LOCALS
Call at the “Nat” and get a “polar”
bath.
It takes a “Swift” boy to eat eleven
biscuits for supper.
Weller says the commandant inspected
with a' buck-eye lantern.
Scott says he made a mash on a girl
in Bryan. Wonder if be wore bis frock.
Professor: Mr. Reardon, what organs
are most affected by the light? Reardon:
Hand organs.
Robert Reardon said the girls in Bryan
are like Professor Burgeon’s steel—'they
break off easy.
Harry Kirkpatrick would like to know
if Garbade don’t get tired walking sen
tinel all night.
Since the election, why is it that some
boys get two pieces of cusb for dessert
and others don’t get any?
“Water combines” seem to be the order
of the day. Ross Hall boasts of one,
with a goodly number of stockholders.
Scott (talking to young lady in
Bryan) : Why, yes, I have read Shake
speare and several other modem orators.
Life in the Backwoods—Mother: Mary
Ann, take your bare foot off that hot
coal. Mary Ann: Which foot is it
under, Ma?
Professor Ness: I have seven men in
this section and six in the other. Mr.
Harrington, you go in the other section
and make it even.
Professor of Chemistry: Mr. Schultze,
what kind of a tombstone do you intend
to have on your grave (wishing him to
say granite. Schultze: A pine board.
Keep constantly in mind the fact that
Neff represents the best laundry in Texas
—“The Model,” of Houston. Have your
bundles ready and Neff will call for
them.
Professor fto new student) : How did
you get here? New Student: I came by
freight; I stutter so much that the folks
were afraid that I could not express my
self.
Messrs. Parks and Waldrop have a very
superior grade of U. S. regulation cam
paign hats. They are equal to any “Stet
son,” and are only $3.00. Call at once,
as only a few are left.
Mr. Wyse (entering a jewelry store):
I would like to see a clock, please. Clerk:
Here is one that will run eight days with
out winding. Mr. Wyse: How long
would it run if you were to wind it?
Several days ago, while the corps was
eating dinner, a carver of one of the
tables was called upon to send in the
chili plate to be refilled several times,
whereupon the wit of the table said:
“That waiter will begin to think we are
‘hot stuff’ after awhile.”
v MYSTEBY OF THE BIRD.
It was a few minutes past the noon
hour as our crowd, numbering ten, hur
riedly wended its way toward the sec
tion room. The day was dark and
gloomy, for Old Sol had failed to put in
his appearance.
As we neared our destination silence
came over the crowd, and softly tiptoe
ing, that we might not disturb our pro
fessor, we filed into the room.
Great was the surprise when on enter-