not like the place
nor people, but it’s best
In her own chosen words to tell the
the thoughts which she expressed
In writing to her aunties: “And to
night a young man who’s
A rich pork-packer is to call. I’ll
tell you all the news
“As soon as I’ve dismissed him. oh, if
Reginald were here!
So we could closely cull the books as
fast as they appear.
And read the latest essays on philoso-
phy and such.
As we have done for seven years,
"twould please me very much!
f f
“The young men here are crude, of
course; they have not had the
chance
That those in dear old Boston have in
culture to advance.
For killing pigs and canning beef—ah.
well; we can’t expect
That such vocations can produce the
highest intellect.
“I wish that you could hide behind the
door to-night and see
This ‘Wild and Woolly’ Westerner who
dares to call on me;
I’m sure you’d have a lot of fun—
hark! there’s the bell, ah, yes!
Tis he, and now I’ll have to waste an
hour more or less.”
“Dear Aunties: It L three A. M., and
though I’m nervous, quite—
Fiease pardon this wild scribbling—
still I feel I’ve got to write
And tell you all about it, and you must
forgive me, do! f
Because, oh. Aunties! I’d so love to do
as much for you!
“I don’t know how it happened, though
I’ve thougt it o’er and o’er.
But, anyway, I’m so glad you were not
behind the door!
For Harry—Mr. Flush, I mean—was
oh, so bold and bad!
I’m sorry that he acted so and yet—ah,
t yes!—I’m glad!
“When we were left alone I sought to
speak with him of books;
Discussing authors bored him—I could
tell it by his looks;
He answered, when I asked him which
of all he deemed the best.
I’m fond of Lamb and Bacon, but I’ve
never tried the rest.’
“Platonic love was mentioned, and its
clasp of mind and mind;
He asked me if I wouldn’t like to try
the other kind.
I spurned the proposition, but I cannot
understand
Just how it was that, by and by, he
somehow held my hand!
“He then began to tell me things that
lovers say in books:
He talked about the birds and bees,
the butterflies and brooks
Of music, dance, of starlit skies, of
clover field and June,
Until my senses drifted in a sweet,
delicious swoon.
“And can you still forgive me, if I tell
you all the rest?
He put his arm abut me and my head
upon his breast.
I heard the words that seemed so
much of Heaven to convey
That Reginald and Boston slipped a
million miles away.
‘ You meant well when you taught me
that Platonic love is all
That those highly, cultured minds
would in their lives install.
But, though I’m just a simple child, I
really must insist
Uless you’ve tried the other kind you
don’t know what you’ve missed.
“Poor Reginald! For seven years he’s
talked to me, but, oh!
I’ve learned tonight from Mr. Flush
Reggy’s awful slow.
To treat a girl as he has me is little
short of crime:
I feel that 1 should sue him for a lot of
wasted time.
“And so when Mr. Flush remarked:
‘Now, how’d you like to be
A crude pork-packer’s little wife and
take your meals with me?’
I didn’t answer: ‘This is so sudden!’
Not a bit;
I said: ‘Farewell, dear Boston, for
Cliicago now is it!”
This ballad has a moral, but I need
not point it out.
For every one that reads it sees the
point, without a doubt;
Platonic love does w^ell enough in
books, but* oh! it stands
But it stands mighty little chance
against the laying on of hands.
A VALID OBJECTION.
Young Sheridan’s Ready Wit Saved
Him a Birching.
Richard Brinsley Sheridan early
•evinced a genius for getting something
for nothing and, seeing the door of the
refectory had inadvertently been left
unlocked, peeped in and saw a huge
basket of grapes freshly gathered from
the orchard.
Stealthily closing the door and ap
proaching the grapes, he thus address
ed them: “I publish the banns of mar
riage between Richard Brinsley Sheri
dan and these grapes. Is there any
one to forbid the banns?” And. having
no reply r to his query, he proceeded to
fill his breadbasket from the other bas
ket with great gusto. But ret ri Oration
was to follow, for on the ck^s being
reassembled the master enliod upon
Richard Brinsley Sheridan to stand
forth and joined with his name the
ominous name of Walker, who was the
dunce of the school and selected from
his weight and size to mount the cul
prit upon his shoulders in order that
the master might get a firm surface
upon which to use the birch with ef
feet.
Sheridan being duly mounted anA
appropriately denuded of superfluous
raiment, the master thus addressed
him: “I publish the banns of marriage
between Richard Brinsley Sheridan
and this birch. Is there any just cause
or impediment why these two parties
should not be joined in holy matri
mony ?”
“Hold!” yelled Sheridan.
“Well?” said the master.
To which Sheridan said, “Why. sir.
the parties are not agreed!”
