THE BATTALION.
51
the preacher would withdraw the accu
sation he would not harm him. They
then went to the preacher, who prom
ised them that he would withdraw the
accusation next Sunday.
Therefore, in the pulpit on the follow
ing Sunday, the minister said 1 that a re
mark of his in his last serman had been
the cause of offense, and he would there
fore amend it. “What I should have said
was this: ‘I see before me eleven chicken
thieves, not including Erastus Johnson.’ ”
UNCLE JOSH AT THE HOTEL.
IHKT.ANT) GRAVES.
When Uncle John went to Chicago he
was directed to the Palmer House, where
he wanted to spend the night.
When asked by the clerk to register he
replied that he had already registered
and voted before he left home, and he
had forgotten his pedigree anyhow. He
ordered a room, and when the bell boy
came to 1 take his grip he remarked that
he did not see any bells on him.
'When he entered the elevator he didh’t
have time to complain that that room
was too small to suit him before he was
on the tenth floor and told to follow the
bell boy. On entering the room he saw
on the door this sign, “Don’t blow out
the gas,” and right under that another,
reading, “Gas burned after 12 o’clock
must be paid extra for,” and not seeing
the reasonableness of the statements he
picked up his baggage and left the hotel
disgusted.
A SLIGHT ERROR IN JUDGMENT.
S. H. BRIGGS.
We had a very amusing character who
acted as our guide on a fishing and hunt
ing trip last summer.
One day, seeing some fish in the shadow
of an old tree which had fallen into the
river, he told us he would show us a
thing or two about shooting fish. He
crept out on the tree carefully, and tak
ing deliberate aim, pulled the triggers
of both barrels—and disappeared from
view.
In his hurry he had forgotten to load
his gun, and as he had leaned forward
to resist the recoil of the gun, of course
he toppled over when it failed to recoil.
The strangest part of it was that he
never could understand the joke; but I
do not blame him, as it was in December
and rather cold.
The better a man is, the greater his
ardor in the preservation of learning;
for he knows that of all plagues, ignor
ance is the most pernicious.—Melanch-
thon.
A careful culture and practice of the
memory should early be practiced;
If you add little to little, and do it often,
the little will soon grow.—Plutarch.
First, soundly infix in thy mind what
thou desirest to remember. What won
der is it if agitation of business jog that
out of thy head which was there rather
tacked than fastened? It is best knock
ing in the nail over night, and clinching
it the next morning.—Fuller.
It is worth more to be possessed of
but few of the lessons of wisdom, but to
apply these diligently, than to know
many, but not to have them at hand.—
Seneca.
Unless reason also preside over obser
vation, we shall pick up dust and chaff
instead of grain.—Comenius.