This being not only witty, but apt,
as being a valid objection in point of
law, Sheridan was requested to re
tire and restore himself to his former
habiliments amid the uncontrollable
laughter of all concerned, including
the head master.—Exchange.
Putting it Mildly.
The flooding of a Yorkshire mine had
a tragic result, and a miner was de
puted to break the news to a poor wo
man whose husband had been drown
•<L
“Does Widow Jones live here?”
“No,” was the indignant lady’s reply
“You’re a liar!” he said.- 1 —Lofcdon
Tatler. > >
Never tell your resolution before
band.—Sfclden.
NATURE’S MYSTERIES.
And the Little That Man Really
Knows About Them.
I seized the opportunity some little
while ago on finding myself sitting
next to a great physicist of asking him
a series of fumbling questiohs on the
subject of modern theories of matter.
For an hour I stumbled like a child,
supported by a strong hand, in a dim
and unfamiliar world, among the mys
terious essences of things. I should
like to try to reproduce it here, but I
have no doubt I should reproduce it all
wrong. Still, it was deeply inspiring
to look out into chaos, to bear the rush
and motion of atoms moving in vast
vortices, to learn that inside the hard
est and most impenetrable of sub
stances there was probably a feverish
intensity of inner motion. I do not
know that I acquired any precise
knowledge, but I drank deep drafts of
wonder and awe. / ■
The great mail, with his amused and
weary smile, was infinitely gentle and
left me, I will say, far more conscious
of the beauty and the holiness of
knowledge. I said something to him
about the sense of power that such
knowledge must give. “Ah,” be said,
“much of what I have told you is not
proved; it is only suspected. We are
very much in the dark about these
things yet. Probably if a physicist of
a hundred j T ears hence could overbear
me he would be amazed to think that
a sensible man could make such puer
ile statements. Power—no, it is not
that! It rather makes one realize
one’s feebleness in being so uncertain
about things that are absolutely cer
tain and precise in themselves, if we
could but see the truth. It is much
more like the apostle who said: ‘Lord,
I believe. Help thou my unbelief.’ The
thing one wonders at is the courage of
the men who dare to think they
know.”—Putnam’s.
POWER OF WEALTH.
Money, Says a Physician, Is Able to
Purchase Even Life.
The aged millionaire sighed.
“I’d give all my money,” he said, “if
1 could buy twenty-five more years of
life.”
“But your money has already
bought you that,” said the physician
coldly.
“What rot are you talking now?”
the millionaire asked peevishly.
“No rot at all, for it is a fact, a
dreadful fact,” said the physician,
“that the rich live, on the average,
twenty-five years longer than the
poor. Born rich, you are assured of a
quarter century more life than would
be your allotment were you born poor..
Wealth buys you all that. And yet
they say that there is nothing in mon
ey. Why, man, money buys life.”
“How do you mean?” said the mil
lionaire. “This sounds rather like
nonsense to me.”
“Oh, wealth protects one from - so
many ills. Rich babies nearly always
live, but poor ones die of a hundred
complaints induced by poverty. Poor
babies die off shockingly. And so with
boys and girls, with men and women—
if they are rich. They live healthily
and therefore long, while if they are
poor they live unhealthily, and dis
ease, accident, contagion, privation—
all sorts of preventable things—carry
them off.
“Yes. money buys life, and reliable
statistics show that if two children are
born today, one/ rich and the other
poor, the, rich one will outlive Ibe oth
er by the tidy margin of twenty-five
vears.”—Philadelphia Record.
The Origin of “Parson.”
“Parson” is from the Latin “per-
«ona,” a person, and the parson is the
persona ecclesiac, or representative, of
the church. The forms parsqn and
person bear the same relation to each
other as dark and clerk. From being
pronounced parsqn the word has come
ito be so written. Blackstone in his
^Commentaries” says:
“He is called ‘parson’ (persona) be
cause by bis person the church, which
is an invisible body, is represented,
and he is himself a body corpoi’ate in
order to protect and defend the rights
of the church which he represents.”
“To parse a sentence” is to resolve it
Into its grammatical parts, and the
verb is declared to have arisen from
the interrogation “Pars?” — that is,
“Quae pars orationis?” (What part of
speech?) used by schoolmasters.
Dates Supplied.
“Don’t wait for your opportunity—
make it.” So read Mr. Kalestalk, who
bad recently started in business as a
greengrocer.
He was still pondering this excellent
dogma wfflen his eye caught an item in
the sporting columns of the local pa
per, “Sploshton Wanderers Football
club requires dates for ensuing sea
son.”
Here was a chance for Mr. Kalestalk,
so he wrote to the secretary of the
club:
“Dear Sir—I presume you require
dates for use at half time. Shall be
glad to supply quotation for same
either by the stone or hundredweight.”
—Jxmdon Graphic.